Blitzo Headcanons - Tumblr Posts

headcanon: blitzo loves being picked up

Obviously, if he doesn't like you, he doesn't want to be picked up. But if you're someone he halfway likes or trusts, and you pick him up? He's going to physically curl up like a scruffed kitten, while on the inside he'll relax. He really, really likes it. He doesn't even need to be cradled all tenderly or anything--you can hold him at arm's length and he'll enjoy it.

He might be a little weird, but would anyone expect anything well-adjusted or not weird from him?

(He will not admit this, though. Ever. To anyone).

There are a lot of things that Blitz finds attractive about Stolas, but the thing he likes the most is Stolas's voice. When he lets his guard down, or when a day has been too long, and he hears that voice? It's so soothing, nothing compares for him. If Stolas ever sings to him? Blitz will break. Absolutely break.

Blitz treats all of his one-night stands, or one week stands, like they're a lover. That's the reality he doesn't let people see when they're not in bed together; in bed is the only place his walls actually come down, and he lets himself be incredibly affectionate. He loves to praise his partners. He'll do dirty talk if he thinks they want it. He'll do damn near anything he thinks they want.

But what he wants? Is to give affection, both physical and romantic.

Blitz confuses his one night stands, I think, by being really goddamn nice to them in bed, and afterwards. He loves holding them. Snuggling them. Being the big spoon. He treats them like a lover in love...

So when he then doesn't call them a few days later, I don't think anyone can blame them for aching. Blitz mixes every damn message. Treats them like they're all that matters when they're together, and then afterwards, doesn't understand why this one night stand sent him a voice memo where they're obviously crying.

He's starting to figure that out, post Apology Tour. He'll get there.

In terms of time, how much time exactly does Blitz spend stalking the M&Ms? What has he seen? What does he know?

Not much anymore. Earlier on, like an hour a week, easily. But he has come to accept that yes, they really are that in love and that happy, and yes, that's what love is actually supposed to look like: people accepting each other fully, in every way, working through their issues with good communication, always having each other's backs, multiple kinds of passion.

He didn't use to believe it. Blitz had never actually been part of a healthy, loving relationship for very long--not a romantic one, not a platonic one, and not even a familial one. No matter how much he loved his mother, Cash's manipulations tainted his childhood in ways Blitz will never forgive.

What he and Fizzarolli had when they were young comes closest, and Blitz will always be in love with him, but he and Fizz were also always in survival mode. Their home-lives weren't stable. Fizz didn't have any support he could take for granted, which is one of the most important forms generational wealth and a sense of security can take, and Blitz just... well. His father sold him in plenty of ways. Blitz knew he wasn't safe. He absolutely wasn't okay. The two of them loved each other fiercely and had each other's backs, but every day was a new test of survival, a new set of dangers to be worried about. Because they were always in Survival Mode, and the fire ended their relationship so young, they never developed or matured into anything else.

So, real love? In any form? Seeing it in Moxxie and Millie... that was fascinating for a long time. But it wasn't even just that, because there was one more facet to the stalking, something even Blitz knew was unhealthy but couldn't stop, because he was too fucking terrified not to do it:

He needed to protect them. He needed to know they were safe.

He could go for days without checking up on them after work, but eventually, the anxiety would wake up and get too strong, and he'd need to know they were okay, that the world wasn't going to rip them away just because he loves them.

Blitz is extremely wary of alcoholics and drug addicts. The depth of trauma his dad caused him isn't something he can just get over with the snap of his fingers, but it did teach him to worry about those people, and to recognize problems when he sees them.

---[content about addiction and recovery under the cut]---

Blitz cares. He knows full-well that day drinking can be fine and many people can do it in moderation, but that for some, it absolutely isn't fine and isn't something they can control or moderate. For some people, the problem is insurmountable, and they need to get help. And yes, he's afraid of becoming addicted himself. He knows he could, all too easily. But his experience with an alcoholic father is a big part of why he was worried when he pointed out the way Stolas was drinking. He's doesn't want to lose him to alcohol.

Blitz had to fight to help get his sister to go to rehab for drug use, and did the same with Verosika, trying so damn hard to get her to ease up on the drinking, to get her to see that she needed help (and probably still does, at least in the show canon).

He regrets that he screwed Verosika over. I headcanon that he tried to get her to go to rehab and she wasn't interested, so he accepted that and tried to keep going with their relationship as long as he could... until he couldn't. Until she said she loved him, and he broke her heart and ended things in the absolute worst way he possibly could.

He couldn't let himself fall in love with an alcoholic. He wouldn't have survived it and he knows that--and Blitz wants to live.

With his sister, he paid for her rehab as long as he could, as much as he could and worked his ass off to make sure he had enough money to keep that going, to never have to ignore a bill from her facility. She hated him and didn't want anything from him, clearly, but he was her brother: taking care of her, as much as he could, felt like the least he could do, even if she hates him for it. She's alive. She's alive, and so it was worth it. It was all worth it.

Even if she blames him, he still cares. He still feels responsible for helping her. For making sure she is never abandoned.

Because that is one of the ways that addiction hurts the people in the addict's life: they feel responsible. They want to help and they can't. They love them deeply, but can't save them. And speaking as someone who has had painfully close experience with helping people get into rehab... the addict often never forgives them for it for a long, long time. Having an intervention is beautiful in theory, but often damages the relationship for years, until the person in recovery reaches a stage where they are ready to work on that. Where they understand that it wasn't them someone was rejecting, it was the drugs, the alcohol. The lies. The pain. The self-destruction.

Blitz knows this. So no matter how much Barbie Wire hates him now, he knows he can't really talk to her about their childhood yet. He can't have that relationship with her yet. He effectively does not have a sister, and never will, not until she chooses that role again. But, because he knows and understands, he will always be open to her coming back. He'll be happy about it when it happens--if if happens. He may not be able to verbalize his understanding, or be great about talking about his feelings in general, but that doesn't mean they aren't there.

Recovering addicts can sometimes be the most wonderful and inspirational people, but they can also be the most vindictive and cruel during recovery, especially if recovery wasn't their choice and they felt forced or shamed. It's a hard, ugly truth... and Blitz will still hold onto his love for them. He doesn't just stop loving someone, doesn't just stop caring, even if he seems like he does.

So, yes. He was worried about Stolas's drinking. And yes, he's worried about Verosika's. He can't be in a relationship with an alcoholic--for both their sakes. He knows he isn't a stable enough person, and at the same time, he can't bring himself to enable someone's addiction. Not if he loves them. Not if he has ever cared about them. It doesn't mean he doesn't understand the misery that can push someone to need to rely on substance abuse. It doesn't mean he doesn't get it. It means he wants better for them. He wants them to survive. He knows people hate when others have boundaries, addicts especially, and it can be fucking heartbreaking to enforce them... but he will, when it comes to substance abuse. It will break his heart, but he'll do it...

And he will never stop hoping for the people he loves to heal. To recover. To get better. Even if he is a shitty, broken person, he will hold onto hope for them, and try to help them get what help they'll accept.