Just Loudly Went "NO EATING IN MY CLAHSS!" Like That One Shark Teacher From Spongebob And Woke Up The

Just loudly went "NO EATING IN MY CLAHSS!" like that one shark teacher from spongebob and woke up the five month old, does this constitute towards Best Aunt or Worst Aunt points?

When Jaskier's angry or upset, it's always "Don't touch me!" "Get away!" "Hands off!" And then the bard will be gone for hours or days until he calms down.

Now, Geralt understands this kind of reaction. He himself doesn't want to talk to/be around others when he's angry. Much less let anyone touch him. The thing is...Jaskier acting that way never fails to make Geralt feel like shit. Jaskier is usually so affectionate that the sudden cut off is jarring. The first few times it happened, Geralt had been sure that Jaskier was fed up with him and leaving for good.

However, Jaskier always returns. They make amends, and the bard resumes his touchy, affectionate ways.

One day though, they have their worst argument yet. And although he had always come back before, Geralt is certain that this is the time Jaskier will leave forever. If Jaskier walks out that door, Geralt is sure he will never see him again.

So, unthinkingly, Geralt catches the bard's wrist.

Jaskier's eyes widen, panic replaces anger. "Geralt! Let me go! Let me go right now!"

Geralt loosens his grip reflexively in response to Jaskier's panic. Did the bard think the witcher would force him to stay?

He opens his mouth to try to explain.

Only, the world is...spinning? And Geralt's tongue is heavy. And everything is warm. Oh, he feels like he’s going to hurl.

Then, he passes out.

An unknown amount of time later, Geralt wakes. He feels kind of hungover but is otherwise fine. To his relief, Jaskier is sitting at his bedside.

When the bard notices Geralt is awake, he inquires after his health. At Geralt's reassurance that he is fine, Jaskier launched into a tirade about the number of times he had told Geralt "NOT TO TOUCH ME WHEN I’M MAD! AND THAT INCLUDES RIGHT NOW, YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH, YOU BASTARD!!!"

Geralt is a bit confused about how Jaskier being mad and his fainting spell are connected.

Two things are revealed:

1) Jaskier is part fae.

2) Some fae become toxic to touch when they are angry or upset. It is a magical trait, so it fades when the anger does. However, it can still be deadly.

This puts some things into perspective. Like how Jaskier, who seems to feel entitled to his emotions/reactions no matter how inappropriate they may be, is very skilled at cooling his temper. Or how, when he does become angry, he chooses verbal slander over physical violence. Or how when there IS a physical fight Jaskier wraps his hands in cloth and tries to use blunt instruments.

Bonus: Geralt tells all of the witchers not to touch Jaskier when he's mad, and Lambert takes that as a challenge.

I LOVE THIS!!!!!! OH MY GOODDDDDD!!! You take the things we spoke about and add onto it like putting glitter on a macaroni art craft, it's beautiful, It's so beautiful, oh my god! Poor Geralt thought his bard was leaving and poor Jaskier has to watch his stupid idiot Witcher touch him, gAH I love it! I want to read a 5k oneshot about it

Real footage of Pen sleeping

i fell asleep with a french barette in my hair and woke up to it out of my hair, clipped shut again, and resting on the pillow by my head, so uuuuuuh thanks to the ghost who was apparently concerned about me being comfy while sleeping

Everyone say thank you women with deep low pitched voices

Prompt 120

PROMPTAPALOOZA BEGINS... In place of August Eighth, Prompt 1/??? lol I'll check later 10-ish prompts from my promptapalooza backlogs are smacking you in the face today! From 120-130! Special thanks to @bakewrite for being so supportive of me, especially during the makings of promptapalooza :) Geralt hates fighting sorceresses. He hates it even more when he has to do so with Jaskier nearby. "Jaskier, I told you to fucking run!" He growls at the bard in between slashes of his sword, and the wretched woman he's fighting raises up in interest. "Oh?" She coos, and slaps a hand onto Geralt's head, and then everything goes dark. Jaskier watches in horror as some sort of magical scary witchy blast shoots into Geralt's fucking head, and alright, maybe he screams a little, but she already knew he was there so it's not like he gave away his position! Geralt falls to the ground, and the sorceress turns to look at Jaskier with an ominous grin. "Do you like it? It's my favorite one to cast... But I thought it could never work on a Witcher. They've no feelings." "Why, you-" "Hush, bard. I know now that I was wrong. That's why I'm so excited." Jaskier glances between her and Geralt repeatedly, before doing what Geralt always tells him NOT to do, he walks closer. "What have you done to him?" "A spell that makes him kill who he loves most. And if someone were to stop him from doing so, they'll be killed too. I, personally, am hoping for a violent breakdown after he realizes what he's done. Perhaps he'll go on another rampage like in Blav-" "That's not what happened!" "Tsk tsk. You're spending too much time defending your Witcher and not nearly enough time running, Bard." And with that, she disappears in a cloud of smoke. Jaskier frantically inspects Geralt. He's relatively uninjured, thank meletele- Geralt's eyes suddenly snap open, and he grabs Jaskier's wrist in a bruising grip. "Aow- Geralt-" Jaskier cries out in confusion, before remembering what the sorceress said. His eyes widen and he desperately tries to distance himself from Geralt, but he won't let go of his wrist. "Geralt- Geralt, please stop! It hurts! Geralt, come on! Snap out of it!" Jaskier pleads, but Geralt won't let go, and the grip is getting tighter. Jaskier hears something snap before he feels any pain, and he panics. He lifts a leg and kicks Geralt in the face. Geralt lets go with a snarl, and Jaskier runs to Roach. Jaskier knows there's no way he can outrun Geralt, but if he takes their horse, he just might be able to put enough distance in between them for him to figure out how to heal Geralt before Geralt snaps any more bones. He looks down at the hand with the injured wrist and sighs. No lute for a while, he supposes. No matter. Geralt is more important.

So proud of my state, look at our mighty decor

this is the funniest fucking billboard possible. who the fuck paid for this