Big Hugs To Anyone Who Needs It And This Is My Story Based On This Post

big hugs to anyone who needs it 🫂 and this is my story based on this post 🫂

shout out to the girls that hate their bodies but are trying really really hard to find the beauty and comfort in them because that shit is hard and takes a lot of time and is emotionally exhausting. i’m proud of y’all.

hi izzy

do you remember when everyone was telling you to be chill in first year because "it's just first year and it doesn't count toward honours"? for whatever reason, whether it be determination or anger over previous scores that you didn't manage to achieve, you decided to treat the first year like the final year before graduation. that's good and all, of course, but a balance should be found.

but then do you also remember when suddenly you got an offer into the degree you're at right now and getting into honours is now way easier than before? when you realised it was those exact same first year scores that got you here? yeah...just remember that. remind yourself that if you try your best, the uni will recognise that and you will recognise that

from izzy

[21:15] | nct huang renjun

“Don’t listen to society. Don’t look at their views. You're beautiful and I love you as you are. I promise.”

pairing » nct huang renjun x gn!reader (fast proofread once - lmk if i missed anything!)

trope/au » ​established relationship au!, non-idol au!

genre » hurt/comfort, fluff and angst (pretty balanced imo), renjun is concerned for your wellbeing, but he loves you and is willing to show that anytime!, renjun is comforting and patient, best boyfriend huang renjun, renjun letting you steal his clothes instead of buying new ones

word count, estimated reading time » 772, ~3 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader has trouble with body image, reader struggles with body changes in gaining and losing weight, mentions of being stuck between two clothing sizes, weighing body in the first few parts of the story, reader implied medium to long length hair, renjun is taller and physically bigger than the reader

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 nct dream masterlist 🤍 'especially to you...'

to the you who has doubted the image that any reflective mirror has shown you. surround yourself with people who love you as you are and love yourself as you are. you don't need to change and you don't need to force yourself to change.

if you stay true to yourself, treat your body with kindness, you will be able to see yourself in a healthier light.

it's not easy and it never was. the journey to be able to fully smile at yourself when you've been drowned in doubt is hard but i will pray that day for you will come.

It stares you dead in the eyes.

The meeting of the double arrow-like lines would only appear when you put a considerable amount of yourself with the help of gravity. Then when you do, it blinks alive, calculating the shift of your body and the amount of pressure you would willingly give them. You passed the single-digit stage a long time ago, the same time that you overgrew your baby crib. As you age and mature, you watch the first number change and morph, the next number coming along as it accommodates the changes in your body.

It doesn’t help that the scale is reflective, the fear in your eyes clear and the gulp of your throat resonated deeply in your head as you thought of the amount of food that you digested along with the lack of movement that spreads the entire week.

Maybe you shouldn’t have gone shopping today.

Or maybe, you should’ve never gone clothes shopping at all.

Your mind goes back to the image reflected on the shiny surface of the changing room. It tells you that even though you have made progress, the outfit that wraps around your skin isn't as pretty as you depicted on the mannequin by the big shop window.

Hypnotised to see the truth, your other foot raises, leaving condensation on the marbled floor due to stress. But before it could form a footprint on the glass, a pair of arms lifted you, kicking the machine to the best he could given the non-slip stickers on its bottom for user safety.

“You’ve just weighed yourself ten minutes ago,” the fact whispered in your ear directly. Renjun tightens his hold around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Talk to me, bubs.”

The worried gaze falls upon you as soon as you turn your head sideways. Tears well up in your eyes when Renjun gives a half smile, eyes tender and fingers reaching to swipe the loose strands of hair that tickle your vision. 

“I just feel stuck,” you confessed, hitching rapid breaths with the way your boyfriend turns you to face him, lower body slightly bent to face you head-on. “I tried a bunch of clothes today and I feel like I'm stuck between the two sizes—it just feels like,” your eyes wander around the place, the room seemingly spinning and the tears clouding your view.

Renjun’s hands envelop your shaking ones, pulling them closer to the beating of his chest, in an attempt to ground you back to the present. His heartbeat runs through your fingertips, slowly matching his calming ones and eventually syncing when he instructs you to breathe in the cooler air through your nose and exhale the carbon dioxide through your mouth.

“Those clothes aren't good enough for you then,” Renjun’s brown orbs intently focus on your tear-stricken ones. Without another notice, he cups your cheek, his thumb giving reassuring swipes to your itchy and sticky skin from the salt water. “They don't deserve to be put on your beautiful body.”

It sends chills down your system, closing your eyes to further focus on the tapping of his pointer on the back of your palm. Renjun nods, humming to the count of his fingers on your skin, seeing how your throat stops constricting by your cries, hushing you and pressing delicate kisses on your spent eyelids.

“Don’t listen to society. Don’t look at their views. You're beautiful and I love you as you are. I promise,” Renjun’s sincerity hits your body in a warm wave and your eyes are now crying for a different reason. “Oh?” He exclaims amusedly, the hand on your cheek still holds yours to guide your now relaxed face into the broadness and safety of his chest.

Renjun sways his body, alternating his body weight between his legs. A hand is wrapped securely around your waist, the other crossing diagonally across the back of your head. The fingers on top found a home in your scalp, massaging your negative thoughts away.

“I love you too, Junnie.” 

The nickname that sounds even lovelier gives his heart life, chuckling and hugging you tighter as he lets out a prolonged squeal, commenting on how adorable you are to him.

Renjun pulls you away momentarily, swooping in for his lips to meet yours, calmly and sweetly, caring and patient. It flows through his gesture and he’s glad you know how much he loves you with the way the corners of your lips could reach your ears.

“Besides,” he starts between the medley of pecks on your face, “why are you shopping for clothes when you're always stealing mine?”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 nct dream masterlist 🤍 'especially to you...'

tags: @k-films @kflixnet @starlit-network @kstrucknet

this is your reminder that if the person you label as your friend is truly a friend, they will never let you compare yourself with them.

they will pull you back up, and make you feel like there's no need to compare between you and them. they will make you feel like even though they might be in a better situation than you are, they will make remind you that circumstances are different and incomparable. even if you guys are both trying to achieve the same end point, in a competitive setting (not you being competitive with them and vice versa, but just the setting of the goal you're trying to achieve).

this is also your reminder that if you need to cry for an hour straight, you should also be able to go to that friend.

and now as the night slowly turns into morning and my to-do list isn't completely finished, i wonder who will win: anxiety or adhd

Hey... :(

How do you deal with criticism online? Sorry you had to go through that...

hi anon 🫂 i'm so so sorry that i have only seen this now 😭 not very good at scrolling past new notifications 😭😭 i'm going to answer this ask whilst assuming that you mean criticism as mean/hate.

to be perfectly honest: i don't handle it well. I've gotten some here and there, yet it seems like i still haven't developed 'resistance' towards it. but i guess for me, i take a step back and think about whether it might be a 'valid' attack or not. so for example, are they attacking my work because they just don't like it (which in that case, don't read it), or are they attacking my work because i forgot to put certain warnings?

i guess the latter isn't really an attack (but i perceive it in that way because i panic at that fact that i probably hurt someone when i had every chance not to). if it's the latter case, i usually just tell myself over and over again to learn from it and make sure to take extra care for my future works and edit old ones. this is a long process.

if it's the former, i usually think about it for a while and then remind myself that i don't write for other people. plus, people can just click away and the fact that they haven't and decided to even send a mean comment tells me that they have quite spare time in their hands imo (and they just decided to spend it on me because well, they're reading my work and i'm the most available to them at that moment to receive such a mean ask)

another one is just making sure that i have supportive friends as well around me. after that, i turn off asks for a while (which seems like i'm running away but you just gotta do what you have to do), and slowly turn it back on with anon off, then back to 'normal' with anon on.

i'm assuming that you're sending this because you're going through something similar. if so, i'm so sorry that it's happening to you. don't let their words get to you (WAY easier said than done) because it's your page and your writing style, and you should keep that close to you. if you change it, it's no longer yours. and when it's no longer yours, there's a big chance that you no longer will find joy in your works either. don't do that to yourself as it's very unfair (and ofc, the person is also very unfair to you).

block the account/anon! no shame in that! you're just creating a safe space for yourself! that's what matters most!