28.09.21

28.09.21

“An honest man has nothing to fear, so I’m trying my best not to be afraid.”

I’ve got a lot to do, but I’m working hard. I finished the two assignments I had due today. More are on the horizon and when they get here I’ll finish them too. Then I’ll finish the next ones. I can do this all day. Did you understand that reference? For now, I’ll rest. I can’t save the world if I don’t save myself first.

Listening to Let It Be—The Beatles

23.08.21

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.” —The Catcher in the Rye, J.D Salinger

I love CrashCourse and Vlogbrothers, but—as I’m not a fan of non-sci-fi-fantasy-adventure fiction—this is the first novel of John Green’s I’ve read. It may end up being the only one, but it holds a special place in my heart. “Sycamore Trees” and “Capacity for Wonder” are my favourites, but it’s beyond that. This book bleeds humanity. It keeps me afloat on bad days. It reminds me that we’re not alone. This book means everything to me. I give John Green, as a human being, 5 stars.

Ok… 6 stars.

27.09.21

POLONIUS: What do you read, my lord?

HAMLET: Words, words, words.

I confess, I didn’t get an awful lot done over the weekend. Just finished doing a couple peer reviews. Today I spent finishing my English lessons and readings for the week so I’ll have time to work on the essay due Friday. I did some Spanish and linguistics too for some variation.

“But, orderly to end where I begun,

Our wills and fates do so contrary run

That our devices still are overthrown.

Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.”

Perhaps a more apt quotation would lie in saying I do protest too much, methinks. Despite my productivity, this work was actually to put off doing the assignments due tomorrow in French and my other linguistics class. Oops.

“This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are sick in fortune, often the surfeit of our own behaviour, we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars; as if we were villains on necessity; fools by heavenly compulsion; knaves, thieves, and treachers by spherical pre-dominance; drunkards, liars, and adulterers by an enforc’d obedience of planetary influence; and all that we are evil in, by a divine thrusting on.”

23.09.21

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” —Douglas Adams

It must be Thursday. My morning went well with studying and Spanish class, but I did nearly nothing for the rest of the day. My essay outline and introductory paragraph are due tomorrow…and I haven’t started. Though, I remind myself, I’ve done this before. Procrastination has yet to fail me, but more likely I have yet to fail myself. I can do this, tomorrow. It’s time to call it a night; finish each day and be done with it.

Tonight’s playlist:

Near Light—Ólafur Arnalds

good things take time—Christian French

Scared of the Dark (feat. XXXTENTACION)—Lil Wayne

academic success is not the most important thing in my life, i tell myself as i’m having a breakdown because of academic success, the most important thing in my life

24.09.21

Miles: When will I know I’m ready?

Peter B: You won’t. It’s a leap of faith.

Still a bit of a mess, but that’s okay. I did what I needed to do, meaning I finished my English assignment, went to my linguistics class, and took a nap. I’ve got a lot planned for studying over the weekend, but I deserved a break today.

Peter B: How do I know I’m not gonna mess it up again?

Miles: You won’t.

Peter B: Right. It’s a leap of faith.