People Before The Internet Probably Thought They Were A Lot More Original.

People before the internet probably thought they were a lot more original.

tumblr tuesday: after dark

This one goes out to all the late wakers and slow risers, the long sleepers, the nighttime creepers—whatever your current time of day. Sometimes, the late night light can be something to celebrate. While some sleep, streetlights pour glassy neon out over nocturnal nothings: a moment of quiet, brought to you by photographers from all around the world who stay up late and capture the magic. Here, have a little after-hours aesthetique for your troubles.  

@pwh3:

@nthnsu:

@sleeplessintokyo87:

@lunadarkbloom​:

@junonordberg​:

@jcksphotos​:

@greenamanita​:

@tokyocandid​:

Are we MORE than we THINK?

So........ there’s this thing, right! Where we imagine how we are the main character of our show. The show is, obviously your name or something cooler!  And the platform of the show is the state in which you are living your life. And the internet would be your life subscription. So! in what state are you living your life? How is your show! Going to be?  

For me! If I were to think this way. Believing that I was a main character in a show. Titled “What life is left to live”  It would be a shit show with amazing ratings. My show would look a little bit like a life time movie. With a Droplets of harry potter and some cheesy gay plot that’s all wrapped up in how I use to be relevant. And how I’m clawing my way out of this programming. Programming that I have received to be more palatable for other people. The Hob goblins of this planet call (it sux) lol  

The way that I see myself,  is way more! More than, what I actually am in the real world. I think this is why Karen’s are going crazy. And are intentionally lacking the self restraint. Because the reality of what there “Poor little minds can conceive.” And what’s actually happening in the real world, is clashing horrifically. And Quite entertainingly as well. I mean! Man!!! When I need a good laugh or someone to judge. I happen to (you-tube Karen's gone crazy!!!) 

You see! I have a non conventional way of seeing the world. It’s called my p.e.r.s.p.e.c.t.i.v.e..... Although there are many who may feel I’m not supposed to have one. I can truly care less. So The show of mine would be called “What life is left to live” Or “I think I could!”  The platform of my show right now, would be “Dirty 30′s. A users manual.” Now that I think about it. That would be a great idea for a show. If you happen to take it. Link this and give me lots of credd. lol . 

Talking about credd, I know that I have a galactic amount of potential. Being a star kid and all. I also know that I can actually do anything that I put my mind to. So! Why don’t I do it? Because the plot of the show is. ”Being an adult sucks.”  And the main character slowly finds out what that means them. My character finds out there is actually no one that should be counted on. “Morbid, I know right!" Or that the one that should be counted on is ones self! All help is not good help. All free hands aren’t free. And the light that shines at the end of the tunnel actually burns just a little if your in it too long. So If we are more than we think we are. Then what are we thinking? What part of thought are we acting on. Or should I say Am I Acting On? I’m trucking on as much as I can. I’m tired of the red tape and the blurred lines and rhetoric that’s played with. But! life, shall  go on!

Dear Diary #5

On a much lighter note. I have to say that I love myself, even more than I thought I could ever could. I was at work. Rushing to the bathroom because well I have been hydrating like theres no other. Being in the service. I have to say fitness is key and well I have been slacking. And now I'm getting bak on tract. So It have been drinking. A shit ton of water every day. Well, I look too dame good..

I've always been relatively thin! Hungry looking, as I jokingly say now a days. So I'll just SSAYY... with quotations "Thin." Because now! I'm not, but I use to be. At 24 I use to be 150 pounds. Currently I'm close to 260. I find that to be some what of an achievement because I never thought I was going to make it. Make it as in, alive.

I was on Columbia University campus. In the religious hall. Where one of the professors have taken a kindness to me. He began to mentor me. In the beginning stages of him mentoring me. He kept asking me critical thinking questions. At that time, I have never, ever been more annoyed with someone in my entire life.

The question was. "How do you see yourself living in a few years?"

To be honest, I did't know how to answer him. From the age of 16 - 24 I have to say I was literally left. In the wild I go, to figure out life. Drifting back and forth between NJ and New York. Trying to find my footing. Only too later on find a guy I though I could have spent the rest of my life with. Albiet that's a story for another time. My mentor's other question was! "What do you see yourself doing in the next few years?" This question was very challenging for me. Because I had absolutely no clue as how to effetely answer him.

Then he became more and more specific..... After seeing the lack of light in my eyes. He said out loud. "Do you even see yourself living"? Without hesitation I said "No!" When I answered. I was speaking metaphorically and maybe, just maybe, literally. I never thought about the value of my life. Because I was left to wonder the world or city streets of Manhattan.

It's moments like this that I like to reflect on because I am better than I was all those years ago. I have a stronger sense of self worth and a better sense of awareness in myself. And how I'm going to achieve what I'm going to achieve. I'm happier and heavier than I have been in a very long time. I'm no longer hungry and broke. I'ma chunky monkey that's stable. If I could I would love, love, love to say thank you to all the men who took the time to say what they had to say to me. To make me aware of what I was and was not doing. These were amazing and beautiful Black men.

On all of my moments of refection. I have to say that This, that moment was when I woke up. That I had something going on with me. With me Being a follower of Baccus in his non roman form. And quite literally being next to a statue of a Satyr. NO! Dionysus is not a satyr. It would correctly be closer to Pan. But! this statue gave me more of a Dionysus vibe at that time in my life. Quick tangent. I like him because I relate to how beautiful his spoken about in the stories. and how he was loved. How he lived in freedom. To me! How could I not want to be around an energy that gave that level of carelessness. Now a days. I'm a lot more of an Orisha man. But! I do love my Greco-Romans.

I'm not to sure how many people can say they can point out the moment where there life have taken a turn for the better. But to me I believe that that day in those moments. In that hour, of being questioned. I realized there's a lot more to life than existing.

Thank you Tumbler Diary for reading my words and taking my thoughts into your head.

“Valor withers without adversity.”

— Seneca, On Providence

So for those of you who are getting to know me. I'm an art lover. Art lover as in create art. Not know artist lol anywho, the detail in this and the expression I see in body, clothes as well as face is too dearing to me. I practice watercolor painting. I've dabbled in oil and it's so hard to do. With a bit of grit, I'll eventually get the hang of it.

Ernest Leonard Blumenschein (1874 - 1960) Untitled Oil on canvas 24 ¼ x 20 1/8 inches (61.6 x 51.1 cm)