How

How

One day

Changes

One

Chance

One game

The feeling

Of belonging

Is so important

I wanna see

How

My life goes

I wanna see

How I can grow

I wanna live

And see

If I am right

If there is a chance

For you and me

To gently be

Exist

Without the fears

Of being a wrong

Person

How can you be wrong

I love your kindness

I love how you care

For people

I love

That you care

I love that you try

I love that you don’t give up

Try and get the help

Don’t fly away

I wanna stay

This is powerful

As today

What if we run

From the sun

To the moon

And exist

Here

We are

I love people

Sooo much

I mean

There are annoying ones

But mostly

They are kind

And sweet

And nice

And just want to connect

With each other

What if all those loud people

Are just lonely

And fear to be overlooked

Who is powerful

And who is not

I enjoy

This

And I hope

It continues

To inspire

Me

I just wanna go

Run away

Not having to put up with all of that any more

Dysphoria is annoying as hell

It just sucks so much

I just wanna go

Run away

Not know that I am not who I thaught to be

Not lose hope

Not be so fucking tired

I hate it here

But there is so much I love

Community

Walks

Nature

Animals

Sports

Friend

I miss you so much

Everyone who ever died

Leaves a whole bigger than them

I don’t want to feel the pain anymore

It was such along time ago

I am gaining weight and I hate it

It sucks sometimes

I hate it here

If you would say those things

In a different context

It wouldn’t be okay

But us being unethical makes it okay?

Why do I have to hurt myself to live freely?

Why do I have to live a lie?

Cause no one understands it.

And you say those things to hurt us.

To claim that we can’t be human.

That your morals are more important than my life.

Why me?

And why disphoria again?

Where am I

Where are we

Gone forever

I will never get back my childhood

I will never get back my past.

The same mistakes.

The same heartbreaks.

I have isolated myself.

I have destroyed my future.

Out of the fear of failing it.

Trying sucks.

Trying the wrong things sucks.

I am too far gone now.

I am someone who can be helped

But my contradiction

And my violence against myself is unbearable

I use myself as a tool

To get what I want

But I am wrong

And I will forever be wrong

When will I be right again?

And now I think of you

Working your ass off

And it’s crazy to think

That you’re playing first division now

I am extremely proud of you

I am happy for you

That all your hard work paid off

And I hope one day our paths will cross again

One day you’ll play A national team

Wish you all the best

An old friend

Mistakes

And

Heartbreaks

Love

And

Home

Trying

Over and over and over again