Your Eyes, Though, Were Beautiful,When I Gazed Into Them,Years Stretched Between Me And Death.

Your eyes, though, were beautiful, When I gazed into them, Years stretched between me and death.

I Was Bullied Too, So Why Didn’t I Turn Out Like Severus Snape?

I came across an anti-Snape post where someone shared their experience of being bullied in school. They said that even though they were bullied, they were able to overcome it, which is why they admired James Potter—because he changed and stopped being a bully. However, they hate Snape for not being able to move on from his past.

Everyone has the right to hate or love the characters based on their taste but What bothers me is how people often compare their own trauma to others' and disregard the genetic and environmental differences that shape us as individuals. I’ve decided to write a long post comparing my own life with Snape’s—two people who were both bullied as children. it was difficult for me to write this post, but I hope this comparison shows that not everyone who experiences bullying ends up the same. The variances in our upbringing and support systems play a crucial role in shaping who we become.

When I was seven years old, I was mocked and humiliated by a group of older girls on the school bus (they were eleven at the time). They made it clear that they bullied me because I was smaller and weaker than them. They treated me in a way that made me believe I deserved their bullying. I thought a weak and ugly girl like me was deserving of all their humiliation. They would mess up my hair, pull it, and ridicule me for having messy and ugly hair. Whenever I cried, they laughed. They didn't even let me be friends with other girls. To torment me further, they would point at me, whisper to each other, and giggle, making me feel even more isolated. I had allergies and a runny nose, and they wouldn’t let me wipe it, which they used as another reason to belittle me, saying I was disgusting. Even if there was an empty seat, they wouldn’t let me sit with them because I was "gross." I was terrified of them, hated school because of them, and cried every morning, begging not to go to school.

But why didn’t I turn out like Severus Snape?

1- I grew up like a normal child in every other aspect of my life. I was cared for and valued. I always had birthday parties with cake and gifts. I was praised when I got good grades. I had friends outside of school to play with, went on family vacations, and had fun times. From childhood to adulthood, I’ve had a safe home, enough sleep, good food, and a loving family.

2- I had parents who loved and cared about me. When my mother found out about the bullying, she went to the school and demanded they stop it. My parents also enrolled me in a private school to protect me from further bullying. When I started having nightmares and trouble sleeping, they took me to a child therapist.

3- My grandparents adored me. I would stay at their house when my parents were at work, and they made my childhood even more joyful. I always had safe arms to run to. Plus, my aunts and uncles cared for me and regularly took me to parks and other fun places, showering me with gifts and making sure I enjoyed my time.

4- My family had a respectable place in society, and I was never shamed or humiliated because of my family's circumstances. My father cared for me, my sister, and my mother, and he worked hard to provide for our needs. He respected my mother, and I never witnessed any abuse from him toward her.

5- My family had a stable income, and I always had new, appropriate clothes to wear. I never had to worry about poverty, hunger, or wearing hand-me-downs that would make me feel inferior to my peers.

6- My bullies mocked me, but they never caused me serious physical harm. I never feared for my life or sexual assault at school. The bullying was short-lived, lasting less than two years, and by the time I was a teenager, it had completely stopped. As I grew older, I made plenty of good friends and was popular among them. I have many fond memories from high school with my friends.

7- As a teenager, I didn’t worry about my future. My concerns were not about surviving a war, avoiding humiliation, or escaping poverty. I was free to plan my life, knowing I would go to university and study what I loved. Whenever I needed help, I knew I could count on my family—they were always there to support me.

8- I’m a psychology student, and studying this field has completely shifted my perspective on myself and others. It has allowed me to see the world with greater depth and empathy. I’ve become better at recognizing not only my own psychological wounds but also those of others, which has helped me connect with people on a deeper level. I've also sought therapy, both in-person and online, and have seen positive results. While I still struggle with some issues from my past—like feeling insecure about my appearance, doubting people’s motives, and having a hard time trusting—I’ve learned how to manage these feelings fairly well.

All of these factors combined have shaped me into someone different from Severus Snape. Yes, I was bullied, but I didn’t turn out like him because, unlike Snape, I was given numerous opportunities to grow, to experience love and joy, to heal, and to find pleasure in life.

Now, It’s much easier for someone like me to be kind and nice to others, to love people, to forgive myself and others, and to move on from those who don’t like me. It’s easier for me to see the world and people not as threats but with a more mature and balanced perspective. but I’m under no illusion that I am a better and more worthy person than Severus Snape or anyone like him who didn’t have the chance to heal. I simply know that I’ve been luckier, and for that, I’m grateful. But I never want to dismiss or belittle the suffering of others or blame them for their psychological struggles.

I can’t say for certain what I would’ve done in Snape’s exact situation or how bitter I might’ve become. But I’m certain of one thing: I could never be as brave or as selfless as Snape was, sacrificing his own life so readily for others. I know that I could never be a hero like him.

Talking about Snape as a child who was clearly abused, neglected, and exposed to domestic violence… -But he bullied children, didn’t he?

Talking about Snape's first meeting with Lily and his attempts to make friends as a lonely nine-year-old… - But he bullied children, didn’t he?

Talking about how Snape was ridiculed and humiliated for his appearance and poverty, with his bullies even naked him in public… - But he bullied children, didn’t he?

Talking about how a twenty-year-old Snape was willing to do anything to keep the Potter family safe, and after Lily’s death, he wished he had died… - But he bullied children, didn’t he?

Talking about the Half-Blood Prince, Snape’s talent in potions, Dark Arts, and inventing spells… - But he bullied children, didn’t he?

Talking about Snape’s traumatic flashbacks in the Shrieking Shack, where despite recalling horrific memories, he was still willing to go there to save the kids… - But he bullied children, didn’t he?

Talking about the Unbreakable Vow and how Snape was ready to risk his life for Draco… - But he bullied children, didn’t he?

Talking about his twenty years of loyalty, courage, efforts to save Harry Potter, and accepting his own death to protect others… - But he bullied children, didn’t he?

It's crazy that the anti Snape people always generally come and comment under the posts explaining that Snape is not a Nazi, fascist, supremacist and incel, all to say that he is Neville's worst fear, as if that was a magic card ? This is already an argument which is not one and which once again generally has nothing to do with the subjects discussed. Not only that but it is something that is false because this entire argument is based on deliberately misreading the passage in question.

I read your post about Regulus but I gotta say, I’m not totally on board. Just ‘cause he was the ‘good son’ doesn’t really mean he was loved, you know? A lot of the time, being the perfect heir—joining the Death Eaters keeping up the family’s image is more about duty than being genuinely cared for. It doesn’t mean he was happy even if his parents were proud of him for it.

I believe the reason fans create headcanons for characters like Draco and Regulus, imagining that they joined the Death Eaters due to torture or coercion, is because they don’t have a clear understanding of Voldemort's position within the pure-blood society. They assume that from the beginning, Voldemort was seen as a snake-like, crazed terrorist and murderer by the wizarding world.

But as I’ve explained in this post, Voldemort, especially during the First Wizarding War, was a charismatic and influential leader, almost like a celebrity. He rose to power with promises of restoring greatness to the wizarding world, and as mentioned in the books, much of the wizarding society supported him. For many, especially the youth, joining the Death Eaters wasn’t seen as shameful or horrifying. On the contrary, it was exciting and prestigious, like getting accepted into an elite university.

Regarding your argument, I think fans are free to create their own theories and headcanons about their favorite characters. However, it's important to remember that these are just fan interpretations, not canon. It doesn’t make sense to compare fan-made headcanons with the canon traits of another character like snape. We could create similar headcanons for any character. For instance, we could speculate that Harry Potter suffered sexual abuse from his uncle, or that Percy Weasley was the result of an unwanted pregnancy, which is why Molly never seemed to favor him. But in the end, what truly matters in analyzing canon characters is the author's intent and the clues provided in the actual story. This is especially important when discussing side characters like Regulus Black, where we have fewer details. We need to focus on the purpose the author had in creating the character and the information given in the story.

J.K. Rowling didn’t intend for Regulus Black to be a victim of abuse or neglect. She didn’t suggest that he joined the Death Eaters because his mother tortured him with the Cruciatus Curse. If that had been the case, Rowling would have left clear hints throughout the seven books. But that’s not the story she wanted to tell. Instead, she portrayed Regulus as the favored son of a fanatical pure-blood family, loved and admired by his parents, to the point that it made his older brother jealous. She wanted to show how deeply Voldemort’s ideology had permeated wizarding society, to the extent that young people idolized him like a celebrity. The fact that Regulus willingly offered his house-elf to Voldemort for a dangerous mission tells us a lot. It shows how much Voldemort trusted him and how far Regulus was willing to go to prove his loyalty. But as Rowling mentioned in interviews, Regulus wasn’t ready for the harsh reality of the Death Eaters’ world. He quickly realized that the real Voldemort was far from the idealized image he had in his mind. At that moment, Regulus transformed from a misguided teenager into a brave man, trying to make amends for his mistake by sacrificing his life.

Reducing his story to that of an abused teenager takes away the depth of his character and diminishes the impact of his redemption arc.

Eyes That Held the Truth:

The green eyes found the black, but after a second, something in the depths of the dark pair seemed to vanish, leaving them fixed, blank, and empty. The hand holding Harry thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more.

I hadn’t revisited Snape’s death scene in the book for a long time, but recently, I stumbled upon the lines describing his final moments in a post, and something struck me something I had never noticed before: Snape dies with his eyes open.

Given how central his eyes have always been in shaping our perception of him, I began to wonder if there was a deeper meaning behind this detail. Could his open eyes in death carry a message of their own? Here are a few thoughts that came to me:

1. A Search for Redemption:

The fact that Snape dies with his eyes still open might suggest that, even in his final breath, he was still searching — for redemption, for forgiveness. He spent his entire life trying to atone for past mistakes, but he never truly found that closure. He never heard Harry forgive him, and his sacrifices went largely unnoticed. His open eyes could be a sign that he dies with some things left unfinished, especially when it comes to being at peace with himself.

2. The Eyes as a Mirror to the Soul:

We’ve all heard the saying that “the eyes are the window to the soul,” and in Snape’s case, this feels especially true. In life, his eyes were filled with depth and secrets, but in the moment of his death, they become “blank and empty.” It’s as though everything that made Snape who he was the pain, the complexity, the hidden truths — vanished in an instant. His soul, once so guarded, has left, and all that’s left behind is a body, an empty vessel.

3. Unfinished Love:

Snape’s final moments, staring into Harry’s green eyes, feel like a tragic symbol of his undying love for Lily. Those green eyes — the very ones Harry inherited from his mother are the last thing Snape sees. It’s as if he’s holding onto that connection, even in death, unable to “close” the chapter of his life that revolved around her. His eyes remaining open suggests that, emotionally, he never found closure. Even in death, his heart still longs for her.

4. Harry’s Role in Snape’s Life:

It’s significant that Snape dies looking at Harry. Harry represents so many things for Snape — both his deepest pain, as the son of James, and his chance at redemption, as the child of Lily. In many ways, Harry is the center of Snape’s story. His open eyes, fixed on Harry, reflect the complicated emotions Snape felt toward him. Even in death, Snape is still connected to Harry, unable to fully let go of all the feelings he carried for him. He remains fixated on Harry even after death, just as his eyes had been for the past 19 years, always watching over him, always saving him.

5. A Final Moment of Truth:

Throughout his life, Snape was a master of concealment, always hiding his true emotions, always playing his cards close to his chest. But in death, with his eyes wide open, there is no more hiding, there’s no more control. His eyes are wide open, leaving him vulnerable and exposed. his final act stripped of all the secrecy and control he held onto so tightly. His open eyes are like the truth revealed at last — nothing left to conceal, nothing left to protect. It’s a moment of raw honesty, where his story can finally be understood.

Severus Snape as a father?

So I’ve been talking with one of my HP friends and he brings up this scenario.

-Severus Snape as a father.

Now, to be honest, I can’t really see Severus as a dad. Maybe he had imagined such a scenario with Lily, and it would have probably come true if Lily and Severus had ended up together. But then when I look at Severus’s own dad, Tobias. Him being neglectful, angry and might have even physically abused both his wife and son. His parents fighting often. So he didn’t have the happiest of childhoods. And is one of the many reasons that caused the bitterness that is Severus Snape. So concluding that, I don’t see Severus Snape being a father. But that doesn’t mean that he would be a bad one, I would like to imagine him becoming the type of father that he would have wanted to have himself. Being the father he never had, being supportive of his child’s magical abilities, trying to not raise their voice at them. Providing them with everything they needed, because with his salary I imagine he could easily do that. And we don’t really see or hear anything about how he spends his salary. He still lives in his childhood home in Cokeworth. And still affords to feed himself and clothe himself, which is evidenced by the black robes he wears. (I really like the pointed toe shoes he wears tho, like real fancy).

Imagine a world where Voldemort wasn’t a thing, and everything was peaceful.

So if Lily and Severus had come together, Severus would be overjoyed. He would have asked her to marry him, and maybe at some point had a child together. Severus would have moved into a different place with her, not having much reason to stick around Cokeworth, and rather having a fresh place for a new start. Lily, I think would be the person who would have brought up the subject of having a child with Severus, and Severus wouldn’t object to Lily’s desire. Eventually getting her pregnant. Now during a pregnancy I believe Severus would be stern with Lily, thinking of the safety of their child. Trying to forbid her to use any stairs or anything that could be potentially dangerous. Lily of course trying to reassure him that everything will be fine. Severus would definitely be over protective. Having loved Lily for so many years and then finally them coming together would definitely come with over protectiveness. After 9 months of constant ‘’Be careful Lily’’ and ‘’Let me do it! You might harm yourself and the child’’ the baby is born, boy or girl I don’t really know. Severus would be fascinated by the fact that the child resembles him strongly, assuming the child would be born with black hair. He would definitely feel proud of not only himself but of Lily, for all the hard work she put into this pregnancy. But I don’t think Severus would want more than just one child. At first he wouldn’t really know how to interact with the baby until Lily guides him on how to do so, teaching him how to correctly hold the baby and such. And Severus squirming away from diaper changes and baby puke lol. I’m not sure about Severus being someone to hold their child unless wanted and or needed. As the child grows and starts exhibiting magic, Severus would be relieved to know that his child is a witch or wizard. He would most likely had started educating them in magic before their letter to Hogwarts even came. I think Severus would have a tiny problem containing his anger when the child did something that wasn’t allowed, but didn’t yell, mentally and or physically harm the child in any way. He would realize that a part of his father may have imprinted into his own head and he tries even harder to be a good dad. 

(So on the whole ‘just because I was raised by an a-hole doesn’t mean I’ll be one myself’ it’s a thing that has happened to so many people around the globe, but it doesn’t mean that it happens to everybody. People that have crap parents often turn out to be amazing people. My fathers father was quite cheap with his money and had a hard time being loving around my father and therefore often pushed him away whenever my dad needed something from him, and in turn my father became the same way around me, it’s a crap example I know. But it affected my life in a way where I thought my dad never wanted me or even loved me, and I had to tell him this, which broke his heart, because he did indeed love me, he just wasn’t sure on how to show that, so I eventually became the same way, I’m not sure on how to show my family that I love them, so I don’t really, except my mother. I hug my mother, like a lot, cause like she’s a champ, she deserves like a whole spa week every week!)

Severus would maybe teach potions at Hogwarts, not quite sure about that. Since people say he only really got the position from Dumbledore after he joined his side. So maybe he would still teach potions there, his child would show a lot of promise in different subjects and he would feel proud. He would have had a difficult time in how to show them that he loved and cared for them, but eventually would get over that obstacle, he doesn’t say it willy nilly, but he means it every time he does. The child highly appreciates this, and in turn tells him that they love him too. This would sting Severus in the heart, but in a good way. Having his own child say that they loved him. Let alone him telling the child that he loved them. Something that never would have happened in his life as a child. The child might be curious about their grandparents, and Lily would freely divulge on how her own parents were, even visiting them and them getting to know the child and such. But Severus would be very reluctant on sharing  the story of his parents. And would rather not discuss it, telling the child that he had a hard time dealing with them, and would rather not bring them up. Lily comforts Severus on this and helps him tell their child about it’s paternal grandparents. In turn the child just hugs it’s father and tells him that everything is okay because he’s got Lily and the child itself. Which would make Severus feel better about everything. I would like to believe that Severus would eventually just sort of forget his own home life after raising his child with Lily for so many years, maybe they had a second one, who knows. And Severus would actually smile more often than he allows. Severus would be genuinely happy, and not afraid to show off the fact that he is happy. Minerva would definitely come over for tea. 

This is just how I would imagine dad Severus being like. I would love to see what other people think dad Severus would be like.

To be honest, I don’t believe Severus could ever father a child that wasn’t Lily’s. No one really knows what he did with his time in between Lily’s death and his own. But I doubt he sought the company of other women, Lily being the only important woman in his life. Forever mourning her loss and such. So writing this made me a little sad. I would love to read fanfictions about stuff like this. I read once a small story about Severus and the mirror of Erised, and it almost destroyed my tear ducts, cause we all know what he would see in that mirror. Not only would he see Lily, but I believe he might have seen his own family in a happier reality, where is father actually loved and cared for him. 

If I were to stand in the mirror of Erised, I normally would say that I see nothing but myself, but realistically. I would probably see my own father telling me that he loved me. Or that he was proud of me for something. I would probably be surrounded by friends, popular, beautiful. And all that sentimental stuff. But in recent years I’ve come to terms with myself, the fact that I’ll forever only have a couple of trusted friends, which is more than enough for me. That my dad will always have trouble articulating himself, and that I will always look the same. So if I were to look into the mirror today, I would see nothing. I would love to see other people talk about Severus Snape as someones dad. What his life would have been like had he and Lily gotten together.