Mystic Messenger Route

mystic messenger route

I DID IT OH MY GOD

i was so nervous NO BAD ENDING FOR ME yet

this is the first time i survived past day 4 hehe

i guess jaehee being the image means im on jaehee's route? oopsie. i wanted to go in the recommended order to introduce the full story, so zen was first

...but i couldnt help myself.

i was really nervous though cause you can't just be friendly with everyone, you kinda have to prefer one over the other?? so i was scared i was being too nice to yoosung, or jaehee, or 707 (jumins probably my least favorite. i am taunted by jumins bad ends.)

but they're all really enjoyable people??

i guess i didnt get zen though because there were cringy stuff you kind of have to say to do his route (i wanted to question the 'have to' because like.. hell no)

like uhh. 'i want to see you take a shower' which nAHH NO THANK YOU snicker

i mightve been too nice to jaehee but do i regret it? no. honestly ive spoiled it myself so i probably dont need to do it in the recommended order

but also. oh my god i need a stupid amount of hourglasses

and the only other routes im actually interested in are like.. 707 (mans cool n funny) and ray (im curious. ive heard it gets unhealthy, but look if there was a specific person id choose based on appearance, itd be unknown ofc)

but okay deep story (for 707) is 200 hourglasses

and another story (ray) is 250

i mean ive earned like 30 something so far (converting hearts into hourglasses. i didnt even know that was a thing before sob)

so its probably reasonable. but aGHHHH

anyway im also curious about v. but does he get my hard earned hourglasses? hell nah. anyway to save up ill probably have to do, of course, the recommended order. casual story, deep story. and then probably another story.

sigh or well. ill see when i get to it? ill have to do the other routes to 1. get hourglasses. 2. enjoy the story. also im terrified of bad ends. honestly when i first played the bad end was stupidly creepy that it scared me off haha

so anyway i have like 6 days of happy gay times, and if i recall correctly jaehee's is where i need to promote like her independence and to relax and stuff like that. i am SO up for the cute cg's aghh

(not to mention. i think they were called dlc's? aghh)

honestly. i kind of wish i could be one of those writers who have those kinds of notes. but i also don't really do anything and it's probably pretty fortunate that my life's been mundane.

off the top of my head, anything that's remotely similar-ish only lasted for like a day? ..Also they both only happened during primary school? Hello???

i mean. uh. i went to foster care for a weekend or so (i honestly can't remember how long it lasted. i think it might've been longer?) but i don't really think moving houses temporarily is cause to stop the fanfic grind. unless something traumatic happened which oops

Stiles & Other Stiles Dream Sequence

disclaimer: i have never seen teen wolf. all my knowledge comes from fanfiction. also spoilers

been having brainrot over this. ive been thinking about this since yesterday but like 'no. im not gonna write it'

..but now ive folded because i cant stop thinking about this conversation. maybe some of the dialogue feels weird. but thats because the first convo i came up with that probably ran a lot smoother i cannot remember. and i never wrote it down

[where the sheriff is dead]

the sheriff dies

stiles is all sad like '..i never got to tell him the truth.'

dream, where theres two stiles (would be void, but. idfk where in the timeline this would be and if that wouldve happened. well not void void but like. teh stiles that 'was' void. the thing of void that remained even when the actual thing left)

Other Stiles: You know what I think you feel? Relief.

Stiles: What?

Other Stiles: I think you felt relief. There's no one you would have to lie to anymore now that he's gone. No more tough conversations, no more facing his disappointment-- Just you and yourself. And now you can do whatever you want without worries of consequences.

Stiles: (..It didn't even occur to me..) No! That's not..!

Other Stiles: But isn't it? This isn't livable, y'know. Sneaking out every other day, researching till exhaustion hits you so bad you black out. He thought you did drugs. Ending up in the wrong sort of crowd. And no matter how much he grounded you, made you do chores, lectured-- it didn't work. And he probably thought, 'what am I doing wrong?' 

Stiles: ...

Other Stiles: And you know what? Love can so easily turn into hate. Resentment. You know how he gets when he goes into one of his drunk stupors. Remember?

Stiles: No...

Other Stiles: When mom died. Remember what he said? 

Stiles: Stop it!

Other Stiles: You killed her.

Stiles: Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!

Other Stiles: No matter how much you tell me to shut up, it doesn't change the fact that I'm correct. You want to know what he thought of you?

Stiles: No!

Other Stiles: You already know. After all, he tried everything! He gave you space, he tried to be there, and you just didn't budge. Because no, you were just too stubborn. Just like mom. You know, she didn't even tell dad about her diagnosis until months passed because she knew he'd be crushed. And you know what? He feared that you were doing the same thing. That one day he would find you dead in a ditch. And everyone would see you as just another drug addict who got a little too high and fucked up, and would spit on your name. Or you know what? Not even give a crap.

Stiles: Stop it...

Other Stiles: So if he wasn't the one doing anything wrong, then it was you. You were wrong.

Stiles: No...

Other Stiles: You were messed up and he had no idea how to fix you. What was the point of hiding anyway? Oh wait, I know! Because dear old dad loved you, but he didn't trust you. No, you broke it. And it was too late.

Stiles: I know that. I know that it was too late... I..

Other Stiles: Hell, maybe if you sprouted crap about werewolves and hunters, he would've given up right then and there. Because you were delusional, weren't you? And who knows, maybe if you told him at first, maybe he would've believed you. Or maybe he would've thought you were lying. Maybe he would've gotten mad. Like, who the hell are you to try to reason real life murder cases with fantasy, right? *laugh*

Stiles: ...

Other Stiles: No, how dare you? This isn't time for fun and games, Stiles! You think he would've said that? Maybe he would've been disgusted by you and your blasé attitude towards such a tragedy. Such a loss of life. 

Stiles: ..That's not..

Other Stiles: You think you could've gotten proof? Everyone knows Scotty'll follow you. So what if he backs you up? Doesn't mean a thing. Besides, he was chasing after a girl, you really think he would've dropped it to prove to your dad, 'hey, I'm a monster!' And you know Derek would never have been up for it. No point in trying.

So all that's left is you and your words. Does he trust you? Does he trust you enough to believe what you're saying? 

Stiles: ..Just stop it already.

Other Stiles: You know the answer. He wouldn't have believed you. Maybe he even hates you for having such a shitty son. Can't do anything right. Remember Jackson? Never would've thought it was in you to pull such a 'prank'. I thought I taught you better. Y'know?

Stiles: ..You're such a liar. I didn't feel relief. I never did. So what if there were hard times!? He was my dad! And I didn't make it any easier for him.. We still loved each other..

Other Stiles: Did he?

Stiles: Just! I don't need this right now. I don't need you trying to undermine everything and--

Other Stiles: Am I wrong?

Stiles: Just shut up! Just shut up for one second. I don't know who you are, why you're me, where these thoughts are coming from, I just-!

"Stiles?"

He opened his eyes.

The teen shuddered, feeling all sweaty and gross. 

"Wha..?"

inspired by the dream part of this: (sheriff being dead came from me starting a diff fic where he dies. and then i went to bed.)

thoughts about heaven & hell (who goes where?)

(mentioned spoilers for The Owl House, Harry Potter, Naruto, and Hazbin Hotel, adn The Apothecary Diaries)

I might be wrong but as far as I'm aware there isn't a neutral place when you don't fit in either heaven or hell, it's just two extremes. Unless there is one but isn't well known, which oops. At least in like Christianity stuff I think, cause I know in other places there is a sort of middle ground or something like that.

But like. What constitutes who goes to Heaven and who goes to Hell?

Do you add in changes too? Like, would Lilith from The Owl House be sent to Hell because she cursed her sister, and worked on the enemy's side the whole time? Except she regretted her decision, had a change of heart, redemption arch, and also the Emperor had tricked her into thinking there was a cure to save Eda when really he was planning on killing her.

or Amity for being a huge bully, but at heart caring for others and having followed what her parents wanted.

Like... Where do you focus more on feelings instead of actions? Do actions done that hurt people when the person themselves didn't intend to hurt them make them bad?

Or actions from emotion filled moments. Like, you can't tell me you've never gotten so angry that you do something that you regret later.

And when do the ends satisfy the means?

Emperor Belos felt like he was doing right as a witch hunter when he was killing innocent souls, but there were still people who believed that witches were evil. Would you think about biases and prejudice like that, or would you think about actions. Like, 'killed [blah blah blah] people'

Or, take Dumbledore from Harry Potter. Viewed as a hero, doing everything for the greater good, but in the end condemned a child to a horrible fate. Under scrutiny and the pressure of an entire nation watching his every move. First memories being abused by the people who should've loved him, and even earlier would be hearing his parents scream. And then led to die far too soon to end it. (I admittedly think Dumbledore did far too little)

But how do you judge that? Saved like a shit ton of people, but also was a bystander, not often doing much and more or less observing.

Molded a kid to be a savior, to save people so much older then him and effectively ruining his childhood (and while he did have fun, made friends and stuff, he could turn from most desirable to most undesirable. peoples opinion of him could change so easily, and he'd care so much about that and they'd call him a liar to his face and like-- When is that healthy?), except that kid saved everyone.

(also where do you put Draco? Objectively it'd be 'hE's deATh eATer SCUM' but also parents influence their kids a lot and it wasn't like he really had a choice? A lot of mean things he does it was because that was how he was taught, how he was raised. And when he grew up and had thoughts of his own independent of his parents, he got better)

Or like. Do you look at things objectively or emotionally?

Person brainwashed into killing a bunch of people. Do they go to hell or do they not?

I've heard people say that having shame or guilt over an action makes it clear that they care and regret it and that it doesn't make them a monster even for what they did.

At what point do you assign non compos mentis, or basically, 'not of sound mind' and can't blame a person for doing a thing?

Or what about someone who was taught to hate, for example, gay people, and so was homophobic for a part of their life. But then changed and grew? It doesn't make the people they hurt unhurt, but do they get blamed for acting that way, or do they get a pass just because they were influenced to act that way?

At what point does that became invalid? For example, Allison Argent from Teen Wolf, who was told by her hunter family that the supernatural were monsters and stuff like that. And if I recall correctly, apparently went and attacked people she knew, kids the same age as her even if they didn't really do anything. And while it isn't her fault that someone she trusted had such a flawed thought process and shared those thoughts with her, but also like. if you kill someone because you think they're a horrible person, and then it turns out they were innocent, are you guilty?

I mean. Probably. Murder is still murder no matter what, so is it just viewed objectively?

Or, like. Let's go to the world of Naruto, where child soldiers are abundant. They're taught to be entirely obedient, thus Itachi killing his whole clan due to orders. Does he get blamed for that? Probably. But who is to blame?

Also would people be at fault for teaching a child to kill?

For attacking a child, when really they're both shinobi, and both enemies and stuff like that?

Would they all be condemned?

How does the judging system even work? Cause a lot of things that are considered crimes come from our judgment of it, our law. And whatever chooses where we go, do they really care about that?

Would a person be viewed as good for having good intentions?

What is it even based upon? Cause at one point I'm pretty sure marrying kids off was perfectly legal, and that was probably normal at that point. So like, would it just be judged based off of standards from that time?

But then like, how do you get rid of the people who are assholes in Heaven? The sexists??

Like. A line from Hazbin Hotel, Episode 6, from the song 'You Didn't Know',

"If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie.

If angels can do whatever and remain in the sky.

The rules are shades of grey when you don't do as you say, and you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again."

Do you re-judge the souls in Heaven? Because people change. Also, what if someone just acted nice the entire time but on the inside their thoughts were all insults and slurs and was a very hateful person?? And then once they get into Heaven, does it really matter what they do?

Well I guess angels can fall, they can be kicked out. But what if it's a bad thought process, but a process everyone shares? Like, oh, everyone in Hell is evil, they should suffer.

But if you can kick out souls from Heaven, then surely you could kick out souls from Hell right? Cause people in the wrong crowd can always have someone who genuinely cares, but it's like, one person goes down, everyone else goes down with them no matter what.

I just. Angel Dust deserves to be in Heaven and given a shit load of therapy and help and comfort and cuddles istg.

There's probably something that's like, 'rules of Heaven', or there's a description in the Bible or something, except I never read the Bible. The most I remember is like Adam and Eve, and everything else I don't really have a clue. I know Jesus ended up on a cross for I think praying for something else?? Or was that the guy who got put in like a Lion's den and then came out perfectly fine??

You wouldn't think I went to a Christian school with how little I remember from the few years I spent there haha.

ALSO ALSO I HAVE AN ADDITION

what about baby murder?

For one, there's abortions. Which, for one, I don't think is as bad as some people think because like. What if you got raped? I understand that babies are meant to be the greatest thing ever, but sometimes you can't. Or you aren't equipped to care for it and you don't want to send them where they might not even be treated well.

Two, you could also be having an abortion because the pregnancy could kill you. And it's like, does your life really matter less than someone who isn't even born yet??? Hell no. and there's also the if anything grows there that shouldnt be grown but still counting as an abortion

Now onto actual babies. Let's talk about The Apothecary Diaries, where so this girl had put this white powder makeup on the concubine and her son. Except that makeup was toxic, and she basically was slowly killing the both of them (her son died tho), but it wasn't done maliciously cause she wasn't aware it was bad.

Also there's that other person who I don't remember who killed another concubine's son because of honey

Do they get blamed objectively, for killing a newborn. Or pass because it was an accident?

duck pfp (lucifer - hazbin hotel)

episode 5 spoilers kinda

people probably have the short king himself in their pfps

im just sat here obsessed with the duck pfp (episode 1, loved it. then the king himself appears, and i adore him. and i have no clue whose above each other, lucifer or angel dust in my favorites. but aghh)

it was either the duck comment or the 'my daughter wants to see me! take that, depression.'

but the duck one sounds so weird especially out of context. if they ask im going to squeak at them.

nO WAIT actually theres a gif thats just that scene where lucifer says that quote. with zero context whatsoever so he just turns around and shows off this duck that has a light around it.

looks so weird with no context. and it still kind of is weird with context

like

"why do you have a duck as your pfp"

shoves duck in your face

alternatively: DUCK (i swear everyone sees that scene and questions the duck)

hazbin hotel songs tierlist imo (1-6)

It feels like with every new episode comes me having to update my favorite songs agh. note that i am very biased

HAZBIN HOTEL SPOILERS (episodes 1-6.)

For episode 1-4, it was

Loser, Baby (listening it just made me grinning despite the fact that it has more adult lyrics then poison)

Poison (loved it. then saw the episode with it and loved it more)

Stayed Gone (3 and 4 can be switched around either way imo)

Respectless (self explanatory)

Whatever It Takes (i dont like it that much but thats more because its not the type of song i enjoy, but some parts are enjoyable 'iLL BE YouR KEEPer / arMor')

Hell is Forever (hate Adam but the song was a literal bop. plus charlie's little recap of the first song is included in this which fun)

Happy Day in Hell (it is a good song. but you know when you hear a song so much you start to hate it??)

It Starts with Sorry (not that its bad. but like. i didnt like sir. person i can never remember the name of.)

NOW lets add episode 5 and 6. i forgot that new episodes were coming and then i saw on my recommended lucifer and i was like 'nahhh thats just clickbait'. and then i had to do a double take like 'no wait iSNT IT--'

Hell's Greatest Dad (my new favorite. if lucifer vs alastor wasnt so funny then this would be 2nd. reminds me of that one duet in camp camp that i adore too. also i LOVE electroswing. lmfao the 'you could almost call me dad' head turn. the accordion interrupting the piano. also is it just me or is the 'pure angelic power' really loud like holy shit idk why it startled me so much)

You Didn't Know ('dOnt You KnoW tHAT, heLL is FOREVer' that part had no right being such a bop wtf, and can we talk about lute's VOICE?? ALSO the fire reflecting in sera's eyes when she's trying to convice emily, oh my god)

More Than Anything (kid charlie. AND ALSO 'im grateful youre my daughter more than anything' just struck me. ALSO ALSO the 'ive been dying to find out who you are' and everything else after that was so heartwarming.)

Welcome to Heaven (I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SONG. it was ok but also 'and everyone is hot!' not saying this is better then the previous songs in 1-4 but this is a different list of songs from 5 and 6 only. it'd probably be under happy day in hell)

also. villains singing are bops, which AGHH. they insult characters i love but i dont care because their voices are so. nice wtf man. like lute WHAT. (if they make valentino sing though i dont even care if the song would be good because fuck him yknow?? not literally, blegh)

edit: I JUST REALIZED I MISNAMED 'MORE THAN ANYTHING' AS 'WHATEVER IT TAKES' I AM SO SORRY