If You Were To Rank The Daedric Princes In Terms Of Power, Who Would Fall Where?

If you were to rank the daedric princes in terms of power, who would fall where?

This is a tricky question, because we have one clear objective answer, and according to Google, 355,687,428,096,000 subjective lists. That’s a fairly big number, but it gets worse because we don’t necessarily know how many Daedric Princes exist. 

The objective answer is “it depends on the writer”. As a few examples of this, sometimes Clavicus Vile is so weak that he can hardly interact with the world around him, other times he’s casually eradicating villages for fun. We’ve seen Hircine casually hijack reality for his own amusement multiple times, but he can also be beaten in a standup fight at the same time, and we’ve been told that he was originally the “weakest” of the bunch. Peryite is sometimes depicted as being the “weakest” Prince, other times he’s treated as the archdemon of Tamriel. Molag Bal is somehow able to go toe to toe with the power of the combined Aedra, and at other points has trouble doing much more than pranking some priest with a haunted house. They are going to be as strong or weak as the story requires, basically.

So instead of trying to open that can of worms today, we’re going to open an entirely different can of worms, and judge them based on their fashion sense.

#17 -- Azura (DISQUALIFIED)

Azura is immediately disqualified from this contest for cheating, because of COURSE she would. Her fashion sense is essentially just the Dunmer fashion sense. This is mostly because she expresses her will through possession often enough, so her “chosen” outfit is usually just whatever that person chose to wear that day. Honestly this might be the worst thing she has ever done, and she cursed the entire population of Morrowind to die because of the actions of three people.

#16 -- Hermaeus Mora

You have to play the game if you want points, and Mora doesn’t play the game. Hermaeus Mora, a terrifying monstrosity from beyond the void, doesn’t play dress up. His commitment to himself is respectable, but this contest is about their fashion sense.

#15 -- Jyggalag

Jyggalag is the kind of person we could have told about this contest in advance, given him plenty of time to prepare, only to have him show up wearing the same armor as always. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he cares FAR too much, but he has about the same imagination capacity as the rest of this metaphor when we compare him to “someone without much imagination at all”.

#14 -- Molag Bal 

Molag Bal’s relationship with clothing can be best described as “generally opposed”, and his fashion sense suffers from that. He is much more interested in tearing clothing off over finding something that matches his complexion. Molag Bal is an awful person.

#13 -- Meridia

Meridia is powerful enough to hijack the sun for her own purposes, and she still dresses like she shoplifts from Goodwill. Meridia, you’re supposed to oppose the undead, stop dressing like you are one.

#12 -- Malacath

Malacath was never going to win this contest, something he’s very fine with. Malacath may not even make it to the top half of the list, but he earns a small amount of personal respect for literally not caring about that fact at all.

#11 -- Namira

What the hell Namira? Sincerely, you may be in the back half of the contest but only SLIGHTLY. Of all the Princes who would have taken a dive to lose this thing, it really should have been you. Namira places on our eleventh spot, but she SHOULD have been at last place. She dresses adequately. Nothing overly fancy, but nothing truly ragged as expected from NAMIRA. I can’t believe you let Azura take last place from you.

#10 -- Peryite

Peryite has a small collection of forms. His favorite outfit is his dragon appearance, but he has also been known to use various foul creatures to appear. He understands his gimmicks well, throws some variety in there, and even has “formal wear”. A generally competent performance, and all we can expect from the only Prince with a real job. Bravo!

#9 -- Mehrunes Dagon

Mehrunes Dagon breaks through the pack of back half thanks to one thing and one thing only... he works it. He knows the poses, how to make an entrance, how to hold himself. It really is unfortunate he is in the triumvirate of Princes who only really wear loincloths if anything at all, alongside Molag Bal and Malacath. If he worked in some capes, some armor, he could have been a fierce contender for a top spot.

#8 -- Clavicus Vile

As we head into the top half of our list we start running into difficulties. Everyone after this point REALLY does try. At least usually. Which takes us to Clavicus Vile, and we really need to ask, what’s going on? Clavicus has a degree of style to him, but it’s just missing... je ne sais quoi. It’s hard to put your finger on it exactly. So really, this spot is going to Barbas, because he’s a good boy!

#7 -- Vaermina

Vaermina’s appearance does get the notion of “Dream Demon” across, so she scores highly with consistency and just a degree of variety. I feel like she could have won this, but she just doesn’t get the limelight enough for the Daedra who literally interacts with every person on an almost nightly basis. Vaermina loses, but from no fault of her own.

#6 -- Sanguine

Sanguine gets points for variety, which is exactly what he’s about. There’s a lot of forms of pleasure out there, and Sanguine definitely experiments with his wardrobe. I’m going with the Skyrim appearance, but that’s due to the platform. Sanguine would prefer to be strutting with his golden staff of a naked lady, but Tumblr has a problem with that apparently.

#5 -- Sheogorath

Sheogorath, smart dresser, true to himself... and barely lost this. Sheogorath seemed to forget something very important about himself, and that is that he dresses smart to lead people down the Golden Path. Instead, he’s been mostly lounging in some variety of his robes from the Shivering Isles for the last thirteen years, with very few exceptions. Sheogorath may have thrown this contest away, but he still gets the fifth spot.

#4 -- Mephala

This is a painful one, which is appropriate considering we’re dealing with Mephala. Mephala has some fantastic appearances that have been just absolutely impressive, she knows who she is and how to present herself. She even had her own fashion line. She did not podium, though. Mephala ranks at #4 instead of higher for two reasons. She keeps forgetting to do stuff, for one. Mephala is “around”, but just not enough. It feels like her best showing is still to come. Secondly, there have been some “off” appearances where it really just seems like she wasn’t into it. A bit more flair, and she would have been competing for a top spot.

#3 -- Nocturnal

Nocturnal gets the bronze because she basically hits every point we can ask her too. She is consistent but still a degree of variety, she has a fairly strong presence in the series, and she knows how to steal a scene. Nocturnal is coming into her own, but she just didn’t have enough of a presence in the earlier installments of the series to win outright.

#2 -- Boethiah

Boethiah earned a top spot just for the wardrobe. Just an absolute ton of variety, Boethiah has fun appearing in new and interesting ways. Really knows how to make an appearance too, usually extremely memorable and just all around fun. Boethiah just barely lost outright to our number one spot, because of a lack of lengthier appearances. A one scene wonder, but a great one.

#1 -- Hircine

Hircine is the winner for most stylish Daedric Prince, and with a safe margin! Hircine uses different appearances to make each scene memorable, and adjusts it to match the occasion. He even usually morphs reality to better fit the tone he’s going for. He really knows how to hold himself, he steals each scene with the atmosphere he oozes. And most of all, he is OUR PRINCE. Hircine has made time for us again and again, he’s even fought us before and made it a fair fight to keep things interesting! He praises us when we ignore his orders, but respects our cooperation when we provide it. Hircine is a class act of a Prince, and one stylish fellow.

I think I enjoy having written more than I enjoy the writing itself.

Diaphonized Chameleon

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