16.09.21

16.09.21

Ciao from the void.

Void with a capital V? If I’m your void, but you’re my void (really wanting to embrace y’all as English’s second person plural)… then is reality a relative void? It is if you remember that everything is mostly nothing, a thought that is both relieving and terrifying depending on where you’re (y’all’re) at mentally (guessing probably not great as we meet here between the trenches in no man’s land).

Behold, the long-expected intro post. However, consider the following arguments:

a. Time is relative

b. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn

Hi, my name is Kira and I’m a pretentious bastard. Sugar is my drug of choice, love starting my day off on that high and proceeding to crash harder than Icarus. Guess you’ve got to be a self-destructive sadist to believe the ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer and the rage, rage against the dying of the light mindset of academia. It’s a very Greek idea. Profanity, do I hate citations. You’ll find vaguely described sources for quotes and allusions in the tags.

To return to the point—if there ever was one among the rambling nonsense that is my scream stream of consciousness—this is my personal blog that will be filled with mostly studying, but also fun extras like Stuff in General. I’m a linguistics major taking five classes this semester: English, Spanish, French, and two linguistics classes. I’m focused on getting good grades to apply for law school in the ominously approaching future.

Days like today—when I am never enough, gotta do more, gotta be more—are why I’ve joined you in the void despite my general dislike of social media. This blog is for me more than anyone and more of a reminder than anything else. 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

I had a fairly productive day, but it never seems like enough. Listening to an absolute shitmix of low-fi classical alternative punk rock pop with a side of rubbish (like garbage, but tasteful). I’m within and without. Also vibing with Roses by The Band CAMINO.

Look at me go, being all melodramatic and such.

shit dude, here’s to all of the quiet victories. the things that other people take for granted but are so, so hard for you. the way your voice didn’t shake when you ordered your drink, the time you felt a swell of pride at something instead of shame, how you got out of bed after only the second time hitting snooze even though you couldn’t imagine anything more difficult than facing another fucking day. fucking cherish those. relish them, rejoice in them, do not let anyone pluck them from your grasp because they are yours and they are important.

just completed a task i willingly started. i cannot keep living like this

I feel stuck. I’m making great progress. I’m losing my mind, I’m doing so much better than before. I love studying. I want to drop out and move to the countryside. I’ve got it all figured out. I feel completely lost.

21.09.21

A highly productive day, ergo my place is a mess. I beg your pardon and offer thee books, post-haste, in lieu of a proper tribute.

My candle burns at both ends;

It will not last the night;

But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends—

It gives a lovely light! —Edna St. Vincent Millay

02.09.21

First day back! Packing! Moving! Painting? Chaos!