The Mun Is Presented With An [offering]

The mun is presented with an [offering] 

An Asvine P36 Piston Filling Fountain Pen, with a complimentary bottle of dark crimson "Writer's Blood" Diamine ink.

Listen, Writer's Blood is quite possibly the BEST INK OF ALL TIME. So if anyone is considering trying out a fountain pen? Do it. Do it. Get a cheapie fountain pen and get a bottle of Writer's Blood and indulge in the sweet sweet goodness. It's the only ink I have actually finished multiple bottles of. It's so smooth, it shades beautifully on the right paper, it has a subtle golden sheen sometimes, it looks like blood in the pen but a sweet soft purplish-red (blood with way too much wine in it; ie, writer's blood) on the page, and it is just. so. good! SO GOOD.

It's harder to use with a dip pen because it's just so wet, you need really good paper (Unison brand composition books, made in Vietnam, are AMAZING and affordable), but you can use it with a dip pen too, if you want to feel really extra.

Writer's Blood is amazing and this ask made me smile so much, thank you!

Bend over and think happy thoughts Blitz, it's annual prostate exam time!

"You know my anatomy is pretty different from a human's, right?" Blitz asked, about to argue--before he realized that actually, this was probably going to be a good time. So fuck it, why not? Taking off his belt, he looped it around the neck of the person flirting at him, tugged them close, and purred affectionately into their ear, "You can go first, baby, but I'm going to ruin you when it's my turn."

Messing around with Stolas' grimoire has some unexpected consequences. In a swirl of magicks and ethereal shrieks, Blitzø is transformed into...a birb! Specifically an owl demon like Stolas himself. What's the first thing he does? 

"Aw, fuck me," Blitz swore, standing up straight and looking down at himself. Where the fuck was his tail? His--oh fuck, he still had a tail, it was just--it was--

Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the FUCK?

Covered in feathers, ridiculously tall, he wasn't an imp. He didn't have horns. Glossy black feathers edged with vermillion, a white disc of tiny, tightly-packed feathers for his face, he didn't look like himself at all--but hoooo boy, he could panic like himself.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuckfuckfuck." Fumbling his phone out--oh christ on a fucking stick why was it so small?--he sent a handful of texts.

@moxxietude -> Moxxie I turned in2 a fucking bird WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO

@ you -> PARAK WTF

@botanikos -> Stols i fukked up and have feathers might have ben fucking w ur book I M SORRY CAN YOU PUT ME BACK i lhave a cloaca tho i guess like we cud uknow wait no sorry long text, short question: HELP?

DONE WITH THE INBOX. Did it! All of it! Won't be answering any more tonight, my brain is fried, at least for now, and I think this has been a little too much sitting up, so am going to curl up in bed and get on Discord, at least until this wave of dizziness passes <3 Thank you guys for sticking around as I just poured all of those asks all over the dash!

I decided to try the proper spelling of his name and...

This How Are You in Bed quiz is trying to flatter Blitz... and it's working xD

Has Blitzø ever been tracked down by one of the humans he killed? Vengeful sinners out for revenge? 

He absolutely has, and it usually doesn't go well. Thankfully, most of them don't seem to remember him, or seem particularly inclined to come down to Imp City unless they have a damn good reason. Which, one could argue, revenge against the imp that slaughtered you is... but the traffic's a nightmare, there's nowhere to park, and it's not like he can un-deadify you.

But despite all of that, some of them absolutely come and find him. Blitz does his best to make sure they know it was him, that he is the boss, that Moxxie and Millie were just doing their job. Since they almost never see Loona, she doesn't tend to catch much flak, but Blitz will do whatever it takes to draw attention off of his employees and onto himself, hoping to give them time to get the fuck away. And then? He will fight. Hard. Blitz may not have any powers, but he has experience and the will to fight, and I can tell you from my own real life experience that just having the will and the confidence? Can make all the difference. If you're up against a huge opponent, but that person doesn't really have what it takes to dive in and go hard? You actually stand a pretty good chance if you do. I've been in a few fights irl--previous occupation, had hazards, glad to be long since quit of it--and remember always being struck by that. Going in with a hefty serving of confidence matters so much more than being the bigger one sometimes... Not always, but sometimes.

and Blitzx absoultely has that confidence. He fights hard, with everything he has, and even if he can't permanently put a Sinner down without the right kind of weapon, he can hurt them. He can kill them for a while. He can be the torment they thought they escaped when they realized 'oh Pentagram City is kinda nice!' Blitz will turn absolutely vicious, no holds barred, when he needs to.

Most of the time though, some smooth-talking (or nonsensical babbling with a confident smile) helps to cool their temper--especially when he reminds them that hey, you can hunt down the person who took a hit out on you and keep on killing each other and respawning for all eternity! Have fun! Byyyyeee!