I'm Scared

I'm scared

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The street is big and noisy,

The entire ground is red.

Blood and guts squished under cars,

I'm scared like a cat.

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Running in a zigzag.

Jesus take the wheel.

You know I don't believe in you,

but i still hope that you're real.

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I need someone to hold me,

but please don't touch my skin.

My will to life returned,

I don't know where it has been.

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The kid in me is crying,

Tears running down my cheek.

I want to scream and shout,

But I'm afraid to even speak.

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If you want to, you can try reading it to the melody of (more like the beginning of the verses)

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Only Everyone Can Judge Me by Crywank

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The stars know everthing.

But do the stars know the way people love?

A person who loves someone.

A mess of imperfection, sewn out of flaws and fregments of mistakes, but a perfect smile.

Crooked, holding nothing but the truth.

Eyes capturing the death of a star, tragic, with beauty full of life.

Hands, which once touched the soft skin of someone, being able to hold someone in your arms like they were never anything but a place to rest.

Legs, which roam the holy ground, not holy because of deitis, but holy because its part of the universes.

A place which holds all the treasure ever known to humankind, known to any kind of creature.

A creature whos seen the horrifying beauty of life.

Breathing, laughing, crying.

Making friends and feeling lonely, holding hands while moving apart.

Life and death, a circle never meant to be broken.

But love wants to break everything which  makes it beautiful.

Romeo dying of the thought of seperation, Achilles killing for revenge, waiting for death.

Hannibal forgiving a sin not known to a deity, Apollo forming flowers out of blood.

A god creating birds out of pity, a love never meant to be.

I envy the stars for knowing a love like this, being ready to take death as a consequence.

August

In my throat I could still feel the air of August.

The earth spun ahead

and flowers danced

but in my body

time stood still

and I didn't dare to breath out.

I was too afraid

my breath

could touch your fragile body,

which seemed like made out of glass.

Too afraid I would break you.

I was so careful

but you still left.

And since then,

my inner clock stood still

and this silence drove me crazy.

Since you left,

I couldn't do anything;

except starring at the walls

and wishing

you were here.

I remember your hand

caressing my cheek

as I cried.

In those moments of memories,

I can feel the warmth

and the pressure.

Your thumb

wiping away

those tears of which I cried too many.

But now

I wish I could feel these tears again.

But I'm empty.

Falling for Them.

As their hand reaches out to mine,

I could have sworn Michelangelo

getting jealous.

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What was I worth to touch a hand like this;

the skin pale as marble and the finger caressing my palm,

tender as they mingle with mine.

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A picture, Van Gogh could've never see.

A statue, the greeks could never create,

Picasso gasping in reverence, as I feel their skin.

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A smile, the sun would envy,

a brightness Icarus could never reach,

Aphrodite leaving the throne of the muse.

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And those eyes.

Medusa would be the one turning to stone,

Sappho, writing endless poems.

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Their laughter soft as the clouds in the sky,

hearing it,

makes me wanna fly.

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The waves on the shore creating a melody

which could never compete with their voice.

Gentle, lovingly and so, so warm.

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The warmth of their arms which hold me safe

in the night of storm,

until we see the beginning of dawn.

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Hephaestus would burn

if he touched my heart when I'm with them,

Prometheus never reaching the fire to steal again.

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The love of a masterpiece hundreds of years

still there,

poets and artist, dying to see,

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but they just look at me.

And they hold on to my hand.

As I'm falling for them.

My thoughts are just fregments of words,

syllables of dreams,

letters of something,

passing too fast to reach

Will I not love myself when I grow up?

(This poem is written out the perspective of my younger self)

"I'm nothing."

you say

to your mirror,

broken,

you shattered it 2 years ago.

these words are not your own.

you quote & you quote & you quote,

yet forget to mention

the authors name

is lie

I used to believe adults words;

when dreams were reality,

when pluto was a planet,

& a dog more than

just bones.

Do you know your words

are nothing but lies

formed out of your uncertainty?

Fourteen is a shitty age;

I wish, they would've warned us.

You're all grown up now

but scared & you lie.

what changed in youth?

you don't dare to be loved without pain;

Will that happen to me?

You still look like a child,

begging to be held

in the sound arms

of your unholy mother

she wants to love you; but can she?

If she doesn't like herself

in her room,

how can her love reach

your ears

in her arms?

Adults say, they don't lie,

but no truth reaches my ears;

their mirror lie to them

so they lie to themselves;

Where did their self-love go?

Why do they speak about love

like it was a task

& not a feeling?

I lie sometimes in fear;

What happens in youth?

Will I not love

when I grow up?

will my mirror teach me

how to hate & to lie

to myself & to you?

I can't promise that I will always love you

when I'm grown up,

but listen to me while I'm young

& believe the words while

I can still see the truth.

Your mirror is broken

& your mother is gone

& you forgot

how to love yourself;

so let me love you

Be brave and let yourself be loved;

let not lie, no mirror

be an obstacle to my love.

It takes time, but we're young

There's still time left;

We may never be holy, but at least

you don't call unholiness your mirror anymore.

we'll be more than we bargained for,

maybe less than what we wanted to

But don't worry; you will be.

The truth: you will be something.

Something loveable anyway;

p.s. i love you

A/N : I wished somebody would have told me that you will hate yourself when you grow up. I wished somebody would have taught me to love myself through it.

I've grown up, and I still don't love myself like I did when I was a kid. But I'm learning; I still have time...