Internalized Ableism - Tumblr Posts

reminder that internalized bigotry isn't a silly quirk of yours! it is a flaw that you have to move past!!!

I’m learning this over time. The queer experience is dominant society punishing people like us the burden for simply existing. Do these people ever think that anybody asks to be born? Are we so abhorrent that we’re destined to die, yet we are needed to be alive to be their demonized scapegoat too? That’s the inconsistency of hate: it is learned, perpetuated, and it is illogical and incoherent by its very nature.

Like American comedian, George Carlin, said once in his “Jammin’ from New York” 1992 special, spoke: “If you’re pre-born, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.”

We deserve better and owed better than what was going on in 1992.

Some days will be harder than others when you are sick. Don't be ashamed of asking for help, for accommodations, or canceling plans and staying in bed. Only you know what your body and mind are going through and you should listen to your needs instead of sacrificing them to make others feel more comfortable. Your illness doesn't make you a burden and you should stay away from people who treat like one. You should be loved for who you are, accepted completely as the complex human being you are. You are more than your illness, but remember to validate it and set boundaries with yourself and others regarding what your body needs so you can be healthy on the long run.

It’s really hard living with disability and surviving the cruel regime of the United States. I’m tired of resting. I’m tired of being an ambulatory cane user who’s looking into wheelchairs just to reclaim a better fidelity for mobility. I’m tired of having to grieve alone what COVID-19 took from me for three years now.

I was scared. I was alone in isolation. There were no ambulances or hospital beds. I reached a critical point of multi day high fever and drowning in my lung fluid that I was ready to die. I reached a point where my body gave it all and the lights faded out. I was scared to survive. I still feel this.

I hope these days spent resting will mean something, for I am not sure or optimistic. For now, I am scared and I am tired.

I am not broken. I have been wounded.

I am not damaged. I have been hurt.

I am not useless. I am making the best of my limited capacity.

I am not lazy. I need rest to heal.

I am not unreliable. I live an unpredictable life.

I am not irresponsible. I am relearning how to function.

THIS. And another great way to manipulate doctors into your favorite also involves sayings like:

“A (friend or family member) of mine is dealing with the same symptoms and conditions. Their doctor told them that…”

“Really? The doctors told my (friend or family member) that (insert symptoms here). What do you suggest about going about this?”

Surely, there are other ways to say these examples, but the point is that you refer to a close person in your life and mentioned how they got help by their doctor because the oneness of reputation matters more to enough doctors than the care of their patients, particularly if you come from marginalized and intersectional backgrounds. Doctors in the United States are incentivized to push drugs without care because the system is based on profit and not care. It will change one day soon and for the better, but for now you’re just needing to survive and you matter to be here when we get to that point in care.

i think a LOT of you with chronic conditions should learn this one magical phrase to get your hospital doctor to shit his entire pants, which is leaving the room and saying "im going to go discuss your behavior with the ethics committee, i think you might need a reminder of what your job is"

Wrote a thing for a prompt by @fl0w3rg0at 👍

I wrote some poetry about autism when I was younger but now looking back on it I don't think I really liked acknowledging the fact that I was disabled by my autism. If anything I was desperate to prove how undisabled I am and now that I'm older and having more frequent meltdowns I'm starting to think I have some sort of complex around accepting the fact that I am in fact developmentally disabled

Is somebody gonna match my freak?

Knowing the term “actually autistic” actually hurts autistic individuals that did not have a privilege of being diagnosed. By pretending you have a moral high ground because you have a diagnosis is not only ableism but just fucked up 🤷‍♀️

You can say you were diagnosed. Just don’t put other people down that haven’t been, thanks.

I made that post specifically so people could see lots of people have ableist ideas unintentionally. By dismantling the idea that we need to disclose our medical “issues” we are also dismantling our effed up gov systems.

once again i think gatekeeping diagnoses is ridiculous and if you actively discredit other people’s autism, PTSD, EDS etc you are participating in ableism. These things are hard to diagnose medically and self diagnosis helps and most people i know online that are diagnosed neurodivergent like me that also think they are autistic feel like they don’t really have a space because you exclude them! That’s ableism babe! We need to do better!

I have been really going through it with bad memories from my life as Zuki lately, lol.

So, instead, I wanna share some good memories I have so I can balance out the bad.

Since I was like an older sibling to Izuku, I would let him help me preen my wings and shit, which is a thing for mostly family [and mates]. He was one of the only ones that I allowed to do this for a long time. Eventually, others from Class 1A got added to the list of people who were allowed to even touch my wings, let alone preen them. Hikari, my queer platonic partner, was the second person who I allowed to preen my wings [of my class], we may not have been romantic, but they were still my mate. Hitoshi was the third cause he was my little brother, legally this time, lol. Toshi was the least likely to ask to preen my wings though, even after getting permission to ask, I would usually have to ask him if he wanted to help for him to feel like he could, lol [it did come from his trauma though so it's ok, love you bro]. I allowed Denki to touch my wings and tail cause it would help with his ADHD sometimes, which mood I would play with my own tail to help my ADHD, lol. There are others, but these are the ones I feel like sharing rn.

Bro, I remember hanging out with the "girls" [I use quotes cause not everyone identified as a girl/woman]. We would have "girl's night," which once again not everyone identified with that gender but it's pretty much what we would call it, lol. It was fun. We would paint each other's nails. The ones who knew makeup and shit would help those who wanted to learn. And we would just talk about shit. I miss these "girl's nights" so much.

I miss the game nights we would have as a whole class. We had to ban some games cause of how people got, lol. Monopoly was the first one to be banned, lol. We would play Uno the most, even though people got very competitive [*cough* Bakugo and me mainly *cough*]. We also had to ban truth or dare, and I will not be explaining why, I think it's obvious why. Would you rather and never have I ever were allowed though, lol.

Dadzawa and Papamic would take me, Eri, and Toshi to do fun activities, such as arts and crafts, go trick or treating, and other fun shit, lol. I would usually end up carrying Eri at some point cause she loved to be carried, and it helped with my protective instincts, lol. I would usually wrap my wings around her while holding her, and she loved it. If someone who is good at art would draw that for me, I would love it [I don't have money rn so I'm not gonna commission anyone right now, but I might when I get enough money, lol].

I would never have described myself as good with kids, and I would say that I wasn't a lot. My friends and family tended to disagree with me there. They would bring up how good I was with Eri, Kota, and a kid who is not canon. But I would bring up in response that they were all traumatized kids that I latched onto in a sibling way mainly but also cause I saw bits of myself in them and didn't want them to not have someone. Other kids I was definitely not good with. I would say I'm not really good with kids in this life, even though at the church I am forced to go to, I help with the kids, lol. Kids are kinda weird.

I remember Remo, my service dog, and despite the fact that I had been so fucking upset that I needed another being/creature with me to function, I loved him. I remember when I would have him off duty and use my quirk to become a little wolfdog with wings spirit thing and play with him, lol. I also used that to play with Hikari, whose quirk let them become certain animals, lol. It was very fun to do these things and I miss being able to do that.

I really miss everyone. I miss my life as Zuki. I miss my pack. I miss my wings. I miss my tail. I miss my ears. I miss my sharp teeth. I miss my claws. I miss being Zuki physically.

- Zuki Shay Lupo (They/it/xe)