Friendly Faces Everywhere

Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 5: Heartbreaks

After the whole Inquisitor business, we had a day off from school and I used it to hang out with my female friends.

I’m pretty proud of them.

They are turning into little feminists.

It’s a joy to see that.

We decide to all get tickets for the Woman of Rock concert in Denver this Saturday. That will be amazing! I know it!

Yeah, so we had a nice and calm day.

When school was back the next day a pissed Kyle walked past my locker. I was about to go to Tammy’s locker, but I can’t let one of my friends/crush be like that.

“Hey Kyle what’s wrong?”, I call after him.

Good thing he stops and turns to me.

“Morning N.K., did you have a nice day off?”

I walk up to him and place a hand on his shoulder.

“I hung out with the girls, we had a nice day. You, my friend, look like some spit into your cereals.”

Kyle makes a face and explains: “You know I have a little brother. Ike?”

“Mhm-Mhm.”

“Well, I got the new Call of Duty and wanted to play with him, but he rather watches some dude named PewDiePie play it on his computer.”

“What is a PewDiePie?”, I ask confused.

“He's this guy from Sweden who has over 30 million YouTube subscribers. That dude is a big celebrity with kids these days.”

It makes klick in my head.

“Oh, he is a Let’s Player isn’t he?”

Kyle looks surprised at me.

“You know that, but you don’t know him?”

“I look sometimes at youtube videos if I don’t know how to solve a riddle in one of my video games for example.”, I explain to him. “Youtube is full of Let’s Players, but I never really gave them any attention. I just look for a solution if I’m stuck on continuing on playing. Don’t care who gives me that.”

“I wish Ike would do the same thing. He…just watched this PewDiePie play the games he should play with me and doesn’t care anymore.”, he signs defeated.

“Are you jealous, Ky?”

“Maybe a bit. I just want to spend time with my little brother. He can be a little shit, but I love him.”

My heart gets all warm and I want to hug Kyle to death. That’s so sweet!

I look around and find what I need right now.

Janitor’s closet.

I take Kyle’s hand, ignore his questions about what I’m doing, and lead him into it. I close it behind us.

Kyle is clearly confused, till I wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him to me. Now he is red like a tomato but hugs me back.

“N.K.?”

“I know I said that I wanted us all to stay friends and maybe it’s really not fair to Kenny but…you are so hot and cute when you talk about how much you love your brother. I dig it so much, someone who cares for his family. Do you mind if I kiss you, Ky?”

I can’t even look so fast as Kyle plants clumsy his lips on mine. I grin because of his enthusiasm and his clear lack of experience.

The red-haired boy feels this and takes his lips from me.

“Was this bad? Or too eager?”, he asks unsure.

 “It was perfect, now come here.”

I kiss him now.

Our lips slot together and slowly I show him how to kiss right. Our lips meet and part in a hot dance, till I’m sure he can handle it and lick along his lips.

Like a good boy, Kyle opens his mouth to me and we explore each other mouth.

He is a damn fast learner, I give him that.

I’m enjoying myself greatly and I hope he does too. The way he moans as we got more…handsy with each other is a good indicator that he is having the time of his life.

That’s when Kyle gets bolder. Shit! I had a feeling that Kyle is a top. Now I’m the one who moans and has weak knees.

Normally I prefer to top, but as he kisses along my throat, feeling his hands everywhere I have to admit to being a sub to him isn’t all that bad.

It’s amazing and an experience I can only recommend.

“Kyle!”, I moan as he sucks a practically sensible spot on my neck. “I would love to continue. Oh shit, baby, right there! Ah! But, but the school bell.-“

“Lay down.”

Huh?

Drunk on my hormones I blink at him.

The Kyle I see now turns me even more on. His beautiful green eyes have a spark in them I never saw and that smirk! Fuck, it’s hot.

He plants a kiss on my lips.

“Lay down, N.K. I don’t care if we miss the first hour, I’m not done with you. I waited so long to have you with me, dream about it, I’m not letting this chance waste.”, he confesses to me and his burning look could set me on fire right here right now.

I let out a whine and do as he says.

Let’s just say we missed the first hour completely and he had to put a hand on my mouth or I would have moaned so loudly that we would have been caught.

10 to 10 can only recommend skipping school and being with a fiery redhead in a janitor’s closet.

My satisfied smile doesn’t leave me, even after I got detention for missing the first lesson and didn’t have an excuse, to when all girls sat together at lunch break.

All my friends look confused and worried at me.

Wendy leans over to Tammy and whisper-shouts: “What’s wrong with her, her smile is creeping me out.”

“I don’t know. She missed the first lesson and then came the second lesson grinning like that.”, whisper–shouts Tammy back.

“N.K. hun, we love you, but stop it with the Joker smile.”, begs me, Bebe, while all our friends agree.

“I’m just happy, why is my smile creeping you out?”

“Why is your voice all raspy?”, wants Heidi to know. “It’s like…I don’t know?”

“Like she screamed really loud?”, means Red, eating her Mac and Cheese, pointedly not looking at me so she can’t see my apparently creepy smile.

“Yeah, like this.”

Nichole seems to analyze me formally, till she has a conclusion and gasps.

“Someone got down on you, didn’t they, N.K.?!”

Caught I blush crimson red and my friends’ chins meet the floor.

“You are kidding!”, shrieks Annie.

“Damn girl!”, applauds me Red.

“Who was it?!”, demands Bebe to know, while Wendy, Tammy, and Heidi just stare at me. I’m imagining things or does Heidi look sad?

“First of all that’s not the first time someone got down on me!”, I make clear. This earns me surprised gasps and damn girl. “Nor it’s not the first time I got down on someone and can you stop acting all shocked? Thanks. I’m just high on endorphins, that’s why I smile so. Also, it was one of my crushes so…”

“Oh my god, it was Kenny wasn’t it?!”, guesses Bebe.

I can’t help the smirk and drink my glass of water like the thirsty hoe I am.

“No…Kyle?!”, gasp Tammy and all my friends are losing it.

“Kenny and I had our moment when we played Stick of Truth and well today I had it with Kyle.”, I explain.

My friends are losing clearly their shit, only Heidi looks sadder any second.

Huh?

“Heidi?”, I call her. “Is something wrong?”

“N-No…I’m just not hungry anymore.”

She stands up from the table with her tablet.

“I will just…throw this away and maybe hang out at the library.”

We look after her all worried and confused.

“What is with Heidi?”, wonders Annie.

“Never saw her like that.”, agrees Nichole.

“Let’s give her time. Now N.K. you have to tell us all about how good Kenny and Kyle are, I’m dying over here!”, begs me, Bebe.

I roll my eyes but I explain in detail my two…let’s call it adventures with the boys.

After I’m done all look really bothered and red in the face.

“Damn, sis, I don’t want to be in your shoes right now.”, tells Tammy. “This makes it only more complicated whom you should pick.”

…Oh fuck didn’t think about that.

“You didn’t even think about that, huh?”, deadpans Wendy at me.

I groan and let my head fall on the table.

“My thirstiness once again fucked me.”

“At least you got two times good oral fucked before.”

“Bebe!”

“I’m just saying, Wends!”

At the end of the school day, I manage to catch Kenny alone at his locker.

“My princess.”, I call for him. “Can we talk for a second?”

“Hey N.K., what’s up?”, he asks as he puts some books in his backbag.

I sign, nervously rubbing my neck.

“Kenny I…Oh fuck, how do I say this?”

Kenny just titles his head cutely.

“You remember our little…erm…romantic getaway while we played Stick of Truth? After we freed Craig from detention?”  

He stares a second at me, till I hear how he snorts. “Nice description of us both giving the other head.”

“Kenneth, keep it down!”, I hiss. “It’s not anyone’s business.”

“Sure thing babe, why are you asking me that? Wanna go again? Choose me over Kyle?”

I can clearly hear the hopefulness in his jesting tone.

Oh fuck.

Why can’t I control myself better?

What I’m gonna tell him, will surely break his heart.

POLYAMORY!

Brain, not now!

I take all my courage I have to confess: “Actually…me and Kyle had today such a moment. That’s why he was late for class.”

It’s still between us.

A really bad stillness.

I don’t like it one bit.

“So…you choose Kyle? Did you want to tell me that?”, guesses Kenny in such a sad and defeated tone, that I get tears in my eyes. I feel his pain. “Can’t blame you. Kyle is good-looking, smart, and well-off. He can treat you better than I ever could.”

Before he can walk away I grip him by his shoulders.

“Kenny, Kenneth, my princess, that say such things. I told you this because I said we should stay friends and then I got horny and forgot it. I’m at fault here. I like you so much Kenny, I really do, but I like Kyle too. I can’t decide because I’m greedy and want you both.”, I tell him.

“Both? Like at the same time?”, he asks wondering. “Like a harem or what?”

“More like polyamoures relantenship. It’s when three or more people date each other.”, I correct. “But I know I can’t demand that from Kyle and you. You both are straight and don’t have feelings for each other. I will tell this Kyle too and not persuade anyone of you. I rather stay friends with you both than lose one of you. Forgive me, Kenny.”

With that dramatically I leave him.

Tears falling down my cheeks.

Why had this come to this?

It’s Saturday night and our whole girl squad with our mothers are at the Woman of Rock concert.

The atmosphere is amazing and Miley Cyrus slays, yet I can’t enjoy this.

I’m thinking about the heartbreak I inflicted on Kenny and Kyle. All because I’m greedy, chasing after something I can never have.

Both of them.

All my friends and our moms are having the time of their life, only I am the sad one.

Without enthusiasm, I dance and sing along to the songs.

That’s when I see how Heidi is walking in the direction of the food stands.

“Where is Heidi going?”, I yell at Tammy.

“She said she is thirsty.”, she answers yelling back.

Well…it’s not like I have anything better do to. Maybe talking with Heidi and eating a hotdog is better.

I tell my Mamma that I’m going to get something to eat, then I reach Heidi as she buys herself a Pepsi.

I didn’t see it before but…Heidi also looks like she rather be somewhere else than here.

Kinda like me.

“Hey, Heidi. The concert isn’t that great for you too, huh?”

She drinks her Pepsi, not looking at me.

“Yeah, I thought I would enjoy it, but I just can’t stop to think.”

“I feel you.”, I admit. “Wanna talk about it?”

Heidi shrugs her shoulders but agrees. I get myself something to drink too and a hotdog and we sit down at one of the tables.

“You still hung up on Kyle and Kenny?”, she ask me directly.

I sign.

“I told them both that I called it off.”

“Called it off?”

“Heidi, I’m a greedy bitch who wants Kyle and Kenny at the same time. Polyamoures relationship, do you remember I explained to you guys this the other day or so? I know that both will never agree to that since they are straight, so I put an end to this. I will stay just friends with them.”

My brunette friend humms and then looks at me with sad eyes.

Why is she sad?

“But you still like them.”

“That will probably never change.”, I confess, trying to keep my tears at bay.

Kyle and Kenny are both one in a million. I never felt a connection with someone as I feel it with them.

But it’s a pointless dream.

“You know I have a crush.”, startles me Heidi with her own confession. I blink at her, while she smiles bittersweet. “But my crush doesn’t seem to realize this.”

“Then he is an idiot.”

“She.”

…WHAT?!

“Don’t look that shocked…your lessons helped me realize that I actually like girls too.”, she admins, playing with her cup. “And now I have this crush on this amazing girl, yet she doesn’t see it, because she has her own drama going on.”

I just look at Heidi. My gut is telling me I know who she is talking about.

I reach for her hand, squeezing it.

“I never meant to hurt you too! I’m sorry I didn’t see you Heidi.”, I apologize heartfully.

She blushes red like a tomato and looks down.

“You had Kenny and Kyle on your mind.”

“That’s not an excuse to treat you badly. Heidi, you are one of my best friends. Yes, I’m hung up on Kenny and Kyle, but you mean a lot to me too.”

“Don’t give me hope, please.”, she cries silently.

I wipe away her tears and caress her cheek.

“Heidi listen. I thought about asking you out, but I didn’t because of this whole Kenny and Kyle disaster. But I put an end to this. It has no future. But…I can imagine a future with you.”

Now she gasps, crying even more.

“You wanna go out with me tomorrow?”, I ask her. “I will totally understand after all this if you don’t want to.”

She is still for a few seconds till she answers: “I—I would like this very much.”

I can’t help but smile and give her a little kiss on the cheek. Heidi blushes even more.

My heart feels a bit lighter.

Maybe that is what I need right now to get over Kenny and Kyle.

A real date with someone I like and only like them.

Heidi and I return holding hands back to the concert.

Well, the concert ended in a flop as Lorde started to rub her clit in front of us all.

Never so fast did my Mamma pick me up and got me home.

I’m now in my room, telling Tammy on the phone about my date with Heidi tomorrow.

“Not that I’m happy for you that you still wanna date.”, she begins. “But is this really the best way, if you still like Kenny and Kyle?”

“I never said I didn’t like Heidi!”

“Yeah, I know. You said that you would hit her or Bebe up. I’m just…worried okay? For you and for her. Don’t get into a relationship only because you can’t have Kenny and Kyle together. That wouldn’t be fair to Heidi.”

We talk till bedtime about this. I can understand Tammy, I really do, but I also really like Heidi.

I want to try.

Sunday evening approaches fast and it’s time for my date with Heidi.

I picked this time a red dress, with a rose hairband and black shoes.

We agreed on I would pick her up for our date.

I knock on her door and her father opens.

“Hello N.K.”

“Hello Mr. Turner, is Heidi ready?”

“In a moment, little lady. Look I’m gonna be straight with you, I always thought my daughter would bring a boy home, so I’m a bit confused about what to do.”, he tells me. “I know you both are good friends already and treating you to hurt you if you hurt her…hasn’t the same effect since you are a girl and I don’t think you are like the horny boys in your age group…so…just be good to my daughter all right?”

I give it to Mr. Turner he is at least trying. A lot of parents should be like this. Supportive.

“Don’t worry Mr. Turner Heidi is first and foremost my friend, even if this wouldn’t work out I would do anything to stay her friend because I like her.”, I say to him.

“Good, that’s good, little lady. Heidi! N.K. is here.”, he calls back into the house.

“Coming Dad!”

Seeing Heidi in her pretty floral dress makes all doubts vanish from my mind.

I smile big at her and she smiles the same way back at me.

I greet her with a little cheek kiss, taking her hand.

Yes, this is the right decision.

Hand in hand Heidi and I walk into school. We giggle and smile, ignoring the shocked looks of most people.

We walk up to our friend group, who is standing around Bebe’s locker. All are smiling back at us.

At least our friends are on our side.

“Since you both shine bright like diamonds, I assume your date went well?”, it’s a rhetorical question from Tammy.

I wrap my arm around Heidi’s shoulder and kiss the crown of her head. All our friends coo.

“Yeah, we are dating!”, I proclaim.

Our friends start to congratulate us, as I hear Cartmen’s voice: “Oh look at that, the thirsty hoe, got herself a little lesbian. Tired of sucking dicks, huh, bitch!”

I turn around to smash my fist in his stupid face…only to blink at the little commentator window above us, like in a Let’s Play.

“What the fuck Cartman!”

“What is this shit, now?”, adds Wendy, as the other girls agree.

“It’s called commenting. Not that a hippie like you would know, Wendy.”

“Fuck off, Fatass!”, I growl. “Or I will make you.”

“And how-“

I’m not letting him finish.

I jump high in the air and smash my fist against it.

The commentary window is gone.

All aww at me, while Heidi says proudly: “That’s my girlfriend!”

One good thing about this strange ability Cartman now has is that since I destroyed it, people don’t really react anymore to Heidi and me, they ask me to please destroy Cartman’s commentary window when it pops up.

It’s satisfying seeing fatass getting madder at me for any window I destroy.

Still, I wonder how he got that power all of a sudden.

Well, if he plans to get world domination this way I will stop him with my Magical Girl Powers.

For now, I will enjoy my new relationship with Heidi.

As I escort her to her classroom, I see Kenny and Kyle who look at me with…longing I would say.

I ignore them and kiss Heidi’s forehead as a goodbye.

It’s better this way.

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

Welcome to my second blog where I just complain about how it is to be a Fanfiction Writer, waiting for reviews that never come and doubting

The Fox and the Sun

Demon and Demon Slayer in one? A paradox, but you were the living proof. For two good centuries, you served the Demon Slayer Corps as the Fox-Hashira, only in your mind your revenge against the Demon King, who had made you a demon. It took a kind boy with the sun in his soul to remind yourself of your humanity. Fox-Demon!ReaderXTanjiro Kamado

The first part of the prolog is written in the third person, then we switch to the second pov.

I wanted to separate so the past of the reader from the present.

Happy reading now.

Prolog: The Tale of the Good Demon

Long ago there lived a young maiden.

She was as beautiful, as she was kind, loved by her family and neighbors.

Some said that she had something godlike in her, that made her this way.

Of course, such shining light attracted the darkness.

The Demon King himself set his eyes on the young maiden.

One day he come into her home, killing anyone but her.

Turning her into a demon with fox-like features, ears, and a tail.

Kitsune he called her from this day and the young maiden was practically forced to obey him.

But even if she had to kill humans, even if she ate them, she searched for a way to escape this cursed existence.

She still was as pure in her heart as she was in her human life. Any death and harm she caused made her feel disgusted and hated by herself.

Years passed and the young maiden now only known as Kitsune became stronger.

So strong, that the power the Demon King had over her, vanished.

Finally, she could break free from his control and run into the night.

Now free, but still a demon, Kitsune didn’t know what to do.

She roomed the lands of Japan in search to give her life a purpose.

It wasn’t until she stumbled upon an old shrine where the fox goddess Inari was prayed to, that she found it.

Kitsune protected the Miko’s that lived there from evil men, who wanted to steal the treasures of the shrine.

She killed any last of them and the Miko’s thought she was a godsend by Inari herself.

They begged her to stay and Kitsune become their protector.

Life had again a meaning, a purpose.

Again years passed and anybody started to call her Inari, the good demon.

The protector of humankind.

This reached even the head of the Demon Slayer corps.

He came to the shrine with two of his strongest Hashiras.

With humility, he begged that Inari should join them. Become a Demon Slayer and help them against the Demon King.

Inari was unsure.

She lived a good life as the shrine’s proctor.

But the Miko’s encouraged her to go with the Demon Slayers.

Often she had talked to them about how she wanted to make the Demon King pay for what he did to her family, to her…this was a chance do to so.

So Inari joined the Demon Slayer Corps and became a Hashira.

To this day it is said that the young woman with whisker marks on her cheeks with an orange haori is the good demon Inari.

But these are of course only rumours.

It’s a story that gets told in Demon Slayer circles because the family Inari always has a woman as Hashira, nothing more.

Or that’s what you want to make all believe…

Trying to remember your human life…was difficult.

Every year that passed in this cursed demonic existence, you forgot more about your family and yourself.

The smell of your mother’s favorite perfume, your father’s loud laugh, grandmother’s swift hands at needlework, grandfather’s voice which sang you to sleep.

Like fog in the sunlight, it slowly vanished.

You signed and looked up at the sun.

After two centuries you finally could walk on sunny days again. It had been an amazing feeling. Like you have got a bit of your humanity back.

That’s when you heard a well know voice and found yourself with an armful of bubbly pink-green-haired Hashira.

“Mitsuri-Chan.”, you greeted her. “Nice to see you again.”

The Love Hashira greeted you back and then formally smashed your face into her bosom.

You tried your hardest not to turn into a tomato.

Technically you were older than her, but mentally and physically you were still seventeen years old. It sucked to be stuck in eternal puberty!

One of the reasons you so wanted to put Muzan’s stupid face on a stake and then spit on it.

“You look so cute today!”, she complimented you. “I like your new uniform.”

You only changed your stockings, since, like Mitsuri, you wore a skirt, but your friend got easily excited.

One of the reasons you found her so cute.

“So what are you doing here Mitsuri-Chan?”

Here been the house of Oyakata-Sama, where your Hashira’s mostly got your missions.

“Where you called by Oyakata-Sama too?”

“No, I just came from a mission. I think Shinobu-Chan and Tomioka-Kun were called here, like you Inari-Chan.”

“Oh joy, Tomioka.”, you deadpanned, which made Mitsuri giggle.

Nothing against the Water Hashira, but being around him made you more depressed than you already are. At least Shinobu would go on his nerves, which was always fun to watch.

Not for the first time you thought about just throwing these two idiots in a room and throwing the key away. Their sexual tension was annoying.

Humans and their relationships…were you like this when you were human once?

You couldn’t remember.

Hell, you have even forgotten your own name, that’s why anyone called you Inari.

Muzan had fucked you up well.

Anyway, you and Mitsuri said goodbye to each other, since you needed to go to the master and she needed to rest.

You enter the main room in the mansion, Shinobu and Tomioka were already sitting before the master.

You gave a deep bow and excused yourself for being late.

Oyakata-Sama just invited you to sit with them.

Pointly you ignored Tomioka’s disappointed stare and shared a quick hand squeeze with Shinobu.

Your master had exhausted kasugai crow in his lap.

“You did well to return.”, he cooed to the bird. “So, most of my children have been slaughtered? We might find the Twelve Kizuki there, then. It seems I’ll have to send in some Hashiras. Giyuu. Shinobu. Inari.”

For a second you wonder if it would be one of your old "friends".

Netherless you and your Hashira colleagues agreed with the master order.

“If only humans and demons could get along. Like we do with Inari-Chan.”, mussed Shinobu. “Don’t you agree, Tomioka?”

“Impossible… as long as demons eat humans.”

“I haven’t eaten a human in a good 50 years.”, you reminded all, but mostly Tomioka.

“You are strange and old, that’s why.”

“Did you just call me a hag?! I may look seventeen, but I’m still your senpai!”

“Ara, ara, Inari-Chan, don’t listen to Tomioka, you are still as beautiful and young as we first meet.”

Yeah, good that Shinobu was there or you would use your Katana on Tomioka.

Prick.

Good looking.

But a prick!

The master told you to go to Mount Natagumo and prepare yourself for anything.

Later, you would muse about how you didn’t had expect THAT what you encounter on the mountain.

No one could have prepared you for this.

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

Welcome to my second blog where I just complain about how it is to be a Fanfiction Writer, waiting for reviews that never come and doubting

Join my TikTok for Images with your fav characters!

empressofthesunwriter

Tammy the Fighter

I used JRPG Heroine: Dragon Master dress-up game for Tammy’s outfit. She has a purse with her since her class is a fighter and she fights like Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy. In the purse are things like smoke bombs or glitter to give a status effect on the enemy or stun them.

Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

I completely ignored Grounded Vindaloop, because writing this Inception parody in the first person was way too hard and I also didn’t want to.

As you can see from the title today we will have some YGOTAS! :D

If you haven’t watched it, go and watch it LittleKuriboh is a genius.

Chapter 4: With thanks to LittleKuriboh!

All right all I have to say to the day we all tried out the Oculus it was fucking weird and confusing.

So we don’t talk about it.

What I gonna tell you is this!

Thanks to the boys I found out that there is a nerd shop in South Park with all the children’s card games and merchandise you want!

Stan’s Gang got really into Magic the Gathering, which I don’t understand since Duel Monsters is way cooler.

Anyway, tonight was a big tournament not only for Magic the Gathering but also for Duel Monsters.

I’m sitting in the peanut gallery with Tammy and Heidi waiting that the Magic the Gathering duel between Kenny and a boy named Slaughterhouse ends, so I can have my duel with a teenager named Cameron, who is currently Colorado’s Duel Monster champion.

Not for long when I’m done with him.

I shovel my Deck, while Tammy and Heidi whisper to each other.

“Do you get what Kenny and the other boy play, Tammy?”

“Not really. N.K. only taught me about Duel Monsters, but they are some similarities.”

“Blasphemy!”, I whisper-shout at them. “Duel Monsters is way better and cooler. It was even a Manga and Anime that says all!”

Heidi and Tammy look at each other and then giggle. I struck my tongue out at them.

Finally, Kenny wins, we applaud him of course, and it’s now time to d-d-d-d-d-duel!

It is cool from the boys that they stay to watch me now playing, even if Cartman is protesting, but Leo even has made a little poster with N.K. is the best and my favorite card the Dark Magician Girl drawn on it.

I have such a cute little brother.

Anyway, I’m facing now this Cameron.

He is at least 13 and the walking stereotype of a Nerd. With glasses and braces and really old fashion clothes.

Yet I will not underestimate him. You aren’t Duel Monsters Champion for nothing.

I won’t lie the Duel is tough.

Cameron took a bunch of Lifepoints in one turn. Nonetheless, I manage to beat him with only 500 Lifepoints remaining.

Now I’m the new Duel Monsters Champion of Colorado!

I get standing ovations and my best friend and Heidi yell the loudest for me.

I only bow before anyone.

This was amazing!

The next few days I don’t see much from Stan’s Gang since they took on underground dueling with roosters.

Yes, you read right.

Anyway, I’m trying to teach my female friends some Duel Monsters, especially Wendy to get her mind off that no one besides us come to the volleyball games.

But I have to admit.

Since I’m Duel Monsters Champion…I have the feeling someone is stalking me.

I can’t explain it right.

I feel like I’m watched, but when I look or my friends no one is there.

Weird.

I hope it’s not the government! I’m finally settling in in South Park and don’t wanna move again.

Right now I’m in my room sorting my Duel Monsters card.

Normally I would have gone to the volleyball match, but Wendy told me herself if I really feel like being watched I should stay at home and find out if it’s there the same. She is such an amazing friend.

When suddenly my door swings open and Stan runs in!

“Stan, where is the fire?!”, I asked him surprised.

“Oh god, N.K. something happened at the underground Magic the Gathering tournament!”

“Weren’t you watching the Volleyball game, how do you know?”

“I was on the phone with Cartman and Kyle. Then suddenly there was a loud ruckus and then silence. Someone picked up the phone and told me: "Tell Codename: Dovahkiin if she wants to save her friends, she shall come to the playground I’m waiting for her"”

Shocked I jump from my bed and grip Stan’s shoulders.

“Are you shitting me? How did the person sound like?!”

“Pretty young. Oh god, do you think this guy has really Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman with him?!”

Young? A young government worker?

“Let me check something real quick.”

I try to phone Tammy, but she isn’t answering!

Oh god, no, that doesn’t look good.

“That guy has Tammy also?”, speaks out Stan my fear.

“Stan you go home, I will go to the playground.”

“I’m not leaving you alone. That bastard has my friends too…besides Cartman but whatever.”

“All right, all right, let’s make haste!”

We both run to the playground. I have to confess…it’s really creepy there right now.

It’s so dark and still.

I have a feeling the shadows are gripping after us.

We see at the same time Tammy, Kyle, Kenny, and fatass in bonds besides the toilettes.

“Guys!”, me and Stan shout.

As we try to run to them a fucking shadowy wave blocks us.

What is going on?

“N.K., Stan, that guy is a freak!”, yells Kyle. “Be careful!”

Which guy?

A white boy, who has white hair in a ponytail, silver eyes, and dressed in a black tuxedo materialize formally from the shadows.

He looks at me with cold eyes. I feel a shiver all over my body.

“Who the heck are you?!”, shouts Stan.

The strange boy just looks at him and with a hand gesture, Stan gets caught and bonded in the shadows.

“Stan!”, we all scream.

 “You have done your work messenger.”, tells the strange boy in a surprisingly pleasing voice. “I’m here to talk with Codename: Dovahkiin.”

I stare at him, already collecting my energy to transform. My feelings tell me to be alert around him.

“Why did you kidnap my friends and who are you?!”, I demand to know.

He gives me a chilling smirk.

“I wanted to get your attention Codename: Dovahkiin. After I collected data on you these the last days I came to the conclusion then besides the fat kids these are the people closest to your heart.”

“Hey I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!”

I ignore Cartman’s shout.

“I wasn’t imagining things! You were the one who stalked me!”, I accuse the strange boy.

Creepily he titles his head.

“Stalking is such a harsh word. I wanted simply to know more about a follow Codename.”

…WHAT?!

“What does the creepy dude mean by that?”, wonders Tammy.

“He isn’t a government dude for sure.”, answers Kyle. “If he said follow Codename could that mean…”

“Are you like me?”, I end Kyle’s sentence, staring at the white-haired boy.

“Codename: Inquisitor, a pleasure to meet you.”, he tells me with a mocking bow.

I’m just…speechless. There is someone like me? Did the government experimented on him too, as they did on me?

“Why are you doing this?”, I want to know. “If we are the same why did you kidnap my friends and the fatass? We could have just talked to each other. Why the stalking and kidnapping?”

“I’m not like you Dovahkiin.”, begins Inquisitor. He raises a hand and shadows pulse from it. Not only did I gasp in surprise. “I was an orphan and raised by the secret government organization. I had no parents who run away with me. When I was powerful enough I run away. Since then I’m on the run, living and fighting for myself. I know that there was at least one more like me. My opposite. The light to my darkness. The Yin to my Yang. You Dovahkiin. I wanted to meet you. Did you know that the goverment planned to make us breed with eachother?”

No, he is joking?!

I hear how Tammy shriecks a sick, while the boys, beside fatass, their chin meets the floor.

“Why would they want to do this?”, I demand to know.

Inquisitor shrugs his shoulder.

“Why are they doing what they do? They want a perfect superhuman, a weapon they can uses. But this right now is not important.”

“And what is important?”

“I want to see your power Dovahkiin! Fight me and if you win your friends are free.”

I let my transformation energy flow to my body and I’m in my Magical Girl Form.

I form golden light orbs in my hands.

“Bring it on you fake albino!”

He tuts me.

“No Dovahkiin not like this. We shall fight…with a children’s card game you well know!”

“What dude?”, calls Stan in disbelief.

“Is he challenging her to a Duel Monsters duel?”, ask Tammy wondering.

“I think so.”, answers Kyle.

“What the fuck, man!”, say’s Kenny what I think.

“Are you serious?”, I ask to be sure.

Inquisitor laughs and points all around us.

“Didn’t you notice something? We aren’t any more in our world.”

“Fuck that dude, what is he talking about?”, yells Cartman.

I analyze our surroundings. I didn’t realize, but we are in a shadowy purple dome. All is dark and creepy.

No…is this possible?

“You brought us to the Shadow Realm?!”, I shriek. “It’s really real?”

“That’s part of my powers and you know surely how Shadow Games are played.”

Suddenly light and shadow twirl around my left arm forming a Duel Disk out of golden light.

“What the fuck?!”

“We will follow the Battle City Tournament rules and for every Lifepoint we lose we feel the pain in our body.”, explains Inquisitor. “Are you ready to duel Dovahkiin?”

I take out my deck from my skirt pocket and place it in my card holder. Like in the anime, the display shows now 4000 Lifepoints. I’m glad I took my deck with me, or now we would have a problem.

“If I win me and my friends are free, but what happens if you win.”, I must know.

“Simple, you come with me and leave all this behind.”

Beside Cartman, all scream in outrage on my behalf.

“You sick pervert, don’t even come near my sis!”

“Is this a scheme to get N.K. for yourself, what’s wrong with you?!”

“N.K. is not a price you can win! You aren’t better than the government who did this all to her and yourself!”

“What gives you the fucking right to do this?! Hey, motherfucker why don’t you duel me?! I will kick your ass gladly for N.K.!”

“Guys, enough!”, I command them. “I will handle this don’t worry. Inquisitor and his Purple Realm don’t scare me.”

“It’s the Shadow Realm!”

“Really, it kind of looks like purple to me.”

“Silence!”

“I’m just saying.”

Inquisitor looks ready to throttle me.

Ha, I had a feeling he doesn’t know Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series if he is really always on the run. There is no time to see this masterpiece of anime satire.

So I will use the power of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged against him. If he can copy somehow the Shadow Realm I will use any means to defeat him.

Okay, I could beat him in a normal duel fair and square, but even if he is probably the only person who can understand my situation, the fucker threats my beloved people, besides fatass, so I will make him suffer.

“Now, let us begin with the Duel!”, he shouts and a dark shadow Duel Disk appears on his arm.

“Duel!”, we shout together.

Inquisitor has the first turn. Wonder what cards he has in his deck…even if I have a strange feeling that I know it.

And I was right as I see what cards he plays.

He is totally ripping off Yami Bakura from Battle City!

Right now he played Ouija Board Magic Card and is about to explain what it does.

Okay, I know what to do.

“Let me guess, it spelled Disney before, they had to censor it twice!”

The white-haired boy looks at me in disbelief.

“That’s, that’s not what it does! It will spell Death you will lose!”

“I’m just saying.”

“Silence!”

“Or what? Are ya gonna ask the Naruto Abridged fanbase to come to kick my butt?”

“They had a fanbase?”, calls Tammy over. She probably got what I’m playing and tries to help me.

“Touché.”

“Will you stop!”, shouts Inquisitor, while the boys try their hardest not to laugh.

The Duel continues on and the board is nearly finished spelling Disney I mean Death and Inquisitor feel smug.

“Hahahaha! Just one more letter will seal your doom! Without an Egyptian God card you will be—“

I interrupt him.

“Egyptian what now? Oh right, I completely forgot I had that!”

“What? You can’t possibly have one of the cards they were banned!”

“Bitch I might be!”

I sacrifice my three monsters to summon…

“Come forth, Slifer the Executive Producer! I mean Sky Dragon!”

Even the music when the God Card in the anime gets played sounds and Slifer appears in all his executive glory. He really is a bigass dragon, his long body curled around me and then he hover over me like a building.

“Holy fuck!”, curse Inquisitor.

“What's wrong, Inquisitor? Is my God Card really that intimidating?”

“Also, but I’m mostly shocked how you’re actually using music from the Yu-Gi-Oh soundtrack! Your powers are incredible.”

“Buttering me up will not help you. Any last words before Slifer toasts your ass?”

“…I want my mummy…”

“That'll work.”

Slifer attacks him and his life points drop to zero. At the same time, the Shadow Realm vanishes and my friends are free from their bonds.

I run up to them and hug Tammy, Kenny, Kyle, and Stan tight to me.

“I’m glad you guys are okay!”

“That was epic, sis!”

“Hey, I don’t want to interrupt your gay fest.”, calls Cartman over. “But the white-haired asshole is gone.”

“Oh shit!”

I end the hug and look around.

Yep, he is gone.

“Awesome!”, I groan. “That means he will probably appear again in some episodes and get on our nerves!”

Tammy pets my head.

“There, there N.K., you will kick his ass again no worries.”

“My worry is that he becomes like my nemesis and I have to fight him every season final or something.”

In the end, there is nothing we can do anymore.

Only watch the next volleyball game altogether.

The new and improved volleyball game featuring Magic the Gathering. No idea how Stan got this idea, but at least the gymnasium is full of people watching the game.

All in all a win for us.

I will take care of Inquisitor next time.

Can you guess why Inquisitor is called like that and what his real name could be?

Let me hear your theorys!

Till next time :D

Next

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

Welcome to my second blog where I just complain about how it is to be a Fanfiction Writer, waiting for reviews that never come and doubting

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The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Welcome to the semi-last and longest chapter!

We will have a little epilog after that and then start with book two”

I hope you will enjoy it.

Chapter 16: Let’s fighting Love!

The Dark Fortress of Clyde looms in the background as King Kyle and I stand before our people and alias.

This…this is the Endgame.

We all feel it in the air.

Dramatically wind makes our clothes and hair sway as King Kyle speaks: “Today, we are not elves and humans! Today... we fight as ONE!”

“Years later from now on, children will talk and sing about our heroic effort to defeat the Dark Lord Clyde!”, I add. “Let us besiege the army of darkness with the courage of amazons! Let us delve into their dungeon with swords and sorcery!”

“Let us charge our shields and use photon torpedos to vaporize the Klingons!”

A record scratches formally.

I just blink at Kevin Stoley, the one I found the IPad of his dad by the church, returning it to him.

I’m not sure what to say.

For once in a lifetime Cartman interference is welcome. He standing beside Leo, facepalming.

“Kevin, god dammit. Every fucking time, Kevin. God fucking dammit, seriously.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It’s okay.”, I get my bearings back and wave. “Armies of justice and light! PREPARE! Are you ready?!”

I hear loud yeses and agreeing shouts.

“Then... let's kick Clyde’s ass!”

Like an unstoppable tidal wave, we storm the front door of Clyde’s home, while his dad stands beside it, staring at us in confusion.

We enter the garden and the epic battle begins!

It was early on decided that me, King Kyle, Princess Kenny, Lady Tammy, Paladin Leo, Bard Jimmy, and Wizard Fatass would take care of Clyde.

Ranger Stan of course too, but for the moment he helped the Pirates, led by Maplebeard, who is a cute Canadian kid and King Kyle’s brother, get us inside the fortress from outside, while we storm it from the inside.

We battle, we solve riddles, and we climb the tower higher and higher.

Craig awaits us with three Nazi Zombie cows, but we can take away two.

The thief and his cow were nothing.

Ranger Stan joins us now and we continue on.

Clyde has to be in the next room!

But surprise, surprise waiting for us is…

“Dad? What the hell are you doing here?”, asks Stan Mr. Marsh.

“Oh! It's my favorite kid!”, yells Mr. Marsh and kneels down before me. Dude…that’s so not okay to say this when your son is standing right there! “Listen, I found out what they were doing at the women's clinic! They were looking for a candidate to put a snuke into! They're going to nuke ALL OF SOUTH PARK!”

“A snuke?”, repeats King Kyle shocked.

We all feel this too.

That’s so not good at all.

“You boys and girls don't understand. They've put the snuke HERE.”

Even better!

“Who did?”

“Whomever these people are CLAIMING to be Taco Bell! We should've known. We should have known Taco Bell is far too compassionate and caring to be so secretive. The quality of their character, like the quality of their food, should have never come into question.”

“Dad, where is the woman with the snuke?”

“They didn't put it in a woman.”

Mr. Marsh leads us to the person.

It’s Mr. Slave!

He is bonded on a pillar without pants, but thank god his tank top cowers his privates.

Another trauma I don’t need.

“All I remember was that there were these big government guys, and they wrestled me to the floor at my house! And then I remember thinking, well this is fun, but wait, is that a thermonuclear device?”, tells us Mr. Slave what happened to him. “I had some drinks so putting a thermonuclear device up my ass wasn't COMPLETELY out of the question... oh Jesus Christ, how long do I have?!”

“We don't know, Mr. Slave, but it could be a matter of MINUTES.”, answer him, Mr. Marsh.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Pull it out!”

Mr. Slave turns his behind in our direction.

What the fuck?!

It’s not like we can just pull it out of the ass!

But this shows how stupid Cartman actually is because he tries.

TRIES, in big letters, since Kyle slaps his hand away.

“No! We can't just pull it out! Snukes have triggers on them! We have to abort it -- from inside.”

“Oh COME ON! Who knows how to do abortions AND can get really really small?”, counters Fatass.

…I don’t like where this is going.

All beside Tammy have now a thinking face going on, asking who could do this, while we two girls argue non-verbal.

Tammy really wants me to get small, climb in Mr. Slaves’ ass and abort the snuke.

I make clear I don’t wanna do this fucked up shit and if this is so important, she can do it.

It goes like this for a few seconds, till Tammy makes at me the best puppy dog eyes and puckers her lips at me.

…I’m a thirsty hoe…if she really will give me a kiss…oh god…I’m actually doing it!

Gritting my teeth I step forward but grip Tammy by the hand and before she can make it clear that she doesn’t want to join me, I shrink us both.

“Oh, look! The girls are all small.”, points out Mr. Slave.

“Wow, this kid is just FULL of surprises! Quick! Get up there and disarm the snuke! Hurry!”

“No need to tell us twice, Mr. Marsh!”, I call back and formally drag Tammy with me.

“Oh, be careful girls. I might have also put some bats up there the other night.”, warns Mr. Slave.

Tammy gives up and faces her destiny.

She knows without me she can’t grow big again, so she is stuck anyway.

So…yeah we enter a man’s body through his asshole.

Ladies and gentlemen we didn’t reach the Fucked-Up-Meter, we completely obliterated it!

“I hate you so much right now!”, growls Tammy at me.

“Hey, you wanted me to go up this ass! Do you really think I would go alone? Someone has to suffer with me.”, I simply say.

“Fucking shit! Let’s get this over with!”, angry she follows the anal channel? Is it called so? “Next time you take one of your boy toys.”

“They didn’t promise me a kiss.”

I follow after her.

“I regret that too.”

We don’t go far since…a frog with a crown stops us?

What?

What does Mr. Slave put in his ass?

“New Kid and follower, you must find a way out of this place or you will surely die.”, tells us this Frog King.  “The way behind you is blocked by the large sphincter. Make haste to the large intestine! All will be made clear to you then!”

Geez, thanks for that information you strange thingy.

Tammy and I side-eye each other and then shrug our shoulders.

Whatever let’s go.

As we make our way through Mr. Slaves’ ass I could swerve someone is singing a song for me about this adventure.

Maybe I have gone gaga.

After what I experienced these days and now this, it wouldn’t surprise me.

Also, Mr. Slave has a lot of things up his ass.

Like a creepy hand puppet with a Zylinder, corn, and even his own phone.

I don’t have words for all this literary shit.

We kill some Nazi Zombie Bacteria, because of course, why shouldn’t he have this up his ass also, free the bat Mr. Slave warned us, as we encounter another spectral being.

It’s a bird.

“I am the Sparrow Prince.”

A sparrow.

Sure, why not?

I already lost all hope in humanity.

“Like you, I was once used for pleasure as an anal plaything, and thus perished in this place. Now you must defeat my angry spirit in order to move forward. I know I don't really sound that angry, but trust me, I am.”

Of course, we need to battle it.

OF COURSE!

The battle is tough I won’t lie, but Tammy and I are unstoppable together.

We defeat the Sparrow Prince.

“You have proven yourself in combat, young anal plaything. You may journey forth. Find the snuke's trigger and save the outside world. Fare thee met and fare thee well.”

And…he is gone.

Tammy rubs her forehead.

“I will need lots of therapy after this whole shit.”

“Yeah, I was planning an making an appointment next week, wanna come with me?”

Sick of all this we continue on.

Okay, I admit it’s a bit of a surprise finding soldiers guarding Mr. Slaves’ asshole.

“Armed guards? What are they doing here?”, wonders the Frog King.

He and the Sparrow Prince appeared at our sides.

“Whoever seeks to blow up the city clearly doesn't want anyone stopping them.”

“You must get past them, New Kid. Go fuck ‘em up.”

“No need to tell me twice.”

Did I really talk with the two spectral beings?

God, when is this finally over?

Tammy and I defeat the soldiers and finally there is the fucking snuke!

We are so close to ending this!

A new spectral being appears before us.

It’s some kind of fish. Since he lives in a gay man, does it make it a gay fish?

“Hello, New Kid. I... am Catatafish.”

Catatafish of the stomach's cove.

There is again the singing!

“The trigger of the thermonuclear device lies before you. I have tried to solve its riddle, but I have been unable to disarm it.”

Catatafish riddle will soon be told.

“There are only moments to spare. Find a way to disengage the trigger, or all will be lost.”

“Ready to abort this thing?”, ask me, Tammy.

“Let’s get this bread!”

One good thing, aborting the snuke is not as creepy, sick, and disgusting as the other one I did today.

As thank you for the successful abortion Mr. Slave sneezes me and Tammy out of his body.

Well, the mouth is better than the way we came in at least. The three spectral beings who live in Mr. Slaves’ ass appear again, thank me and gift me a crown.

I wait till they vanish to throw it away.

I don’t wanna know where it was and I want to forget all this ever happened.

I make Tammy and myself grow big again.

“Great job!”, praises Mr. Marsh. “You disarmed the snuke. South Park is saved.”

We, girls, give a tired thumbs up.

“Yes. Now let's finish this, bitch. Let's beat Clyde once and for all, and take back the Stick of Truth!”

“Cartman I warn you, my tolerance is really low right now. If you don’t want that I fucking kill you, stop insulting me!”

This shuts him up or maybe my crazy death serious look and our group moves forward to finally face Clyde.

We enter his dark throne room.

Clyde is standing beside a container with the Nazi Zombie goo.

“Fools! You thought you could conquer the Fortress of Darkness!”

“Clyde! Back away from that stuff!”, warns Stan.

“Oh, but I have yet to complete my army! You have come to witness the power of darkness!”

“Stop! Clyde!”, plead King Kyle. “You have no idea what that stuff is!”

“Yeah huh, it's green sauce from Taco Bell. I took it from their construction site.”

“Dude, that's not Taco Bell sauce.”, informs Stan.

“Then why'd I find it at Taco Bell?”

“It leaked out of a UFO, Clyde! It's toxic goo from another galaxy! Think about it! Since when does Taco Bell have a green sauce, dude?”, tells him Cartman.

“Actually, since about a year ago.”, answer him King Kyle, like Fatass asked this really and it wasn’t a rhetorical question.

Me and Tammy roll our eyes as the boys talk about this green sauce of Taco Bell and Clyde being all triumphal since he thinks it’s really this green Taco Bell sauce and not the alien goo.

“Oh my god, can you all stop!”, I shout, losing my nervs. “I crawled up a gay man’s asshole to abort a fucking snuke! I just wanna take a long bad and go to bed and try to forget all this shit. Clyde as the current queen of Kupa Keep give me the fucking Stick of Truth back or I will come over and kick you so hard in the balls that you will talk the rest of your life in a high-pitched voice!”

All the boys make a face at my threat, while Tammy nods in agreement.

“And I will kick too, when she is done!”, she promises.

Clyde is battling for a second with himself, you can clearly see it, but having the Stick of Truth gives him balls.

“You can try, but I have a little surprise for you!”

He lets the green goo flow into a coffin.

…Okay, why didn’t I see it before?

The person who lies in the coffin punches a hole through it and sits up.

It’s a…Nazi-Zombie Chef who sings: “I'm gonna make love to you womannnn...”

All my friends scream, while I just have a WTF-Face.

While we fight him, my friends tell me that he was once the Chef of Elementary School and a good friend of theirs.

Makes me sad for them, that they have to fight their friend.

In the end, Clyde is not happy with Chef’s performance as Nazi Zombie and fucking lits him on fire!

Since I don’t have another choice I send a Dragenshout at him, putting him to rest again.

Now Clyde knows he is fucked and tries to escape, but Fatass blocks him.

“Your eons of torment are at an end, ruler of darkness!”, growls Fatass.

“Um, okay, um, you know what, I'm not playing anymore.”, whines Clyde.

Hah, in the end, he is a little pussy.

“You have broken the rules of the Stick and for that I banish thee. I banish thee...from SPACE AND TIME!”

With that Cartman Sparta kicks Clyde away. He flies off the balcony to the ground below.

Fuck yes, it’s over!

Finally!

“We did it dude!”, shouts Stan happy.

King Kyle turns to me and takes my hands in his.

I blush like a tomato. Doesn’t help that Tammy wiggles her eyebrows at me.

“Dark Magician Queen N.K., your long journey ends here. For all your deeds, and all your time put into this, we all agreed-“

“-Hesitantly-“, calls Cartman in between with a deadpan look, but doesn’t stop it what is happening right now.

“-We all agreed that you shall be the ruler of us all! From now on you will be Dark Magician Empress N.K., the rightful ruler over Zaron and Larnion. Over humans and elves!”

I gasp shocked, while all applaud me, beside Cartman, who just rolls his eyes, but I don’t care.

I don’t care!

They made me Empress, ruler of all the kingdoms!

I can’t.

I look at Tammy and she nods.

Now I know why she said I should bring this along with me…

“Give us a sec!”, tells Tammy, the boys.

We hide together behind a pillar.

Tammy helps me to take off my Dark Magician Girl Cosplay and put on another one.

In my new cosplay I step back to the boys.

All gasp in wonder and I smile prettily.

“Neo Queen Serenity!”, claps Princess Kenny excitedly. “Even with her silver hair!”

Oh god, does this mean, Kenny is a Sailor Moon Fan?! Cool!

I curtesy before my people.

“I will be the best Empress to you and all residents of Zaron and Larnion.”, I promise.

“Quickly, now let's get the Stick back to safety before anyone can do –“

King Kyle can’t even finish his sentence as helicopters appear. From every corner soldiers come…even Eye-Patch-Grandpa is with them!

“We've got her, we've got the Dragonborn.”, shouts Eye-Patch-Grandpa.

Erm…what?

I have suddenly a bad feeling in my stomach.

“The Dragonborn?”, repeats Fatass confused. “What the -- who, what?”

“You can’t run away this time Dragonborn!”, declares Eye-Patch-Grandpa and picks up the Stick of Truth!

“He has the Stick of Truth!”, yells Fatass.

King Kyle turns to me.

“How does this guy know you, Dark Magician Empress N.K.?”

I…I can’t answer him…I’m shaking…I feel like throwing up!

“N.K.?”, whispers Tammy worried, and takes one of my cold hands in hers.

“Dark Magician Empress N.K.? Is THAT what you told them your name was? Why didn't you tell them your REAL name – CODENAME: DOVAHKIIN!”

I…I breath heavy…I’m so…so scarred…flashes are before my eyes…flashes of this man…of these man hunting me!

Even Kyle sees now that I’m ready to freak out and takes my other hand in his.

“N.K., what’s wrong?”

I just grip Tammy and Kyle’s hands tight. I can’t speak! I’m so terrified.

“You don't remember, do you?”, asks Eye-Patch-Grandpa. Well, not really. “How we tried to find you?”

“Look, that Stick belongs with the fighters of Zaron!”, makes Stan clear to him. “Give it back!”

“Fighters of Zaron? Boys and girls what's going on here is much more complex than that. This isn't the first time a UFO has crashed on Earth. You see, in 1947 a UFO crashed in Roswell, New Mexico...”

“Oh, god.”, groans Wizard Fatass.

“Oh, brother, spare us.”, begs Stan annoyed.

“Hang on a sec. A UFO crashed in Roswell and a new government agency was created to investigate the paranormal. Our Agency.”

“Can we skip this? Like, hit the skip button or something?”, wonders Cartman.

“Oh, you don't want to skip this.”

“Yes, we do.”

“Whenever aliens are spotted, vampires run amok, our agency is there and we have never lost a fight. That is...until eleven years ago a certain child was born.”

“Yawn yawn yawn.”

“A child who had an unnatural power inside her. I had been ordered by the President to turn her into an even more powerful weapo, than she already was. So we experimented on her and were successful. The ultimate weapon! But thanks to her parents she slipped through our hands.”

“The government wants the N.K. for her farts?”, say’s Kyle in disbelieve.

“That's dumb.”, adds Stan.

“Her farts? No. Her amazing ability to make friends so quickly on any social network. The day she was born she already had 10 million followers on Facebook. Before she was 5 years old she had 3.2 billion friends on Facebook alone. Do you have any idea the power that kind of gift yields in today's world? It's time to come with us, Dovahkiin. Time to stop resisting and use your gifts for your country.”

“Is he really still talking?”, asks Cartman done with everything.

“Are we really so different, you and I, Dovahkiin?”

“…What about my Magical Girl form?”, I finally found my voice again and…I remember…slowly but surely… ”Is this the result of the experiments you did on me?”

“Ah yes, they are. We wanted you to have extra powers to protect you from any kind of harm. Your social media powers are too valuable to be lost by your early death, so we genetically modified you. It was a success, but instand of using it for your country, you use them to get away from us. You have to do what the government tells you, just like me. We're all just pawns in their game. I'll admit you are fascinating, you have more power than any child I've ever come across. And yet all you seem to really care about... is this.”

Eye-Patch-Grandpa holds the Stick of Truth high above his head.

“It must be very important. What does it do?”

Cartman rolls his eyes.

“Whoever controls the Stick controls the universe, dumbass.”

“Yeah, stupid.”, adds Stan.

“Controls the... but then... I wouldn't have to do what I was told anymore. I could.”, laughs Eye-Patch-Grandpa. “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HAAA! I control the universe! Get back. BACK I SAY! ALL OF YOU! I can do anything. ANYTHING I WANT! AHAHAHA!”

Oh my god, he get’s naked!

I throw up a bit in my mouth.

“I no longer need YOU, Dovahkiin... I control the UNIVERSE!”

He runs away and we after him.

Clueless he waves the Stick of Truth around.

“Er ... damn thing! How does it work? Show me how it works!”, Eye-Patch-Grandpa demands.

“Yeah, right.”, scoffs Stan.

“Dovahkiin, why should we be on opposite sides? Join me, Dovahkiin. Rule by my side. Rule... and you can have THIS all to yourself, FOREVER.”, he tries to butter me up. “I can offer you all! Just get me safely out of here, you can rule with this once again.”

“After all you did to me and my family? Hunting us down from one end of the USA to the another?”, I scream and point at him. “You think I would rule with you?! News flash asshole, you can suck my dick and I will stay with my friends!”

All my friends let out agreeing sounds.

Suddenly Princess Kenny steps forward.

Huh?

“Dude, where're you going?”, asks Kyle what we all think.

Princess Kenny just calmly walks up to Eye-Patch-Grandpa and…takes the Stick of Truth from him?!

She lets out an evil laugh.

We all gasp shocked.

“Princess Kenny!”, shouts Wizard Fatass.

“Top Ten most shocking anime betrayals of all time!”, I can’t help but say this.

I’m just…what?

Why?

“At least one of you has some sense.”, says Eye-Patch-Grandpa smugly.

“You'd sell us all out?”, ask King Kyle in a rhetorical fashion.

“But why, Princess Kenny?”, wants Stan to know, like we all.

Suddenly motherfucking Morgan Freeman appears and explains: “Because Princess Kenny was born a half-orc whose entire village was wiped out by humans and elves. You see when humans and elves lived together in the forests of Hollow Falls, an elven queen fell in love with the orc known as Dandar - the first one to possess the Stick of Truth. They loved in secret and had a child, a beautiful little girl, a girl who watched as everyone she loved was killed in cold blood. And that is why she waited... and plotted... all this time. To take the Stick from you. For Princess Kenny is the true heir to the Stick of Truth.”

“Wow, that's pretty cool.”, admins Cartman.

“Just one thing, Morgan Freeman.”, turns King Kyle to the famous actor. “How come every time something convoluted needs explaining you show up?”

“Because every time I show up and explain something, I earn a freckle.”

And there is the freckle he talked about.

Princess Kenny looks at me and holds a hand out.

“Beautiful N.K., join me. We will rule together over Zaron and Larnion as it should be. As powerful queens! Be my wife!”

All gasp, while my mouth meets the floor and I blush crimson red.

If this is not a declaration of love, then I don’t know what else could be.

“H-Hold on!”, intercedes King Kyle and stands before me. He goes down on one knee, taking my hand. “Don’t listen to Princess Kenny! Stay with us! Stay with me! I actually wanted to ask you this in private but…please would you give me your hand in marriage? I know you are already Empress, but nothing would honor me more than be your husband.”

Even more shocked gasps and I turn so red it needs a new name.

“Damn girl, two proposes in one day, you are a legend.”, whisper-shouts Tammy at me with a proud smile.

I send her a look, before I look from Kyle to Kenny and back from Kenny to Kyle.

Oh dammit, what should I do?

They both made clear they want me!

…There is only one way.

I take my hand back from Kyle and step closer to Tammy.

I shake my head.

“I can’t be neither be your queen Kenny or your wife Kyle.”, I begin and look at the floor. Tammy wraps an arm around my shoulders. “And…not why because I don’t like you…the true is…I like you both equally and that’s not fair to either of you…”

After my confession it’s still for a few seconds before Fatass has to say what he thinks: “Thirsty hoe.”

I just look and point at him.

“You got me there.”

Princess Kenny sends me a sad look but doesn’t use the Stick of Truth to command that I shall be on her side. She just turns and runs away from us.

“Princess Kenny, come back here!”, shouts Fatass after her.

We all run after her and Eye-Patch-Grandpa. We conor them on a high platform.

This feels like the true final boss fight.

“Give us the Stick, Princess Kenny. You don't want to go down like this, brah.”, warns Wizard Fatass her.

Our traitor’s Princess just mumbled something we don’t understand and I shit you not we all see an anime opening starring her.

Okay, first Leo with his anime dude power, and now this?!

Where can I learn this shit?

More time to think I don’t have since we all need to kick Princess Kenny’s ass.

Together we beat her easily.

“It's all over, Princess Kenny. The thirsty hoe is too powerful for you.”

“I swerve to god Cartman, you may be right, but stop it, or I kick you in the balls!”

But Princess Kenny is not done with us. Even Stan and Kyle begging her not to do it doesn’t stop her to drink the alien goo turning her into…

“Aaagh! Nazi zombie Princess Kenny!”, screams Fatass.

“Fuck!”, adds King Kyle.

With an angry shout, the Princess storms us.

I don’t know how long we fight.

We kill her, only for her to come back again!

It doesn’t stop!

“She doesn't stay dead! We can't beat her!”, cries Stan.

“Dude, we're fucked! There's no way!”, agrees King Kyle with him.

“There is one way. We're gonna have to break the Gentlemen's Code.”, tells Cartman.

….Oh hell no! I will not do this! Forget it!

Before anyone can do or say something I step forward.

“N.K?”, calls questionly Tammy.

“Let me handle this…there is another way…”

“Oh really and what one Douchebag?!”

“THIS!”, I shout.

I let the energy flow through my whole being transforming me in my Magical Girl form. This time even with music and end pose!

I flick one of my long pink pigtails, pointing at Princess Kenny, while the others, besides Tammy, are in awe.

“Let’s see who is the better anime princess, my lady!”

We both face off against each other.

My golden light attacks hit her strong and fast. They are the perfect weapon against her Nazi-Zombieness.

Again she falls, but before she can revive herself again, I call for my Magical Girl Wand.

It’s actually the Katana I could finally buy from Jimbo, but in my hands, it transforms into a sword-like wand.

“Holy Light Sword Cut Healing Session!”, I shout my attack.

 It hits Princess Kenny!

All geta swarmed over in a brilliant white light. The light heals all the Nazi Zombies and restores all that is broken/destroyed.

Who needs Miraculous Ladybug?

I can with my wand attack and heal in one!

As the sun raises above South Park all is good again….

I’m detransformed, back in my Neo Queen Serenity Cosplay, and hold into Tammy’s arm.

I’m tired and outpowered by this whole fucking night we have lived.

We are with Cartman, Ranger Stan, and King Kyle at Stark Ponds.

The sun’s rays reflected beautifully on the water’s surface.

“You guys sure about this?”, asks us, Kyle.

“There's no other way.”, tells him Cartman.

“It drove our friend to madness and nearly killed us all.”, reminds us, Stan.

I sign.

“Do it Grand Wizard let this be the end of the Stick of Truth.”

I’m surprised Fatass listens to me, he really doesn’t can’t argue with me over that, now can he, and throws the Stick of Truth into the deeps of Stark Ponds.

To be never seen and used again.

This is for the best.

We stand in silence for a few seconds till Cartman asks: “So what do you guys wanna play now?”

“How about Dinosaur Hunters?”, suggests Stan.

“Or Pharaohs and Mummies!”, is Kyle’s idea.

“Let's ask Douchebag!”, surprisingly Cartman says. “What do you wanna play next, bitch?”

Tammy and I stare at them, then at each other, and then back to them.

“…..I think I will go to bed. I’m tired as fuck. Wanna sleepover Tammy?”

“Yes, thank you. Let’s take a bath before we go to bed. I need to wash away this fucking night.”

I nod in agreement and we girls turn to walk away.

With my back to them, I wave at the three boys.

“Bye Kyle and Stan and screw you Cartman!”

I can hear how Cartman says: “Wow. What a dick.”

“To you not to us.”

“Yeah, the Empress likes me and has admitted to having a crush on the king.”

“Screw you guys, I’m going home!”

We, girls, look at each other and shake our heads.

Boys!

Next

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The Woe’s of a Fanfiction Writer

Welcome to my second blog where I just complain about how it is to be a Fanfiction Writer, waiting for reviews that never come and doubting