Say No To This X Epic: The Musical

Say No To This x Epic: The Musical

Eurylochus:

There's nothing like years out on the seas

Soldiers under stress meets someone looking pretty

There's trouble in the air, you can smell it

Captain faced her by himself, I'll let him tell it

Odysseus:

I hadn't slept in a week

I was weak, I was awake

You've never seen a king and captain more in need of a break

Longing for Penelope

Missing my kid

That's when Circe and her nymphs turned all my men to pigs, I said

Odysseus:

Hey there, lady of the palace

I'm so sorry to bother you at home

But I sent men to patrol, yet only one came back alone

She said

Circe:

All men have done us wrong

Beatin' us, cheatin' us, mistreatin' us

So yours are in their true forms

I'll never have open arms

Odysseus:

So I told her ‘bout my flower that lets me claim her power, she said

Circe:

It's like that, then

Odysseus:

I told her ‘bout how I had picked it with my bare hands

They were like god hands, she said

Circe:

From Hermes, then

Odysseus:

Then I said, "You should release my men"

She turned red, she led me to her bed

Let her legs spread and said

Circe:

Stay

Odysseus:

Huh?

Circe:

Hey

Odysseus:

That's when I began to say

Girl, what do you mean by this

Circe:

What do you mean you don't know what I mean by this

Don't you know I look so helpless

Your body should be saying, "Hell, yes"

Whoa

Odysseus:

No, I don't know what you mean by this

You want me to betray my wife for this?

In my mind, I'm tryin' to go (go, go, go)

Then her mouth is on mine, but I still say

No, no (Penelope)

No, no (Penelope)

No, no (Penelope)

No, no (Penelope)

Odysseus:

After the witch tried to seduce me,

Which confused me, my wife is not named Circe

So yes, after this endeavor, I became a beggar

For everyone's sakes I had to beg her, I said

Odysseus (+Circe):

Circe, I hope my words get through to your heart

For twelve years, my family has been apart

Our trip at sea has started to run out of luck

You see, we pissed off Poseidon and now we're so (fuuuu)

Odysseus:

Yeah, so, we made the wrong god gain a strong grudge

All because we may have given his son an eye nudge

But man, I just keep dreamin’ of seein' my wife

If the tides ain't right, then I'll miss my child's whole life

Circe:

I heard his words and my heart begun to race

Poseidon's such a disgrace, he said

Odysseus:

Circe

Circe:

Still dressed, apologetic, a mess, he looked pathetic, he cried

Odysseus:

We must go, please

Circe:

So Poseidon's wrath won't let up?

Odysseus (Circe):

I didn't realize he was the father (stop crying gods dammit, get up)

It was mercy, not a bother (you are ruined)

Please don't leave me with him, helpless (He is helpless, how could I help him?)

Circe (Odysseus):

I'll give you what you want so you can be free (Penelope, Penelope)

Whatever you want, I've been swayed

You’ll be safe (Gods, show me how to go home to her)

Odysseus:

I just wanna go home to her

Circe (Odysseus):

The situation's not yet helpless (helpless)

And my heart is being selfless

Odysseus (Circe):

Please, show me how to get home to her (whoa)

How can I get home to her?

I started losing hope (hope, hope, hope)

Then Circe released my men like I knew she would (yes)

Penelope

Odysseus (Soldiers):

Penelope, I just said no to this

Although there's no way I can go (home, home, home)

Circe:

Well…

There are other ways back home

Which ones of these arbitrary trauma-induced rules do you follow?

No spending money, ever. what if you need it later and your life depends on it.

Assume that all strangers are 3 seconds close to becoming hostile. fawn to keep them friendly.

No delegating tasks. no telling other people to do things you could potentially do yourself. what if they mess up.

Assume that everyone will consider you a burden if you do 1 single mistake that inconveniences them. do all that is possible to not make that mistake.

Do not admit when things are going wrong. wait until theres no other option but to ask for help, and even then consider not doing that.

Always act like you're okay. not doing so might make you seem 'not normal' and 'accused of being crazy and unstable'.

Do anything for friends, even if it sounds weird, dodgy, illegal. you want to prove that you're fun and easy going and helpful and useful and extremely cool with anything.

Never let it show if you're suspicious of someone. never say out loud that you think their intentions are bad. that might set them off.

If hurt, hide and isolate. Do not let anyone see you hurt.

Do not ask help for problems you feel are your own responsibility to solve. Even if you don't see yourself solving them successfully. If you can't do it, assume nobody can help you.

Help others to try and build positive relationships. Don't accept help so you don't end up relying on them for anything.

Do not start things that involve help or participation from other people. People are not reliable.

Assume that institutions, government, police, social services, and any kind of groups of people are all considering you a nuisance, and would attack you on sight, in every single situation. Never rely on them or assume they would do anything else.

No arguing, confronting, or standing up for yourself unless the situation is absolutely unsurvivable otherwise. Lay low until doing otherwise is seriously damaging your mental health and ability to live.

Give up on hopeful social encounters before they disappoint you. If you have to interact with people, assume the worst is about to happen.

No allowing yourself to idealize, or dream of positive future with people. It's a trap and your expectations need to be either extremely realistic or low.

Assume that fancy and expensive things don't exist for you. Despise them and get away from them.

No comparing yourself and your life to how other people live. It causes depression and despair. Other people's lives and standards of living are none of your business.

Do not showcase any skill or brag about any achievement. Jealous people can destroy you for satisfaction.

Assume people think the worst of you and don't consider changing their mind. Just try to keep out of their way.

Do not display anger. You don't want to be called insane or get arrested. You don't know what people could potentially blame you for if you're openly angry. But other angry people are dangerous and you need to get away from them.

If you follow more than half of these, you have a trauma-induced problem. These are not normal or healthy. These are not developed in a healthy environment. These are extremely self-protective, isolating, ruled by terror of the world and the people living in it. If you follow these, something bad has been done to you.

So accurate

Overthinking bros

*INTP and INTJ, standing outside in the rain*

INTJ : Maybe we should move inside...

INTP : Yes, I was actually thinking about it !

*nothing happens, they’re still standing*

INTP : But on the other hand... wouldn't it be a too big energy drain ? I mean... maybe it’s easier to keep standing here, until the rain ends...

INTJ : Hmm... interesting theory, let me think about it...

*both enter into deep meditation, while it’s still raining*

INTP : ...however, maybe you were right : the best solution would be to move inside...

INTJ : Yes... I reached the same conclusion.

*silence. they’re staring absentmindedly at their wet clothes and shoes*

INTJ : So... when do we move ?

INTP : Let me think about it for a moment !

INTJ : Of course, let’s not make hasty decisions.

INTP : Above all, no precipitation, we have all the time !

*it’s now hard for them not to shiver with cold*

INTJ : Maybe... we should really go inside, now ?

INTP : I fully agree, let’s go !

*at the moment they’re starting to move on, the rain stops*

INTP : Ah ? What did I say ? We've almost made an unnecessary movement !

INTJ : Yes. Luckily, we’ve taken the time to think carefully... but now, we’re completely wet.

INTP : It’s very secondary.

EPIC has a character arc dynamic I can't explain in a succinct way, but it's one of my favorites and I want more media to do it. It's like...every character is simultaneously absolutely at fault and completely innocent. like, okay.... Odysseus sacrificed his own crew BUT he wouldn't have had to do that if Eurylochus had listened to him and left the cows along BUT Eurylochus wouldn't have disobeyed him if Odysseus hadn't betrayed the crew BUT Odysseus wouldn't have betrayed the crew if Circe hadn't sent him on a crazy mission to the underworld where he realized he needed to be hashtag Ruthless BUT Circe wouldn't have sent them there if Hermes never given Odysseus the power to stop her leading to him gaining her trust BUT Hermes wouldn't have needed to do that if Odysseus had just listened to Eurylochus and ran away instead of helping their friends BUT they wouldn't have needed to abandon their friends if Eurylochus had done better at keeping them out of trouble BUT they wouldn't even be on Circe's island if Poseidon hadn't attacked them, BUT Poseidon wouldn't have attacked them if Odysseus had just killed Polyphemus BUT Polyphemus wouldn't be blind if he hadn't attacked the crew BUT he wouldn't have attacked the crew if they hadn't killed his sheep BUT the crew wouldn't even be in Polyphemus' cave if the lotus eaters hadn't sent him there BUT they wouldn't have gotten the idea to go there if Polites hadn't been so insistent on being kind and asking for help BUT can you really fault a man who just got out of a ten year war for not wanting to see anymore bloodshed? But the most interesting part about it is that I don't think there's an alternate path. In any other story, you can say "what if x just hadn't done y?" One simple mistake in any other story could turn the tide. But the thing about greek mythology is that there's a heavy belief in fate. No matter what you do, you will always end up in the same place that was written in the stars. The inbetween doesn't matter. Odysseus doesn't have some sort of lesson to learn. In fact, none of this would have happened if Polites hadn't put the idea into Ody's head that he needed to be merciful. Now, again, I am NOT blaming Polites. I could write a whole essay on how every important member of the crew seems to have a different coping mechanism for how they dealt with the horrors of war but we don't have time for that right now. The point is; this was not preventable. Odysseus' journey involves getting from Troy to Ithica. Everything else is just a pit stop as someone ELSE's journey concludes. Polites is fated to die on the journey home. Elpenor is fated to die while drunk. Eurylochus is fated to be betrayed by a close friend. I suppose that's why The Odyssey is a tragedy

Okay okay but consider possible batfam fic idea:  

so Bruce is in an emergency justice league meeting that got called but because its taking place at night he has a comm on in his ear playing at a low volume because all of the batfam are out on patrol around gotham covering his patrol route for him and because you know B is a paranoid, overprotective fucker he just to make sure everything is going smoothly for his kids but he doesn’t plan on actually letting them know he’s tapped into their network because he can already hear the lecture from Dick about trusting them to take care of the city.  

So he’s listening to them quietly while also paying attention to Clark talking about some alien diplomacy issue and his kids are YAPPING away about the stupidest shit to one another cause they don’t have B telling them off for ‘unprofessional unnecessary chatter while on patrol’ and  you’re getting a mix of all the dynamics between them all and the longer the meeting is going on the more B’s eye is just TWITCHING because his Dad senses are just going hay wire and he is just here like ‘I cannot say anything in front of the league because they cannot know I have children cause I'm Batman and I work alone blah blah blah’, usual brooding, but Damian and Tim are squabbling with one another about a rescue that took place an hour ago and Dick is challenging Jason to a parkour contest and Steph is challenging the Riddler to a riddle off with riddles she made up and have no answer just to piss him off and his dad sense is just like an alarm going off and then he just cant take it anymore cause Duke (pretend he’s on nightshift to make up for the man down or smth idk shh) says something like ‘I'm going to do my book report in the morning Richard leave me be’ even though Bruce KNOWS he isn't going to do it in the morning, this has happened before they have an AGREEMENT, a CONTRACT god damn it but they don't know Bruce is listening to the comms Duke just goes something like “its fine B won't even find out!” and Bruce just LOSES it there and then and just presses his comm and goes “NO. No, stfu all of you I am taking charge here” and he just starts going off on them all for the different things they were whining about like

“No Signal, go and do your damn book report right now you are not going to be doing it in the morning you always say you will and you never wake up early enough to get it done so then you end up speed doing it in the car while nearly stress crying and I am cannot deal with that while running on 49 hours of no sleep so go and do it right this damn minute. I am TIRED, I am tired boy go. GO. I love you, goodnight.” 

“N go and unload the damn dishwasher. I asked you four. FOUR days ago to do it and A is not coming home until next week please I am begging you I have been drinking my coffee out of bowls and a straw for days now. Thank you, I love you goodnight.”  

“Red Robin. Put the coffee down. No- I know its in your hand I can feel it. I can feel it in my BONES child you cannot hide from me, down. Now. Good. Get a piece of fruit and go to bed. No I don't give a fuck if- no. I don't care if the pentagon has laughably easy security to bypass right now it has been over 72 hours since you closed your eyes I WILL call A I will, I’ll do it right now. I’m calling him right now- good okay goodnight. I’m sending Dick to check on you to make sure you’re actually sleep. I love you too goodnight”  

“Robin I know you're there. Damn right go to bed, Titus can go with you yes you don't have to ask every night baby its going to be the same answer, I love you goodnight.” 

“Hood and Spoiler stop trying to goad rogues into fighting each other and go home. Hood will you- thank you. Goodnight I love you both....no S I will not ask Ivy if she’ll make you real life lil shop of horrors plant to leave at your ex’s house please stop asking. Goodnight.”   

"C are you- I love you too."

And he just lets out this enormous, patented Dad sigh and looks up after a few moments and realizes the entire justice league is just watching him absolutely GOBSMACKED because oh my god how long has this been going on for?? because like what the fuck this was cold, calculated, ‘they think he's actually a robot’ Batman, who just all of a sudden just went BOOM father mode is activated, this is a patriARCH, you know? Daddy bats alright. And he's just like, his facial expression doesn't so much as twitch but a light blush just appears on his entire face and then Clark is just like HEART EYES and Hal is just like HEARTEYES (??!!) and Barry is suddenly having a sexuality crisis because what the fuck is this, and Diana is just like, speechless but in love and he just mumbles after a few moments “...you can continue your speech Clark I apologize for my lapse in professionalism” and Hal is just like “NAH MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE NOT BREEZING PAST THAT WHAT THE FUCK SPOOKY??” and then the entire situation just devolves in chaos.  

convin, Guardian!AU, i love these two so freaking much (as much as i hate drawing wings)