This Is Dazai All Over Again, Like Teacher Like Student -_-

This is Dazai all over again, like teacher like student -_-

hey fellas is it gay to stare at your rival whom you just met with pure wonder and awe???

hey fellas is it gay to rant about and relish in your rivals impressive feats?!?!

fellas?!?? IS IT????

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 5

Previous chapter; Prologue 4

CW: Same as previous chapters.

The start of the "Rose-Red Tyrant aka. Satan but tiny🌹" is nearing, y'all 🤭

Next morning...

You dragged Crowley to a quiet corner of the infirmary while temporarily kicking Yuu out, just so that you and this squawking headmaster can have a heart-to-heart discussion about the roles that you and Yuu will play in the future as Crowley tries to search for your way home.

"You try to make me and Yuu work as janitors and I will skin you alive."

"You can't just—"

"Trust me, no one will ever find your goddamn body."

You cut him off, looking at him dead-in-the-eye, full of seriousness.

You're not about to get demoted into a janitor today, nuh uh.

Not now, not ever.

Crowley can go fuck himself.

"It's the responsibility of your goddamn school to compensate us for this situation and yet you try to make us into your errand boys? I gotta give you some credit man– I mean, that audacity is through the fucking roof!"

Crowley shrinks to himself a little bit, you may not be raising your voice but you're sure as hell figuratively spitting enough venom on him that it almost burns his skin. Looks like the years of mingling and having a pact with the avatar of pride is starting to pay off.

"Actually trying to get us to go around like servants at your beck at call?! You actually dare??"

"Like seriously? Do you have any idea how hectic my daily schedule already is? Because of your damn carriage I'm a whole world away from home! And yet you have the face to try and use us for labor like we wanted to be here?? How shameless can you be?!"

With each venomous spat of yours, Crowley shrinks more and more into himself as he starts fiddling with his fingers.

He takes quick glimpses of your 'Angry-Disappointed Asian Mom Pose™' and attempts to make himself look even more smaller.

• • • • •

After that verbal beat down, you calmed yourself and decided to be a part-time nurse of this school while Yuu can be your part-time assistant. Things will be easier if you're a part of the faculty, or will you be? you'll only be a part-timer after all... though, being a nurse in the infirmary is easier than running around in this campus sweeping floors and cleaning shit. You also need money to earn necessities. Ugh, what a pain...

You then decided to drag the now-too-timid Crowley by the ear straight into his office so that you two can discuss your paychecks. With written contracts and a witness.

. . . . . . .

. . . . .

. . .

.

"What happened here?"

You asked, seeing Yuu standing beside a charred statue as a ginger and a cat scrambled to get away, only to end up getting tied by Crowley's whip as the man scolds them and Yuu for some reason.

.

You can feel years of your lifespan being shaved off when the ginger (who you've learned had been the cause of this mess) had the audacity to be shocked that he's also going to be punished for the charring of the 'Queen of hearts' statue.

It looks like being absolutely shameless is a prerequisite to be enrolled in this goddamn college.

"Hold your horses crow-man, why is Yuu being punished when they weren't even involved in burning that damn statue?"

.

So... it turns out... You may have infected Yuu with your potty mouth and chronic bitchy-ness that Yuu is actually responsible for further escalating the fight between the ginger -Ace- and the cat -grim... srsly?- as by copying the way you speak and ended up immensely bruising Ace's ego with their insults... You don't know if you should be proud of that fact or not..

You turned to the headmaster.

"...Yuu cleans 15 windows. That's the most you can give them. You can give the rest of the 100 windows to the ginger and the cat."

"Oi!—" Ace tried to speak, only for Yuu to discreetly cover his mouth. Ain't no way they're letting Ace stop you from tryna lessen their cleaning sentence.

Crowley seems to want to say something so you spoke even quicker, raising your voice so that the students around can hear you.

"Those windows are taller than Yuu and I can ever dream to be in our entire lives. You aren't going to make a magicless human clean more than 15 of those things are you?"

*Close-eyed smile*

"Well—" Crowley sputtered.

"Oh who am I kidding! Of course you won't! You're a very gracious and benevolent headmaster, aren't you..? There's no way you'll risk straining and over-working a magicless minor over a mistake they didn't even directly cause, would you~?"

*Happily clasping your hands together*

"Erm..."

Crowley would've gone back to shrinking his frame and fiddling with his fingers if there weren't students around, the face you're making is just scaring him too much... That kind of smile that made him want to meet your expectations or else..

"Ahh~ I'm soo~ happy that kind people like you are in charge of the youth! Knowing a young one's limits and adjusting to them even if they've made a big mistake! You are such an amazing educator, headmaster!"

The students, Yuu, Grim and Ace stared blankly at you, gobsmacked – exasperated – flabbershamabergasted by the stunt you're pulling.

There's no way that would work right..?

. . . .

. . right??

Crowley clears his throat, thankful that more than half of his face is covered by his mask, lest his red face be seen by all.

"A- ah yes, you're absolutely right Mr. [L/n]. Th- there's no way I can be such a callous individual, Yuu shall clean 15 windows while Grim and Trapolla will clean the rest."

He said speedily before making a swift exit, looking like a chicken with his tail on fire.

You sharply gazed at the students around and opened your mouth.

"Any of you have a fuckin problem with us?"

Those words caused the other students to start speed-walking away and the Weasley-lookin-mf scrambled to free himself from Yuu's hand.

• • • • •

Heterochromia eyes gleamed from a shady corner near the statues of the great seven.

"Hehe~ looks like Azul is right to be interested with the little cone snail–chan~"

• • • • •

MC... please.. be safe.

We'll find you, don't worry..

Then we'll make sure that no one will take you from us ever again.

← Pr. 4 | Chapter List | Pr. 6 →

Don't forget to like, and reblog guys, it really helps me and gives me motivation :>

Elae: Thanks for reading this far y'all, I really appreciate all of you 🤭

See you guys next time. <3

@leviathans-tail-scales

@f0urleaf-cl0ver

The premium version of human is here to wreck house, mfs.

[Twst x Obey Me!AFAB!reader]

CHP. 6

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: PROLOGUE 5

I get really happy every time one of you guys like, reblog, or comment on my chapters, Thanks guys :3

CW: ANYTIME that MC is referred with male address or pronouns it's going to be color blue. There's also a shit-ton of cursing here.

You can feel your blood pressure ascending into the Celestial Realm (faster than a newly deceased good person) as this Azul Asheng-something mf drags you into his oh-so-fancy "Monstro Lounge" while you're just peacefully trying to fuck off from his dorm.

You were unfortunately curious enough to go poke your head into the mirrors leading to the dorms to see what they've got and use it as inspiration, but then this greasy-ass bitch sadly spotted you and literally hounded you to go in.

You would've socked him in the face for a second time but it turns out that he's a pretty important figure in this school.

You don't really wanna get in trouble for doing that.

(You may be able to do it to Crowley but you don't know if this attempted-bangle-thief has influential parents or something.. Crowley meanwhile, acts pretty parent-less for you.)

You are keeping an eye on him though.

If he tries any bullshit then he's getting his ass kicked.

Social hierarchy be damned.

You didn't rein in 10 demons, 3 angels, The greatest sorcerer in all of humanity and The literal fuckin grim reaper, (who're all constantly dragging you onto bullshit as either an accomplice or the baby-sitter) just for some dude in an Emo-friendly-cut-my-life-into-pieces college to best you.

• • • •

Jade did a double-take.

"..."

He blinked.

Azul is sending him SOS signals by blinking morse code at him.

Jade rubbed his eyes for a few seconds.

"..."

Nope, still the same.

Azul: *Blinking for help intensifies*

...Pft–

He bit his lip to stop his laughter from escaping.

Who would've thought that he'll see a day where his precious housewarden is having his face passive-aggresively squished and kneaded by a new student? And also, probably getting himself threatened based on the eerie smile on the students' face.

Azul should be grateful that floyd isn't here, lest he'll have two people on his hands that are more than happy to squish him around. He should be grateful there isn't anyone else around, really.. Lest the reputation he took so long to build crumbles.

Oh he can just imagine it at the top of his head.. The poor octo-mer will probably combust from embarrassment and maybe even go find himself an octo-pot that he can shimmy himself into.. oh how he misses those days...

(Elae: I'm just imagining baby Azul shimmying into a lil pot.. Ugh, so adorable I'm getting cute aggression.)

He does eventually step in to stop the student from treating Azul's face like a squishy piece of dough He took a couple of pictures ofc. he ain't an amateur, but not before almost getting his own face fall victim to the new students' hands.

• • • •

"You try this shit again and see what happens." You smiled at him as you squished his face.

He's still holding onto your wrists but he seems to have given up from escaping your passive-aggresive face massage. Instead, he seems to have settled in blinking so fast he can almost fly with his eyelashes.

This bitch really had the audacity to try and get you to sell your jewelry to him in exchange for a room in his frankly unimpressive dorm. (You have more than a dozen rich and powerful simps. A dorm in a college ain't gonna be enough to impress you anymore.)

"— I know that you must not have any money to pay but maybe we can compromise, it's gonna be hard for you and your friend (Yuu) to keep staying in the infirmary after all.."

"We can manage—"

"And my benevolence will not allow me to let some poor unfortunate souls be without accommodations... So what if, for a week of stay each, you give me your jewelry in retur—"

You got so pissed at the audacity that you almost strangled him but changed your tactic into a hateful squeezing the last second. (You can't be reported for physically violent behavior rn.)

He speaks as if the entirety of this college and its dorms can actually be worth even a single piece of the ring in your left hand.

But seriously? 15,000 madols (that's the price Azul told you) for one night of stay?? If you're gonna be paying that much money for a single room, then that room better solve all your problems, fulfill your greatest ambitions and then suck your imaginary dick afterwards.

Your annoyed musings were cut off when a hand tries to remove your grip from Azul's face.

You absent-mindedly reach your other hand, trying to deliver another kneading to a new victim.

• • • • •

Azul covers his face with his hand, embarrassed of how the situation played out.

It doesn't help that Floyd is cackling like a deranged maniac at him right now.

Thank goodness they're in his office.

"Can you stOp?!"

Poor bbg was so embarrassed his voice cracked :<

Hmph.

Jokes on you, even if he got embarrassed today he still got closer to your jewelry.

And now, he can 100% confirm that those ornaments aren't just for decorations.

The strong magic from your rings that were pressed against his face confirmed it.

Those things are definitely custom-made magical artifacts of the highest caliber.

Now.. How to get them...

• • • • •

You stopped walking, feeling someone's gaze on you.

Looking around discreetly, you didn't see anyone but you can still feel the eyes on your form.

Yeah no.

You continue on, ignoring the feeling of being watched, but not going to dark places or spots where you'll be all alone.

Time to check in on Yuu and their unwilling gang of window cleaners.

See if they're done already.

The sun is starting to go down, after all.

• • • • •

Mc... We're going to come find you.

Don't worry..

Please stay safe..

Please don't forget that we love you more than anything else in existence..

0u® |!gHt įN tH€ d@RkN€§$

← Pr. 5 | Chapter List | Pr. 7 →

EDIT: WTF WHY DID THIS CHAPTER GET POSTED?! I SAVED IT IN THE GODDAMN DRAFTS THIS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DONE YET WHAT THE HELL?!

Oh welp, ain't nothing I can do about it now..

Thanks for reading this far, readers☺️

Reblog or I'll bite ya ankles😈

@f0uerleafedcl0ver

@leviathans-tail-scales

@a-traveling-void-human

@xingyunny

@caprinaesprout (should I put you in the permanent tag list for this series?)

Tagging isn't working for some reason so I can't tag some of y'all. The usernames I tagged just fuckin disappearing.

Tumblr is messing with me rn.

You wanna throw hands, Tumblr??

Lmao, bitch slapping a dragon just so he can punch his bf awake is like the plot of Sleeping Beauty but the Crackhead version💀

Shoutout to chuuya for the time he decided to enable corruption, which literally destroys his organs, and proceed to bitch slap a dragon with a building just so he could go and punch his boyfriend. The queers have outdone themselves.

But... I write on my phone🥲

The writer's blessing:

May you write 1,500 words with ease. May your characters be lively and not cardboard. May you need little editing. May your muse visit you as soon as you sit. May the Internet not distract you much. May your phone lie dormant while you write.

The accuracy is unfathomable...

By @/jottober from TikTok