Tw Ed But Not Sheeran - Tumblr Posts
welcome to my edblr blog!
little facts about me:
my name is mischa, i’m seventeen, i’m 🇷🇺 x 🇮🇹 but I live in the us!
stats :
HW: 115lbs / 52kg
SW: 105lbs / 47kg
CW: 95lbs / 43kg, 93lbs / 42kg as of July 7th!!
GW: 92lbs / 41kg
UGW: 90lbs / 40kg
height: 5’5” / 165cm
disclaimers
i am pro only for myself, i don’t encourage this disorder and i honestly wish i didn’t have to go through this but i’m not ready to get help, if you’re thinking about recovering i fully support and encourage that. this blog is mainly to comfort people with similar struggles as me and to hold myself accountable.
please, please block & don’t report. i know it’s alarming to see these kinds of blogs especially if you aren’t suffering from an ed, but my ed won’t disappear because my edblr acc did, this is a safe space for me so please respect that.
I walked out of my room w a crop top on and my mom said “how small is your waist now?? 20 inches??” 😭😭 this is all worth it, literal motivation to keep going
I’m struggling so hard 😭 today is my metab or calorie day but I’m so afraid of eating above 600-700 cals..
I finally got to 93lbs, I have just one lb to go before I reach my gw what if I mess it all up by eating too much?? 😕
Good morning empty stomach, welcome thinness! 𖥔 ࣪ ˖ 🤍🦌🩰
｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀
TW: this is my own personal blog. I am not glorifying anything. Please don’t copy my behaviour. If you are a minor, please do not interact with me in any way, I won’t be comfortable with it.
｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀
I woke up at 6 am today, no alarm, but naturally. I don’t feel 100% rested, yet I feel alive and energetic. I am bout to do my skincare and workout. It’s crazy how fasting makes me more productive and energetic than anything else. Is it just me? Anyway. I am already seeing results! My wrists are getting thinner again. I am getting more and more excited about this journey, I don’t even feel hunger because of my motivation! 🏋🏼♀️
Background story since this is my first post: I was sent into a rehab and forced to gain weight. I gained it just to escape that hospital. I was skinny when I entered. At home (After 8 months) I weighed myself and I was devastated….. My antidepressants also made me gain weight so I stopped taking them and I am already losing weight like it’s nothing.
｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ ｀、ヽ｀
Update: lunch. 🍽️ ⊹ ᨘ໑.
╱╳╳╳╳╳╲╱╳╳╳╳╳╲
TW: I do not glorify any mental illnesses/disorders. This is my journey, please do not follow anything I do. If you’re a minor, don’t interact, please. I won’t feel comfortable. I am pro recovery but not yet ready for that step.
╱╳╳╳╳╳╲╱╳╳╳╳╳╲
I skipped breakfast and did some cardio, I felt very lightheaded and dizzy so, I haven’t done much: Some stairs and a lot of walking. I’ve burnt 330 calories in total. I feel nauseous after eating so much, even if I ate very slowly.
LUNCH~ 220-255°calories
-two pieces of cottage cheese, not measured but not more than four bites. Very good.
-cherry tomatoes
-one rice cake (extra low calorie version)
water drank until now: 1.5 L
🩰 ּ ﹗ ˖ ་ 💭 !! I tried calculating them accurately but, I’m still pretty much training my eye at the moment. The food description wasn’t so clear, especially the cheese since it was very fresh and organic. The only thing with a clear description was the rice cake, 35 calories each.
༘ ྀ Update + struggles༣
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TW: I do not glorify any mental illnesses/disorders. This is my journey, please do not follow anything I do. If you’re a minor, don’t interact, please. I won’t feel comfortable. I am pro recovery but not yet ready for that step.
╱╳╳╳╳╳╲╱╳╳╳╳╳╲
VENT! ⋆ ࣪. . ` YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ!: My mom is forcing me to eat. They are eating pasta with tomato sauce and tuna, (popular pasta in Italy, I am living in Italy). I just cannot. I had a strong panic attack and now I’m struggling not to cry (I’m very sensitive when it comes to food, rehab made me hate food even more). I asked her if I could take it slowly and have just some tuna and a rice cake.
TW: I will have to pûk€ everything. I hate eating and then doing that. I prefer not eating at all. I feel so unlady like when I force myself to puke. ʚ(T T)ɞ I am so motivated nothing can stand in my way anyway, no matter the situation. If I have to do it, I will.
BRIGHT SIDE › ◟⊹ ˚˖
- for the sake of my optimism and motivation I will add a good side. I’ve worked out after lunch, burning 500 calories at least. woohoo 🥳 (trying not to have another meltdown LMAO).
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(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅) edit from the foture: Tried pǔking everything but I couldn’t. Just a little 🗣️🗣️
Good morning!
TW: I do not glorify any mental illnesses/disorders. This is my journey, please do not follow anything I do. If you’re a minor, don’t interact, please. I won’t feel comfortable. I am pro recovery but not yet ready for that step.
፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧
My parents are away! They will be away all day. YEPPIII, I can be hungry in peace now. Last night I felt so nauseous and empty…. Does anyone know any ways to prevent that? It’s my only problem.
፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧፧
Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ . ݁ My pictures 𓄹͓ ˖࣪
🩰🤍
I have a love hate relationship with my arms and hands. I never feel like they are skinny enough. I had waaay better hands before “recovering” at the start of the year. (•᷄ࡇ•᷅)
︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦'︶꒦︶
Morning sunshines ¸𓏲࣪ ˚.꒷
TW: I do not glorify any mental illnesses/disorders. This is my journey, please do not follow anything I do. If you’re a minor, don’t interact, please. I won’t feel comfortable. I am pro recovery but not yet ready for that step.
Skincare done, shower done and… my favourite part: scented body creams and body moisturisers!! The best thing ever. I love my pale and soft skin. 🤍
I had half a peach for breakfast, didn’t weigh it though. Oof, So I don’t know the calories exactly but I feel so good! Yesterday I only had a rice cake with egg whites, then refreshing cold water with lemon and fresh mint leaves from my garden!⊹ ִֶָ✧ 🧸
Coffee and cigarettes taste better after a fast🧸🎀
my ed/bpd follows me everywhere, even all the way to my dreams. and im just so tired, sleepy, exhausted, and have so many things i need to do today...
god i just want a moment of peace.
guys i finally broke out of the 60kgs jail omg i weighed myself AFTER eating today and was 59.9kg im actually so happy and even more motivated
i have ten days before school to get skinny. I'll try to ⭐ ve and be on diet of cigarettes, yogurt, banana and juice. my main concern is my arms and stomach. need an ana buddy or a friend 🎀🌷
binged today because I'm going away for uni soon. Let's hope i can get back to eating less when I'm there. if you have any tips on how to not die ⭐ving in summers please tell me 🎀🌷
What I ate :
Breakfast/ Lunch: Arabiata pasta 🍝 (300-400 cal)
After eating I was feeling bad so I did a workout. Never eat while watching Netflix istg, it makes you eat more, I took a small portion for myself but I was watching modern family and then I ate more. Drinking more water today. I'm feeling good now that I did the workout, I'll try to do anything ab workout in the evening so that I can eat dinner.
drank mango smoothie now I'm feeling terrible because it was 200+ cals and I'm supposed to be restricting 😡😡
my sister just called me FAT 🥰
starving after 12 hours is so satisfying, i have a headache, I feel light-headed this is the best feeling