My Friend Got Here I Can Stop Laying On The Ground In Sorrow

my friend got here i can stop laying on the ground in sorrow 😀

i may bully all my friends but the second they leave i act like a victorian in mourning

nah bc why do i have a game on thursday wtf id thursday night lights

school wall clocks got me like “ok its mostly accurate this time of year but is about three and a half minutes ahead, until daylight savings comes during which it will be an hour and three and a half minutes ahead”

*doof voice* you see perry the platypus, when i was a young boy back in drusilstien, my parents named me heinz, and they liked that name. but you see, then this horrid tomato product was invented, with my name! my parents were disappointed at me having the name of common tomato paste! so i invented this! the tomato-disappear-inator! i will take all the tomatos, and turn them into stupid little rubber ducks. and my brother, whom loves tomatos, will be devastated, and forced to turn the mayorship over to me! and i will rule! the tri! state! areaaaaaa!

*takes off my pink tinted sunglasses, putting on a pair of identical orange ones* its time to get spooky motherfuckers

do glow in the dark contacts exist

i just need to know for personal reasons