Me: I Wanna Be Like My Hair

me: i wanna be like my hair

my friend: why? coz it's shiny and smooth?

me: no. coz it's ded.

Wylan, holding a cauliflower in front of Kaz: What’s this?

Kaz: ...Cauliflower?

Wylan, to Jesper: Now tell him what you think it is.

Jesper, arms folded: Ghost broccoli.

at some point this has had to happen (after the snape calling lily the 'm' word situation).

snape: *taps james's back at breakfast

james: *aggressively turns around

james: what, snivey?

snape: how's your girlfriend?

james: *confused but trying not to show it* I don't have a girlfriend...yet

snape: i know im just reminding you.

snape: *swiftly walks off*

james: *yells* hey snivey

everyone (including teachers): *looks up from food to see whats going on*

james: how's your mom?

everyone including lily and regulus except Slytherin: *laughing too loudly

minnie: *whispers* nice one, potter

get insomnia. it's not fun. would not recommend

the goody goody friend: *trying to be bad* i slept at 2 am yesterday...!!

me: *casually* try 4 am

you're irl friends with wolfie/nu?

yes....unfortunately

ye uu?

HELLO ITS WOLFIE I DECIDED TO STEAL THIS CHILDS LAPTOP AND SEND YOU AN ASK CUZ IM BORED ANYWAY LEMME INTRODUCE U TO MY FRIEND KIKI SHES STUPID AND ALSO KINDA SMART AT THE SAME TIME AND SHE LOVE DINOSAURS IM GONNA GO NOW BYEEE FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS

-@tiny-gremlinss

:00 HELLO OH MY GODS

you sound really cool and i'd love to meet youu :D