This Is A Revelation. Im A Woman Who Very Rarely Gets Compliments (or Harassment) From Random Guys, Or

This is a revelation. I’m a woman who very rarely gets compliments (or harassment) from random guys, or from obviously sexually/romantically-interested women. But since I grew up knowing I don’t have much control over whether or not I’m objectified, and knowing being seen for my body goes along with not being seen as equal or powerful, I’m super sensitive about feeling like I’m being objectified, including sometimes snapping at my male partner for crossing a line. I never thought that I might just have more experience receiving and giving body compliments.

But it’s true, I get plenty of validation about my body from female friends and random women on my outfits, hair, etc. I never thought about how lonely it must feel to never have that from my friends. If I tally them up, I probably have dozens of hours and hundreds of phrases’ worth of practice in giving compliments that feel nice to other women and getting compliments that feel nice to me. If I’d never had that, how would I express myself when I found someone attractive? How would I ask for attention to my own appearance, taste in clothes, body?

(note: I have no romantic or sexualized experience myself, so I admit *some* of these points rely entirely on secondhand stuff and media)

One thing I think is not talked about very much is that straight men live pretty much desexualized lives if we’re not actually having sex at that moment, and then there’s not much room to be the object rather than subject.

As I’ve said before, we men don’t have clothing options for “dressing sexy” in masculine clothing (there is cross dressing but that is different). There’s no male equivalent to the short skirt or low cut top. There’s no male lingerie that isn’t seen as a joke.

Further, we just don’t get validation for our sexuality outside of a sexual partner. We are almost never complimented for our looks or sexiness from platonic friends like women are, especially same sex friends.

There really aren’t many straight male role models for raw aesthetic sexiness in mainstream culture (besides unnaturally muscled men). In fiction, male characters are almost never attractive for embodying sexiness but rather for doing things (saving the world, being extremely witty, being a genius, winning the tournament, etc.). Their sexiness is non-aesthetic and sometimes is in spite of their aesthetics.

Anecdotally, it seems like a lot of men aren’t even called physically hot and sexy by their own sexual partners, who themselves focus on personality. There’s not much room to fulfill the role of passive sexism object for you partner for many/most men.

I think it is telling that a lot of porn for men ignores the man’s personality and has a woman just throwing themselves at the man, overcome with lust.

Also there the fact that women seem to rarely approach men and some seem to often expect the man to do most of the sexual escalation, especially in the early stages.

We talk about women of color or women who are disabled being sexualized, but we don’t talk about how all straight men are desexualized and denied the ability to be sexualized object.

please support this interracial french gay couple and their 20 kids

Miss Peru 2018 contestants gave statistics about women's rights

In LOTR “Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys” implies that Orcs know what a menu is, and have therefore been to a restaurant. I wonder what a restaurant in Mordor is like.

greekgodsarestrange

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“movies that have some asshole or monster claim to be a god and so some…”

I can’t help but feel that the Jewish people should not be proud of israel meaning “he who fights with G-d.” It’d be like Christians being called “those guys that really hate Jesus”

Your big mistake was taking xtianity and trying to apply it to Jews, Judaism, and our relationship with G-d.

You can not on a fundamental level apply xtianity to Judaism because they are nothing alike and highly incompatible.

To understand this concept of fighting G-d you have to solely look at Judaism otherwise it won’t make any sense.

See xtianity sees fighting with god and takes that to mean one hates god.

Jews see fighting with G-d and we go ah that person loves G-d.

Fighting with G-d to Jews is an expression of love. It is a massive aspect of relationship with G-d. 

There is a reason that there are many atheist Jews and those Jews are some of the most like hardcore Jews ever.

There is a famous story of two Rabbis arguing about something in the Torah and finally after much back and forth The Voice of G-d speaks to them and says Rabbi A is correct.

So Rabbi B says to The Voice of G-d that might be, but You gave us the Torah for us here on Earth to understand and interpret so what you say is correct has no bearing on this argument.

G-d starts to laugh and says “Look at how wonderful my children are”

To Jews, G-d is not necessarily necessary to the equation.

So to fight G-d is rather an expression of love rather then hate.

Fighting G-d whether you be like Yakkov who physically fought G-d or if be a battle of words like pretty much every Jew ever is a basic core of Jewish culture.

No matter where in the world we are, no matter how far we are from each other, no matter what the one thing you can always count on is that fighting G-d will always be apart of Jewish culture, Judaism, and the very nature of every Jewish person.

Why is one the most important words in Judaism. Why allows us to explore the world, ourselves, and each other. Why helps to debate and to understand. Why lets us argue with G-d and Why helps to become closer to G-d.

One of the fundamentals of Judaism is to ask questions and question everything.

Question your leader, question yourself, and question G-d.

When we question and fight G-d we don’t come away hating G-d or rejecting Judaism. Rather we come away with a deeper understanding of everything and with a further love of G-d.

To G-d there is nothing as wonderful as when a Jew comes and fights with G-d.

And to a Jew it is one of the most fundamentally Jewish things they can ever do.

Hugh Hefner was a giant in publishing, journalism, free speech and civil rights. He was a true original and very progressive, and decades ahead of the rest of the U.S. He always hired African Americans at a competitive and fair wage. Hef insisted on interracial casting of his TV show, even when Southern stations threatened to boycott. Hef was the first.

Hefner long before he became sort of a doddering caricature was a STRONG voice for Civil rights and free speech issues. RIP Hugh.