Beneath Their Masks Chapter 14 Is Up!

Beneath Their Masks Chapter 14 is Up!

It's at this point that I've reached the end of my pre-written chapters. I think the daily uploads may come to an end. I'll do my best to keep ahead of the curve, but I'm not gonna write any checks my stupid ass can't cash.

Makoto was lighting a candle in her room after the power had gone out…again. Taking a page from Ann’s book, she had dotted some candles around her room. She even made an attempt to pick candles with scents that wouldn’t necessarily clash with each other. Ann said she was planning on coming by at some point today, and Makoto considered it a shame that the power had gone out, but perhaps Ann being there to comfort her would be a good thing. She hadn’t had as extreme of a reaction as the last time the power went out, but she still felt uneasy. The only thing keeping her mind off it was Ann’s eventual arrival.

Makoto felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and tapped on the recent text notification. It was from Ann.

Ann: did the power just go out at your place?

Makoto: It did. How did you know?

Ann: because im here

Makoto: Oh, I see. You will probably have to take the stairs, then.

Ann: see

Ann: i wish i could do that

Makoto: It’s not that bad of a climb, to be honest. We’re only on the 25th floor.

Ann: no

Ann: im in the elevator

Makoto: Oh.

Makoto: Oh!

Ann: yeah

Makoto: Did the elevator stop?

Ann: yeah

Ann: i hit the emergency button but nothing’s happening

Ann: makoto niijima, light of my life, would you please find some way to get me out of this thing?

Beneath Their Masks Chapter 13 is Up!

Oh yeah, it's actually going up at a time for people to read it during the day! Wow! Also please excuse the confusing chronology. When I eventually finish P5R, I wanna go through these chapters again and fix up any mistakes or anachronisms that don't fit the timeline. Can you tell that I have basically no idea what I'm doing?

"Sis?"

"Hm?"

Sae was reading a legal journal on the couch, legs crossed, with a steaming cup of coffee in her free hand. Makoto hadn't seen Sae relaxed in a long while, so she would have been surprised…if she wasn't so nervous.

"Go on. I'm right here." Ann whispered. She placed a hand on the small of Makoto's back as reassurance.

"Sis…Ann and I…you see…" Makoto sputtered.

Sae closed the journal with one hand, setting it down next to her. The act of giving her sister her full attention would have been comforting to Makoto…if she wasn't so nervous.

Right. Ripping off the bandaid. How fitting that things had come full circle from when Ann and Makoto first started dating.

"Ann and I are dating. She's my girlfriend." Makoto finally said.

However long it took for the words to reach Sae's ears and her reaction couldn't have been longer than a couple seconds, but to Makoto, it may as well have been hours of awkward silence.

ya'll need to chill

Creative Hobbies (And Other Musings)

I've been thinking about something lately, and I'd like to put my thoughts out there to see if anyone else has felt the same thing. (Warning: Long and ramble-y)

For the last couple weeks, I've been doing a lot of "making things" in my free time. Mostly writing, but also putting down ideas, editing works, and otherwise. A lot of my hobbies are creative, and while that's good, its almost overwhelming. I started a new job a few weeks ago and I can't really think of the last time I actually just sat down and relaxed by playing a game or something in my free time. I do a lot of reading, sure, but whenever I get home from work I tend to idly watch YouTube since that takes significantly less effort. Then, usually by the end of the night, I'll start writing something and then oop, I gotta go to bed now to go to work in the morning.

It's kind of...exhausting, having so many creative hobbies. I edit videos, I do 3D art (although that one's on hiatus until I can upgrade my PC cuz god my workflow is so slow cuz blender just freezes every time I wanna do something), I write, and like...I just wish I could pause my brain and enjoy doing something for the hell of it. My mind is just so busy, and while part of me wishes I could slow it down to enjoy things, another part of me is glad I have outlets for creativity. The one downside is that all my energy goes into these outlets, not really leaving time to just turn my brain off (to a degree) and enjoy something, save for just wasting time on youtube.

I want to create things, first off because I enjoy doing it, but also because I feel like if I can make something that even one other person enjoys, I'll have added value to the world in a tangible way. I love receiving positive comments on my writing (not that I'm simply writing for approval or praise), but sometimes the hustle and bustle of making things just wears me out. If I do turn on a game for a little while, it's something quick and easy to pick up and play or dedicate only a little bit of time to, so I always have the ability to shut it off and get back to whatever I was doing.

I like my hobbies, but I have a habit of turning them into work over time. I like order, I like a schedule, I like consistency. It forces me to always engage in something I enjoy, and maybe even get better at it to become a more rounded individual. But without fail, I will always find myself becoming a slave to my hobbies. A slave to something I started doing to have fun, to express myself, to take what I'm feeling and put it somewhere for others to see. Hideo Kojima often says that 70% of his body is made of movies. Well, 100% of my body is made of my creative pursuits. That doesn't leave a lot for much of anything else. I work, I come home, I work on something, and then I go to sleep. I still enjoy writing, but I'm worried that the same thing will happen where it becomes work. Where it becomes the very thing I tried to escape by engaging in it.

They say to write what you know, but I tend to write what I want. I don't really want to go into detail, because I don't wanna be a sad sack and get all depressing on here, but you know that "depressing" thing I was talking about writing the other day? Well, that's an instance of writing what I know. If you read between the lines, that's where I put myself. If you shift your perspective to the whole of it, it's what I want. I said I didn't want to insert too much of myself into my writing, into my work, but it just happens sometimes.

Fiction is written by people, and people have a lot of experiences. Feeling emotion for fiction isn't CrInGe because "it's not real". It's the result of perspective, emotions, experiences, and that's real.

Sorry, I know I've been a real downer recently, but life has been fucking me raw and its starting to come to a head (oh boy! I can't wait til the holidays for things to get even worse!). Here's hoping I can use this as a force for creativity haha... Seems almost sad to think about; considering my own struggles as inspiration for creativity. But that's just how my brain works, I guess. I live on a roulette wheel of hyperfixations and all I can do is wait for it to stop spinning and start walking in that direction. Whatever my mind wills, I will do. It's the only way to stay sane. If I fell apart and just did nothing, well...I've already been there. Boredom is one step towards madness, and no play makes Drac a dull boy.

So yeah, that's a bit of a ramble for tonight. Hopefully, one day, I can look back on this and laugh.

It's kind of upsetting how much Akira appears to miss Morgana when he leaves the party for a while. I believe that Morgana and Akira are genuinely very good friends, especially since they spend practically every waking (and unwaking, I guess) moment together.

It's nice to see some of Akira's inner voice come out, especially since Morgana is usually the one talking for him. I imagine that in his hometown, Akira was very isolated and lonely, so he was able to easily welcome Morgana into his life. I'm sure he found it comforting having someone to look after him and keep him out of his head, at least in my opinion.

I think that if Morgana had stayed gone for any longer, Akira's mental health would have begun to seriously decline, not having someone around to care about him and make sure he's staying on track. At least, that's what I think. It's been a while since I played the beginning parts of P5, but it reminds me of when Yu first shows up in Inaba in P4TA. He's very closed off, not really willing to open up until he makes friends and discovers his powers. He just wants to keep his head down and let the year pass by without incident.

Ah, I'm rambling again. I just really think this part is interesting. I don't think it was handled properly, storywise, since it basically all hinged on the shit way Atlus characterized Ryuji and Morgana's relationship, but it is what it is. There's not even any closure or anything. Just this throwaway line in a safe room:

Like come ON JUST TALK. Oh well. In my heart, they're buddies that happen to butt heads a lot without really meaning anything. Except here it did? I dunno.