Academic Success Is Not The Most Important Thing In My Life, I Tell Myself As Im Having A Breakdown Because

academic success is not the most important thing in my life, i tell myself as i’m having a breakdown because of academic success, the most important thing in my life

24.09.21

Miles: When will I know I’m ready?

Peter B: You won’t. It’s a leap of faith.

Still a bit of a mess, but that’s okay. I did what I needed to do, meaning I finished my English assignment, went to my linguistics class, and took a nap. I’ve got a lot planned for studying over the weekend, but I deserved a break today.

Peter B: How do I know I’m not gonna mess it up again?

Miles: You won’t.

Peter B: Right. It’s a leap of faith.

12.09.21

A well-earned—so I must remind myself ad nauseum—relaxing weekend, one of the last I may see for a while now as I become caught up with the momentum of my classes. I set up my new bookshelf, now home to a plant and some books I found at a local used bookstore. I’m hoping to bring the rest of my favourites from home (is here supposed to be home now?) in a couple of weeks.

On another note—no apology will be given for the delight that is my own organic humour—I’m nearing the end of River Flows in You. It has been a drawn out process, but more in the sense of savouring, or so my nostalgic mind tells me.

I may be gone for a while. I’m not sure, more so than usual. I will be back. Until then, I hope you find what you need, if not what you’re looking for.

You’re still here? It’s over, go home.

Go!

23.09.21

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” —Douglas Adams

It must be Thursday. My morning went well with studying and Spanish class, but I did nearly nothing for the rest of the day. My essay outline and introductory paragraph are due tomorrow…and I haven’t started. Though, I remind myself, I’ve done this before. Procrastination has yet to fail me, but more likely I have yet to fail myself. I can do this, tomorrow. It’s time to call it a night; finish each day and be done with it.

Tonight’s playlist:

Near Light—Ólafur Arnalds

good things take time—Christian French

Scared of the Dark (feat. XXXTENTACION)—Lil Wayne

16.09.21

Ciao from the void.

Void with a capital V? If I’m your void, but you’re my void (really wanting to embrace y’all as English’s second person plural)… then is reality a relative void? It is if you remember that everything is mostly nothing, a thought that is both relieving and terrifying depending on where you’re (y’all’re) at mentally (guessing probably not great as we meet here between the trenches in no man’s land).

Behold, the long-expected intro post. However, consider the following arguments:

a. Time is relative

b. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn

Hi, my name is Kira and I’m a pretentious bastard. Sugar is my drug of choice, love starting my day off on that high and proceeding to crash harder than Icarus. Guess you’ve got to be a self-destructive sadist to believe the ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer and the rage, rage against the dying of the light mindset of academia. It’s a very Greek idea. Profanity, do I hate citations. You’ll find vaguely described sources for quotes and allusions in the tags.

To return to the point—if there ever was one among the rambling nonsense that is my scream stream of consciousness—this is my personal blog that will be filled with mostly studying, but also fun extras like Stuff in General. I’m a linguistics major taking five classes this semester: English, Spanish, French, and two linguistics classes. I’m focused on getting good grades to apply for law school in the ominously approaching future.

Days like today—when I am never enough, gotta do more, gotta be more—are why I’ve joined you in the void despite my general dislike of social media. This blog is for me more than anyone and more of a reminder than anything else. 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had a fairly productive day, but it never seems like enough. Listening to an absolute shitmix of low-fi classical alternative punk rock pop with a side of rubbish (like garbage, but tasteful). I’m within and without. Also vibing with Roses by The Band CAMINO.

Look at me go, being all melodramatic and such.

Sleep is for the week, not the weak, so rest, bitch.