Prompt 22

Prompt 22

Geralt rides into a town only to see a small family fumbling around in the street in a panic. Apparently they're a family business of fishermen who are worried that something much bigger than a fish has swam into a trap of theirs. Geralt gets a promise of money for getting rid of it and goes off to kill whatever water monster it is. But he gets to where they describe the beast and he finds... A mermaid? It's trapped and tied around in a net, facing away from Geralt, and clearly in pain, though he doesn't know why, yet. The webbed ear of the mer flicks and it turns to face him, hissing. Geralt holds his hands out in a placating gesture and sloowly walks closer, only for the mer to slam the full weight of it's tail into Geralt's legs and sweep him off his feet. Gods damn it. It can never be easy. Geralt draws his sword, and begins cutting the trap off the mer, even as it hisses, flails, and tries it's absolute damnedest to claw his face off. He ends up straddling it like it's a fucking gator, and when he frees it of it's restraints, it's only then that he can finally make out the giant wound on the mer's side. Too big and nasty a wound to just release it into the water. Oh great. It's gonna LOVE this. But it's not like he has to DO anything about it. He's a cold, emotionless witcher. He doesn't care of the mer lives or dies. If the wound is infected or kills the mer, he couldn't give less of a damn. So Geralt is currently walking up to his room at the inn, with a very angry hissing mer thrown over his shoulder, clawing the shit out of his armor. When he asks for the bath to be filled, blessedly nobody asks any further questions. The mer stops struggling as soon as it's in the bath, but it sure is still hissing at him. Geralt puts his sword away and takes off his armor and the hissing lessens. Now it's just whenever he gets too close. Big problem. He needs to get close in order to patch up it's wounds. The mer has the biggest, brightest, inhumanly blue eyes, with slitted pupils. It has sharp teeth, and twinkling iridescent blue scales dusting across the edge of it's face and it's cheeks. It stops hissing at him to listen to the bard perform downstairs. It stops attacking him, even as he pokes and prods at their wound. This is great! Except for when the bard stops and the mermaid goes back to thrashing and screaming- So Geralt is forced to hum songs under his breath to calm it. It's pupils expand and it stares at him in awe, with a slightly parted mouth. Geralt's just happy it stopped flopping around like a- w- Well... Like a fish. He fixes it all up, and shares his food, and softly hums to it the whole night, before it curls up a bit more and starts nodding off. He stops humming and steps to the inn's bed, only to be surprised when hearing a voice behind him murmur "Thank you." Oh shit-

Prompt 26

Jaskier has been recognized as the runaway viscount of lettenhove by a band of bandits. Embarrassingly, they seemed to have found him in the midst of buying a personalized gift addressed "To My Beloved." Perhaps a hairclip shaped like a dandelion, or perhaps an embroidered handkerchief, or something else dainty and delightful. The bandits drag Jaskier away for ransom, even as he tries futilely to explain that his lover will NOT be polite to them if they continue down this road. I mean, whatever fancy shmancy noblewoman whose skirt he's chasing can't be that threatening to their operation, right? They write up a ransom note, intending on sending it along with a lock of Jaskier's hair, and a few drops of his blood to show they're serious. They slice across Jaskier's wrist, but there's much much much more blood than they expected, because the man slicing his wrist is suddenly missing his head. Huh. Perhaps they've underestimated Jaskier's beloved. He did try to warn them.

HOLY COCK AND BALLS, I HAVE 1000 LIKES, WHWAT TEH FUCK AIWHFPAHIAHGPAWGWIAGPWHAPGWPHAIWGPGWAPHPWGHAIGWA I WILL RIP OUT MY OWN HAIR WHILE JUMPING INTO A SWAMP TO GET EATEN BY ALLIGATORS I AM PISSING ON THE KITCHEN TILE I AM EATING GLASS I AM WHIPPING I AM NAENAEING I AM ROLLING IN THE HILLS I AM DYING MY HAIR I AM DYING I AM ASCENDING I AM BEATING UP GOD I AM BEATING HIM IN CHESS I AM UPPERCUTING HIS NUTS I AM ALIVE I AM THE WORLD I AM P

Prompt 25

Jaskier knows that look.

L U S T....

For his own lithe nubile baowdy! Geralt's gaze l i n g e r s when Jaskier is bathing in a creek, or when he stretches out in his bedroll, or when he licks his lips after a fine sip of toussainti wine. But Geralt still isn't bending him over and going to town. Jaskier decides he must be even more alluring. He'll start dressing more and more provocatively and scandalously until Geralt's restraint breaks and they end up making out against a wall or something. If it turns out Geralt isn't interested, at least someone in his audience will want to bugger him silly after seeing his outfits, right? Win/win!

Prompt 31

There was meant to be northern lights tonight but it kinda sucked and you couldn't see it (i think we were a few hours too early to see it) and now I'm just thinking about our boys looking at the stars... and the northern lights show up... and jaskier is sobbing and wanting to write a million songs about the beauty of nature, but Geralt lives in the coldass mountains and has probably seen them before in his like hundred years of living awjgphapwhgpa

Why did they do that tho

Every once in a while I think about how in the books, Geralt does anything and everything for his Dandelion, and goes murdercrazy when Dandelion is threatened/captured, and Geralt loves and looks after his Dandelion at every point And the netflix show made Geralt hate him, ignore him, and barely acknowledge his pain after getting TORTURED I just- YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AN ASSHOLE TO YOUR FRIENDS TO BE A 'BADASS HERO'!

In my heart they are happy and in love and geralt's not a cunt <3 I am a okay with the the half of the fandom that is firm on them just being friends, hell yeah they're friends! Amazing ones, at that! But you know who we all hate? The people who agree with TWN!Geralt's treatment of his bard... For shame... For shame....