Im Tired Of All These Spam And Bot Accounts Following Me

I’m tired of all these spam and bot accounts following me

I don’t want yer’ porn, I cannot possibly make it more clear

CPII: [crunchiest burp ever]

Me: “The hell was that?!”

CPII: “A burp”

Me: “That was rancid, I loved it”

A quick list of who everyone is

Most of these names are inside jokes for privacy reasons

CPII - Online friend, started the Matilda joke about my dad (his name is an acronym for “cunt part II” because that was his contact name forever, and he likes it)

Partner - Self explanatory

Ghostie - Friend

Pip-pip - Friend

Bethan - Friend

J - coworker and mutual friend of my partner and I

Tree - friend

Any other mentioned persons have had their names changed

So, my stepmom’s friend has 2 cats; both of them were diagnosed at the vet with pica. An eating disorder caused by a few different things like iron deficiency. And the conversation I had with her about it went a little something like this:

stepmom: “my friend with the new cats just had them diagnosed with pica this afternoon.”

me: “oh, I didn’t know cats could get pica. How did she find out?”

stepmom: “well they’ve been eating her drywall in the living room next to the dog gate, and just generally chewing on everything that isn’t food or meant to be chewed on.”

me: “drywall…didn’t I eat drywall in the apartment we lived in when I was super little? And then again when I was at my mothers’ ?”

stepmom, looking up from her book: “and then four years later we found out you had pica. I’m just glad we never had an issue with you eating anything else like screws.”

My father to his friend over a discord call: “Is that even autism; if I hate trains? The way they sound all rumbled and bumbly and loud?”

And the follow up:

Bethan: “did your father just put into words what I’ve been trying to tell people my entire life?”

Reblogging so I don’t lose this!!!

This list includes doctors in the United States, Australia, Canada, and Europe!

Even if you're not the target demographic, please share for any of your friends who may be.

And if you or someone you know would like to be added to the list, there's a place for that!