As If We Didnt Melt Into Each Other,

as if we didn’t melt into each other,

as if the lines didn’t blur,

as if our souls didn’t intertwine,

as if your arm isn’t perfectly the length of my back,

as if we don’t share a mind and a taste in music,

as if we hadn’t learned from each other in just a few days’ time,

as if you refused to show me where your foundation cracked,

as if you were trying to protect me,

as if you were letting me down gently,

as if you ever meant it each time you said me you loved me.

i fear i am too vast.

i would rather squeeze into a box than be scrutinized for not belonging to any of them.

alternatively.

Looking at the digital clock, red numbers aglow, the light doesn’t outstretch to where the room is graced with a moonlit hum. There, between these two echoing waves of luminescence, a shadow rests. A deep, deep, shadow, that you look into like you look to the bottom of the ocean. Unseen endlessness. These shadows exist in other ways, between other glints and gleams, these shadows pool up, with no discernable depth. There in those shadows, in this void, I indulge in the belief of other existence. Within these voids rests parallels, souls, worlds unknown. Since we cannot see what these shadows conceal, there is no way to say what does or does not lie beyond them. Maybe that is not a fair way to argue it, but what in this world is fair? In this world, lest I can imagine, lest I can enjoy. But in that one - there I can go as I please. There, those multiverses, those lost longings, those creatures I wish to meet. I imagine a warm, overdue greeting when I arrive in those worlds. Maybe in one of them, you still love me. Maybe in another, beloved pets live forever. Another, entities roar and garner a respect lost in this one. And another, there’s two moons in the sky, and each star talks. Universes await, and in each one I am welcomed. Floating in a fleeting world, only to disappear when the sun rises again, or when you turn on a light.

for once in my life, the past is past.

no photo of me before you holds the weight it used to.

no single day was ever as bright as mine are now.

now.

now, i am looking forward.

you have plucked me up, brushed me off, patted my head, and turned me around.

i am facing away from the past, looking the same direction as you. forward.

just like that, you have slipped out of my grasp.

i hold yet a fragment of you.

i must hold it firmly, for it cannot leave, yet i cannot hold it too tight, for i wish not to crush it,

i wish not to crush you.

yet you are still crumbling in my fingertips and soon there will be nothing i can do.

you have already decided to slip through by the cracks of my palms. i was never good enough to keep hold of you.

i will never forget the color of your eyes.

unfortunately that is only my demise.