Ok I Now Need A Whole Thing Of Sephiroth Randomly Info Dumping

Ok I now need a whole thing of Sephiroth randomly info dumping

*Zack is happily eating a banana*

Sephiroth: Due to the presence of the isotope potassium-40, bananas are radioactive.

*Zack stops chewing*

Sephiroth: Be not afraid. Radiation is everywhere. Terrestrial radiation, cosmic radiation, electromagnetic radiation, and even in our electronic devices.

*Zack panics and starts crying*

-

*During a meeting*

Lazard: I trust that no one had problems accessing their paychecks last week?

Sephiroth: Women earn approximately 23% less for every gil earned by a man for the same work, a consequence of gross systemic inequities in our society.

Lazard:

Sephiroth: You should be ashamed of yourself.

-

*Genesis coughs*

Sephiroth: Despite the advancement of modern medicine, millions of people still lack access to essential healthcare services, which leads to death and disease.

Genesis: Oh, I'm not sick.

Sephiroth: Tuberculosis is an infectious disease caused by bacteria, known as mycobacterium tuberculosis, and often goes unnoticed during its latent stages, leading the individual to believe they are well.

Genesis: What the fuck do I do with this information now?

Sephiroth: Tuberculosis is one of the top 10 causes of global death, with an average of over 3000 deaths—

Genesis, panicked: STOP IT.

-

*Sephiroth walks up to Angeal*

Sephiroth: Foot odor is caused by the high concentration of sweat glands in the feet, which produce sweat not easily evaporated when confined in shoes, creating a moist environment ideal for bacterial growth.

Angeal: ......

*Sephiroth walks away*

Angeal: ......

*Angeal self consciously removes his boot and brings it up to his nose*

Angeal: MY FEET DON'T SMELL, YOU IDIOT!

-

*Cloud is standing around on patrol when Sephiroth walks up to him*

Sephiroth: Though the weight of a cloud can vary depending on its size, altitude and water content, the average cloud weighs around 500,000 kilograms.

Cloud: .......

*Sephiroth briefly picks Cloud up and places him back down*

Sephiroth: I was wrong.

3 at all times 😂

Feeling 5 today, how 'bout you?

I will die for a fuckin sniff of seph 😕

And I do mean his dick

a very blue Sephiroth I finished on procreate

There is a monster mission in the slums. There is a strange creature in the tree that nobody has ever seen before and it’s scaring the residence. Someone dispatch of this strange monster? This is a soldier level threat. Maybe even the Turks can’t handle it. Send help?

(It’s not a monster. It’s a croissant- https://notesfrompoland.com/2021/04/15/mystery-creature-reported-to-animal-services-actually-a-croissant/ )

*Angeal, Sephiroth and Genesis stare up at the tree*

Angeal: Do you guys think it's some sort of bird?

Genesis: Clearly it's a rodent of some kind.

Sephiroth: Or it could be a cat.

Angeal: Should we hit it with a spell?

Genesis: No, it might frighten and injure it. It seems inoffensive.

Sephiroth: The best course of action is to climb up the tree and retrieve it ourselves.

Angeal: Alright. All three of us, in that case if it attacks one of us, the others can provide backup.

Genesis: Agreed. Let's go.

*They climb the tree and reach the creature*

Sephiroth: Oh, it's a croissant.

Genesis:

Angeal:

Sephiroth: It looks like we didn't knead to do that.

Genesis:

Angeal:

Sephiroth: Hehe. It appears this mission was crumby.

Genesis:

Angeal:

Sephiroth: How about I buy you both dinner? It's the yeast I can do.

Genesis:

Angeal:

Sephiroth: Look at that, I'm on a roll today.

*Sephiroth loses his shit laughing and ends up falling from the tree*

The next stop after putting Sephiroth’s name in my search bar

Edit: crazy cause you’re probably gonna find Genesis there first

Minors, DNI, Do not interact.

Okay so now that I finally know how to hyperlink things on here I can make a more organized master list of shit. It’s crazy what you can accomplish when you use your eyes.

This masterlist will consist of anything that's on going. As well as masterlists to anything finished/drabbles+hcs

Most of what I write is GN. Some nsfw is female!reader. I'll label what is gn for nsfw, but it's safe to assume everything else is gn.

GenesisxReaderxTseng + Angeal and Sephiroth x Reader:

Misconduct Chapter 1

Misconduct Chapter 2

Misconduct Chapter 3

Misconduct Misc:

Spoiler 1: The tub?

TsengxReader:

Dead LanguagesPart1 > rewriting entirely. Read at own risk. It's ass and the wrong version, didn't notice until I started part 2

Sephiroth x Reader:

Made For You Part 1 > part 2 will be done around the beginning of October

FF7-1 Hc's/Drabbles

FF8