This Moment. This Face. This Is When I Fell Unconditionally And Irrevocably In Love With Blitzo. He Is

This moment. This face. This is when I fell unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Blitzo. He is the worst employer ever, but wow, wow, I love this character and his dumb face and his dumb brain and his dumb lines and just. He's great. "Daddy likey dummy!" Like?? He said that and I lost it and am now eternally in love with this show.

When Lucifer's grin took on that sharper edge, his eyes a more dangerous glint, Blitzo stepped closer. Because, you know, he was smart that way. Lucifer was magnetic, and while Blitzo usually had a pretty healthy desire to keep himself at least relatively safe, was there even any point in trying to resist this guy? Lucifer was their king. The very damned reason any of them even existed. And he was hot--that grip of his, that promise that he could crush Blitzo like an eggshell and not even notice, that was nice. It all added up to a problem Blitzo was going to try and ignore... but then again, he'd never claimed to be anything but thirsty trash.

This guy was the bee's knees--

So why did he seem awkward, maybe even a little bit ashamed, about this passion project? He was literally carrying the rubber ducky around with him. There was no way he didn't love that little thing. It was great! A rubber duck that spat aside? Talk about chaos in a cute, compact little bundle. Blitzo started to grin one of his more devilish, delighted little grins, before a sadder thought crossed his mind.

Why?

Why was Lucifer doing this? And why was he just out on the street alone? Why wasn't this guy surrounded in adoring fans, letting them stoke his pride?

"I'll trade you," he offered, and pulled out a little horse figurine. Just plastic, no acid or flames about it, and he loved the damn thing. But fuck, Lucifer seemed like he really needed attention, and sharing toys, making trades, that was a good way to start a friendship, right? A friendship doomed to fail, Blitzo thought, knowing his own propensity for self-destruction, but damn it, he wanted to try. So, he held the horse out on his palm, meeting Lucifer's eyes with a surprising (for him) amount of sincerity in his own. "You know. If you want. I kind of love horses. But that duck? Now that is cool."

Lucifer was ever entertained by their entire interaction so far, the grin on his face maybe just a tad sinister than before but it was still inviting more or less.

He'd never heard of Blitzo, though he was actually excited to get to know him, possibly make a friend that wasn't someone his daughter thought he'd get along with.

"So glad to meet you too! And no need to ever be formal with me either, Lucifer is just fine." He winked shaking Blitzo's hand, even though he was small he had one hell of a grip.

"I do have something!" His eyes lit up but then his expression changed for a split second to embarrassment. There was so way he was going to tell someone he's trying to impress about his fire breathing rubber duckies. Playing it off like something else crossed his mind.

"I uh am sorta helping my daughter with her hotel but that's for another time.." Now he was the one getting a little nervous before letting out a sigh. "I'll be honest, i'm just a little rusty when it comes to random torture." drumming his fingers on his hip as he spoke. "I make these.." pulling off his hat Lucifer pulled out a very deranged looking rubber duck that when squeezed shot out acid. "They'd work great for weapons if anyone would use em."

"Be myself. Right. I don't know if you've noticed, Fizz, but myself? Kind of sucks." Blitz sighed and ran a hand over one of his horns, then shoved both hands into his pockets instead, not wanting to look so insecure.

"Thanks, though. I mean it. You're a good friend, and this talk... it means a lot. But hey, enough about my mopey bullshit." He would probably spontaneously combust if they stayed focused on his emotions anymore, so why not turn the focus onto Fizz? "What comes next for you and Ozzy? Like--you two already live together, right? You going to get married? Adopt a kid? All of... all of that?" Blitzo searched his sweet friend's precious face. "Cause I uh, I could see you two being pretty good parents. Loving. Really loving. Some lucky kid whose parents are gone.. they'd be winning the jackpot to get you two."

It's not like Fizz didn't want to be part of the conversation. It's just he hasn't been part of anything this messy in a long time. If anything Fizz really wanted to work things out with Blitz, for all times sake. For all the lost time sake. They did manage to talk a little bit back at the warehouse while dodging all the bad guys but there was still so much left to be said. But it gave a foundation for them to talk and start building everything up again.

Fizz was listening when Blitz finally spoke up, fixing his gaze at the other imp. The words hurt, Fizz could feel them slashing him internally. The think of Blitz even thinking he wouldn't deserve to be in Fizz's life was ridiculous. Not that he wasn't proud of being the most well known person in all across Hell, but he was still a humble imp who didn't think so all mighty of himself. Slowly he unwrapped his tail wile looking at Blitz with sad and concerned expression on his face. He took few steps closer.

"I have no idea where's you even come up with all that. If it was for me you'd have been in my life the whole time. Like I get you, the feeling is mutual. You were the only person who actually cared about me and having you in my life was the best thing ever!" Fizz wanted to just charge at Blitz and hug him. But he fought back for now. "We all fuck up, this is hell. If anyone is living a life without fucking something up they shouldn't be here. But we already talked about this. It was an accident, you didn't do it on purpose. Can you please, please just cut yourself some slack there. I'm not mad at you for what happened, and never will be again" yes he had been carrying the grudge for vain for the past 15 years. He knew Blitz didn't do it on purpose. The people who kept them apart were the ones on Fizz's list of anger. They'll get what they deserve.

"You are already doing it, Blitz. Just talking to me about this issue. Wanting to get things clear between us... I say you are up for a good start" there was a reassuring smile on Fizz's face as he slowly reached out to place hand on Blitz's shoulder. "I don't know why have you been hiding from your friends tho, is there any reasons for that?"

And then Oz was brought up and Fizz was visibly more shy about it. "Well you know, things tend to just happen. I didn't care about him for the first time we met, thanks to Mammon. He became a business partner and slowly I started seeing him in a different way and-.. you know, here we are. You really can't plan these things. Don't really know if I was helping you out with this matter" Fizz scratched his upper arm in awkward manner as he looked at Blitz. A small smile found it's way on the jesters face.

"Just be yourself, okay? I myself like you better this way" not that Fizz didn't like the sassy and smug side of Blitz, oh no he did quite enjoy Blitz all the way he wanted to act. But seeing him opening up with a difficult subject like this, it just warmed the jesters little heart.

headcanon: blitzo loves being picked up

Obviously, if he doesn't like you, he doesn't want to be picked up. But if you're someone he halfway likes or trusts, and you pick him up? He's going to physically curl up like a scruffed kitten, while on the inside he'll relax. He really, really likes it. He doesn't even need to be cradled all tenderly or anything--you can hold him at arm's length and he'll enjoy it.

He might be a little weird, but would anyone expect anything well-adjusted or not weird from him?

(He will not admit this, though. Ever. To anyone).

for @moxxietude, because these two never have misadventures when they head off on missions together, right? they will definitely be fine.

Not Hell--

This wasn't Hell, but it might be the next worst thing. The hit was done, they'd sent some shitbag straight down and earned their pay, but Loona hadn't opened the portal to fetch them home yet. Which was fine. Really. Probably, anyway. Maybe? Definitely fine. Still, this wasn't even a town, much less a city. Cities were great. The denser they were, the dirtier they were, the less anybody ever looked over at a couple of imps slinking along. Nobody cared about gunshots or shouts in dense cities, but here?

This place was awful. They'd had to make the hit look like an accident. Thankfully, the law enforcement officers who were called up bought it, and nobody really seemed that perturbed, but it still rankled the pride. They were assassins, damn it. Not accidents.

Yeah, this place was the worst.

According to the sign, this little cluster of a few dozen cabins and chalets, up on the top of a mountain, was called Paradise Idylls. There were a few dozen RVs all neatly parked together like big fat white parasites, children running around in the bright sunshine. The smell of meat being cheerfully grilled with too much lighter fluid and not enough seasoning, the barking of a few happy dogs, splashes from a little pool...

A tiny mountain resort, high up in the pines, with just one long, winding dirt road leading in or out, probably hours from real civilization. A summer heatwave, a forest dry as tinder.

Back twitching under his jacket, feeling like at any moment someone was going to find them and probably use bear spray on them, Blitzo hunched down next to Moxxie in the relatively cool confines of a Facilities shed. As long as no maintenance crew came, they'd be fine in here. And if they did... Eh, there were some barrels, some tarps. Surely the two of them could hide--or Moxxie could, anyway. He was sneaky as fuck when he needed to be.

"So." He picked up a can of spray paint and started tossing it from hand to hand. "She'll definitely get us out of here any time now. But want to play a game? Truth or Dare, maybe? Kill the next few minutes?"

The next few minutes. As if they hadn't already been here for literal hours, and might be here for hours longer yet.

I really appreciate that even though Blitzo hated the musical Cats!, he still owns a Rum Tum Tugger costume. Presumably this is all for sweet Moxxie and how much they love him. Dammit, I love these precious imps!