I Meant To Do This When It Was Posted But The Adhd Had Other Plans.

I meant to do this when it was posted but the adhd had other plans.

It's not Unusual by Tom Jones- But when I see you hanging about with anyone It's not unusual to see me cry I wanna die

The fine print by the Stupentium- we work to earn the right to work to earn the right to give . Ourselves the right to buy Ourselves the right to live To earn the right to die

Sober by FIDLAR- You say that I'm immature And suck at my life Exactly it's my life And you know what? Don't tell me what to do

Monster by Imagin Dragons-I'm only a man with a candle to guide me I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me, A monster

Tired by NIve-I can’t find the answers When I’m buried in my bed feeling helpless

thank you for tagging me, im not good at tagging people so anyone is welcome

Tag game: Put your music on shuffle, choose 5 songs, and find a lyric from each song that hits deep.

I was tagged by @itskimchifriedrice​ Thank you for the tag <3 I really liked your songs and the lyrics. 

This is what I got: 

Beyond Oblivion - Trivium: “These shadows sleep so soundly. Appalled, he now averts his eyes.”

For the departed - Shayfer James: “I am far beyond repair / they will bury me alive - but I’m not inclined to care.”

Carry on Wayward Son - Kansas: “And if I claim to be a wise man, well it surely means that I don’t know.”

Have you ever? - Urban Heart: “Have you ever thought you found your place ‘til you miss a moment, and you’ve been replaced?” (it was hard to choose just one line from this song)

Impermanence - Architects: "Eviscerated, we're all players in a symphony that fights against impermanence"

No pressure tags: @cephalog0d @presiding @xetlretl @kayrielwrites @poetikat @adalineozie and anyone who feels like participating :)

Unforgiving

the title is a work in progress, if any oof you have ides please tell me

 2.3 k words

Fandom: Redacted Audio/Redacted ASMR/ Redactedverse

Couple: Lasko/Gavin, Past Lasko/ original male character

TW/CW: Past large age gap, mentioned cheating

After being heartbroken Lasko plots revenge with the help of and incubus. Fake dating

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Disgust, heartbreak, regret, loneliness, helplessness.

“Mother of god- Gavin- what- what are you doing here? And why do you have to - scare me like that every time.”

Fear, shame, relief

“My fault Sunshine, did not mean to frighten you.”

Anxiety, Hesitation

“Liar.”

“You know me so well.”

Calm

“You didn't answer, why are you here? Do you need something- I heard that your- um interested in classes- I could help-but um- I don't think right no-”

“ I'm not here for that Sweets. “

It was hard to ignore the tear stains and the wobble in his voice, even an unempowered would notice. A demon though, he could feel the heartbreak from miles away. 

“I could feel it.”

Shock, Fear

“What?”

He knew what Gavin meant but almost didn't believe it.

“ I'm sorry Lasko, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, I'm kind of tuned in to my friends.”

Lasko stumbled into his chair. He let a few more tears slide down his face.

“You-you don't need to be sorry- it's my fault. I'm an idiot- it's my fault. I let that- I let them play me. I-”

He stopped to breathe. Gavin stood, listened, and waited. Lasko took the time he needed, he crossed his arms over the desk, stuck his head in, and cried. Gavin felt the slow shift in Lasko's energy. He wasn't calming down.

Anger

“ I wish it was different."

Lasko said, inaudible to Gavin

“Puppy, I can't understand your words when you're talking through your arm."

He lifted his head, seating his chin on his arms. He wasn't blushing like he normally was when Gavin used any nickname. Now he was just blank-faced.

“I wish it was different. He was always- he was very possessive- and even if- if he said that he doesn't love me-  that she's who he loves. I know- I know he'll hate it- he'll hate seeing me happy with someone else, 'cause he knows that he treated me like shit. And I want him to know that. I want to make him jealous, I want him to hate himself for leaving me. I WANT HIM TO BE THE ONE THAT BEGS FOR MY LOVE. “

Anger, Desperation

“Lasko.”

They make eye contact. in Gavin's eyes there's sympathy and confusion but somehow it's paired with understanding.  It brings Lasko a sense of calm. He takes a few breaths before standing up and walking around to the other side of his desk. Standing right in front of Gavin. He looks up, a strange sense of confidence flashes through his body. A very small flash, before Lasko, got sucked back into his shell. His head down avoiding confrontation.

“ I used to beg him. To stay, to show me, love.”

Shame, Regret, Guilt

“I know I should have realized-should have- should have left. It was my fau-”

“Lasko.”

Thankful

Gavins takes a hold of Lasko. 

“It's not your fault, there are a lot of people who have learned, trained how to use people, they know how to make you think, feel loved. It's not your fault.”

“A part of me knows that, I want to believe that.”

Rage

“ But I still, I want him to feel how I feel, he needs to understand what he does to people. I want to make him so jealous he begs for me back.”

Hope

“ But you won't go back”

Anxiety, Fear

There's a pause

“Of- of course”

He lies.

Gavin pulls Lasko out of his chest and tilts his head up to him.

“I'm serious, Lasko, you can make him jealous, Get your revenge. But you can't go back, you won't.”

Lasko nods, that's all. Before he pulls and turns away.

Fear

Gavin wondered what Lasko was scared of now.

“Gavin.”

“Yes”

“Will you help me?”

Gavin knew what Lasko meant. He realized why Lasko was scared. He's expecting him to say no, with good reason.

“Lasko, you know I don't do relationships.”

“I know that, but he doesn't, we can fake it. Pretend we're together when he's around”

Desperation

" and you can benefit off it cause you can feed off m-"

" I'll do it Sweets, but because you're my friend, not because you're offering to let me feed off you. We should have some rules though."

Relief, Excitement 

"Yes, of course. Do you have any in mind?"

"Well, it depends. Who do you want to lie to everyone, or just him?"

" I mean- I guess everyone, I think we can, or should tell our friends. I don't want to lie to them. So just in public, we'll- we can act like a couple."

Fear, shame

Gavin is tired of Lasko hiding stuff from him.

"There's more, come on, out with it."

"I- I think the best way to sell- to make him believable and make him jealous well have to- be physical. But only when he's around, and only if you're comfortable. That's why I said you could use my energy because if I'm going to be, umm touching and if I'm touching you, you might as well take what I'm giving you. I've already come up with a few ideas, scenarios, and things I know will hurt him. But just the thought - uhh fluster me- you know."

" I think you mean 'turned on' but it's cute that you can barely even hint at such"

"Shut up, Gavin"

" ah ah ah that's not my name. Y'know what -"

" Lasko what is this empty section, I told you to fill my schedule as much as po-Gavin."

"Damien.”

Gavin greets the frantic confused fire element before he turns back to Lasko. kissing the back of Lasko's hand before saying goodbye to the both of them

“ it seems my time with you is over, for now. I hope you start feeling better, night sweets. Damien, good luck with your schedule, but don't overwork yourself.”

And then he was gone.

Lasko moves back to his deck, trying to move past what just happened and act as if nothing happened.

“ I- so I put a space in your- um schedule because well- you need it but also the timing of the classes were unreasonable- impossible, you - no one would be able to make it across the campus like needed in that time. So I decided that it would be best to giv-'

“ What the fuck was that Lasko?”

“Oh it was - it's nothing- not important. So do you still want me to - to fix you-”

“ Lasko don't - don't fucking lie to me, what was Gavin doing here, and the kiss?”

“ ok- so "

Damien gave Lasko a look telling him not to try lying again

“Gavin and I have decided to- fake a relationship with each other.”

“Lasko.”

“I suggested it, I've mentioned umm Zen to you before, he cheated on me, left me, and -I wanted to make him jealous.”

“God Lasko, how stupid- “

Damien stopped, realizing now wasn't the time to use harsh words.

“ I don't think that's wise Lasko.”

“Why's that? I know I act like- like a shy nerd but I deserve revenge, don't you thi-”

“ Of course I do, but this isn't the way”

“Why not?!”

“ because you'll just get hurt”

“ No, I won't it's fake I'll be fi-”

“ Lasko, I've seen it, you fall in love when someone looks at you. When Gavin starts giving you all that attention you're going to fall for him, hard. And you'll start to think that he feels the same because you're in this fake relationship. And when you confess, he's going to reject you, and you'll be heartbroken, inconsolable.”

“That's not true!”

Damien sighed knowing there was nothing he could say to stop Lasko's plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Professor Dawson"

Damien stared at the closed door, here for one reason. To meet up with Xavier, but he didn't want to go in.

"Damien?"

Huxley's voice and shoulder nudge broke Damien's thoughts

"We can head in, the class is over, Xavier is just talking to the professor."

Huxley steps in front of Damien and opens that door, holding it open for his friend.

The door shuts when both men are inside. Xavier and Professor Dawson are the only others in the room, just a few steps ahead, Xavior notices his friends come in and waves them over to join in the conversation. Huxley takes a few large steps while Damien begrudgingly shuffles closer, head down avoiding the professor's gaze.

“Dawson, this is Huxley one of my amazing teammates, and Damien”

“Sophia's kid?”

Damien didn't allow himself to physically react, but he was shocked by the professor's knowledge of his mother. He didn't like it.

“Yeah.”

“ I've heard quite a bit about your mother, I've watched her display her element, and I've heard of her accomplishments as a human born, she's truly remarkable. I didn't believe it a first when I was told she was human-born.”

 Damien snapped his head up, his eyes not hiding his burning rage. He knew this guy was a piece of work, from what Lasko told him but now it was personal. Damien waited for the professor to speak, make a mistake, so Damien could let himself go, let the stereotype of being hot-headed win.

Then Dawson laughed.

Right in Damien's face

Damien looked at his friends

What the fuck was funny

“Oh, Damien, I'm sorry I offended you, and your mother. I was very young when I thought that, I was still ignorant. I was barely ten, my father quickly corrected my thoughts. I'm sorry.”

Damien was confused

He was sincere

He wasn't lying

Sure Damien was no lie detector but he considered himself pretty good at spotting lies and insincerity.

Damien kept his eyes locked with Dawson. The professor's eyes soften from ice to snow.

“Truly Damien, I didn't mean anything by my statement. I hope you realize that.”

Xavier stepped in, realizing Damien wasn't calming down, and the room was only getting hotter.

“I know professor, I'm sure Damien does too but we're going to go ahead and leave, thanks for class”

The three students headed to the door as the professor commented to talk

“ Of course Xavior, I'll see you, and Huxley at your next game. Which is?”

“ Friday sir”

“ got it, I'll be there”

When the three were in the hall, with the door to professor Dawsons closed, Damien let out a groan

“I fucking hate that guy”

“Wow, Damien, that- this was the first time you met him”

Hux was shocked at his friend's immediate distaste for the professor

Xavier tried to calm the fire elemental down with a joke

“Maybe it's because of your opposing elements?”

Hux made a face at the ice boy, Xavier knew he messed up. Xavier still didn't know Damien too well.

“ Xavier, you're an ice elemental, I don't hate you.”

Xavior took that as a good sign.

Huxley changed the topic when they got outside, using his vast knowledge of the earth to keep the fire elemental from becoming angrier. It worked, the group found a table to have lunch at as they talked about various things

“Wow, is that Lasko and Gavin”

Damien slowly turns his head to see Gavin and Lasko sitting on the same side of a small table, Gavin's hand on Lasko's knee, Laskos face bright red.

“Yep”

Damien says it like he saw the two like this every day.

“ What do you mean ‘yep’, it's Lasko and Gavin.”

Huxley gestured toward the two, he was pretty freaked out by the unexpected pair. The more he looked the more things clicked

“Oh my gosh bro, is Gavin his not-so-secret boyfriend”

“ Not so secret boyfriend?”

Xavier questions, a little out of the loop with Huxley's friend group. Damien calmly explained, already tired of this conversation.

“Lasko tried to, and thinks he did hide that he was in a relationship but everyone in our group knew. He's pretty bad at lying.”

Huxley jumped in

“ yeah but he told you who it was”

Huxley then turned to Xavier

“But he wouldn't tell us- which is totally respectable, Lasko wanted to keep it a secret”

“No, he didn't.”

The two athletes snapped their heads to Damien

They didn't have to ask as Damien started to explain

“ Gavin isn't the ’secret boyfriend’. They broke up, and Lasko never wanted to lie or keep his relationship a secret he was forced to”

Huxley didn't like hearing that, he looked over at his air-powered friend. Xavier asked the next question

“Why?”

Huxley wanted to know but he was also scared of the answer, he couldn't come up with many good reasons to lie about a relationship[

“His partner thought it would look bad.”

Damien's hands grabbed at his jeans, squeezing hard as he thought about it

“Like- Lasko was embarrassing to be seen with?”

Huxley's voice had changed, it was steady but still unsure.

“Partly.” Xavier felt it wasn't his place to talk, but he felt for Lasko.

Huxley continued to stare at Lasko. Damiens stared at his jeans as he began to speak

“He thought-”

“ Who was it?”

Huxley's voice was, emotionless, not angry, or sad, but Damien knew it was a demand

“Zen Dawson.”

Xavier took a deep breath and looked over at Lasko, he'd always wondered why Lasko often came into Dawson's room after class. 

“Isn't Dawson like twice Laskos age?”

“No”

Huxley and Damien were surprised that Xavier was the one to answer. Damien finished what Xavier said

“He's 12 years older, that was one of the reasons he didn't want the relationship to go public”

“I'm starting to understand your hatred towards that guy.”

Damien let out a huffed laugh.

“There's more”

Huxley looked out the window as Professor Zen Dawson walked by, waving to the table as he passed.

Damien watches him as he walks.

“So much more.”

Gremliiinnnn, when is the next chapter of Knowing Is Safe out? 🥺 I've been checking every other day for a new chapter (I do that with the really good ones that I'm excited for sometimes) because it hurts my soul but it's just So Good.

I don't know when this was sent in but I only just saw it now, and I'm currently feeling more inspired because this is the second person to ask . I've read what I have written so far and It workable, almost done. So I'll do my best to post that, one thing I'm worried about is I add so much non-Canon backstory for cutie but its okay. I also wrote it before any new cutie content so I'll have to check of it works with the Canon, if doesn't I'll probably just say that.

Thanks for your support I love seeing v things like this

I wanna try writing for our life, I've already got a fic in the works but I was think of doing some drabbles to try and get a feel for how to write these character

I'll write for the main three guys. Derek ,Cove and Baxter.

Please send me some requests with these characters. With your request, please include the age/ step you'd like the drabble to take place during, if not ill choose. If important to the plot and if requested mc/Jamie can be gendered.

I won't be writing any smut , it's just not something I'm confident in.

Yall does damien have a canon last name?

Here's some prompts I found.

I'll be taking request for Our life beginning and always. These will be short drabbles.

You can come up with your own prompt as well just include the prompt , the character/s( derek, Cove, baxter) , the age/step prompt takes place and if necessary include the gender and reletionship the characters have with the mc .

[PROMPT LIST]

feel free to use this!

"I like the way your hand fits in mine."

"You have something in your hair, umm... Do you want me to get it out?"

"It's nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today."

"You can call me whenever you want... Even if you don't have a reason to."

"I'm bad at texting first, so I always end up hoping you will."

"Wait, don't pull away... Not yet."

"I've been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up.

"Would it be too cliche if we matched clothes a little?"

"First second I saw you and I couldn't get over how beautiful you were."

"I wanted to say "I love you" for the first time without stuttering, but that failed."

"You can't leave without letting me hug you first."

"Your lips are really warm."

"I can't get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you're having breakfast with me in my sweater."

"No, mom, don't tell her I said that about her!"

"My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes."

"Wow, I didn't think you could make me smile this big."

"You don't need to leave so soon."

"You look so comfy, and cuddle-able."

"Quit smiling at me, I can't stop messing up my sentences when you look at me like that."

"You're hiding under the blanket because you're blushing?"

"You make me so happy."

"Don't give me that face. How am I supposed to say no to that?"

"You made these cupcakes for me?"

"Let's share my coat, since you're so cold."

"How do you always manage to look so captivating?"

"Would you mind if I kissed you?"

"I know I've kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please."

"You're the perfect height for me to rest my chin on your head.

"I would've had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn't want to wake you."

"Is it cold outside or are you just blushing?"

"I'm so in love with her, I don't know what to do."

"I remember practicing how to ask you out to the mirror."

"Oh god, if you only knew the things I'd do for you.

"I will boop your nose as many times as I like, thank you very much!"