Taking Over Me | Aizawa Shota X Reader

Taking Over Me | Aizawa Shota x Reader

Part One | Part Two | Part Three |

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!Guardian Angel!Reader, canon typical violence, character injury, angst, hurt, comfort, fluff, medium-slow burn because Shota is bad at feelings, more tags to come as the story develops..

Note ~ Hi, Lovelies! Here's the next part of the story, I hope that you all enjoy! And if y'all could, please send some motivational vibes my way because I am sorely lacking! Anyway, I love and appreciate you all, My Lovelies! <3

You sit at the end of Shota’s hospital bed watching him sleep. It wasn’t long after arriving at the hospital that his translucent figure flickered harshly, then vanished. Much to your relief, his ghostly apparition’s disappearance only meant that his soul firmly planted itself back into his body. But sitting cross-legged at his feet, your eyes tracing the bandages covering his face, you still feel such a strong sense of failure. Along with the failure is a new, unfamiliar feeling.. loneliness.

The day passed with Shota stuck in a deep, medication-induced slumber. Doctors and nurses came in and out of the room to check on him. At one point, Hizashi came by to sit at Shota’s bedside and quietly cry for a bit. You had spoken some with his Protector, the being feeling it necessary to commend you on all of your efforts to keep Shota safe during the attack. Despite your feelings on the matter, you thanked the other Protector for their kind words. When Hizashi was told that he had to leave for the night, his Protector bid you farewell and you nodded your head to them as they left.

The hours tick by slower than you’ve ever felt before, but soon enough light from the full moon outside casts a wondrous glow in the room. You marvel at it as you sometimes do since beings such as yourself don’t require sleep. After a while, the feeling of being watched pulls your attention from the window. You look first toward the door, wondering if a nurse and their Protector had somehow sneaked into the room. Seeing no other being, you slowly turn your gaze to Shota’s face, eyes widening as they meet his partially opened ones.

“Do you sit at my feet like a cat every night?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he continues looking at you with lidded eyes. A cross between a scoff and a bewildered laugh leaves your mouth. You choose to ignore your confusion, obviously something about this lifetime is different, even if you don’t know what or why.

“I do not… Oftentimes, I stand at a window and observe the night… I can move if you are uncomfortable with my current position…” You offer, already preparing to stand.

“No… The static feeling of your presence is.. nice.” He whispers as his eyes slip shut, his breathing deepening to the usual cadence it takes when he’s asleep.

‘He.. he can feel my presence..?’ You ask yourself as you sit in silent shock. You shift back into your original position and wish that there was someone or some other being you could hurl all of your questions at.

~~~~~~~~~~

Both you and Hizashi’s Protector stand near the window as the two humans talk. Hizashi had arrived earlier this morning just before Shota woke up, so you didn’t have the chance to test if he could truly still see and talk to you. You now find the test unnecessary with Shota’s eyes occasionally drifting in your direction every now and then. By the nth time Shota’s dark eyes meet yours, you’ve had enough of your fellow Protector’s questioning looks.

“I am just as confused as you are…” You tell them, pulling your eyes from Shota’s to look at the Protector you’ve known for a good fifteen years by now.

“So, he can see you…” Akari states rather than asks, and you nod your head.

“When he.. when he was dying yesterday.. his soul separated from his body and we were able to talk to one another… I do not understand why.. and when he was brought here, and his soul re-bound itself to his body, he was still able to see and talk to me… The whole situation has left me truly.. puzzled…” You explain, finding it a struggle to get the words “he was dying” out of your mouth. The guilt and shame that you’ve had to repeatedly shove down worming their way back to the surface along with your confusion.

“That is quite peculiar… Is.. is this your first pairing with his soul?…” Akari’s hesitant question catches you off guard, and you look at them with a stunned expression.

“N-no, but.. have you had repeats as well?…” You whisper, desperate to know if this sort of thing has happened to any other Protector. It’s Akari’s turn to look stunned, and a look of relief washes over their features.

They cast a glance over at Hizashi before looking back to you with a small smile, “Only with Hizashi’s soul… This is my third lifetime as his Protector…”

Akari’s admission draws a gasp from your mouth, and you can’t help but feel relieved that another one of your kind knows some of what you’re going through. Feeling Shota’s eyes on you, you turn to meet his questioning gaze. You shake your head slightly, silently telling him that you’ll talk with him later. He stares at you for another moment before looking back toward Hizashi.

“This is my fourth lifetime as Shota’s Protector… I was beginning to think I was the only one experiencing this.. and I never felt the need to ask any other Protector about it… I simply figured that it was just part of the job…” Akari nods their head in relation to your words and casts another glance at Hizashi.

“What do you think is the reasoning for it?…” They quietly ask, as if voicing their question any louder would make everything fall away and send them off to another pairing.

Your own gaze wanders to Shota, a small smile pulling at your lips at his feigned annoyance over whatever Hizashi said, “I am not quite sure.. but whatever the reason may be.. I am just happy to be Shota’s Protector…”

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s early evening when Hizashi takes his leave, promising to come back tomorrow morning to pick up Shota when he’s discharged. You gaze out the window as a nurse comes into Shota’s room and feeds him dinner. With his arms in casts, the nurse has to actually feed him and now that he can see you, you figure that you won’t hurt his dignity more by watching him be fed. It’s only when you hear the door close behind the nurse that you make your way back to his bedside.

Shota eyes you for a moment before carefully leaning his head back on the pillow and closing his eyes with a tired sigh, “You can sit down if you’d like.”

Wordlessly, you accept the invitation and sit cross-legged on the spot where he had made space for you at the end of his bed. Absentmindedly, your eyes trace the paths of his bandages like you’ve done a hundred times over since he’s been in the hospital. Sensing your eyes on him, Shota opens his and studies you for a moment or two.

“Stop it.” He demands in a firm yet gentle tone, and your gaze pulls from his bandages to meet his stern one.

“What?…” You question, slightly confused, and he lets out another sigh.

“Stop beating yourself up.” He clarifies before continuing, “You did more than enough to protect me back at the USJ. I put myself in this bed. Not you. Me.”

Biting your lip, you search Shota’s eyes for the blame you feel you deserve, but all you find is the firm resolve that was in his tone, “If.. if you insist…” You relent quietly, a bit of doubt still laced in your tone. Taking what he can get, Shota lets the matter go for now and chooses to move the conversation along.

“Earlier, when Hizashi was here, I assume you were talking to his..” Shota pauses to think about what to call you and your kind.

“The term ‘Protector’ works just fine, Shota… Most of us refer to each other as such, anyway…” You provide with a small smile, appreciating his effort to call your kind by the “correct” name.

“Okay, then.. You were talking to his Protector? I couldn’t see or hear them like I can with you, but I figured you weren’t just talking to yourself.” Shota’s voice holds the same tired, stoic tone you’ve come to know over the last thirty years, but you can see the curiosity in his eyes.

“And, if I was talking to myself?… What then, human?…” You tease with a playful smile, and you can tell by the small, amused huff that Shota lets through his nose that he’s hiding a small smirk underneath his bandages.

“Then I would assume that we both have brain damage,” he jokes, albeit dryly, but you’ve always found humor in his brand of comedy.

Your giggle gives an ethereal echo and you shake your head at him, “Their name is Akari… I suppose they could be considered a friend… At the very least, they are somewhat of a coworker to me by human standards… I have interacted with them quite a bit since you became friends with Hizashi… They informed me earlier today that they seem to be in almost the same situation as I…”

Shota gives a slightly surprised and intrigued look before an almost dismayed sigh leaves his mouth, “I can’t believe I haven’t thought to ask until now… What’s your name?”

A small, amused laugh passes through your lips, “Considering that you were not even supposed to know of my existence, it is quite alright… Most of us do not have names and some will choose a different name for themselves with every new pairing… The name I have chosen for myself is Y/N…” You inform him before giving your name with a warm smile on your face.

Shota repeats your name quietly to himself as if testing it on his tongue, and something about hearing him say it makes you feel warm inside. Your mind doesn’t have time to question the feeling when he speaks again, “So, what is this ‘situation’ that you mentioned?”

You find yourself hesitating for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain the whole thing to a man who lives almost religiously by logic and rationality. You suppose that since he took to finding out about your existence so well maybe your next words won’t sound completely.. insane.

“Let us start with how long I have been protecting souls…” You begin gently, hoping that he can manage to put aside whatever his beliefs or disbeliefs are about concepts beyond the human plane of existence.

Once you’ve finished explaining your entire confusing and strange situation, a long silence follows. The look in Shota’s eyes is hard for you to read as he stares down at his lap, so you’re not sure what he could possibly be thinking. Feeling like you’ve finally pushed him over the edge of thinking he has truly lost it, you silently stand and move toward the window. You watch the sun slowly dip below the horizon as the silence continues. You hear movement behind you and your intuition spikes causing you to whip around to see Shota slowly standing up from the bed.

“What are you doing?… You should be resting still, Shota…” Your confused and concerned words do nothing to stop Shota from shuffling his way to your side. When he gets to the window sill, he leans lightly against the wall and gazes outside for a few moments before looking at you.

“Let me get the facts straight,” he starts, quietly. “You’ve been protecting people for thousands of years, without the need for reason. In all that time, you never protected the same person more than once until me. You also believed that you were the only one experiencing this until your talk with Hizashi’s Protector. Even so, you still don’t know why this is happening. Does that about sum everything up?”

‘He doesn’t sound like someone who believes they should be locked in the psych ward…’ You think with a hesitant smile before speaking, “I believe so… Listen, Shota.. I know how all of this may sound to a human… You are probably still wrapping your head around my very existence and being able to see me… But I.. I feel just as confused and disbelieving as you do…” Your smile falls as you speak, your expression and tone something of uncertainty as you turn to gaze back out the window.

Shota sighs as he steps away from the wall and comes to stand right up against your ethereally glowing body, your shoulder phasing slightly through his as he follows your gaze out the window, “It is a lot to try to understand, but living in a world where humans are born with superpowers.. it wouldn’t be too far of a stretch to believe in other forces at work out there in the universe.”

You turn your head to look at him in shock before a small huff of a laugh slips past your lips, “I have gotten to know your soul pretty well over the last five hundred years, Shota.. gotten to know that no matter the lifetime, who you are does not change like your name or appearance does… So, I am surprised that you are being so open-minded about this… You never were one for ideals like religion or higher powers or unseen beings… So, where has the real Shota gone?…”

Shota lets out a small, quiet chuckle at your slightly teasing tone, and turns his head slightly to meet your eyes, “I’m actually pretty open-minded when it comes to a lot of subjects. I just find that my time is better well spent focusing on what’s tangible in this world rather than what hasn’t even been proven to exist, that’s all.” He retorts in a tired tone that doesn’t match the teasing glint in his eye.

You playfully roll your eyes with a soft giggle before giving a small shake of your head, “Ah, I see… Well, all teasing aside, our situation may be odd but at least now I can warn you of danger easier… Though, I will try not to be a nuisance…”

Shota lets out a quiet huff as he turns to start walking back to the bed, “Don’t worry about being a nuisance. Between being Class 1-A’s teacher and being a Pro, seeing and hearing you will be significantly more helpful in tough situations.” He says as he carefully gets onto the bed, a quiet groan leaving him as he lays back.

You let out a quiet and affirmative hum as you follow behind him, then take a seat at the end of the bed by his feet when he makes space for you. You watch as he gets as comfortable as anyone could get with injuries like his when his eyes meet yours. You silently question the embarrassed scowl he’s shooting you until the realization hits you. You mumble an apology before quickly shifting your gaze to the window. Among the many little habits you’ll have to break now that he can see and hear you, just watching him for the sake of observing him is going to be the first.. and the hardest.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Hizashi bursts into Shota’s room sputtering apologies for being twenty minutes late picking him up. Shota just brushes him off with a grumble of feigned annoyance while you and Akari giggle quietly to yourselves. A nurse comes in shortly after Hizashi’s arrival, pushing a wheelchair up to the side of Shota’s bed. Shota immediately begins protesting having to be wheeled out to Hizashi’s car, insisting that he can walk just fine.

“I know I said I would not be a nuisance, but listen to the nurse, please Shota…” You say a bit firmly as the timid nurse tries explaining to Shota the hospital’s policies.

With an irritated huff, Shota reluctantly moves from the bed to the wheelchair, grumbling slightly under his breath. You smother a giggle as you take in Hizashi’s shocked expression, the blonde clearing having expected more of a fight from Shota. However, the giggle slips free some when you catch the brief glare thrown your way from Shota as the nurse pushes him out of the room.

Hizashi stopped by UA so that Shota could talk to Nezu and go by Recovery Girl’s office. Despite the insistence from Nezu, Hizashi, and yourself to take off a few more days, Shota firmly stated that he would be returning to work the next day when classes resumed. During the walk to the infirmary, you couldn’t help the displeased feeling that had settled over you from Shota’s stubbornness. As a Protector, it’s normal to disagree with decisions that could impact the well-being of the human one is paired with, but this felt like.. more than that. Sighing to yourself, you choose to not overthink your feelings so as to not add more confusion to your already puzzling situation.

You and Akari stood by the window of the patient room while Recovery Girl examined Shota’s injuries. Luckily, she determined it safe enough to use her Quirk on Shota, even if it didn’t heal Shota as much as he may have wanted it to. By the time it was said and done, he was still bandaged up like a mummy, but at least his casts were able to be redone so that he could use his fingers. As you and Akari silently followed your humans to Hizashi’s car, you still hadn’t been able to shake your displeasure.

Finally getting back to Shota’s apartment, you stood behind him as he deflected every one of Hizashi’s attempts to stay and help. A bit dejectedly, Hizashi bid Shota goodbye, while you just silently nodded at Akari, still mostly lost in your thoughts. Once Shota shut the door with a tired sigh, you wordlessly made your way to the dining room window. It’s one of your favorite spots in the apartment with its view overlooking the city.

“Are you going to be silent and brooding for the rest of the day?” Shota asks, his tone is tired and slightly irritated as you hear his socked feet shuffle toward the kitchen. You feel a mixture of emotions as you tamper down a spike of irritation, your confusion over your situation only increasing.

“You should eat, then get some more rest since you insist on returning to work tomorrow…” You say in an even tone as you continue gazing out the window. You realize that your wording most likely comes across as petty, and maybe you want it to since he ignored you back in Nezu’s office. You hear Shota open the refrigerator and let out an irritated sigh, rummaging around for a moment before letting the door close a bit harder than necessary. You turn around to face him at the sound of condiments and jars inside the refrigerator knocking around.

“My students need to see that I’m okay. What they went through was terrifying, even for Pros like myself. None of them deserved to experience a villain attack like that before their careers have even started to begin. It’s my responsibility to be their face of strength-” Shota angrily defends his decision, most likely easily riled up from pain and exhaustion, but it only serves to irritate you more and cut him off.

“I understand that, but it is my responsibility to make sure no harm comes to you, even if the threat to your well-being comes from you… You need more time to recover, Shota… You are not ready to return to work in your condi-” You say firmly trying to maintain an aura of calm until he cuts you off.

“But in the end, it’s my decision! Your job is to silently protect me when it is necessary. I’ve made it through the last thirty years of decision-making based on my own judgment just fine, Y/N. Me being able to see and hear you now doesn’t change that.” Shota snaps, and you can’t help but feel taken aback and.. hurt. There are a couple moments of tense silence broken only by the sound of Shota taking a few deep breaths.

Your mind is once again reeling from how deeply you feel your emotions, but outwardly you straighten up and slip into emotionless professionalism, “You are correct… I apologize for overstepping, it will not happen again…” You state before turning back toward the window, ignoring the pain in your chest. You can feel Shota’s eyes on you, but neither of you says anything more, not even when the ethereal glow of your body flickers and dims a bit.

Divider Credit ~ @cafekitsune

Of Monsters and Men | Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven |

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!OC, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, potentially triggering content, universe-typical violence, Enji Todoroki (yes, that is a warning, he's trash), character death, suicidal ideation, (more tags to be added as story develops <3)

Note ~ Hi, my Lovelies! Hope you all are well! I hope you're enjoying the story! I have a feeling this fic is going to be a pretty long one, so I hope that those who have taken an interest in it stay along for the ride! Anyway, I love and appreciate you all, and I'm glad to be back! <3

Once she was dismissed, Azusa had burst out of her father’s office feeling way too much at once. She was too wrapped up in forcing herself to calm down and go numb until she could be back in the privacy of her room to notice the tall blonde rushing to hide around the corner. Unbeknownst to her, Bakugo had lingered just outside the door to the Marshal’s office desperate to know if she would actually get reprimanded or not. He had expected to hear her get a pass, to be let off easy for letting herself mess up their Drift sequence. What he hadn’t expected to hear was the Marshal ruthlessly berating her as she tried to choke back sobs.

After a few deep, shaking breaths and forcing her face to be blank and emotionless, Azusa walked back to her bunk. She had walked along numbly, not bothering to acknowledge other Rangers or techs she was familiar with lest her fragile mask crack. She had just barely made it through the doorway of her room when she crumbled, closing and locking the door behind her as she fell to the floor.

Back up against the door and choking on sobs is where she still sits, not having the will or strength to drag herself to her bed. Her father’s words reverberate through her mind, shredding her down to her core. Her hands come up to her mouth to muffle the broken, painful, whining sobs that tear from her chest. Like so many times before, years upon years of emotional turmoil flooded to the surface like hot magma. Far too many times throughout her life has she seen that side of Enji and it tears her down to nothing. Every. Single. Time.

Her puffy, red, and watery eyes solemnly glance over at the picture of Toya on her dresser, and whispered apologies begin falling from her lips. Pathetically, she drags herself over to the dresser, blindly crawling along the floor as tears continue to flow from her eyes. With far more effort than it should have taken, she heaves herself up to stand weakly in front of the dresser.

‘Failure! Disappointment! Embarrassment! Pathetic! Nothing!’ Her mind berates her as she reaches a shaking hand out to the photo of her late brother. Choking on a sobbed-out “sorry” she fixes the frame so that it lays face down on her dresser. Azusa then turns to her bed, letting herself crash into its surface without bothering to change before crying herself to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“Attention Bravo Inferno, report to Bay 10 immediately following breakfast for your trial Drift sequence. Attention Bravo Inferno, report to Bay 10 immediately following breakfast for your trial Drift sequence. Attention Bravo Inferno-”

Azusa reaches a hand out to shut off the repetitive alarm and lets out a heavy sigh as she sits up. Her body is a bit stiff as she gets out of bed to get ready for the day. Emotions from the day before try worming their way into her psyche, the emotion leading the brigade being guilt. Guilt over everything that had transpired but mostly over ignoring Aizawa when he had stopped by her bunk. She had laid in bed unmoving even when he had knocked multiple times and asked if she was okay from the other side of the door. Eventually, he had left and she was able to go back to berating herself in peace.

Looking at her ragged reflection as she does her hair, Azusa forces herself to go numb. It’s a horrible coping mechanism and she knows that, but it’s all she knows to do when everything feels like too much. Meeting the expressionless face that stares back at her from the mirror, she ignores the bags under her eyes and her bloodshot scleras. Instead, she smooths down any stray flyaways in her hair and leaves the bathroom. When she opens her bunk door to leave, Fuyumi is right there with her hand up ready to knock. She gives Azusa a once-over, then looks back up at her sister with concerned eyes.

“Zusa.. what did Dad say to you, yesterday? You look.. You’ve got that look in your eyes..” Fuyumi voices her worries as she falls into step next to Azusa, the two making their way to the elevator.

“I got a lecture like any other Ranger would have and then I moved on with my day,” Azusa answers in a monotone voice, not meeting her sister’s eyes. “And there is no ‘look’, Yumi, I look how I always do.”

“Oh yeah, sure. Your eyes are always that puffy and red, my bad. And you totally always act this distant and disconnected, sorry for being concerned.” Fuyumi sasses after scoffing. “Look, I know yesterday was rough. You can talk to me, Zusa. You don’t have to close yourself off, you don’t have to shut down like this-”

“I am fine, Fuyumi. Just drop it, alright?” Azusa accidentally says with more bite than she intended and the guilt starts to rear its ugly face, yet again, before she shoves it back down. Fuyumi sends Azusa a slightly startled glance, then shakes her head defeatedly as the elevator door opens up.

The two walk into the Mess Hall and immediately Azusa feels like every pair of eyes are on her. Her body tenses, a slight tremble starting in her hands as she heads toward the food line. She mentally fights to keep up the emotionless mask she’s donned while her thoughts try to convince her that every whisper from those around her is about her.

She rushes to fill her tray with food, then she crosses the room to an open table as calmly and collectively as she can. She passes by the table where Bakugo is sitting and accidentally makes eye contact with the blonde. Except, where she expects to find sharp, blood-red eyes glaring at her, she finds that Bakugo is looking at her with a calculating gaze. He’s looking at her like he’s trying to figure something out until he relents with a scoff and turns his eyes back down to his food.

Finally sitting down, Azusa shakes off the confusion from Bakugo’s weird behavior and begins picking at her food. She knows that if she starts thinking, and starts trying to analyze whatever the hell that was about, the other thoughts will begin battering her brain. She needs to be numb. She needs to not think about anything. That’s the only way that this next Drift trial will go smoothly.

After just mostly pushing the food around her tray for what feels like hours, she sees Bakugo get up to clear his place out of the corner of her eye. She waits a respectable minute or so after he has left the Mess Hall to do the same. Standing up, inhaling a long breath as she does, when she feels a tug on her sleeve and she looks down at Fuyumi.

“You hardly ate half your food, Azusa. You should really stay and finish it.” Fuyumi says, concern and what Azusa makes out to be pity lining her features.

Tugging her arm away from her sister’s light grasp, Azusa glares slightly, “I’ll be late for my Drift trial if I stay any longer and you know how the Marshal hates lateness. I’ll see you later, Fuyumi.”

Azusa can hear Fuyumi’s frustrated and tired sigh as she walks away from the table, but chooses not to let her thoughts linger on it. She drops her tray off at the designated area, then forces confidence into her stride as she leaves the Mess Hall. Getting to the elevator she doesn’t see Bakugo anywhere and she internally sighs a breath of relief. Pressing the button to call the elevator, she forces herself to think numb thoughts.

The elevator ride to Bay 10 was simultaneously too short and too long. Dread, fear, and rage had tried clawing their way through the barriers that Azusa had put up with each floor that had passed. All the while, Azusa had been desperately trying to get a fucking grip on her anxiety, which she currently feels like is still not under wraps completely as she steps out of the elevator. But seeing her fath- the Marshal standing at the threshold of the Shatterdome actually helps her with stuffing every single emotion she has back into that little box at the back of her mind.

“Sir.” She says emotionlessly, her features hardened and cold as steel as she stands at attention in front of the man, not bothering to acknowledge Bakugo standing off to his side.

“At ease, Ranger.” Marshal Todoroki says, stoic as ever but guilt swims in his eyes and Azusa has to fight with her inner rage for a moment. The tension is suffocating for a moment until Bakugo clears his throat uncharacteristically awkwardly, reminding the Marshal of his presence.

“Alright, Rangers, myself and Marshal Aizawa have decided to have you both run through a couple more trial Drifts to further test your compatibility. If the next couple of trials prove to be failures, then we will place you both with other co-pilots. If either of you are knocked out of alignment, try your best to bring each other back. You are a team and that means you should be getting through every obstacle as a team. Prove to me and Marshal Aizawa that yesterday was just a fluke, am I understood?” Marshal Todoroki finishes his spiel, his tone as militant and commanding as ever.

“Yes, Sir.” Azusa and Bakugo say at the same time and Marshal Todoroki gives them a singular nod.

“Good. Now, go suit up and get to your Jaeger.” Marshal Todoroki says dismissively before he turns to head for the Loccent Command Center for this Bay.

Silence befalls the two Rangers as they head for the sub-level where techs are waiting to help them suit up. They step into an elevator that’s slightly smaller than the one used for travel through the main floors of the base. Bakugo hits the button for the sub-level they need and the elevator begins moving with a metallic groan.

“You’re acting fucking weird today,” Bakugo states, his agitated voice breaking the silence.

“And why would you care?” Azusa spits, really not in the mood to deal with the blonde’s bullshit.

“I don’t!” Bakugo barks out, overly defensive and irritated. “Just make sure you don’t fuck this up, again! I’ve worked too damn hard for this and I don’t need the Marshal’s defective ass dau-”

“Don’t finish that fucking sentence, asshole.” Azusa seethes through clenched teeth, flames of rage burning behind her eyes as she glares at Bakugo.“I have worked just as hard as you and I am just as much stuck with you as you are with me. I am not the one who got stuck in my memories yesterday, am I? This is a job, Bakugo, one that we both signed up for. We don’t have to like each other, we just have to work well enough together that the job gets fucking done.”

Bakugo’s jaw and fists clench at Azusa’s words, but he doesn’t say anything further, each of their low blows making the other seethe. The two suit up in silence, ignoring the techs around them sending worried glances to each other at the thick tension. As they both enter the Conn-Pod of Bravo Inferno there is, once again, no conversation about side-preferences. Bakugo just automatically goes over to the right, forcing Azusa to take the left side.

Mechanical fasteners click into place and various instruments whir to life as the pilots settle into their harnesses. Taking a moment to close her eyes and take a couple of deep breaths, Azusa lets go of her anger and forces her mind to go numbly blank, once more.

“Good morning, Bravo Inferno pilots! Izuku Midoriya, here to be your trusted Loccent contact, today!” Izuku’s cheery voice comes through the Comms and Azusa feels the smallest tug of a smile at the corners of her lips.

Before Azusa has a chance to greet her childhood friend back, Marshal Aizawa’s voice fills the Comms, “Listen up, Rangers. Once your neural handshake has been finalized and deemed stable, you will be directed to move about the Bay. We have cleared it of all personnel so that you may roam freely. Marshal Todoroki, Izuku, and I will be monitoring your stats the entire time. If either of you goes out of alignment, we are more than prepared to handle the situation, so just focus on getting each other back to the present. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” Bakugo and Azusa answer in tandem, once again.

“Good. Prepare for neural handshake.” Marshal Aizawa says before Izuku’s voice comes back through the Comms with the countdown.

Azusa closes her eyes and tips her head back focusing on the mantra playing through her mind, ‘Just be blank. Carry nothing into the Drift. No emotions. No thoughts. Just be blank. Carry nothing into the Drift. No emotion. No thoughts. Just be blan-’

The sharp gasp that leaves Azusa’s mouth cuts off her train of thought and just like yesterday her consciousness is pulled through memory after memory, both her own and Bakugo’s. Memories different than the ones she saw yesterday flash through her mind, but she just lets her consciousness flow through them. Soon enough, she jerks back into the present with the feeling of Bakugo’s psyche rubbing against and melding with her own.

“Right hemisphere calibrating,” Bakugo and Azusa say together as they raise their right hand, repeating the action for their left side.

“Looking good, you two! Neural handshake is strong and stable! I’ve gotten the green light from the Marshals to tell you to go ahead and try moving whenever you’re ready!” Izuku happily informs the two over the Comms.

Azusa can feel Bakugo’s annoyance spike at Izuku’s cheerful tone and she can’t help the rolling of her eyes. Underneath the annoyance, though, is the excitement that the blonde feels along with a sense of power. ‘Jesus, this is just going to make his god complex worse.’ Azusa thinks with an internal groan and she hears a growl come from the blonde three feet away from her.

‘You know that I can hear your thoughts, right idiot?’ The anger-fueled thought flashes across Azusa’s mind leaving her slightly surprised yet smug, a self-satisfied smirk pulling at her lips.

“Get moving, Rangers. We don’t have all day to just sit here. Focus on the task at hand and take it seriously or get the hell out of that Jaeger.” Marshal Todoroki says borderline harshly through the Comms and it takes everything for Azusa not to flinch at his reprimand.

Bakugo must feel something flash through their bond because he looks over to Azusa, the look on his face contradicting what he tells her within their shared mind-space, ‘Don’t listen to him, just focus on keeping yourself stable and present.’

Only half meeting Bakugo’s gaze, Azusa just nods, forcing herself to be blank and numb again. As the two make their Jaeger take a step forward, Azusa offhandedly thinks about how keeping herself completely void of feelings is much more difficult to do with someone else in her brain. It’s an absentminded thought, fast and fleeting in nature. Yet it’s not fast enough for Bakugo to miss, but he chooses to ignore it. For now, at least.

Bakugo and Azusa move Bravo Inferno around the Bay for a while, both of them getting used to a new center of gravity and being in someone’s mind. They’re in the middle of practicing evasive maneuvers when their Comms crackle to life.

“Attention, Rangers. I just wanted to inform you both that Marshal Todoroki had to step out to observe a deployment. There was a Kaiju signature picked up on our radars along the Shizuoka coastline. I am staying here to continue observations.” Marshal Aizawa informs the two pilots, but before either of them can respond Bakugo goes shock-still.

Azusa can feel cold fear flash through her and her body jerks painfully as her reality is shaken. There’s a brief, muted, and echoing sound of sirens, the noise appearing to come from whatever flashback had thrown Bakugo back into the past. But the disruption within Bakugo’s psyche reverberates through Azusa’s and triggers something within her mind.

Suddenly, Azusa is on her knees with the armor of her suit protecting them from the grainy sand beneath her. Then she blinks and she is the 17-year-old version of herself wearing an all too familiar t-shirt and pair of shorts. The grains of sand now dig into the skin of her knees and the blare of the Kaiju Warning Sirens echoes around her.

She watches with paralyzing fear as a Kaiju gets increasingly closer to the shoreline she’s kneeling at. Even if the fear wasn’t freezing her muscles in place, she doesn’t think she would have the will to move. The Kaiju finally reaches the shallows and something akin to relief bleeds into Azusa’s body.

It’s been a month since Toya’s death and it has been nothing short of unbearable. Between the grief and her father’s heightened cruelty, Azusa has been going through hell. She doesn’t feel like she can do it anymore. She can’t handle the pressure of being the oldest Todoroki sibling. She can’t handle being the pillar of support for her brothers, sister, and mother. She can’t handle being just another outlet for her father’s misplaced anger.

It’s been a month and she can’t help but wonder how Toya did this for years without crumbling under the pressure.

The earth beneath her rumbles and shakes with every step the alien monster in front of her takes. It roars as it draws closer and Azusa’s body begins trembling subconsciously, her basic survival instincts screaming at her to run. But she ignores the rational part of her brain and focuses on finally being able to escape life, on the possibility of seeing her brother again. She’s so focused on the Kaiju that’s now right in front of her that she doesn’t register the sound of metallic muscles working to rush the monster staring down at her.

Metal meets alien flesh and the sound resonates through the air, pulling Azusa out of the daze she was stuck in. Beast fights beast and from the blur of limbs crashing into bodies, the tail of the Kaiju swings through the air. Its intention is to hit the Jaeger in the side, but as it travels along its set path it slams into Azusa’s body.

The wind is immediately knocked from her lungs as pain explodes throughout her entire being, her body sent flying through the air. She bounces a couple of times when she lands before she slides along the asphalt of the beachside parking lot. Barely conscious, she cries at the feeling of the cold yet fiery pain engulfing the right side of her body. The metallic smell of blood hits her nostrils and she gags on it in all of her agony.

She dazedly watches the Jaeger land the final blows to the Kaiju that was supposed to kill her. Listens to its dying roars with a mixture of instinctual relief and conscious jealousy. The beast finally lies down dead and the Jaeger’s head turns in her direction. It begins to approach her and she takes the time to really look at it. The familiar black and lime green paint, the emblem of a jaguar with bright yellow eyes stamped on the chest; it’s Aizawa’s and Yamada’s Jaeger.

The massive robot finally reaches her, its towering figure bending over to gently pick her up with one hand. The metal giant brings its hand up to the glass window where its eyes would be. The glass panel slides open and Azusa meets the dark eyes of the man she looks up to the most in her life.

“I’ll keep us steady, you go grab her, Shota!” Yamada calls out as he hits various switches and buttons.

Aizawa is quick to disengage from his harness, rushing over to scoop Azusa up into his arms, uncaring of her blood getting all over his suit. He brings her over to a corner of the Conn-Pod and carefully straps her to a spine board, worry filling his usually tired features.

“What were you even doing out here, kid?” He quietly asks, not really looking for an answer but getting one anyway.

“I just wanted to see Toya again..” Azusa brokenly whispers out just before the severity of her injuries catches up to her and she passes out.

Gasping like she couldn’t breathe the whole time, Azusa crashes back to reality. In a daze still, she disengages from her harness, swaying as her body threatens to give out on her. Her legs shake, then her knees buckle but before her body can hit the floor two strong arms catch her. Hands come up to rip off her helmet and she gulps in all the oxygen she can.

“Guess we’re even now, huh Princess?” Bakugo rasps out quietly from beside her and it’s then that Azusa registers the shouting through the Comms and the various alarms blaring.

“S-sorry,” Azusa whispers, leaning all of her weight against Bakugo.

“Don’t be.” The blonde states quietly instead of spitting out something snarky.

The doors to the Conn-Pod suddenly open causing Bakugo to jerk away from Azusa a bit. Without thinking, one of Azusa’s hands shoots out to grasp Bakugo’s arm, the fear of being left alone overriding her distaste for the blonde.

Footsteps approach the pair and Azusa instantly knows who it is, “Rangers, are you okay? Todoroki, can you stand?” Marshal Aizawa’s voice fills the newfound silence of the Conn-Pod.

“I’m fine,” Azusa says as Bakugo helps her stand. As soon as she’s up she steps away from him despite being shaky on her feet.

Bakugo sends her a confused look before fixing his features back to his usual look of annoyed disinterest, “Yeah, I’m good.”

Aizawa sends a weary glance to Azusa before sighing, “Okay, good. Both of you head back to your bunks, we’re done for the day. I’ll let Marshal Todoroki know what happened.” He states, sending Azusa a brief apologetic glance before turning to walk out of the Conn-Pod.

Bakugo turns slightly to look at Azusa, the scars on the right side of her face more noticeable than they were before. The rest of the memory plays through his head; Azusa waking up in the Hospital Bay, her mother and siblings being sent out of the room, and her father screaming at her for the next hour. Phantom feelings of emotional pain linger in his chest and it makes him grind his teeth.

“You sure you’re fine?” Bakugo asks with feigned disinterest despite his unwelcomed and genuine concern.

“Don’t worry about it, Bakugo. Forget that you saw anything.” Azusa says tiredly as she moves past him to leave the Conn-Pod, refusing to meet his eye at any point.

Note ~ So, while I am still working on this fic, I want to write some more xReader one or two-parters so hit up that ask button, Lovelies! Drop a comment telling me how you're liking the story so far or if I missed any typos or if I need to add any more tags! Much love and appreciation, Lovelies! <3

Taglist ~ @tomiokasecretlover

This is why writers abandon stories. It’s not that we don’t love them, it’s because we don’t want to love them alone.

Hi! I just stumbled upon and read all parts of your ‘of monsters and men’ fic and omg i just love it??! I think that is my favourite bakugo dynamic ever and i love how you make your oc a todoroki😔👍🏻 trauma bonding😮‍💨👌🏻 hope we’ll get to see more soon!! Love you!! Thank you for writing❤️❤️❤️❤️

🥹😭🫶🏼

I'm in tears, thank you so much, Lovely! Of Monsters and Men is my passion project and I knew going into it that it probably wouldn't be as popular because it is xOC, but I am so appreciative of those like yourself who are showing it some love!

As per usual with my writing, I needed to give my characters that ✨angst✨ so that's a big reason why I decided to make Azusa a Todoroki. For my poor Bakugo, though.. I feel kinda bad for killing off his parents, but like you said 💅🏼trauma bonding💅🏼 lol!

Anyway, Lovely, before I start full on gushing about the fic, thank you so so so much for reading and leaving me this very kind message, I really needed it 😭🫶🏼 I do hope you stick around for more because this story is far from being finished!

I love and appreciate you, Amazing Lovely!! <3 <3 <3

Of Monsters and Men | Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven |

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!OC, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, enemies to lovers, potentially triggering content, universe-typical violence, Enji Todoroki (yes, that is a warning, he's trash), character death, (more tags to be added as story develops <3)

Note ~ Loveliiiieeessss!! Let me know what you think of the story so far!! If I'm being totally open with yall this story is my passion project and I'm a bit hyper-focused on it.. but if yall have any xReader ideas/requests don't be afraid to hit that ask button! Obviously, I love writing for Katsuki, but I'm also comfortable writing for Izuku, Shota, possibly Hawks.. If you have a request just send it in and I'll let ya know if I feel I can accomplish writing something up to your expectations! Enough of my rambles, enjoy the read! <3

Enji had managed to keep up his neutral facade despite the bubble of pride that had welled up inside of him at the sight of his daughter piloting his old Jaeger. He even congratulated himself for being correct in his assumption that Azusa and Bakugo would Drift well together. Watching the two exercise perfect control over Bravo Inferno and perform little tricks was admittedly quite entertaining. That was until his bubble of pride was harshly burst by the sound of the system’s AI telling Loccent that the pilots had gone out of alignment.

He watched with masked panic as Iida and Aizawa tried to get the two pilots stabilized again. Fear and embarrassment flooded him when he watched the arms of Bravo Inferno rise, the Jaeger’s palms beginning to glow molten red. Rangers and techs hurried out of the Loccent Command Center as seasoned Rangers cleared the observation platforms just outside.

“Pull the main power line!” Enji had shouted to Aizawa before he could even think about what else to do.

Aizawa was on the task in an instant, pulling at the large cable with all of his might. Finally, with one last grunt of effort, he pulled the plug from the control panel. Enji looked out to the Jaeger, watching with hidden relief as it began powering down. That’s when the anger began settling into his bones.

~~~~~~~~~~

“This is exactly why I wanted to pilot by myself! If she hadn’t gone out of alignment first, then none of that other shit would have happened! You’ve seen my damn sim scores, you know that I would never fuck up like that if it was just me in that Jae-”

“That’s enough, Ranger!” Enji’s sharp tone effectively cuts Bakugo off from his ranting. “You know damn well that you cannot pilot a Jaeger by yourself, no matter how good your simulation scores are-”

Bakugo exasperatedly cuts Enji off, acting like a petulant child, “You’ve done it before! You brought Mighty Endeavor back on your own-”

“Because my co-pilot died! Yes, I finished off that Kaiju and dragged my Jaeger back to the Shatterdome by myself, but I had to because my co-pilot was dead in his harness right next to me.” Enji bites out, anger twisting his features as he steps closer to Bakugo whose mouth is clamped shut with eyes averted to the floor.

“And do you know what happened after I got back from piloting that Jaeger by myself?” Enji asks half rhetorically, but he pauses and waits for an answer anyway, and Bakugo shakes his head.

“I became so sick from the radiation that I was bedridden. My body burned like I was on fire and I could barely keep conscious. For three fucking days, I was like that.” Enji grits out before he releases a tired sigh and partially turns away from Bakugo. “We still do not have the technology to run single-pilot Jaegers, and I refuse to purposefully put any Ranger through what I went through. Marshal Aizawa and I will talk about what happened today and decide what to do about your co-pilot pairing. You are dismissed, Ranger.”

Bakugo bows slightly and, surprisingly enough, leaves without another word. Enji takes a moment to recollect himself, trying to calm the anger racing through his veins, but then there’s a knock at his office door. Crossing his arms to hide his clenched fists, Enji tells the Ranger at his door to come in. The metal door squeaks as it opens and closes, Azusa walking into the office. She doesn’t sit but rather comes to stand a couple of feet in front of Enji. Her face is neutral, but her eyes hold a bit of anxiety among the rage and her anger only aids in fueling Enji’s own.

“Marshal Todoroki, I-” Azusa begins, but Enji doesn’t let her get very far with her sentence.

“What the fuck happened out there, Azusa?!” Enji starts, immediately letting his anger boil over as he lays into her. “You know, one look at your simulation scores would lead anyone to believe that you would be a strong candidate for becoming a pilot! But what I saw happen out there was pathetic and embarrassing! Who would have thought that the Marshal’s daughter would pull a fucking stunt like that causing another Ranger to fail! You let your co-pilot down today, Azusa! You let me down! You were an embarrassment to every single one of the Rangers observing!”

By this point, Enji is too caught up in his anger to even realize that Azusa has started silently crying in front of him. He can’t stop himself from yelling, can’t stop himself from spitting venomous comment after venomous comment. Deep down, very deep down, he knows that she didn’t do anything substantially wrong, but his pride and his ego won’t let him quiet down.

“What you displayed out there today was that you are no better than the Rangers that just got dropped here from boot camp! No child of mine would have made such an embarrassment out of the Todoroki name like that! You almost caused hundreds of deaths and millions of dollars in damages! Do you realize that?!” Enji spits, his shouting echoing off of the walls of his office as Azusa cowers in front of him.

What Enji says next slips too fast from his mouth to stop in time and he regrets them as soon as the words are spoken, “Toya would be incredibly disappointed in you! You don’t even deserve to pilot Bravo Inferno!”

A sharp gasp knocks some reality back into Enji along with the weight of the words he just shouted into his daughter’s face, and he looks down at her. Horrified shock fills her features as much as it does his, but sharing his shock is immense guilt. Enji is at a loss for words as he tries to think of how to take back or amend what just flew from his mouth. Floundering, he just stares at Azusa’s tear-soaked face, her hurt practically palpable in the air around them.

“Azusa, I-I didn’t mea-”

“Don’t.” She states quietly, making Enji’s words die in his throat. “I-I understood you loud and clear, M-Marshal. Permission to be dismissed, Sir?” Her voice is strained as she speaks and she’s just barely able to stand up straight and look Enji in the eye. All Enji can do is nod since the lump in his throat won’t let him speak.

He watches helplessly as she flees from the room, the door slamming shut behind her. Stunned by his own behavior, Enji slowly moves around his desk to sit down. Leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk, he buries his face in his hands. He doesn’t know how he’s even going to attempt to fix this kind of fuck up. He isn’t sure that Rei will be able to soothe over the hurt that he’s caused. She may not even be willing to offer him advice on the situation, not that he would blame her.

Enji spends more than a few minutes recollecting himself before calling Aizawa to his office. He’s exhausted now, all of his anger replaced by insurmountable guilt. He let his ego, his pride over his esteemed reputation, win just like so many other times in the past. Enji is the one who let Toya down today, not Azusa, and he fears that he really won’t be able to get his daughter back now.

Knocking pulls Enji out of his spiraling thoughts and he clears his throat before telling Aizawa to enter.

Aizawa enters the room quietly, closing the door behind him before he makes his way over to the chair in front of Enji’s desk. Aizawa just stares at the man for a few moments before letting out his famous tired sigh.

“What happened today was nobody’s fault, Enji. We both know that the chances of something like that happening during a team’s first Drift is highly possible. I’m just surprised that it didn’t happen with more of the other teams.” Aizawa says as he leans back in the chair, tipping his head back and closing his eyes.

At Enji’s silence, Aizawa decides to move the conversation forward himself, “So did either of them request a different co-pilot? I’m sure we can switch the teams around, make it work.”

“No,” Enji utters exhaustively, deciding to end his silent brooding. “Bakugo just requested, yet again, to pilot by himself but I sorted that out already. We’ll keep Azu- Ranger Todoroki and Ranger Bakugo as co-pilots for Bravo Inferno, but we won’t send them out on any deployments until they go through a few more trial Drifts.” He states as he clasps his hands and rests his chin on them.

Aizawa straightens up in his seat, raising a questioning eyebrow at him, “I know that I kind of just advocated for them, but are you sure you don’t want to try putting them with other Rangers? I witnessed, just as you did, that they have the potential to work well together, but if they go out of alignment again and neither of them can bring the other back.. They won’t make it out in the field like that, Enji.”

“That’s why we’ll have them run through a few more trial Drifts. If this was a one-off type of situation, then they’ll be just fine. And if it happens again, we’ll either see if they can bring each other out of it or we’ll pair them off with other pilots.” Enji firmly states with a bit of frustration.

Aizawa relents with a sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face, “Fine. I’ll have their Jaeger sent to one of the Bays with less foot traffic so that when they try again tomorrow there’s less of a chance for catastrophe if something goes wrong again.” He says as he types out the message on his tablet, then sends it to the crew in the Shatterdome.

Aizawa then looks up at Enji, the man being able to read him like a book after working with him for so long, “So how hard were you on her?” His tone is knowing but free of any real judgment.

“Too hard.” Enji admits reluctantly before continuing, “I said things that I shouldn’t have.. I wouldn’t blame her if she honest to god hates me now.” He finishes quietly.

“Well, I don’t know shit about parenting, so it’s up to you to figure out how to fix it, but do you want me to go talk to her?” Aizawa offers with tired nonchalance.

The perpetually exhausted man has worked with Enji for so long that Azusa along with her siblings sees Aizawa as family, or a mentor at the very least. Azusa has always gone to Aizawa if she needed to talk through some stuff, especially after Toya’s passing. So, Enji ponders the offer for a minute, thinking that it may help Azusa to have someone to talk to after what all just went down.

“It’s up to you, Shota,” Enji says with a long sigh. “She may not want to talk to anyone right now.” He says with defeat, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his hands over his face.

“Well, I’ll try stopping by her bunk, knock a few times, and if she doesn’t answer then I’ll leave her be,” Aizawa says as he stands up, wincing a bit when his knees crack loudly. “Try not to spend all day cooped up in here, Enji. Go get something to eat, scare the new Rangers, just anything to get you out of this office.”

Aizawa’s attempt at humor doesn’t do much to pull Enji out of his self-loathing, but he appreciates it all the same, “See you later, Shota.”

Shota leaves with a half-assed wave and Enji is left alone with his thoughts, once again. He thinks about stopping by the family bunker to see Rei, hoping that Azusa hasn’t talked to her yet so that he can have a few moments of peace with his wife before he tells her himself about just how badly he messed up this time.

Note ~ Lemme know if there are any tags I should add! I love and appreciate you, Lovelies! <3

Taglist ~ @tomiokasecretlover

The Greatest | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

The Ask/Inspo for this fic can be found in this post.

TRIGGER WARNING - !!SUICIDE!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND AND PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEBODY IF YOU NEED HELP! YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU DO MATTER!

Additional Tags ~ Fem!Reader, cheating, bad mental health, HEAVY ANGST, hurt no comfort, mentions of blood, Idk let me know if I should add other tags..

Being in love with and loving Katsuki hasn’t always been easy. He can be loud, brash, and uncaring of hurting one’s feelings. Sure, he’s matured over the few years it’s been since graduating from UA, but he’s still rough around the edges. Even so, his personality didn’t scare you away back then at UA, and it surely doesn’t now.

When you first met Katsuki, you were a Support Course student. You were in the top three for your class, and just as ambitious as Mei Hatsume. Though you were far more tame than the pink-haired girl, the two of you became very close friends. You were, and still are, the hidden crazy to Mei’s in-your-face crazy. Your friendship with her along with her oblivious, borderline ditzy way of going about things were the driving reasons behind you almost asking her to swap who you’d been assigned with from Hero Course 1-A.

As it had turned out, swapping wasn’t allowed, so you had been stuck with making and fixing support gear for UA’s most explosive student. There was a lot of clashing of personalities at the start of your partnership, but after proving yourself to him, he managed to tone his attitude down some. Not long after he had managed to get over himself, there were a lot of after-school costume discussions. As well as many times Katsuki just silently and intently watched you work on his gauntlets, observing and learning what he could fix himself. Naturally, after all that time spent together, you couldn’t help but fall for him at least a little bit.

Unfortunately, you never had the guts to say anything to him, plus you realized just how focused he was on being a hero. Then graduation came and you both went your separate ways, your previous partnership nothing more than a school assignment. That happened with nearly all of the other partnerships between the Hero Course and the Support Course. You were just sad that you hadn’t gotten to see Katsuki one last time, to wish him well or tell him you enjoyed working with him or something..

~~~~~~~~~~

As the years went by after graduation, you worked your way through different levels of Support Gear Engineering with a decently known company. You weren’t surprised when Mei was able to get her own company up and running in that time. It also wasn’t a surprise when Mei asked you to come work for her. You agreed in a heartbeat and not long after, Mei signed a contract with DynaDeku Agency. Suddenly, you were seeing Katsuki almost every other day versus the rare night out that Mei would drag you to with Deku and his friends. But seeing him more only worsened your.. pining.

Conversations were always work-related, never anything more than talks of new gear or upgrades to current gear. It’s not like you never tried to push for a more casual conversation. But every ‘How’s your day going’ was met with a silent and questioning glare. You hid your feelings of hurt and rejection with warm smiles every time.

You kept your admiration to yourself. You cheered Katsuki on from the sidelines like you were nothing more than any of his other fans he’d never met. But you longed for him to see you as more than ‘that one support chick’ as he so eloquently referred to you as more often than not. You longed for him to see you. Instead, you watched as he took his sights off of his hero career for a moment just to look toward his fellow hero, Uravity.

In the short time that they were together, you had thought that they had made an odd couple. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you just felt like they weren’t very right for each other. The feeling wasn’t entirely from a place of jealousy, you’d honestly thought you maybe wouldn’t fit any better with him, despite your feelings for him. There was just something about them being together that hadn’t made a whole lot of sense to you.

You’d figured that they must have discovered what it was because just a few months after they announced their relationship to friends, they broke up. Neither of them was all that torn up about it, which you had found odd, at least when it came to Uraraka. The pink-cheeked woman hadn’t been the mess that you’d thought she’d be considering how borderline clingy she had been with Katsuki. Instead, whenever you saw her at nights out with everyone, she was smiling and bubbly like nothing ever happened.

You didn’t waste any real time picking apart either hers or Katsuki’s behaviors, though. It wasn’t any of your business, and quite frankly, you didn’t care about how Uraraka moved on with her life. In all honesty, a secret part of you was just happy to once again have the chance to try to put yourself on Katsuki’s radar. You had mustered up all of your courage and confidence to put yourself out there a little bit more. It felt like it had taken forever, but finally, your efforts were noticed. The day Katsuki asked you out to dinner was so surreal that you couldn’t believe that it wasn’t just a dream.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a little over seven months since that first date. At the start of your relationship, things were a bit awkward but fun and quite surprising. You were secretly shocked to find out just how sweet Katsuki can be in his own way. You’d learned that he speaks through actions, and not so much through words. You’d learned that behind closed doors, he’s calm and gentle and caring.

Those first few months were full of enough sappy moments to make even Cupid sick to his stomach. There were nights of home-cooked meals made by Katsuki’s very talented hands. Rare coinciding days off from work were spent watching movies and cuddling. Passionate moments of heated kisses and love-making. It used to make your head spin just how loving Katsuki could be. But every couple moves out of the honeymoon phase and learns something more about each other.

What’s the thing you’ve learned within the last three months? Katsuki Bakugo is a fucking liar.

That warm, loving, cared-for feeling that used to spread through your chest has grown cold. You’ve gotten good at faking it though, plastering a loving smile on your face when you’re with him. Feigning that warm tone whenever you tell him that you love him. It’s not that you don’t, not that you’ve stopped loving him.. It’s just gotten hard to say those three stupid words since that first lie slid so easily off of his tongue.

You suppose that you could say that you’ve also learned that with all of his smarts, Katsuki is fucking stupid. It seems that in the years since being partners at UA, your loving boyfriend has forgotten what your Quirk is and what it does.. Because you can’t imagine that he would be doing what he’s doing with that kind of knowledge at the forefront of his brain.

Your Quirk is called Polygraph. Whenever somebody lies to you, your Quirk will automatically activate, resulting in a spike in your heart rate. It’s the kind of Quirk you know would have been useful in police work, but you’ve always had a love for inventing things. Your Uncle Naomasa still tries to get you to switch careers, despite the name you’ve made for yourself in the Support Engineering world.

One would think that with Katsuki having to work with the police, mainly Detective Naomasa Tsukauchi, that he would remember a detail such as your Quirk. Or how about the fact that most boyfriends remember their girlfriend’s fucking Quirk, flashy or not?? But with every lie that comes out of his mouth about where he’s going or who he’s hanging out with or who is fucking texting him, it’s painfully apparent that he doesn’t. He just speaks and you have to ignore the spike in your heart rate and paint on an oblivious smile.

~~~~~~~~~~

You feel almost numb when Katsuki kisses you goodbye. He tells you that he’ll have to stay late at the office to do some paperwork and your heart rate spikes at the lie. You fake a pout as you nod, and he sends you a smirk.

“Promise to make it up to you, so wipe that sexy lil pout off your face. C’mere,” he says, making your stomach churn unpleasantly, before pulling you into a hug.

“Be safe out there,” you murmur against him, and you mean it despite knowing that he isn’t being truthful about staying out late.

“Always am, Sweetheart. Enjoy your day off, ‘kay? Love you.” He murmurs back before kissing your forehead, and you bite back nausea as you tell him you love him. As you watch him leave, you ask yourself for the billionth time how isn’t he lying about loving you when he’s doing something that would make it so obvious that he doesn’t even care about you.

You wait your usual 30 minutes to an hour after he leaves, making sure that he doesn’t come back because he forgot something, before grabbing your laptop. You sit back down on the couch with the device in your lap and numbly navigate to the locked file you have hidden away. You click on it, enter the password, and then pull up the contents of the file. You stare at the hundreds of screenshots you’ve collected over the last three months of conversations and photos, nearly emotionless. After a couple of moments, when you start to feel the sting of tears welling up in your eyes, you open your web browser. You sign into the secret email you created when you first started gathering evidence of Katsuki’s infidelity. Once you’ve signed in, you make quick work of adding the most recent screenshots you’ve gotten to the file.

The heartbreaking shock of discovering that it’s Uraraka that Katsuki has been seeing behind your back has long since worn off. The whole damn situation has just become some sick kind of surreal. You’ve repeated her name so much in your mind that it doesn’t even seem like a real name anymore. You’ve read so many dirty messages between the two of them that the rage has turned to cold numbness. You’ve seen both of their nudes so many times by now that Uraraka’s bare body doesn’t bring up the repulsion you once felt. It all just makes you feel so far past hurt that all you can truly feel is numb.

You watch as the screenshots load into the file, your eyes blankly scanning over words until your gaze catches. You stare at a specific message you hadn’t noticed when you’d gone through Katsuki’s phone to collect more evidence. A single line standing out from the rest of Uraraka’s messages to your boyfriend;

“I still love you, Kats..”

That single line throws you over the edge you were teetering on. You practically throw your laptop onto the couch cushions as you rush to get up. You barely make it to the bathroom, crashing to your knees in front of the toilet as you vomit. Tears stream down your face as your body tries to expel everything inside of you. Your nose runs as your throat burns, and you dry heave a few times as sobs rip from your chest. You wipe your mouth and nose with toilet paper, then shift to sit against the bathtub. Loud, painful, and anguished sobs echo off of the bathroom walls. You don’t even know what Katsuki had said in response to her confession, but you don’t need to know. The fact that he’s still sneaking off to sleep with her is telling enough. Stomach acid burns at your throat again as the message flashes behind your tightly screwed eyelids, and you heave into the toilet once more.

When you finally feel like there’s nothing more for your stomach to expel, you wipe your face. The tears and sobs continue relentlessly as you stand, flush the toilet, then make your way to the sink. You rinse your mouth out, the minty mouthwash burning more than usual before you spit it out. As you straighten back up, wiping your mouth on the hand towel, you lock eyes with your disheveled reflection. Suddenly, you’re seeing red as all of your rage floods your mind and body. A scream tears from your throat as your fist flies into the mirror, shattering it. Your mind clears a bit as you stare down at the shattered glass. Your now bleeding hand looks like it should hurt, but you don’t feel the split knuckles or cuts from the glass. All you can feel is the emotional turmoil that’s consumed your very being.

You make your way back to the living room, leaving the mess of glass and blood in the sink. You stumble the whole way back to the couch, tripping over your feet and your knees giving out from how hard you’re sobbing. You practically fall onto the couch, grabbing your phone off of the coffee table, uncaring of the blood you’re getting on the device. With shaking hands, you unlock your phone, navigating through your contacts while half-blind from tears. You hit the call icon as soon as you reach the contact you’ve been searching for.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease-” You mutter, you pray, between sobs as the line rings.

“Too busy with my babies! Leave a message I may or may not listen to!” Mei’s voicemail message chirps brightly into your ear, and a whining sob leaves your throat as the beep rings out and cues you to leave a message.

“I-I Lo-love y-you, M-Mei.. P-pl-please, al-ways re-remember th-that..” You stutter and sob out before hanging up and burying your face in your hands.

After a few moments of soaking your hands in tears, you bring your head up. With closed eyes, you roll your shoulders back, wipe your hands on your pants, and try to take deep and even breaths. Only once you’ve regained some sense of calm and control over yourself, do you open your eyes. You let your mind sink back into that comfortable numb you’ve grown acquainted with over time. You stand up from the couch and almost robotically, you head for the storage closet. It takes a bit of digging through boxes, but you finally find them.. Letters to your closest family members and friends.

The letters are abandoned products of your deepest, darkest secret. You have been struggling for years now. To everyone around you, even your parents, you’re kind and happy and kind of shy and stable.. But the you in the mirror knows about every single self-deprecating, withering, hatred-filled thought. Something in your mind is broken, always had been, but it never needed to be anyone else’s problem. You are the only one who has ever needed to worry about the fact that you’ve had one foot hanging off of the edge. Besides, you’re the only one who can keep yourself from giving in to the call of an unseen dark abyss, its voice warm and holding promises of relief.

You carefully lay the letters out on the kitchen table. You grab your laptop from the couch and place it neatly on the table. You pause for a moment and look down at yourself. You make your way to the bedroom and change into your favorite outfit because fuck that if you were going to die in your damn pajamas.

You make your way back to the table and unconsciously go through the steps of sending the file of evidence you’ve collected to Katsuki and Uraraka. You contemplate sending the file to your shared friends for one spite-filled moment, but ultimately decide against it. You set your laptop settings to stay on and unlocked, plug the charger into it, and pull up the note that has passwords to all of your various accounts. Who knows what people might need when you’re gone?

With one last painful glance around the apartment, you head for the door. You slip on your favorite pair of shoes and leave the apartment. You make your way to the roof of the complex, which is a far easier task than you feel like it should have been. You walk to the edge and take off your shoes, placing them neatly off to the side. Climbing up onto the ledge, the wind blows lightly and it actually feels exhilarating as you fully stand up. You startle when your phone begins ringing, and you can’t recall when you slipped it into your pocket. Taking it out, a small bout of manic laughter leaves your lips at the caller ID. When you slide the accept icon, a streak of blood follows. Apparently, your hand hasn’t stopped bleeding and that makes you laugh harder for some reason.

“Hey Love, what’s-” You begin deliriously before being cut off.

“What’s with this email, Sweetheart? H-how did you..” Katsuki with an uncharacteristic quietness to his voice, with feigned confusion to cover the guilt.

Every emotion drains from you in an instant and your grip on your phone tightens, “Don’t play dumb, Katsuki. Everything in that email came directly from your phone.” You say in a tone so cold and emotionless that it makes Katsuki take in a sharp breath, and at the sound, you feel a dulled flicker of pride at catching him off guard.

“Baby-” he starts with a slight shake in his voice, but all the pet name does is make you see red all over again.

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU CALL HER THAT TOO!” You scream, and your voice echoes off of the structures around you.

A strangled sort of half laugh, half sob leaves your mouth, and you screw your eyes shut, “Oh my, sorry for yelling.. Uhm, you asked ‘how’ earlier, and I assume you meant to ask fully how I found out. Well, I’ve known that you’ve been seeing her since that first lie you told months ago. It’s sort of crazy to think that for as long as we’ve known each other, you’ve seemed to have forgotten what my Quirk is, Love.” From even-toned to words bathed in malice, your rage and pain-fueled instability makes even you dizzy.

“..Y/N, please.. I.. I love you..” Katsuki says, and your manic laughter returns from how pathetic he sounds.

“It still baffles me that somehow that isn’t a fucking lie, too! You wanna know something, Katsuki? For years, I admired and adored you. For years, I waited for you to want me too! Then, when you finally did want me, I gave you all of my love! I made it all look fucking painless! The unappreciation! The wanting of someone who couldn’t even be bothered to remember my fucking name most of the time! The suffering through my darkest thoughts! Life has put me through so much shit, but fuck it if I wasn’t the fucking greatest!!” You’re breathless by the end of your spiel, more manic laughter mixing with your anguished sobs. The sound of a car honking below you makes you jolt, and you choke on a sharp gasp as your balance goes off-kilter for a moment.

“Y/N, where the fuck are you right now?! I’m on my way home, just-” Katsuki rushes out, and you become conscious of the sound of his car engine revving in the background of the call.

“Tell everyone that I’m sorry and that I love them. I love you, Katsuki Bakugo. Goodbye.” You say with an eerie and quiet calm, and as you bring the phone down from your ear you can hear him screaming until you hang up.

You turn slightly to drop your phone onto your shoes, then turn back to look out over the city. ‘Such a beautiful view..’ You think with a small smile as you let your body tip forward. You close your eyes as you fall, the sound of air rushing past you thundering in your ears. It feels like you’re falling for seconds and decades before everything goes black.

You feel nothing..

No more pain..

No more suffering..

Just the soothing warmth of the black abyss that’s been calling your name for so long.

Note ~ Thank you to the Lovely Anon who sent in the ask, I'm sorry that I got so dark with this one.. Please make sure that you're taking care of yourselves, Lovelies. And if you feel like no one else does, just know that I love and appreciate you. <3

Divider Credit: @anitalenia