Steve: You Call Yourself My Brother, Dustin, But Where Were You When My Meme Only Had Four Likes?

Steve: You call yourself my brother, Dustin, but where were you when my meme only had four Likes?

Dustin: Making four accounts, bro

Steve: ...Bro

robin meeting eddie by doing the “please pretend like you know me to get this creep away from me” move in a club and they immediately get along. robin’s really only there as moral support for steve, who she’s been begging to go out and get laid — for his sanity, but more importantly for hers — and eddie drew the short stick on being DD for the night, so.

the two of them end up chatting in a booth for over an hour, drinking sodas and playing card games (eddie keeps a deck of cards in his jacket ‘for impressing dates with sleight of hand magic. obviously.’)

later on in the night steve spots robin and comes up to their table, and eddie puts his arm around her shoulder and hugs her into his side like “this guy bothering you, sweetheart?”

and robin and steve share a look and burst into hysterical laughter

They’re about 20 minutes into the movie when Steve feels the familiar dip of weight against his shoulder.

He can’t stop the pulse of fond bemusement that surges through him. After all, Eddie had insisted on picking the movie this week, insisted that it was “an unfathomable travesty” that Steve had never seen it, insisted they had to watch it despite the bruise-colored circles under his eyes, the discreet flex of his hands disguising the tremors he gets when he’s over exhausted. Steve says nothing, lets the movie run, and once Eddie conks out instead of switching to something more his speed, he keeps watching.

The movie’s not Steve’s taste, but it’s not bad. He hasn’t been big into cartoons since he was a kid. The animation is strange yet fascinating, the characters’ movements equal parts natural and off-putting. He drifts in and out of the story, though enough of Dustin and Eddie’s ramblings have sunk in that he’s able to follow along. Whenever a name or location he recognizes pops up he turns to Eddie and says, smugly, “I know what that is.” Eddie replies with a soft exhale that ends in a low hum. His breath skitters across Steve’s throat. Steve shivers.

Eddie’s got this little bank of noises he makes when he’s sleeping. When he crashes after drinking too much, he snores. When he’s asleep but not deep enough to rest, he mumbles—sometimes giggles, too, which is really unsettling if you’re not expecting it. And when he’s dreaming, good or bad, he hums.

Keep reading

Steve: Good luck sending me mixed signals, I don't even understand the direct ones

Eddie finally lets Jeff talk him into going on this blind date. It's not like he's against dating, he just doesn't expect fireworks from an hour of small talk over an overpriced dinner, y'know? Jeff swore by this guy, though, assuring Eddie that they would hit it off, but Eddie will never know because the guy doesn't show.

That's right, he gets stood up, Jeff texts him a string of apologies saying the guy chickened out. So Eddie’s just sitting there alone, trying not to sulk when the waitress asks if he's still waiting to order. Fuck it, he refuses to be the most miserable person in the restaurant, looking around to find someone equally as pathetic, and lo and behold:

Three tables away, there's a guy getting dumped.

Eddie eavesdrops because he has nothing better to do. It’s a pretty standard breakup. Sounds like they haven't been together long and things fizzled out. Neither of them seem to be invested enough to try and salvage it.

"Aren't you gonna say anything, Steve?"

No, Steve isn't. He just sits there while his former boyfriend leaves, doesn't try to stop him at all. Not in a hardened douchebag way, but in a dejected 'why do I even bother' way that Eddie knows all about.

And well, Eddie might be a cynic but his curiosity isn't dead. This Steve is far too pretty to be getting dumped in a seafood place and Eddie has to know what the deal is. It leads him right over to Steve's table. He looks up at Eddie, not quite dead behind the eyes yet, but maybe a little lonely. Just needs a spark.

"Alright well, something tells me that a stranger bugging you won't be the worst thing to happen to you tonight, so I'm just gonna take this empty seat and maybe we can help each other figure out why we're both alone on a Friday night. What do you say?"

Steve blinks, a little taken back at first, then he matches the nonchalance that Eddie's so good at faking with a smirk and a shrug, "Depends. Do you have all night?"

Turns out, Jeff was right about one thing, Eddie does hit it off with someone and it doesn't take all night. They leave the restaurant together, spend hours just walking the town and even breaking into a park after hours. It's the most fun Eddie's had in a while, and even though he doesn't get a goodnight kiss just yet, he gets a second date, which is even better.

He walks home with a skip in his step and a fire in his belly that he hasn't felt in years. He never thought he'd be so glad to get stood up before.

Nancy: Robin is a great provider

Steve: And what does she provide you with exactly?

Nancy: *watches a microwave blow up in Robin's face, Robin just standing there like she's in a cartoon* Amusement mostly