Lets Dine With The Fine Batman X Gn!Detective!reader

Lets Dine With The Fine Batman x gn!Detective!reader

summary: you’ve been invited over for dinner as a thank you from the Wayne family. Things get a little heated between you and Bruce and not in the sexy way.

You couldn’t believe you were here again.

Wayne Manor, for dinner this time. After the chaos at the gala, you’d hoped to avoid another encounter with Gotham’s elite for a good while. But when Bruce Wayne himself extended an invitation, insisting it was to thank you for your “bravery” during the robbery, it was hard to refuse without raising suspicion.

Not like you could refuse either way. It’s Bruce Wayne.

So here you were, standing awkwardly in the grand foyer once more, waiting to be led to the dining room. The suit you wore this time was slightly more comfortable, thanks to a last-minute alteration. Still, the formality of it all made your skin itch. You were a detective, not a socialite.

“Detective [Y/n],” Alfred greeted you warmly as he appeared from one of the side halls. “Mr. Wayne is expecting you. If you’d follow me, please.”

You nodded, mumbling a quick “Thank you,” before following the butler. Your eyes scanned the lavish surroundings—once again, you felt out of place among the wealth and opulence. The smell of polished wood and expensive cologne filled the air, mixing with the faint aroma of a gourmet dinner being prepared in the kitchen.

The place was large but you felt comfortable around Alfred.

As you entered the dining room, you were greeted by the sight of Bruce Wayne and his adopted sons already seated around the large, ornate table.

…

Of course dinner was with the kids.

(But it felt intimate)

Was this appropriate? To interrupt their dinner because Bruce invited you. You hoped he didn’t do this often. The atmosphere seemed warm, relaxed even, but there was an undercurrent of something more… alert. The way they watched you, as if assessing, made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“Detective,” Bruce said with a smile, rising from his seat to greet you. His handshake was firm, his demeanor as charming as ever. His fingers felt rough.

Not what you expected for a billionaire playboy.

“I’m glad you could join us.”

“Thanks for the invitation, Mr. Wayne,” you replied, doing your best to sound polite.

“Please, call me Bruce.”

You nodded, feeling a little more at ease as you took the seat offered to you. The boys greeted you with varying levels of enthusiasm—Dick with his usual friendliness, Tim with a polite nod and the smallest of all smiles, Damian with what was perhaps poorly hidden disgust or neutral (you couldn’t tell.) And Jason… with a mischievous grin and a slight wink. It was clear Jason was the most relaxed of the group, a stark contrast to the tense environment you had expected.

Or maybe Dick was.

Either way the boys seemed to be up to something.

Dinner began without much fanfare. The conversation was light, touching on safe topics—Gotham’s latest charitable events, the rebuilding of the areas affected by the gala attack, the state of the city in general.

But you couldn’t keep your mind off the events of that night. The way Nightwing and Red Hood had shown up out of nowhere, the strange behavior of Bruce, and the constant presence of Batman near the Waynes.

Halfway through the meal, you couldn’t hold back any longer. You decided to voice what had been on your mind.

“So,” you started, trying to sound casual as you sliced into your steak, “I noticed something the other night… at the gala.”

Four pairs of eyes, plus Bruce’s, snapped to you.

“Really? What did you notice, Detective?” Bruce asked smoothly, though you didn’t miss the slight tension in his voice.

You leaned forward slightly, lowering your voice as if sharing a secret. “It’s just… does Batman often show up around you guys? I mean, Nightwing was there too, and Red Hood. It seemed like they were… protecting you. Or watching you.”

The boys exchanged glances—ones that were almost imperceptible to anyone not trained to see them. A flash of surprise in Damian’s eyes, a flicker of something that looked suspiciously like panic in Tim’s, Jason avoided eye contact, and Dick’s usually easygoing expression tightening just a bit.

Bruce was the first to recover, letting out a low chuckle. “Batman and his allies? Protecting us? That’s an interesting observation.”

“Interesting, but not far from the truth, Bruce,” you pressed, feeling a sense of urgency to convey what you’d been mulling over since that night. “Think about it—Gotham’s most notorious vigilante, plus his sidekicks, showing up at events you’re attending, then escorting you out like it’s nothing. It’s like they’re keeping tabs on you.”

“It’s creepy, no?”

“You think Batman is keeping tabs on us?” Jason asked, his tone half-amused, half-curious.

“Exactly,” you replied, nodding. “And maybe you all too. I mean, you’ve got to admit it’s strange how he always seems to be around.”

The room fell silent, the boys exchanging more significant glances this time. It was clear they were trying to hold back their reactions. Finally, Bruce broke the silence.

“Detective, Batman’s presence is part of the job,” Bruce said smoothly. “We’ve learned to live with it.”

“You’ve learned to live with it?” you repeated, your frustration rising. “He’s constantly around you. It seems like he’s all over you.”

“And that’s a good thing, right?” Bruce said, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. “Gotham needs its protectors.”

Your frustration boiled over. “Look, I care about your health and safety. I’m just trying to make sure you’re aware of the risks. I mean, what if something happens and—”

Bruce cut you off with a raised hand. “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve got it covered.”

“He could be a stalker.” You snapped harshly before breathing slowly.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like it from where I’m standing,” you shot back, unable to keep the edge out of your voice. “You’re acting like it’s all just business as usual.”

“Because it is,” Bruce said, his tone firm. “I handle it. I’m used to it.”

“Jerk,” you muttered under your breath, crossing your arms.

The boys exchanged knowing looks. Dick’s lips twitched into a smile, Tim tried to stifle a chuckle, Damian’s eyes held a hint of amusement, and Jason seemed to be barely containing his laughter.

Alfred, who had been standing quietly by the side, cleared his throat. “Perhaps it’s best if we focus on enjoying the evening. Detective [Y/n], I assure you, Mr. Wayne is more than capable of handling his affairs.”

You shot Bruce a final frustrated glance. “Fine. But if something happens, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Bruce’s smile widened slightly. “Understood. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

As Alfred began to clear the plates, you remembered something you’d brought with you. You reached into your jacket and pulled out a small, carefully wrapped package.

“Actually, Alfred,” you began, your tone shifting as you slid the box across the table toward him, “I brought something for you.”

Alfred looked at the package with mild surprise. “For me?”

You nodded. “It’s not much, just a little something to say thank you. For everything.”

Alfred’s eyes softened as he unwrapped the box, revealing a set of finely crafted cufflinks. “This is quite exquisite” he said, his voice filled with genuine gratitude. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to,” you insisted, feeling slightly self-conscious under everyone’s gaze. “After all, it’s you who has served me my food, cooked it, and hosted this.”

You gave a side eye. “I assume Mr. Wayne did his part too.”

“I said, call me Bruce.”

“Hmph.”

Alfred’s lips curved into a rare, genuine smile as he nodded. “I’m deeply touched. Thank you.”

The mood in the room shifted, with the boys exchanging amused glances. Even Damian seemed to crack a slight smile.

God, you weren’t aware that child could make a face like that around you.

“That was very thoughtful of you,” Bruce said, his tone warming as he regarded you. “Alfred doesn’t often receive gifts.”

Jason leaned back in his chair, a smirk playing on his lips. “Yeah, Alfred’s last gift was Damian’s disastrous attempt at breakfast last Christmas.”

“That was one time,” Damian grumbled, glaring at Jason. “And I was eight.”

The playful banter eased the earlier tension, and the conversation turned to lighter topics. The feeling in your belly bloomed quickly, like a fire.

As the evening drew to a close, you found yourself unexpectedly enjoying the company. The Waynes were more than just a wealthy family—they were a quirky, tight-knit group, and it was oddly comforting to be included in their dynamic.

When it was time to leave, Bruce walked you to the door. You decided to speak with him.

“Mr.Way— Bruce. Apologies for uh getting a little heated back there. I’m not the most..” you rubbed your nape shyly. “Social.”

“Detective [Y/n],” he began, his voice sincere, “You are always welcomed. I understand your concern but I ask that you trust in me. but I appreciate you coming. You’ll be back sometime right? Maybe for movie or a game of pool?”

You blinked, taken aback by the admission. “It’s alright, Bruce. I get that you have your own way of doing things. Pool sounds nice.”

Bruce offered you a small, almost apologetic smile before turning to Alfred, who was still holding the box you’d given him.

The bid you farewell as you went into your taxi.

As you stepped out into the cool Gotham night, your thoughts were a calm. The evening had been an unexpected experience but you were satisfied.

Now, you planned on scheduling a meeting with the vigilante himself, Batman.

a/n: if u rlly want I’ll do a part 3. Also it’s late af so sorry if it’s not like KAPOOM or smth. G’noght :3

thoughts on saitama with an airhead lover?

um fucking awesome 🗣️🗣️🚨 omg I need more opm content!! Forgive me if this was not what u wanted 🗣️☝️ but I love comedy

PERMANENT IMPRESSIONS | Saitama x Gn!Airhead!Reader

Saitama stretched lazily on the couch, flipping through channels with a disinterested expression. His usual routine of hero work and mundane errands had left him feeling particularly bored today. Just as he was about to settle on a nature documentary, the front door swung open, and his lover, You bounded in with an exuberant grin.

“Saitama! Guess what I did today!” You exclaimed, bouncing on your toes.

Saitama raised an eyebrow, already bracing himself for whatever unpredictable adventure you had embarked on this time. “What did you do?”

You rolled up your sleeve to reveal a fresh tattoo of a mosquito on your forearm. Saitama’s eyes widened slightly as he took in the detailed design.

“A mosquito?” he asked, puzzled.

“Yeah! I got it to spite you,” You said proudly. “Remember that one mosquito you couldn’t kill? Well, now you have to look at it every day!”

Saitama sighed deeply, shaking his head. “You really went and got a tattoo of a mosquito just for that?”

“Absolutely,” they replied, beaming. “Isn’t it hilarious?”

Saitama rubbed his temples. “You do realize tattoos are permanent, right?”

You shrugged, unfazed. “Yeah, but it’s funny. Plus, it’s just one little tattoo.”

The next day, Saitama came home to find you with yet another new tattoo. This time, it was an intricate design of a robot on their upper arm.

“Let me guess,” Saitama said, dropping his grocery bags on the counter. “You got that because you think Genos is cool?”

“Exactly!” You said, eyes sparkling with excitement. “He’s so awesome with all his gadgets and stuff. I wanted to honor that.”

Saitama sighed, feeling a mix of amusement and exasperation. “You know you don’t need to get tattoos to show admiration, right?”

“But it looks so cool!” you protested, flexing your arm to show off the robot.

Days later, Saitama was unsurprised but still slightly dismayed when you revealed yet another new addition. This time, it was a large cross on your back.

“Why a cross?” Saitama asked, genuinely curious.

“It looks badass, doesn’t it?” you said, twirling to give him a full view. “I saw this design in a magazine and thought it would make me look tough.”

Saitama nodded slowly. “I guess it does look pretty cool. But are you sure you’re not going overboard with these tattoos?”

“No way!” You replied confidently. “I’m just getting started.”

A week later, Saitama walked into the living room to find you looking unusually sheepish.

“Saitama,” they began hesitantly, “I… might have made a mistake this time.”

Saitama raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. “What happened?”

With a deep breath, you rolled up their sleeve to reveal a small, crude tattoo of a penis on your arm.

Saitama stared at it for a moment before bursting into laughter. “What in the world were you thinking?”

“I didn’t notice it when the artist was showing me the design,” you admitted, cheeks burning with embarrassment. “I thought it was just a random doodle.”

Saitama wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. “You really need to start paying more attention before getting these done.”

“I know, I know,” they groaned. “I’m going to get it covered up as soon as possible.”

Saitama’s laughter died down, and he placed a reassuring hand on their shoulder. “You know, despite all the crazy things you do, I still love you.”

You looked up at him, their embarrassment fading. “Really?”

“Really,” Saitama confirmed with a smile. “But seriously, no more impulse tattoos.”

They nodded earnestly. “Okay, okay, lesson learned. No more impulse tattoos.”

“Yup.”

“But, what about an egg on my butt for a tattoo?”

“[Name].”

Can You Not?

Deadpool x Gn!Reader x Wolverine

summary: You’re supposed to be Althea’s caretaker ever since Wade hired you. Too bad for everyone because you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed.

“Well, it’s you and me, Al.” You put a hand on your waist.

“Hell no.” She responded.

“Yeah, I'm really glad Wade and Logan hired me but…” Rubbing the back of your head. “I’ve never done this kind of stuff.”

“Just don’t kill me.”

Your jaw hung low.

—

The first thing Deadpool and Wolverine noticed when they entered their home was the unmistakable sound of something large and metallic clanging against porcelain. The scene that greeted them was something neither of them had ever expected.

Deadpool, ever the optimist, rubbed his hands together with a mischievous grin. “Looks like someone’s having a bit of a rough day.”

Logan, ever the pragmatist, simply sighed and tried to make sense of the chaos. He followed Deadpool’s lead, heading towards the source of the noise. They found you stuck halfway inside the oven, with only your legs and feet visible as you frantically wiggled to get free.

It was a sight to behold.

“Uh, hey there, sugarplum. Need a hand?” Deadpool asked, struggling to suppress his laughter.

You looked up with wide, confused eyes, somehow managing a smile despite the awkward predicament. “Oh, hey! I was trying to get the… uh, cookies out, but I think they might’ve… escaped?”

Logan shook his head, muttering something under his breath as he approached and tried to pull you out. “Why on earth were you in the oven? What’s going on?”

“Well, I thought I’d give baking a shot, but then I… um, forgot the timer. And now it’s… well, sort of an oven mess.”

“Help me?” You asked sweetly.

The two shared a look and Wade rolled his sleeve up.

“Maximum effort.”

His grip on your legs was harsh and he really did try to pull you out. It sucked that your hair was stuck on a piece of the oven.

“AH— wait.”

Wade side eyed Logan. “A little help, peanut?”

Logan groaned, ripping you out from the oven.

You stumbled out with a sheepish grin. “Thanks.”

Deadpool peered inside the oven and groaned. “You’ve got a burnt lasagna in there and—are those… marshmallows?”

“Yeah, those were supposed to be for s’mores. I got a bit distracted.”

Logan’s brow furrowed as he examined the kitchen. “This place looks like a disaster zone.”

You nodded vigorously. “Oh, it’s been a bit of a day. I think I might’ve accidentally blown up the toilet earlier, too.”

Deadpool looked alarmed. “What do you mean, ‘blew up the toilet’?”

“Well, I was trying to clean it and used way too much cleaner and we ordered taco be—” You started to explain before being interrupted by a loud whoosh from the bathroom.

Logan, facepalming, grumbled, “What now?”

You shuffled over to the bathroom to reveal a very unhappy, very dirty toilet and a cloud of cleaner fumes that were just thrown in there. The scene was nothing short of disastrous. “Oops,” you mumbled.

“I think we’ve seen enough for today,” Deadpool said, trying to regain his composure. “Maybe we should help Al and then figure out how to get you out of trouble.”

You were just about to agree when the sound of wood splintering from the bedroom caught their attention. Deadpool and Logan rushed to find the bed in ruins, you sitting amid the wreckage with a distressed look on your face.

“I was just trying to fix the bed,” you explained, “but I might’ve used the wrong tools and, uh, now there’s a lot of splinters.”

“And broken bed.”

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle despite himself. “You know, it’s impressive how you manage to get into so much trouble with the simplest of tasks.”

Deadpool, ever the same, added, “You should really consider writing a memoir or something. ‘How to fuck everything, 101.”

“Probably. That’s what my mother always used to say.”

“Don’t compare me to your mother! I am your love interest in this. Call Logan your mommy instead.”

“Don’t.”

You gave a salute. “Got it, boss.”

Just as they were starting to clean up the mess, you decided to help with the repairs. You grabbed a nearby broom to sweep up the splinters, but in your enthusiasm, you tripped over a mug on the floor, sending it crashing to the ground.

“Oops!” you exclaimed, stumbling and accidentally knocking a cup of coffee into Wolverine’s lap. Now it looked like if he problems with peeing because it seemed like brown piss.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry, Logan! Maybe, you can borrow my pants?”

Logan growled, and before he could react, a puff of smoke billowed from the nearby fireplace. You had unwittingly knocked a can of lighter fluid onto the logs, and now Wolverine was on fire!

He still looked hot though. Maybe even hotter since he was on fire!

“Wait, is that… oh crap!” Deadpool shouted, rushing over with a towel to smother the flames. “Not the flaming Wolverine!”

Logan rolled his eyes, trying to pat out the fire while glaring at you. “Seriously? You set me on fire, bub?”

“You’re alright now!” Deadpool said, grinning despite the chaos. “Let’s just move on to…”

Before Deadpool could finish, you tripped over the broom you’d been using, falling face-first into a potted plant. Dirt and leaves covered you as you lay there, looking completely bewildered.

You blinked once and then twice.

“I, uh, think I might’ve made things worse,” you said, emerging from the mess with a dirt-streaked face.

Logan sighed deeply but a small smile stayed on his face. “It’s like every time we turn around, you find a new way to cause trouble.”

Deadpool tried to stifle his laughter, though he was clearly failing. “You’re like a red flag at this point!”

“So are you though?” You spoke.

Logan snorted.

After hours of cleaning up and attempting to salvage what they could, Deadpool and Logan finally managed to get everything back in order. Blind Al, who had been observing the entire spectacle with a mix of amusement and exasperation, shook her head as she sipped her tea.

“Thanks for the help,” Al said dryly. “And for not setting the house on fire.”

You, still covered in a mixture of dirt and embarrassment, nodded. “I’ll try to be less of a disaster next time.”

Deadpool clapped you on the back. “It’s all part of the adventure. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Condoms, hopefully.”

Logan, though exhausted, managed a small smile. “Here’s hoping it’s a bit less eventful.”

“So, I come here tomorrow too?”

“No you’re fired.”

“damn.”

a/n: me writing for the both of them bc I don’t find any for this 😭🙏🙏🙏 where r the chefs cooking?

to all my mutually suddenly receiving asks, I apologize. I have no other way of saying “OMG I WASNNA SAY SMTH” without being dramatic about it.

anyways time to draw old men

😭🫶 thank u queen!!! I love giving that male reader content :3

Any male reader recommendations on quotev or wattpad? I see you started one male reader fic and I am in need of more to satiate my thirst 😫😫 any fandom (even yandere) is fine 💕

LOL, I HAVE TWO MALE READER FICS AS OF NOW. Game Over! & Lovebombing:33, and 3 more to come, probably!

AHHHH MY RECOMMENDATIONS R MY LOVELY MOOTS! THEY’RE REALLY GOOD AT WRITING AND IT’S SO ENTERTAINING AND BRAINROT-WORTHY🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

PREPARE FOR A YAPPING SESSION!

@kagurasama-notes (Quotev & Wattpad), ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORSSS, her writing puts me to shame with how good it is frr, i’m telling you, her book corpse darling gave me a literal brainrot. SHE’S SO LOVELY ASWELL AS HER BOOKS, I LOVE HER & HER BOOKS SM<333 SHE’S THE ONE WHO INSPIRED ME TO WRITE MALE READER BOOKS! Every twist and turn keeps me on the edge, and I can’t help but think, “How does she even come up with this stuff” AKSKSKJXJJXS MY #1 RECOMMENDATION!🫶🏻🥹

@dilvei (both on quotev and wattpad) i’m inlove with idrisssss, dilvei’s really good at writing and her writing style is just so yummyyyy, dilvei has loads of male reader stories, and her dragon x male reader is jsttt chef’s kiss, idris literally has me on a choke-hold. Dilvei is serving a 5star meal with her books!:33🫶🏻

@dinodaweeb (quotev) THEY’RE A REALLY GOOD WRITER & THEIR BOOKS AND ONESHOTS R FIREEE, M’TOTALLY INLOVE W THEIR FIC “EAT OR BE EATEN”, THEIR WRITING IS ON TOPPPP

@airenxys / @aerusraemin his writing is saurr good and the plots and the dialogues on his fics is so good and is literally so entertaining, his writing style is really pretty & i wanna cryyyy I literally adore him and his ficsss, his fic “crimson tryst” w yandere!yoriichi HAS ME TOTALLY HOOKED. HE’S MY CO-AUTHOR ON GAME OVER:3

Airovesterism (Quotev) HIS WRITING IS SO PRETTY, AND HIS BOOK ASSASSINATE (Quotev) & Till the water turns red (Ao3) IS SO GOOD, I’M INLOVE WITH HIS MC’S🫶🏻🫶🏻 his writing style is an eye-candy

D1v1n (Quotev) HER STORIES R FIREEE, I LOVE HER WRITING STYLE, IT’S SO GORG I SWEARRRRR, I WANNA CRYYYY. I LOVE HR AND HER BOOKSSS

ANYWAYSS, THAT’S ALL SJKSKSJS, i don’t rlly read that much so i don’t have much of recommendations since yk, i rarely read and sometimes get lazy in the middle of reading and just drop it😭😭 BUT YEAH, THAT’S ALL:3 i was gonna recommend my pookies but they’re on ao3😭😭 buttt, if you want ‘em ao3 writers that write for male readers, hereee! @terrorbladewho, (the original author of lovebombing) @keegan, & Oracledust.

me awakening the beast (geek) in me bc I remembered he existed:

wahhh time to rewatch movies, catch up on lore, binge shows, play with legos, and draw him (yay!!) and read fanfics!! :3