Update + Struggles

     ༘      ྀ Update + struggles༣

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TW: I do not glorify any mental illnesses/disorders. This is my journey, please do not follow anything I do. If you’re a minor, don’t interact, please. I won’t feel comfortable. I am pro recovery but not yet ready for that step.

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VENT! ⋆ ࣪. . ` YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ!: My mom is forcing me to eat. They are eating pasta with tomato sauce and tuna, (popular pasta in Italy, I am living in Italy). I just cannot. I had a strong panic attack and now I’m struggling not to cry (I’m very sensitive when it comes to food, rehab made me hate food even more). I asked her if I could take it slowly and have just some tuna and a rice cake.

TW: I will have to pûk€ everything. I hate eating and then doing that. I prefer not eating at all. I feel so unlady like when I force myself to puke. ʚ(T T)ɞ I am so motivated nothing can stand in my way anyway, no matter the situation. If I have to do it, I will.

BRIGHT SIDE › ◟⊹ ˚˖

- for the sake of my optimism and motivation I will add a good side. I’ve worked out after lunch, burning 500 calories at least. woohoo 🥳 (trying not to have another meltdown LMAO).

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(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) edit from the foture: Tried pǔking everything but I couldn’t. Just a little 🗣️🗣️

Coffee and cigarettes taste better after a fast🧸🎀

Doing this for the little girl who got body shamed by everyone.

Good morning empty stomach, welcome thinness! 𖥔 ࣪ ˖ 🤍🦌🩰

｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀

TW: this is my own personal blog. I am not glorifying anything. Please don’t copy my behaviour. If you are a minor, please do not interact with me in any way, I won’t be comfortable with it.

｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀

I woke up at 6 am today, no alarm, but naturally. I don’t feel 100% rested, yet I feel alive and energetic. I am bout to do my skincare and workout. It’s crazy how fasting makes me more productive and energetic than anything else. Is it just me? Anyway. I am already seeing results! My wrists are getting thinner again. I am getting more and more excited about this journey, I don’t even feel hunger because of my motivation! 🏋🏼‍♀️

Background story since this is my first post: I was sent into a rehab and forced to gain weight. I gained it just to escape that hospital. I was skinny when I entered. At home (After 8 months) I weighed myself and I was devastated….. My antidepressants also made me gain weight so I stopped taking them and I am already losing weight like it’s nothing.

｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀