It Will Be Now And Forever Funny That Cumplane Ended Up Marrying Fantasy Versions Of Each Other. Like

it will be now and forever funny that cumplane ended up marrying fantasy versions of each other. like fuck can you imagine marrying the self insert of your arch-rival but it actually has to be chill because the guy he married is literally also just the xianxia ice demon version of you WHO YOUR SEMI-DIEFIC RIVAL MADE EXPLICITLY AS HIS DREAM MAN and both of you will be in denial of this fact forever

Your Shidi

Imagine if Shen Yuan transmigrated a little later as Luo Binghes Shidi two years before Luo Binghe was fated to falling into the abyss and thought if he befriended Luo Binghe MAYBE he might live?

Shen Yuan transmigrates too late.

 He found himself digging holes at Cang Qiong for the entrance exam.

 He didn't know what he’d do if he ended up in Qing Jing Peak, was Binghe here yet? Was he in the abyss?

What use was it to join the sect only to be burned with rest lf them when he didnt even know who Luo Binghe even was?

 This sucked!

Then to too it all kff Shen Qingqiu decided to pick him!

 Shen Yuan had no idea how take the villain so he kept his fave neutral and bland as kf he was bored.

Any expression this scumbag will have an issue with and use it as an excuse to punish him!

 He assumed he had no family so he said he was an orphan and he had no one.

 He poured the tea correctly, and waited for the man to pour it on him or stab him with a tea cup.

 “Good enough, go with Ming Fan. He give you your robes and manual.”

 Shen Yuan was immediately worried he would be sabotaged but after getting to know the disciples and being treated well he realised maybe it was only Luo Binghe who was targeted.

 Even so, if he wanted to survive he had to be a good enough cultivator to leave the mountain and be a rogue cultivator!

 But then he saw him, when Shen Yuan was doing his own chores of chtting wood he froze when he saw an older bly walk past him.

 The bly gazed at him his eyes narrowed.

“Is something wrong, Shidi?”

That was Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe who was older almost the same age when he-

Shen Yuan closed his gaping mouth-

“Ah apologies Shixiong! This one didnt mean to stare!”

He was doomed, there was no way he could be friends with Luo Binghe- it was too late and he doubted he would make an impact.

Luo Binghe didnt smile, only looked down on Shen Yuan, he wondered if this was when he started realising the injustice of his situation.

“Would Shidi like some help chtting wood?” 

Shen Yuan stiffened- make the protagonist do his chores! Did he look like a masochist!?

“No way!” He yelled and the other looked stunned almost offended and Shen Yuan backtracked-

“These are my chores- if this one can’t do this then how can I proudly call myself a cultivator! I ah-“ Shen Yuan bowed “Thanking Shixiong for offering!” 

 Luo Binghe said nothing.

Shen Yuan looked back up then shifted “Uh- but um, if Shixiong doesn’t mind he could stay and talk while I work, I can do blth- unless your busy then you need nkt waste your time with this shidi!”

Luo Binghe only hummed as he leaned near a tree crossing his arms.

“This one doesn’t mind the company, plus someone has to watch you in case you get hurt.”

Shen Yuan stared, but no one was there when Luo Binghe got hurt.

 “Hmm what is it?”

Sonething must have shown on his face, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but smile.

 “You’re so kind. 

Shen Yuan had no idea that this was how it was going to go.

 Shen Qingqiu was rotting in a dungeon, Yue Qingyuan died.

 But the reason why only Qing Jing Peak was destroyed and the mountain was spared was because of him.

 Him! Shen Yuan!

Sure it could be worse but just imagine what he could’ve done if he transmigrated sooner!

 But Cang Qiing didnt appreciate the sentiment, Luo Bknghe was even kind enough to spare the library so they coukd rebuild and start over-

But none of the peak lords wanted Shen Yuan, or the peak. They decided to keep it as the eleven peaks instead and take it as a lesson from Shen Qingqiu a name they will forever curse.

 A cursed generation kf failed peak lords,

And so Shen Yuan took all of teh disciples under Shen Qingqiu then later Ming Fan now Shen Yuan.

 Ning Yingying shoukd have taken over as next in line but she was in the palace with Luo Binghe.

And she wasn’t welconed either.

And tge good news kept coming as most of the disciples returned home.

After all their families were rich and payed good money for their children to succed in life having them part if a disgraced peak was the opposite si they begged the mountain to take them into other peaks in their stead.

Qi Qingqi as the now acting Sect Leader allowed such a thing, she was only the actingbhead until the new head disciple was ready to take over Yue Qingyuans place.

So Shen Yuan was supposed to trail sadly with his entourage down the town and be mocked and jeered as they tried to find a place to stay with the money Cang Qiong graciously allowed them.

 Shen Yuan scowled as if- no way was he going to just accept defeat like this!

He was going to thrive shre cultivation may be outlawed soon the four great sects have no idea what was coming.

 But y’know what Shen Yuan didn’t need cultivation! Knowledge is power!

 If they can harvest remedies from flowers and thanks to his knowledge of pidw knows what is a healing tonic and a dangerous poison, knowing what demonic beast will be great for ones constition they’ll survive.

 And when Shen Yuan strode past the village with purpose, the disciples, carrying the library of Qing Jing on their backs began to have hope.

 Of course when they saw the shack they realised that maybe Qing Jing peak truly waa cursed.

 “This will be our new home!” Shen Yuan clapped looking proud, as he turned to the group, eyes crinkled with a secret.

 “Now we have plenty kf work to do to make it habitable- so lets split into groups and give each other jobs,” he went to the hallmasters that stayed.

 “You will take this and buy what we need, furniture wood, Xao Mei will give you list.”

The hallmasters scowled “Why are we doing grunt work?”

Shen Yuan paused then turned back “As off right now we are a disgraced peak, we are vunerable and what meager belongings we have someone will pick. You are string enoygh to defend yourself and these supplies are improtant if we plan to live here for the foreseeable future. Not to mention people would cheat the children and make them pay more, our hallmasters wknt fall for such tricks or prey to a simple mugging.”

They grit their teeth but nodded as the went fkr their task,

Meanwhile Shen Yuan and the rest of the disciples began to test the small house removing wood or deighning something as strong enough to stay.

Shen Yuan knew they were vunerable, to be attacked so soon into the night.

Hehad already laced the entire perimeter with booby traps and pollen to take out a horse!

 He cackled madly into the noght, scaring the men in the woods as Shen Yuan took care of them with only a few swipes of his sword.

 The rest lf the men ran away screaming about demons and Shen Yuan laughed even more madly- their faces! Fucking priceless!

 And of course he knew the hallmasters were old though some didnt look it, but he knew they would also scheme and grow restless.

 It was simple work to use an array on the few scrolls they had, he knew the hallmasters held gold in their hands and wouldn’t think twice to steal secrets from the former Qing Jing Peak and use that to bargain to gain entry into their rival sects.

 So it was a matter of time one grew bold.

 It was during the night when the silence was pierced with screams,

Shen Yuan arrived and saw the eldest on the floor of the shared room with the other masters, thrashing as his hands were removed and nothing but bloody stumps, and on his forehead and skin began to form black marks like tattoos labelling him as a thief.

Shen Yuan gazed down at him.

 “Ah so you planned on stealing Qing Jing Peaks scrolls and run away to a new sect leaving us even more vulnerable than what we are?”

Shen Yuan stepped on the others chest, “this venerable one will allow you to live with the shamet that you would steal from your own people when we are truly in shch a desperate situation the whole world will see you for the thief and coward that you are.”

The man eyes were brimming with tears and hatred.

Hands no longer bleeding as the cultivation kept him from dying for something as sognificant as that.

 Shen Yuan crouched down, his own eyes devoid and blank.

“This Master should kill you and be done with it, but our reputation is already sullied enough wkthout others perceiving us as no better than Shen Qingqiu. So I’m going to let you go, and another thing…” Shen Yuan leaned closer tilting his head, “If you simpky asked to leave and take whatever you like from the library as your due payment for years of loyality to Qing Jing Peak this master would gladly let you go and even aided you. But you decided to spit on the kindness that we have bestowed afterall, you like having a room, yes?” Here Shen Yuan glanced at the others. Because they were older and had been part of the peak for years even before Shen Qingqiu, Shen Yuan thought it was fair that they had were goven the room with beds. While he and the disciples slept on the floor. After all it was better to respect the seniors.

 The man was whimpering now.

 “Now you don’t have this luxary.” He looked at the others “Do you have any complaints?”

The others were shaken up and pale, they would probably flee by morning calling Shen Yuan the devil.

 He sniffed and grabbed the limbless man from the floor and kicked him out into the woods.

As the man turned, panting and sweating and his arms shaking still shocked at the lack of limbs blanched to see the entire shack and all jts occupants vanished.

 He circled the area for days, and tried to venture in further but couldn’t find it.

The former Qing Jing Peak had vanished.

“Hmm, Shen Qingqius name meant autumn…and mine is more towards spring, then we are a sect of Knowledge but not just any type street smarts- or others is just as good- agh it has to be a good name! Airplanes naming conventions were shit!”

Also the Hallmasters felt hope and more respect for the new master, they couldn’t see a future where they would survive with someone like Shen Yuan but now? Seeing how he handled their ex-hallmaster gave them some relief they needed someone cut throat and cunning but not someone who would aggravate any living person like Shen Qingqiu.

It made them feel more content to stay, all though their new Masters code of conduct to never strike a child even when they have done mistakes was strange. But after what Luo Binghe did, maybe he wanted to be more safe than sorry.

And labelling that hallmaster as a thief had shunned him completely, not one person thought their new master was in the wrong and even kicked and threw fruit at the man shaming him for trying to steal from helpless children!

Even so he knew he was asking for too uch that Luo Binghe would ignore them and pretend they didn’t exist, already he was demanding the other sects to join him and both Tian ti and Zhao Hua had already deviated.

So when his oldest, almost could say she was technically his head disciple, Ling Wei announced an entourage and that their holy emperor was at their door!?

Shen Yuan almost expired.

When he finally moved with haste and saw Luo Binghe and his entourage he gulped.

He was going to handle this with dignity and grace, there was no point in Binghe sparing them just to kill them now. Luo Binghe never believed in wasteful deaths, unless he had a very good reason or that person pissed him off.

 Of course Ning Yingying had to break the tense silence before Shen Yuan could even bow to the new Emperor of the three realms!

“A-yuan!” It was like a gunshot, and she ran forward wrapping him up into her hold, Shen Yuan stiffened.

A wife of Binghe’s was hugging him! He was doomed- DOOMED!

“Yingying, let him breathe.” And it somehow became much more worse, as Luo Binghe approached as Ning Yingying finally eased back, Luo Binghe grabbed him and Shen Yuans eyes snapped shut- this was it! 

He was dead!

 Luo Binghe embraced him, and spoke in his ear “This Lord is pleased to see Shidi doing well.”

_________________________________________________________

And so Luo Binghe decides to treat Shen Yuan kindly, while his Shidi is unaware and sweating bullets. At one point Shen Yuan shows him everything he has and says Binghe can take all of his finances, clothes journels from Qing Jing as tax repayments anything Junshang desires!

Meanwhile Binghe is like what? Meanwhile kinda laughing at how much his Shidi is trying to pay way too much taxes, and Binghe tells him that with how much he has observed of this little sect [and the pitiful shack that it is] how much revenue Shen Yuan has he deduced that he only has to pay so much.

Luo Binghe ends up taking a single coin. Much to Shen Yuans shock, and he thought he would leave it at that until Luo Binghe changes his mind, and as Shen Yuan is not only buidling the sect he is gaining a reputation with his kindness, but is still shrewd and seen as a cold beauty and sharp cunning, people say he's what people wished Shen Qingqiu should be.

No one is surprised-except for Shen Yuan- when Luo Binghe decides make an ultimatum either join his sect or perish, and when the sects begin to apply for seats as his council members, Shen Yuan is shocked that he was offered one too! Ning Yingying is ecstatic.

But Shen Yuan is terrified if he rejects the seat would Binghe be offended so he HAS to take it, but once he's working at the palace he will be forced to rely on his instincts and cunning to survive that vipers nest not ONLY does he have to use the PIDW to survive the plots as an only male character near the protagonist Luo Binghe he is straight up cannon fodder set up to die!

Not knowing that Luo Binghe is trying to court/marry him he takes each invitation as a a death sentence!

Bingqiu roleswap where disciple Shen Yuan knows he's gay, and figures out that he has a big huge crush on his handsome Shizun, but also concludes nearly at once that he's not going to be drawing Luo Binghe's eye any time soon. Firstly, Luo Binghe is notoriously straight. Secondly, even if he weren't, he wouldn't go for his scrawny untalented nerd of a disciple! Shen Yuan's not bad looking, not before or after transmigrating, but he's neither a beautiful nor a hot manly man, and he assumes if Luo Binghe were into dudes he'd be into the same kinds of twunks that Shen Yuan likes. Guys on his own level, etc etc.

Plus Luo Binghe hated the original disciple Shen, and only started to warm up to the transmigrated version after Shen Yuan got injured in front of him trying to stop the other disciples on the peak from killing a small animal. For some reason, Luo Binghe brought Shen Yuan medicine. He got even nicer after Shen Yuan distracted the skinner demon by trying to convince it to take his skin instead of Luo Binghe's, and then again when Shen Yuan successfully fought off a demon invader -- though initially when Luo Binghe volunteered him for that job, he thought it was an assassination attempt. His heart was in his throat when Luo Binghe nearly took a poisoned blow for him, but luckily he reacted more quickly and got hit by the thorns instead. His heavenly demon blood took care of the poison, and he managed to convince everyone that he narrowly avoided getting cut at all.

Shen Yuan's careful not to read anything into it when Luo Binghe finds out about his, erm, uncomfortable dormitory situation and moves him into the side room, or when he completely messes up trying to make dinner and Luo Binghe takes over cooking and bans him from the kitchen (he swears he's not actually that bad at cooking, he just never had to use a kitchen without a microwave or an electric hot plate before...)

After all, it's not like Luo Binghe is cooking for him, he's just making food he likes and letting Shen Yuan eat it too! Because he's nice! He's way nicer than the book gave him credit for being, see, clearly Shen Yuan was correct in signing up for his defense squad, "top ten worst villains of all time" his ass that poll was nonsense...

Unfortunately, though, the plot's still gotta plot. Shen Yuan is heartbroken when the Immortal Alliance Conference rolls around and his shizun stabs him and throws him down into the Endless Abyss. Heartbroken, but not surprised. After all, it was always going to go this way, wasn't it?

But at least, now that it's done, he has some agency in how he reacts to it. He's changed the story enough that he doesn't need to go get revenge. Maybe Luo Binghe's still the villain of his story, maybe that was inevitable, but some heroes let the villains get away. Don't they? It's all part of that noble, breaking the cycle of abuse type stuff. He can be that kind of hero. He can let it go. As long as he avoids Luo Binghe altogether, it should be fine, right? It's not like he's obligated to turn people into human sticks. He asked the system, he's definitely not!

Technically he's not even required to conquer the demon realms. He just has to get out of the Abyss and the be sufficiently cool and/or tragic. Conquest is just one means of doing that, and not even Shen Yuan's preferred, since he doesn't exactly want to rule over anybody. Going around the demon realms beating up some jackasses and rescuing some damsels in distress and becoming sworn brothers with Shang Qinghua, one of the current demon kings, is suitable. He definitely doesn't want to marry any of the damsels he encounters (thank fuck the system lets him off the hook for that!)

But eventually he has to go back to the human world. Not only is it mandated by the system, but he also misses living there. The demonic realms are in many ways better than expected, plus a lot of the monsters are really cool, but he misses the weather and plants and the people he's more accustomed to being around.

He misses Qing Jing Peak, if he's being honest with himself. Shizun's cooking and the bamboo forest and the crisp mountain breezes, the comforts of home.

Not that he can actually go back there in specific. Of course not. If he did that, Luo Binghe would try to kill him, or else the system would try and make him kill Luo Binghe. Bad ideas all around. No, he can't go back to Qing Jing Peak, but he can go find someplace nicer than the demon realms at least. He just has to keep a low profile, which shouldn't be hard since the original goods did that even while actively scheming to kill his former master!

Except.

Everywhere he goes, suddenly Luo Binghe is also there?!

Good thing Shen Yuan thought to take a page out of the book of Luo Binghe's actual love interest, Liu Mingyan, and start wearing a veil. He just didn't want any randos who might have seen him at the Immortal Alliance Conference or on any of the other missions his shizun sent him on to recognize him. But one minute he's investigating a strange case in Jinlan City, and the next the streets are full of Huan Hua cultivators (Shen Yuan has no intention of joining them, that's the path the original took to getting revenge! He doesn't want revenge!), and then Luo Binghe and Sect Leader MBJ and Peak Lord SHL show up, and SY is ducking down alleys and hiding behind columns, just trying to stay out of the way until the lockdown on Jinlan lifts and he can leave.

Except...

Luo Binghe really isn't acting like himself?

He looks like he hasn't been eating or sleeping well. There are dark circles around his eyes, and something almost melancholy in his countenance. And he's dressed entirely in white, none of the usual Qing Jing greens and blues anywhere to be seen. Of even greater concern, he's being reckless. Shen Yuan can't stop himself from rushing out when he sees his former shizun get infected by a sower demon.

Luckily, it's been some years since the last time they saw one another. Shen Yuan's gained a few inches in height, so he's almost at eye-level with his old master now, and though he's still more slender than bulky he's picked up some totally new styles from training the demon realms. He doesn't move the same way he used to. With that, plus the veil, it's enough for him to quickly swallow back his words as he grabs Luo Binghe and quickly administers a cure for the sower infection.

Well, he has one of course. He wouldn't need it himself, heavenly demon blood and all, but his time running around playing hero in the demon realms meant he rescued a lot of humans from such fates. Which is hard to do if you don't have a cure to their afflictions, but between him and Shang Qinghua, sourcing such things was almost easy.

Luo Binghe looks at him like he's just seen a ghost. The other Cang Qiong sect members are alarmed by SY suddenly accosting one of their own and of course find him suspicious, so he runs away right after, and then he has to lose Sha Hualing's pursuit in the city.

But what else could he do? He manages to evade the system's attempts to railroad him into meeting Gongyi Xiao, avoids the rest of the Cang Qiong crowd, and drops some of the cure through the current Qian Cao peak lord's window to get the incident sorted out. Then he flees and puts a good amount of distance between himself, Jinlan City, and every righteous sect he can think of.

The only problem is that after this point, Luo Binghe is everywhere.

Any time Shen Yuan stays in one place for longer than a few days, Qing Jing disciples start turning up. Any time he takes a job hunting some cool-sounding monster or pursuing some interesting tome of knowledge, the better to satisfy the system, it seems like Luo Binghe has selected and gone after the exact same target! Which is especially annoying because back when SY was a disciple, Luo Binghe was always assigning him to do this stuff. Since when does his chronic homebody master have an interesting in six-tailed scorpion lemurs or ancient spiritual kilns?

What's weirder, though, are the rumors.

It seems like any time SY stops at some well-populated place and asks for the latest gossip, he has to hear about how the Qing Jing peak lord lost his beloved disciple during the Immortal Alliance Conference, and mourned like a widow, and now wanders the earth in search of solace for his grief. Seeking something, possibly even the ghost of his dear disciple.

What nonsense! Luo Binghe threw SY into the Abyss himself. He had to do it, it was the plot! And also his obligation as a righteous cultivator, confronted with a "dangerous" half-demon. Does it sting? Yes it stings! That's why SY wouldn't just forget it! Despite logically knowing it's pointless, is there some part of him that wishes his master would have chosen differently? That thinks he should have known that no matter what kind of power Shen Yuan had, he would never use it to hurt people recklessly, or harm innocents, or especially not harm... well. It's pointless, his blood condemned him, and if there is some part of Luo Binghe which regrets what happened, it's doubtless just that he unwittingly harbored a monster for so long.

Which is fine and Shen Yuan would leave it at that, if the guy would just let him!

But no. Instead he has to deal with Luo Binghe turning up and asking him questions, trying to get him to talk (SY has no hope of disguising his voice, if he says anything he's not even sure it won't crack as he comes perilously close to tears instead, so he just stays silent), and then asking for his name, asking if he's mute, asking about his background, his sect, his kin. Is his a righteous cultivator? Where did he get that sword? (NOT Xin Mo, thanks, he used that thing once and then tossed it back into the Abyss before the portal finished closing behind him -- he knows a poisoned chalice when he sees one, although knowing the plot twist about that sword from the novel sure helped.) Where did he learn those forms? Is he... does he have a safe place to go home to? Someone to tend his injuries? Make sure he eats his meals?

SY, of course, stays silent. But it's difficult. Not only because Luo Binghe asks, but because he still looks... bad. Sunken, sorrowful, desperate almost. Shen Yuan can't figure out if he knows or not. Maybe he's unsure, maybe he's looking for SY to give him a sign, so that he can figure him out and then flip a switch and try to finish the job he started.

That can't happen. If they fight, SY will win, and he doesn't want to hurt Luo Binghe.

But even if Luo Binghe's not a heavenly demon, he is a highly accomplished cultivator, and it seems he's got his own breaking points to reach. Eventually he corners SY and gets a hand on his veil, and for a moment SY is sure he's going to rip it off, see his face, and confront him all "I knew it was you, you twisted evil demon, you won't escape justice a second time" and he feels a deep, icy terror close around his lungs--

Luo Binghe lets go of the veil before he can lift it.

But then something even worse happens. Because Shen Yuan's handsome, peerless, noble master breaks down. He falls to his knees, begging forgiveness, sobbing, clutching at his head like he's being driven to madness.

It all spills out of him, then. How he pushed his own dearest disciple into the Abyss, which obviously SY already knew, but also how he was apparently qi-deviating the whole time, and his senses could not differentiate between one kind of demonic "threat" and another. How he realized what he'd done only after he regained his senses hours later, and rushed back to the place where the tear to the Abyss had opened, but could not find a way in after the one he lost. How he had betrayed and thrown away the only person who cared about him, and couldn't even explain that he hadn't intended to. How he would accept anything, any punishment, hatred, penance, or revenge, if only he could see his disciple's face once more.

SY is stunned.

Apparently, Luo Binghe hadn't rejected him for his demon blood?

Not only that, but beforehand, he seemed to have valued Shen Yuan a lot more than Shen Yuan would have credited.

Is it a trick? Is he lying? SY would have guessed so, would have assumed that Luo Binghe's plan was to lull him into complacency only to turn on him once he finally had confirmation. But somehow, he just... doesn't think this is an insincere display. His old master is too cool for this stuff! He has too much dignity to just throw it away on a scheme! There are other ways to get what he wants.

Even if it is a lie, Shen Yuan is tired of running. He's the hero. He won't actually lose, and if it comes to it, it's still in his hands to decide if he wants to spare Luo Binghe or not (he does, of course he does, even if this whole spiel is an act). Plus he's got a backup plant body in one of Shang Qinghua's greenhouses if all goes to shit.

He takes the veil off himself.

Luo Binghe, teary-eyed, stares at him as if his face is the most beautiful he's ever seen.

Shen Yuan nearly puts the veil back on. His cheeks heat up. Dear Shizun, aren't you an immortal master? A noble peak lord? Isn't it your calling to vanquish demons? Get up off the dirty ground right this minute! Where did your dignity go? Shen Yuan did not spend all those nights doing the laundry to watch his teacher dirty his knees for no good reason!

There's a quaver in Luo Binghe's voice as he points out that Shen Yuan was terrible at doing laundry. Luo Binghe had to redo it the day after, all the time.

Shen Yuan chides at him that he should have made one of the other disciples do it then.

Luo Binghe just laughs, and stays on the ground, until finally Shen Yuan has to physically pull him up. Muttering about how he's being ridiculous, what's he crying for, why's he been moping so much, doesn't he know that handsome face should never look so bereft? Then he realizes what he's saying and shuts his mouth, but Luo Binghe just looks happy for the first time in years. Since the Abyss. How is it possible that SY, who actually had to slog through that awful place, can still smile more than Luo Binghe, who didn't?

They're standing so close. Holding on to one another. Almost as if... as if the scene's tone is... well...

Oh what the hell!

Shen Yuan closes the last little bit of distance between them, and kisses Luo Binghe.

f

hand hold~

so yesterday i found a reference of a lady holding a chicken on my gallery and. that one drunk lan zhan chapter ..