Save Yourself First

Save yourself first

Mikey x gn!reader

Angstish, no comfort, SPOILERS for the newest chapters. Battle of Three Deities fight end spoilers and etc. Y’all know what I mean if you’ve read the manga. IF YOU HAVENT READ THE MANGA AND DONT WANT TO BE SPOILED DONT READ

You and Mikey were lovers, now exes. Reader is the second time leaper(?) traveler?

Character deaths mentioned, hospitals, passing out, fighting

You’re too busy saving everybody else, to save yourself

Eyes which were once full of life, stare into Mikey’s with emptiness. Your body was shaking from how worn out it was from fighting all sorts of gang members and especially from the fight against South that happened just a few minutes ago. “They look just like me” he thinks, as he stares at you, laying bloody on the ground, holding onto a wound that was deeper and far worse than he thought. It seemed as if all light that you once had, was gone. Like you finally gave up trying to save everyone. Mikey squats down and looks at your face up close. You had more scars now, he noticed. They were littering your skin, telling stories of the many things you’ve seen. You were taking deep and shaky breaths, fear was radiating off of you, but so was defeat, as if you were waiting for him to finish what South started. You were waiting for him to kill you. Get rid of you. As if you were a mere toy which was now useless. And as Mikey gets lost in his thoughts, taking in the way your body looks now, he feels himself slipping out of his mind. Something darker looming over his head. Taking over his mind, soul and body.

You close your eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm down your breathing. But it was all so hard. You were hurting inside and out. Tired from all of the fighting that you had to go through. You always put everyone else above yourself. Saving them from all of the bad things that were happening around all of you. In the end, you couldn’t manage to save three people. Your dearest friends Baji Keisuke, Draken and lastly - yourself. Though you didn’t really care about the last one. You felt guilt consuming your body, thinking about the two lost souls.

Grasping onto hope and believing that your friends would somehow realise that you need help too, you never tried to even help yourself. Save yourself from everything. Keeping yourself on the lowest pedestal. Hoping they would extend their arm towards you and lend you a helping hand. They never did.

Let it all go. The thoughts whisper. And Mikey does. He closes his eyes and feels his heart getting emptier by the second. Seeing you slowly close your eyes, slipping into darkness, his hand reaches his chest, the place where his heart should be and he lets out a sigh. He promised himself to save you one day. Repay for everything that you’ve done. But he failed to do that.

“Ken-chin.. I feel empty.”

Mikey loses himself to himself. As he blacks out, he doesn’t remember anything. He doesn’t remember killing South, hurting Takemichi, Senju disbanding her gang. He doesn’t remember holding your bleeding body in his arms. He doesn’t remember bringing you to the hospital. He doesn’t remember laying on the roof of the hospital, waiting for the doctors to tell him you’ll be okay. And he doesn’t remember going to the place he now has to call home, Kokonoi and Sanzu waiting for him inside.

And once you opened your eyes, body limp in the hospital bed, thoughts ponder in your head. Why did you come back once again? Why did Takemichi? What were you two thinking? Then memories come rushing back. You were killed by a Bonten member. A vivid memory of Kakucho holding up a gun to your head and shooting you, flashes in front of your eyes. A tear rolls down your face. This whole thing. Time traveling.. it was never a blessing. It was a curse. You lost yourself long ago. You were now just a mere shadow of who you used to be. And you grab onto the sheets that were on top of your body, keeping it warm in the middle of a, strangely, cold July’s night. You look to the left and notice a calendar hanging on the wall. July 9th. You were out for two days. Probably because of blood loss. You think to yourself and close your eyes for a couple of more seconds.

Mikey keeps looking through the window of his room. It was raining. Seemed the perfect weather for his mood. He looks down at the object that he was holding in his right arm and feels his heartbeat get faster for a second. A photo from a few years ago, lays there in his palm. You standing to his left, kissing his cheek and Draken standing to his right, holding up a peace sign. Suddenly his vision gets blurry and the picture gets wet.

hi there!! Can i ask if bubblegum bitch will get a part 2? It was amazing! I love all ur works 💖you're one talented hooman

Hey!<33 Yeah, I’m thinking of writing a part 2, but idk what kind of ending I should do. So if any of you have suggestions, I would love to hear them! Also thank u sm<3

Why is making a masterlist such a hard task. I started one over a month ago and I still can’t force myself to finish it 😐

Unrequited love

And it's all fun and games/'Till somebody falls in love/But you already bought a ticket/And there's no turning back now

We all have seen fanfictions about toxic relationships with the TR boys. But what if it was a bit different? Reversed? Instead of you chasing them, it’s them chasing you. No matter how toxic you are.

18y/o(Haitani Ran/Smiley/Haitani Rindoux gn!reader)

Toxic!reader, a bit suggestive in Ran’s part?idk one night stands are mentioned.

Haitani Ran

Ran had always been cocky and had an inflated ego. But who could blame him? With his good and unique looks, tall height, lean, but muscular body figure, he was a love interest for most. Girls were crushing on him and his younger brother.

But that’s all it was. Crushes. He never gave a chance to anyone, deeming himself way too good for the lowlifes chasing after him. One night stands were the usual for him. Getting anyone he wants with just a few pick up lines and flirty looks. And he was completely fine with all of that. Why should you stress over a relationship, when you can have a one night stand whenever and then move on with your life as if nothing happened.

But that quickly changed, when a new student strutted their way into his school. Your head held high, a huge smirk adorning your face. (L/N) (Y/N) was a sight to behold. You looked like fine art, that everyone enjoyed to look at, but were too afraid to touch. It was obvious. One look at you and they could see it in your eyes. You were out of everyone’s league.

After just a few months, (L/N) (Y/N) was given the title of the school’s biggest heartbreaker. But the students still tried, hoping that they somehow have caught the attention of the beauty known as you.

Ran had to agree. You were breathtaking. But it was after his brother had been rejected by you, that he decided to try asking you out by himself. Used to getting whatever he wanted, he walked up to you and gave you a cocky smile, and a wink. But instead of being greeted with a smile, or a shy wave, he got greeted by a glare and a scoff.

“Not interested, Haitani.” Was all you said before turning around and walking away, leaving Ran standing in the middle of the hall alone and confused.

Ran had never felt rejection in his life. He always got anything and everything he wanted. And that’s all it took for him to completely fall for you. After that, he kept running after you, even after you pushed him away, warning him you’re not interested in a relationship.

And when you finally started flirting back with him, he felt as if he was in heaven. Walking like a dog on a leash after you. Even when his brother warned him, that the school’s heartbreaker was leading him on, he didn’t care. Loving the small bits of attention he got from you.

It was when (L/N) (Y/N) got bored of him and found another plaything to lead on, he finally got back into his senses and realised what was actually going on.

That was the first time Haitani Ran realised what a heartbreak felt like.

Smiley/Kawata Nahoya

His friends warned him. They saw all of the red flags from the start. Hearing stories about the infamous (L/N) (Y/N) and how they used whoever they thought was interesting, until they got bored.

But Nahoya never once listened to them. Thinking he knew you better than anyone else. It was him dating you after all. Not his friends. They didn’t know about the intimate moments you two had. The cuddles, long kisses, dancing in the kitchen of the Kawata household while cooking a meal for the both of you.

Of course, there were moments when he saw some toxicity in your actions, dismissing it with a “we all are a bit toxic.”. Even after you said you needed a break from him, after a small argument. Even after you threw around comments that one day you’ll leave him. He just didn’t care.

“Have you heard the quote ‘all red flags look like regular flags when you’re wearing rose coloured glasses’?” His brother asked him one day.

“No.” Nahoya answered and turned his back to Angry.

Their friends were supposed to come over soon, after hearing the news from his brother through a text message. Nahoya caught you kissing another person and all you did was throw him a small smile. After he broke up with you, you just shrugged your shoulders and walked away, not even trying to explain anything. You didn’t beg for forgiveness, or even apologise.

“Guess you should’ve listened to your friends.” Was all you said, before walking away.

Nahoya knew that he won’t forget you. You were his first true love. And he knew that one day, he’ll come crawling back to you, begging for your attention. You were unforgettable. And he had hope that one day, you’ll love him as much as he loves you.

Haitani Rindou

His brother shook his head, looking at his frowning younger brother. You two were fighting again. He could tell with his older brother senses. He tried to make Rindou break up with you, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

It was a matter of time when you would do that yourself. Because they both knew you will. The charming smile you gave to anyone who looked your way, your flirty manners and an outgoing personality, clashed with Rindou’s. He disliked the fact that you were flirting with other men and women. But you always angrily shifted the blame on him.

Saying things like ‘oh you don’t trust me?’ ‘I thought you knew that I could never cheat on you!’ ‘I might flirt with others, but at the end of the day, I’m still dating you, right? I’ll always come back to you. Or did you forget already?’

He knew you were toxic. He knew that from the start. The way you held yourself higher than anyone else. Judging anyone crossing your way and then sending them a fake smile and a wink. He saw the way your personality shifted when you finally got bored of using someone. The way you would snap your fingers and snarl at the person, saying mean comments about them and how boring they are.

Rindou knew, that one day you will be doing that to him. But for now, he was hoping that you’ll change. For him, preferably.

He took the phone out of his pocket and wrote a quick message, before sending it out to you.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault. Can we meet up? I miss you.”

Forget me

Shinichiro finally realises his feelings for you, but it’s too late.

(Sano Shinichiro x gn!reader x Akashi Takeomi)

Drabble? Kind of? Around 700 words.

Angst from Shinichiro’s side of story, fluff from Takeomi’s

Falling in love with Sano Shinichiro was easy. It felt like a cold blast of wind in the middle of an extremely hot summer. It was refreshing at first. You didn’t think too much of it. Shinichiro was an easy guy. Falling for every girl who even looked at him for a second. But for some reason, it was always someone else. And never you.

You thought you made it obvious. Throwing hints at him, that you indeed felt some romantic feelings towards him. Giving him Valentines day gifts, always giving him your full attention whenever he spoke, always smiling when he’s around. You even asked him out on a date and he agreed. You got your hopes up, but at the end of the day you realised he thought that this was just a friendly date. To just spend time alone, since you were “forced” to spend time with his other three friends Benkei, Takeomi and Wakasa.

Loving Sano Shinichiro felt like a form of self destruction. It was bittersweet. Always seeing how he tried his best to get the attention of girls that weren’t interested in him at all. It hurt. He got rejected time after time and he always came back to you with the biggest frown on his face. He would spend nights at your room crying, asking you what’s wrong with him and why does this keep happening to him. But you couldn’t do anything about your own feelings. You just hugged him and whispered encouraging words, trying to comfort him while your own heart was breaking.

Falling out of love with Sano Shinichiro was hard. The bone crushing hugs he always gave you, the way he said your name with so much joy, the way that he tried to make sure you never felt left out and always tried to cheer you up, even if it meant that he’ll have to make a fool out of himself, didn’t make it easier.

Slowly, but surely, you fell out of love with your best friend. You no longer cried yourself to sleep, or felt depressed. You started to enjoy the company of Shinichiro’s, and now your, friends. You especially enjoyed the company of Akashi Takeomi.

Falling in love with Akashi Takeomi felt right. It felt like it was just meant to be. The way he always looked around whenever someone mentioned your name, hoping that you’re somewhere near. You thought you were insane, but your other friends noticed that as well. It made your heart flutter. He knew your orders from your favourite restaurants or cafes and whenever you felt sad, he would show up to your house with your favourite food and drinks. Takeomi would only show his soft side to you.

Loving Akashi Takeomi felt like a fairytale. Romantic dates, dances and kisses in the rain, him always taking care of you, holding you close whenever you two were behind close doors, playing with your hair as you fell asleep laying on him, kissing the crown of your head. You took care of him as well, always patching him up, making sure he ate, drank water and got enough sleep. His kisses, short or long, were always full of love. And the soft looks he gave you, always made you blush.

Falling out of love with Akashi Takeomi didn’t even feel like an option.

Sano Shinichiro felt like beating himself up. How dumb was he? Once you left his grasp, he realised his emotions towards you. He wanted fo be selfish. He wanted you to leave Takeomi and come back to him. But he saw how happy you two were and couldn’t bring himself to do anything.

After all.. It’s his fault for letting you go.

ONE MORE LOVE SONG

INSPIRED BY MARC DEMARCO ONE MORE LOVE SONG PLEASE LISTEN TO IT WHILE READING I BEG

My first song fic I hope this isn’t bad. Sorry I disappeared for a while I had covid and felt like complete and utter shit

Sano Manjiro (Mikey) x gn!reader (around 1k words)

SFW! Comfort, fluff and then angst. Suicidal thoughts, a gun mentioned at the end, character death so SPOILERS

Another turn, another shift

Mikey thinks that life can’t get better than this. Driving around with his brother’s bike around Japan in night time. The city lights were shining bright and it all looked ethereal. It reminded him of a scene from a movie, that he watched with Draken not too long ago. Though no matter how beautiful everything looked, it couldn’t match with the way he was feeling right now. Your arms around his waist, as you hold on tightly, head put on his back.

One last kiss from her lips

As he finally reaches his destination, you hop off of the motorcycle and look at him with a bright smile and shiny eyes. And Mikey feels as if he finally unlocked the world’s biggest secret. He finally understood why everything exists and he was so glad it does. It all led up to this fairytale moment. It wouldn’t be the same if it weren’t for you. And as he build up the needed courage, Mikey gently puts his hand on your cheek and slowly leans forward. It was now or never in his eyes. So he did what his heart longed for. He kissed you.

Another dream you're putting down

You looked at Mikey as if he was your whole world. Everyone noticed it. And it was almost as if he was. It felt like he was. So you dropped everything whenever he needed help. Every night you went to bed later than usual, waiting for him to show up all bloody so you could patch him up. You skipped classes whenever he’d randomly show up at your school. Sometimes with Draken, sometimes alone. You were throwing away your dreams, because at that moment it all felt right. You didn’t want a future if Sano Manjiro wasn’t a part of it. So you didn’t care about grades, studies, or anything else. All that mattered was him.

After all this time, it turns out all you found

It was all perfect. Way too perfect. Fights between you rarely happened and when they did Mikey was fast to apologise. He stood at your door with flowers (that he actually bought and didn’t steal. He said they held more meaning that way) and waited for you. He always waited for you.

Is one more love out to break your heart

The news of Emma’s death broke you. But it broke Mikey and Draken even more. You tried to be there for him, tried to explain to the both of them that it was neither of their fault. No one expected for this to happen. But it didn’t matter. You didn’t matter to Mikey anymore. Nothing mattered to him anymore. You tried and tried. Whenever he pushed you away mentally, you always stood up and ran right back to him. Even if it was slowly killing you.

Set it up just to watch it fall apart

You knew this day would come. Your heart and mind were trying to warn you about the big upcoming heartbreak that was fated to get you. And they were right. You spent days, months, years trying to help him. Be there for him. You were so sure that you would somehow manage to help him fight his inner demons. He called you the light of his life. But all good things come to an end. So you could try and explain and lie to everyone that you weren’t expecting for this to happen. But you did. So did Draken. And as Mikey turned his back to you and everyone else, you were left just standing there. Feeling your heart break and emptiness filling the place where love once was.

Another try, another go

Never thought you'd feel this low

Mikey stood in his expensive penthouse. Looking through the glass windows. Japan looked beautiful at night time. It always did. But it didn’t bring the feeling of peace to him anymore. Now he just felt empty. He’d been feeling this way for the last twelve years. Manjiro wanted to turn back around and search for Draken, Mitsuya, Pah. He wished Baji was still here, Emma, Shinichiro. He hoped Kazutora was doing better now. And you.. Oh the things he’d do to see you again. He’d tear down the whole world to find you and kiss you again. But it was better this way for everyone. This was how he was supposed to keep everyone safe. From himself..

Another dream put to bed

After all this time, it turns all you had

As he lays in bed in the middle of the night, dead silence around him. He thinks about his life and everything he had to go through. Tears threatened to leave his eyes, but he tried to hold them in. He tried to hold everything in. A monster like him shouldn’t feel. After all, whatever he touched or loved - died. He was born just to ruin everything. His thoughts suddenly shifted to you and he felt his heart start to beat faster. He reminisces all of the moments with you. His hand slowly creeps towards his neck and he reaches the cold silver chain. His eyes travel down and he grabs a ring, which was hanging on the chain. He looks at the promise ring you gave him thirteen years ago. Turns out even a monster like him can’t actually hold his emotions back. Tears start to run down his face and he grabs a gun which was put on the bedside table. He slowly puts it to his head and closes his eyes.

And at that moment he realises something he should’ve realised sooner..

..It all leads up to you. It always does.

So he puts down the gun and starts to cry even more. He gets lost in his emotions for the first time in a while. He can’t leave you. He wants to see you bloom and reach your goals in life. Maybe after seeing that, he’d feel satisfied enough to gain the courage and pull that damned trigger.

Is one more love out to break your heart

Set it up just to watch it fall apart

One more love out to break your heart

Set it up just to watch it fall apart