Mustve Hurt Watching Your Siblings Reunite With Each Other After Max 3 Years And Everyone Getting Hugs

Must’ve hurt watching your siblings reunite with each other after max 3 years and everyone getting hugs and stuff, happy they see each other while you went missing for 17 years and got back like a week ago and even reuniting for the second time all you got were confused faces and a cold shoulder, no one even saying they’re glad you’re back and being told everything’s your fault

Dark Percy - Evolution

Percy, after Gaea, still has nightmares every nights about tartarus, and wakes up in cold sweat every night. He could talk to Annabeth about it, or to Jason, or to- to anyone, really. He would, if it wasn’t for this tiny, treacherous voice that somehow is always there in his mind, whispering that no one can help. No one is willing to. No one cares.

Jason told him ‘I think I get it.’ and said no more. Leo - well, Leo isn’t there, is he, but he wouldn’t be right for that conversation. Frank wouldn’t be the right person to talk about it with, either, and nor would any others. And Nico avoids him like the plague since his declaration, and truthfully Percy knows he will have to talk to him about it, but like always that voice tells him it will be useless. No one listens to him, not really.

Annabeth, the only one he could talk to, doesn’t want to talk about this. The last time he tried to broach the subject, she said “Don’t.” and that was the last of it. She has nightmares too, but when he wakes her up, and lets her cry in his arms, shuddering, trembling, he can’t help but wonder if she’s remembering the monsters - or him.

Sometimes, he wonders if he is one of the monsters in her nightmares.

Of course, once she stops breathing too hard, once she stops being that lost girl that has seen too much, once she stops confusing nightmare and reality - once she stops flinching when she sees his faces cast in shadows… Once she stops, and regains some of her bearing, she doesn’t talk about it.

“I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to relive…” she trails off, eyes distant, then she smiles, a thin, forced little smile. “It’ll get better.”

And she starts talking about their plans, about graduation, and college in Camp Jupiter. She talks about the future, about her dreams, about architecture, and Percy listens and smiles, and nods. And inside of him, deep down, that treacherous voice wonders how she can talk about the future - how she can even think about it, when he’s still trapped in the past. When his own future seems blurry and dark and poisonous.

No, Annabeth doesn’t want to talk about her nightmares, and tartarus. At least with him. They think he’s unobservant. They all have always underestimated him, thought him oblivious - but he knows. He sees the way Hazel, and Piper, look at him sometimes. He has heard the hushed whispers, one evening when he went to see Annabeth and found her with the others. She talks to them.

She’s scared of him.

To be fair, he scares himself too, but the realization that no one is willing to help him like he tries to help them so often, leaves a sour taste in his mouth, like poison, like firewater. It makes the glass pieces inside him sharper, and nothing Annabeth can say or do seems to soften them again.

He starts to get headaches. Migraines.

At first, he thinks it’s the lack of sleep. Too many nightmares. Too many things he’d like to say. Too many thoughts in his head. Too much that doesn’t go away and that he doesn’t know how to control.

So after some time spent with a killer headache and the feeling he will never sleep again, he decides to go where he always felt best - in the water. One night, he simply has had enough, and jumps into the sea, goes underwater, and lets the waves comfort him, soothe him.

That’s when he realizes that he’s hyper-aware. He can feel the water around him more astutely than ever. He can feel the ground, too, in a different, more muted manner. He always could, but for some reason, now he is more sensitive. He feels like a sonar that no one thought to disconnect. But the water is soothing, and it overloads him in a good way.

He always feared drowning, but as he falls asleep at the bottom of the ocean, he wonders if it wouldn’t be the most peaceful way to go. The best option, really.

The next morning, when he gets out of the water, he hasn’t drowned. He also is still hyper-aware, but now he gets why. He can sense every water drop, every fluid everywhere. The moisture in the air, the water in the plants, his own blood thrumming in his veins. In a daze, he wanders into camp - and there he stops dead the first time he crosses path with someone, because he can feel their own blood thrumming in their veins too. And not only that, but every fluid in their body.

It’s terrible, and wrong and- and yet, he can’t help but feel fascinated. So much power, just as the tip of his fingers. He could just extend his will, the way he never dares to, and he could control everything. He could bend the grass. He could bend people… The glass shards inside of him rattle, and something twists in his gut. He looks down, horrified with himself for even thinking about it.

It will pass, he thinks as he sits down and takes a soda. It will go away.

But it doesn’t. It doesn’t - it actually becomes worse. Every water molecule, every fluid, he can sense. He can control. After a week of restraining himself, he waves a hand over a patch of grass, and watches in amazement as the grass follows. Then he doesn’t move at all, and still the grass twists like he wants it to. It bends, and twists, and with just a twitch of his finger, grass strands are ripped off the earth, turned to shreds, controlled by the water inside them.

Percy wonders if he could do the same to a monster - rip their limbs off, rip their heads. Make them last. Make them suffer.

The thought is so strong, so surprisingly exhilarating and exciting that it shocks Percy out of it. Whatever it was. He vows to himself to never stray down that path - Annabeth’s voice comes to him, telling him that some things aren’t meant to be controlled.

It’s easier said than done. Now that he knows, he has to make the conscious effort to take his soda by hand every morning, instead of just summoning it to him using the fluids. He has to make sure that some of his most violent urges stay that way - urges, that he doesn’t act upon. It’s hard, though. It could be so easy to make Clarisse shut up, simply make those little veins, and the moisture in her skin, go that way, and her mouth would be shut. Hell, with a little pressure there, she would choke on her own saliva.

That night, just like every night that week, Percy goes to sleep in the sea. Being surrounded by water calms his nerves, calms his senses, mutes down everything. 

For the next week, again, Percy tries his best, but it becomes unbearable. He has to try. And he’s terrified that he will give in to that urge - that he will hurt someone. He’s terrified that one day he will act by accident, a reflex that will send his friends against the wall like flies against a windshield. He’s terrified that he will hurt someone, but at the same time there is still this urge, primal and feral, to use his powers to their fullest extent. To slaughter monsters.

Two days later, Sally Jackson opens her door to find her son there. Of course, the first thing she does is telling him off for disappearing, for risking his life again, for not coming to visit sooner - then she notices the bags under his eyes, the twitch in his fingers, the way his sea-green eyes dart around, focusing on things she cannot see. She bites her lip.

“You look terrible,” she says. “Will you ever stop fighting ?”

Percy wants to laugh at that, but refrains - it would come out bitter, jagged, too sharp and dark, and she might look at him like Annabeth looks at him those days. He will never stop fighting, he knows. There is fire in his blood, destruction in his name, disasters in his inheritance. The sea can never be tamed, can never settle down. He doesn’t tell her this, because he doesn’t want her disapointed - and maybe, she knows after all. Instead, he smiles, something not quite warm and not quite large enough, and a bit crooked but still. He smiles, and says.

“For now,” he says. He hesitates, then. “Can I stay here for some time ? I need-” space, time, isolation, love, an anchor, “-some holidays.”

“Oh,” Sally looks surprised for a moment, then very pleased. She smiles softly at him. “Of course you can stay, Percy. This is your home too.”

Home. Percy lets her draw him into a hug, and tentatively hugs her back - though his fingers still twitch, and he can feel her heart, and her blood so near. He can sense the humidity of the air, can sense the plants growing on the balcony, two rooms away. Can sense people, in the appartement bellow them, and next to them, and something small - maybe a dog. He senses the canalisations, like veins in a rock body that is this building. His head is still aching. His blood is calling for fights to come. 

He wonders if it’s fair of him to expose his mother to the monster he is slowly becoming. He wonders if she’ll let him sleep in the bathtub, if she’ll let him lock the door just in case. He wonders if, maybe, with a bit of luck, he’d drown one night, in his bathtub. He wonders if the fact that the idea is oh so tempting makes him selfish.

“Yeah,” he finally rasps out, and it sounds distant to him. “Home.”

And he wonders if one day he will truly have one of those.

I like to imagine Jack having vague memory flashbacks/nightmares of his life as Nightlight, and his ice forming echoes of his armor and spear if he loses himself in it. Because I am a sucker for angst.

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

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In a fanfiction I had someone say that if it weren't for Percy's fatal flaw of loyalty, he never would have sided with Olympus at all, or drown a bunch of children in a river. That he picked sides based not on what his morals or beliefs were but based on which side had people he was already friends with. And I spinned the loyalty flaw in that way.

i see that, but again i don’t think that’s necessarily true. I just think he has a strong moral compass. He’s ANGRY at the gods, and i genuinely believe that if he knew people wouldn’t get hurt in the process, he wouldn’t hesitate to go against the gods, but hurting innocent people goes against his morals. he feels no loyalty to the gods whatsoever, his drive is to do the right thing, which in every instance has just so happened to be in favor of the gods. The ONLY reasons he didn’t side with kronos is 1) he didn’t want to cause destruction and death, and 2) when you boil it down, he didn’t agree with the fundamentals of kronos’ side. I think at one point in the hoo, percy actually mentions something about sympathizing with luke (correct me if im wrong), and as we can see throughout that series, he is tired of everything related to the gods.

 he’s constantly trying to keep himself in check, like with akhlys, like when he’s just about ready to kill nico in tlo, we see it in his inner monologues, the scene in ttc with thalia, the scene in tlo with luke where percy gives him the knife, the scene in moa where he is with annabeth before her solo quest. In all of these situations, percy is struggling to be in control of the situation. he has a constant desire to control the things around him, which stems from his upbringing (being abused and bullied will do that to a person). 

a lot of his story is spent in a battle for control, and when he loses control of a situation (think akhlys, or that scene in boo where he is suffocating in the poison) is when things start to become fatal. if it wasn’t for annabeth in the scene with akhlys, he would have completely snapped and lost it, and there’s even a quote there where he explains that “something inside him shattered” or something along those lines. who knows what he would have done after that, but im willing to bet it wouldn’t have ended well. Ironically, he has to control his desire for control constantly. 

I think one of the things that makes this flaw so deep is the fact that “control” encompasses so many things! Control includes his loyalty, his recklessness/impulsiveness, his rage, his power, his emotions, and way more!

and the whole “loyalty” thing is experienced by other characters, too. Annabeth jumping in front of the knife in tlo stems from her loyalty to percy. Percy trying to save annabeth in moa (which ultimately fails, but) stems from his loyalty to her. Clarisse fighting in the battle of Manhatten after silena dies stems from her loyalty to silena. thalia not joining kronos in ttc stems from her loyalty to family (annabeth). luke making the decision to take the knife and end it in tlo stems from his loyalty to the promise he made (despite getting a little lost along the way). 

I don’t think it’s fair for his flaw to be loyalty when its not properly explored, and so many other characters also experience the same sense of loyalty.

a lot of this is just rambling, but it’s 1 am and think this gets my point across enough? in conclusion, loyalty is something he struggles with control over, therefore, it is just a small piece of his fatal flaw, control.

really love that the lightning thief set percy apart as overpowered from the get go like twelve years old and he beat the literal god of war in a sword fight?? zero training and killed the minotaur with its own horn?? twelve year old percy could do laps around every single character why do we keep pretending as if there’s actually a debate to be had over which demigod is the most powerful smh