Whumptober Day 31 - Embrace

Whumptober day 31 - Embrace

My final fill for @whumptober2019​! A very whumpy WinterIron ficlet that is also available on Ao3. Thank you all so much for following me this month, and I hope you’ve enjoyed it!!

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He wasn’t going to last much longer.

Every single part of him was hurting. He had long since passed being exhausted. Some of his wounds had become infected, and he was pretty sure some of his bones had been broken and were healing wrong. Not to mention the fact that the cough he’d developed was worrying him. Ever since Afghanistan, his lungs had already been compromised, and he wouldn’t be surprised to find out they’d gotten infected as well.

If the others didn’t find him soon, he was afraid it might end up being too late. And what was worse, they’d started to make him doubt.

Usually, people would kidnap him for ransom or to make him build them something. It was what he’d been used to since far too young, and he knew how to deal with either of those situations.

These people hadn’t, though. As far as he knew, there had been no demands - to Pepper, to Rhodey, to Bucky, or to the other Avengers. And they certainly hadn’t let him anywhere near anything he could use to get himself out. Instead, the only thing they seemed to want was to make him suffer as much as possible.

Oddly enough, the physical torture wasn’t even the worst. It hurt, and it might be what ended up killing him, but mentally, he could deal with it. But they’d kept him awake for days with lights, with noise, and despite being used to some sleep deprivation, this had quickly surpassed his ability to handle it. And then there was the mental torture - the curses, he was familiar with. Even the way they told him, over and over again, that everything was his fault, that he was a terrible person and that his weapons had killed thousands, that he would burn in hell for all eternity, was familiar.

It was the certainty with which they told him that no one was coming for him that threatened to break him, though. The way they yelled that no one cared about him, because how could they, and they would be glad to be rid of him. The way they laughed and told him he was pathetic, thinking people could actually love someone like him.

Somehow, it felt as though they’d dug up his deepest, darkest fears and threw them straight into his face. It was everything he’d ever worried about, all of the things he had thought but never said out loud.

He’d managed, so far, to pretend it didn’t bother him that much. Three days in, he’d gone silent, stoically gritting his teeth and mentally chanting ‘Stark men are made of iron’ over and over and over again. Outwardly, they might be able to see that he was suffering, but he could still pretend that they hadn’t broken him.

Maybe they hadn’t, yet. Maybe this was just bending, farther than he’d ever thought he could. As long as he didn’t let them see him break, maybe… Maybe he hadn’t, yet.

Through it all, he’d tried to remind himself that they’d come. He might be all of the bad things they said and more, but… They knew about that. Rhodey had known him since he’d been a teenager, had been there through so many highs and lows that he probably knew more about Tony than he knew about himself. Bucky had gotten to know things about him that he’d never told anyone else and still stuck with him, still told him he loved him. Pepper, the other Avengers...

They all knew him, good sides and bad, and they still cared. There was no way they’d faked that, no way they would pretend to like him just for his money or his tech.

(Except he’d thought Obie cared as well, hadn’t he?)

((But Rhodey and Pepper both would’ve been set for life if he’d ended up dying in Afghanistan. Yet they’d never stopped looking for him, never stopped setting up search missions to try to find him.))

Lack of sleep wasn’t helping when it came to trying to have faith. His mind oscillated wildly between the hope that the others cared, that they were looking for him, and the despair of knowing he wasn’t worth it and they shouldn’t come for him, wouldn’t come for him.

He coughed again, grimacing at the way it made agony course through him. There were a few trickles of blood as some of his wounds opened again due to the movement.

Gritting his teeth, Tony reminded himself to just hang on.

They were looking for him. They had to be. They were his friends, his family. They weren’t fake, not like Obie had been. He might not be worth it, might deserve to die right here, suffering until his last breath. But that wasn’t the kind of people they were. They were good, and honest. They were heroes. And he knew he was not a good person, but somehow they must have found something in him that was decent enough for him to deserve having them care about him.

So all he had to do was last.

 Stark men are made of iron. Hang on. They are coming.

He repeated it to himself over and over and over, ignoring the pain as they hit him, cut him, kicked him.

He repeated it to himself over and over and over, drowning out their voices as they yelled about how terrible he was, how pathetic, how worthless.

He repeated it to himself over and over and over, clutching to it desperately as they pushed him down into a tub of salt water that made him want to scream.

 Stark men are made of iron. Hang on. They are coming.

He was still holding onto it when the gunfire started, when there were yells and screams and roars. And he had to crush the little spark of hope, because if it wasn’t them, that might just end up breaking him.

Instead he held on, breathing as evenly as possible and listening carefully for hints of what was going on. And if, in his mind, a litany of please please please had started, well… No one else could hear that, or judge him for his weakness.

And then the door was slammed open, bouncing off the wall and off the hinges.

Bucky was dressed in full gear, one hand holding a gun and the other a knife. The look on his face was absolutely murderous, and even the black of his gear couldn’t hide the blood.

The moment his eyes met Tony’s, his entire face softened in a way that was so intimately familiar that Tony’s breath caught for a moment. “Tony…” Of course, then he looked at the rest of Tony, and his face looked like it could have been carved from stone. Tony knew him well enough to know that, right now, Bucky very badly wanted to go out there and make every single person that had hurt him suffer.

Rather than doing that, though, he stepped further into the room. “Found him,” he informed the others, voice flat and business-like. Tony couldn’t hear what the others were saying, but he could guess when Bucky’s next words were “alive, but injured. Badly.”

After informing the others, though, he once again focused fully on Tony. “Oh, doll…”

He wanted to speak up, wanted to say hello, or that he’d missed him, or that he’d be fine. But he didn’t want to risk it, not with his injuries and his lungs and the way that his throat felt like he’d swallowed knives. So instead he just attempted the best smile he could, feeling the way it sat unevenly on his face.

And then Bucky was there, and for the first time in what felt like ages, someone touched him without hurting him. The whimper he let out was completely involuntary, instantly triggering another coughing fit that made his eyes water with the pain of it.

Through all of it, Bucky held him, somehow managing to find the exact right balance between tight enough to make Tony feel secure without being so tight that it would hurt more or injure him further.

He didn’t have a lot of strength to move with, but with the bit he had left, he buried his face into Bucky’s neck, savoring the warmth, the feeling of utter and complete safety that Bucky always inspired in him. With Bucky holding him, nothing would hurt him anymore. And while he was still very aware of his injuries, they seemed somehow less painful now.

As he pressed a small, desperately grateful kiss into Bucky’s neck, he could feel the way those strong arms tightened just a little, the way Bucky curled around him protectively.

“I’ve got you, doll. We’re here, we’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

Hi everyone! The absolutely amazing Marvel Trumps Hate auction is underway again, and I am proud and excited to say I am participating again this year! So if there’s something you’ve been wanting for me to write, this is your chance!

That being said, I am not the only one by far. There are so many amazing creators that can be found here. The WinterIron server I am a proud member of also has multiple incredible creators participating, as can be found here. If you’ve got some money to spare, this is a good purpose for it!

In case you have any questions (about the auction or about possible fills), please feel free to message me!

Eirlyssa

See Eirlyssa’s existing works here and here. Preferred contact methods: Email - eirlys.windchaser@gmail.com Tumblr - eirlyssa Preferred organizations: - Anything from the list of approved organizations Will create works that contain: Tony-central, Tony!whump, Tony Stark being loved, bottom Tony Stark, Team Iron Man, healthy relationship between main characters,, domestic Avengers, team feels, team-fic, hurt/comfort, (angst with a) happy ending, A/B/O dynamics, fluff, cuddling, bed sharing, (mutual) pining, getting back together, fake marriage/relationship, jealousy, pre-slash, presumed dead, wingfic, wrong number, identity porn, de-aged/kid-fic, 5+1s, outsider POV, various AUs (e.g. high school/college AU, soulmate AU, canon AU, sentinel/guide AU, shapeshifter AU, fairytale AU, non-powered AU, fantasy/medieval AU), crossovers (so long as it’s another fandom I’m familiar with). Will not create works that contain: Top/alpha/dom Tony, unhappy endings, smut/kinks, heavy angst, major character deaths, graphic drug abuse, gore, explicit physical or emotional abuse, terminal illnesses, permanent major character death, suicide, dark-fic, scat, watersports, sexual age play, maiming/extremely graphic torture, animal harm, graphic pedophilia, some AUs (e.g. dystopian AU, villain AU), dark/evil, CACW Team Cap. In main pairing/from main characters (I could write this done by someone other than the main character(s), e.g. in a previous relationship): non-con/rape, dub-con, consent issues, abusive relationship, infidelity, gaslighting, underage, adult-child relationships, statutory rape, incest, breakups/divorce.  

– Digital work (graphic/edit, gifset, manip, mood board, etc.) –

Auction ID: 069 Will create works for the following relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Loki/Tony Stark - MCU James “Rhodey” Rhodes & Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark - MCU Tony Stark/Stephen Strange - MCU T'Challa/Tony Stark - MCU Tony Stark/Thor - MCU Tony Stark & Jan van Dyne - AvAc Work Description: A moodboard for a story of your choice, though if it’s not your own story, permission from the author is required. Should be able to finish December 2019 at the latest (though earlier dates can be discussed). It might hint at intimate situations/violence, but I will not go too graphic (e.g. visuals of intimate parts/graphic torture). Please let me know if you are uncertain whether I would be able to fill your request. Ratings: G, Teen, Mature CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

– Fic or other writing –

Auction ID: 070 Will create works for the following relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Loki/Tony Stark - MCU James “Rhodey” Rhodes & Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark - MCU Tony Stark/Stephen Strange - MCU T'Challa/Tony Stark - MCU Tony Stark/Thor - MCU Tony Stark & Jan van Dyne - AvAc Work Description: Minimum of 2500 words (might end up being more if particularly inspired, but you don’t pay for more than 2500), should be able to finish February 2020 at the latest (though earlier dates can be discussed). The mature rating is only for the possibility of violence/cursing, since I am not great at writing smut. Please let me know if you are uncertain whether I would be able to fill your request. Ratings: G, Teen, Mature CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

– Fic or other writing –

Auction ID: 071 Will create works for the following relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Loki/Tony Stark - MCU James “Rhodey” Rhodes & Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - MCU, AvAc Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark - MCU Tony Stark/Stephen Strange - MCU T'Challa/Tony Stark - MCU Tony Stark/Thor - MCU Tony Stark & Jan van Dyne - AvAc Work Description: Minimum of 5000 words (might end up being more if particularly inspired, but you don’t pay for more than 5000), should be able to finish February 2020 at the latest (though earlier dates can be discussed). The mature rating is only for the possibility of violence/cursing, since I am not great at writing smut. Please let me know if you are uncertain whether I would be able to fill your request. Ratings: G, Teen, Mature CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK The auction runs from October 19 (11:59 PM ET) to October 26 (11:59 PM ET). Visit marveltrumpshate.com during Auction Week to view all of our auctions and to place your bids!

the inventor.

“The difference between ‘Iron Man’ and some other movies is that there’s no spider bite; there’s no magic bullet where a hero is born. We had to build him. We wanted people to remember that there’s a person inside that suit, and it will hurt if he falls.”

Whumptober day 28 - Beaten

This @whumptober2019​ fill is a High School AU and is also available on Ao3. No pairings, but it’s sort of pre-Avengers as family :) There is some cursing in this.

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Tony gritted his teeth as another foot hit his legs, the same time another one hit his back. By now, he’d curled up to protect his chest and head, but they didn’t show any sign of stopping.

He would not give them the satisfaction of seeing him cry, though. He might be bruised, and bloody, and dirty, but they would not break him.

"Yeah, not so high and mighty anymore, are you, Stark?"

The best thing to do would be to stay silent, to just let them get it out so they’d feel like they won and would walk away. But if there was anything Tony was terrible at, it was keeping his mouth shut when he should.

So he looked up at Stone, at Hammer, at Killian, at Vanko, at Beck, and sneered. “Fuck you.”

Just in time, he managed to protect his face from the kick that followed. They got even more vicious, and he wondered if his ribs would be broken, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Not when he’d seen the way it had knocked all of them off the high horses they felt they were on, the way it made them feel like they were the weak ones.

Which they were, honestly. Five against one, there was no way Tony could fight back and win and they had known it. Which was why, despite most of them usually hanging out with others, they’d gone for this together.

Because they all hated Tony.

Being smart, and rich, and good-looking, had not made him all that popular overall. There were enough people who wanted to be his ‘friends’ as long as they could get something out of it, and there were times where he was tempted. But if there was anything he’d learned from his Aunt Peggy, aside from how to defend himself, it was not to compromise himself for others, not when they would never return the favor.

It had left him fairly alone, which was an unfortunately familiar feeling, but at least he still felt like he could respect himself.

Unfortunately, that also left him vulnerable. And when the people who disliked him didn’t even have the courtesy of dealing with him individually, there wasn’t a whole lot he could do but try to make sure they wouldn’t do any lasting damage.

With the way they were carrying on, he was starting to worry.

“Hey! What’s going on here!?” The voice sounded vaguely familiar, and the hitting stopped.

Tentatively, Tony looked over to where the voice had come from, only to see Steve Rogers. And not just him, either - he had his entire group of friends with him, and none of them looked very happy.

“Mind your own business,” Hammer told them.

“Just teaching the Stark kid a little lesson,” Stone elaborated a little. Considering Tony was well-known and unpopular, he probably thought they’d leave them be after that. And Tony had to admit, for a moment he was afraid they would do exactly that.

But apparently, their rumored intolerance of bullying even extended to Tony himself, because Rogers only stepped closer, the others right with him. “Leave him alone.”

“Why the hell do you care?” Beck snapped. “Not like anyone gives a shit about him.”

“Last chance, assholes.” Rogers tended to be nicer about things - until he threw himself straight into a fight. Barnes, his best friend, had no such compunctions. “Back off or get your asses beat.”

They did not back off, and all Tony could do was watch in astonishment as Rogers, Barnes and the others completely swept the floor with the five of them. For him.

Huh. They might have hurt some ribs after all. His chest was feeling warm in a way it usually didn’t.

Whumptober day 29 - Numb

Today’s @whumptober2019​ fill involves the friendship between Tony and Rhodey when the latter comes to find his friend after his parents have died. It’s also available on Ao3.

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When Jim found him, he was just… sitting. Staring.

“I’m so sorry, man,” he told his best friend, hesitantly sitting down next to him. Tony was usually very touchy and affectionate, like the younger brother he’d never had, but considering the situation, he wasn’t sure what to do.

“It’s… Thank you.” Even Tony’s voice sounded more distant than usual.

For a long while, the two of them just sat in silence. As much as Jim wanted to be there for him, he wasn’t quite sure how to. So he just stayed, hoping it would help at least a little.

Eventually, Tony spoke up, his voice even. “Is it normal to just… not really feel anything?” He breathed, briefly looking over to Jim before going back to staring out the window again, where a thin layer of snow was covering the landscape. “I mean, somewhere in the back of my mind, I know I should be… feeling. Grieving. But it all just feels numb.”

Jim grimaced a little. The only experience with death he could remember, if vaguely, was when his grandfather had died, and that had been over ten years ago. And while he’d liked the man well enough, eleven was not an age where he’d entirely comprehended everything going on.

But he couldn’t even try to imagine losing either of his parents, let alone both of them at the same time. His mind retreated from the very thought as if burnt.

He guessed Tony’s mind might be doing something similar to that, no matter how strained his relationship with his father might have been. “I can’t say if it’s normal or not,” he confessed, “but I can’t say I blame you.”

Silence fell again and, hoping he was doing the right thing, Jim reached out and grabbed Tony’s hand. He’d worried that Tony might pull away, that it might be too much at the moment, but instead he intertwined his fingers with Jim’s and held on.

No doubt that it would all hit, and that Tony would get emotional. It might take a few hours, or a few days… maybe even a few weeks, or months, or even years. But Jim was determined to be there for his friend no matter how long it took, and no matter in what kind of way his grief would express itself.

There was no doubt in his mind Tony would do the exact same for him, had been no doubt that they would be there for one another ever since the day they’d met one another.

More than friends, they were family.