Spencer Reid Is A Bat Good Mom!Talia Editon One-shot

Spencer Reid is a bat Good Mom!Talia Editon One-shot

Spencer Reid has been an enigma for as long as Derek had known him.

Eidetic memory, never wore matching socks, love for statistics and math, and a special interest in languages, etc. Reid was one of his closest friends in the bau for years now, but he'd never have guessed how hot his mom was.

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Spencer was having a terrible day. Firstly, he forgot his lunch, missed his stop, had to wait for the next, and then almost ran to work, and when he finally made it, the coffee machine was broken. The only thing that was going to save it was the fact his mom was coming into town for a mission and wanting to meet up after work.

"You're late, pretty boy!" Morgan laughed at him. He attempted to ruffle his hair, but he dodged it, knocking himself against his desk. That would leave a bruise. At least his family wasn't here, Dami would tell him he was embarrassing the family name despite the fact he didn't even have the family name.

"Fuck..." he grumbled clutching his leg and limped behind his desk to collapse into his chair.

"Definitely not my day." He complained.

"Come on, boy genius! At least we dont have a case!" Penelope exclaimed.

"Pleaee for the love of God dont jinx us." Prentiss begged, lining up her paperwork on her desk.

"Bad day, Spencer?" She queried amused." Don't even get me started." He complained, throwing his arms back.

She snickered at him but returned to her own work. Garcia continued past to her own office after stealing her pen he borrowed yesterday, and Morgan simply smirked and sat back down.

The day continued with occasional questions or jokes. Some of the paperwork had begun to stack, and they were taking the day to complete it, but the rhythm of paperwork was drolling.

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Penelope had made a deliciously delightful and creamy pasta dish for dinner last night and taken the leftovers to split with her chocolate thunder. Derek and her were currently on their way to the closest microwave when they saw her.

Her being an incredibly good-looking older woman of possible Middle Eastern descent approached them.

"You two look like you know your way around the building, care to show me the way to the cafeteria?" She spoke with a calm and fluid voice with slight humor in it and an Arabic accent. The kind of voice, the words, that just roll together, and you just know they sing heavenly. Her eyes were sharp and intelligent, and it raised a slightly uneasy feeling in her stomach.

She was dressed simply but richly. The kind of clothes she could only dream to buy and never pull off.

"I don't know who's asking?" Derek attempted to flirt.

"I don't appreciate my time being wasted by shameless dogs like you. I'm already spoken for, and even if i wasn't, i certaintly wouldn't waste my time with you." She spoke harshly, shoving past between them barely avoiding bumping shoulders.

"Good lordy, what her problem?" She attempted to joke, trying to pick up her slack jaw.

"I don't know, but i don't like it." Derek warned in that sexy and mysterious voice of his.

Derek turned around and trailed behind that woman's expensive pencil skirt. She unfortunately realized that she wasn't going to be able to heat up her pasta and would have to eat it cold again. She lamented for a second, then followed him past the few people milling about.

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Derek had been in the fbi, police, and marines way too long to not be suspicious of a woman like that. He's seen plenty of men underestimate pretty women and miss the sharp keen eyes and get stabbed by their sharp keen knives, and he wasn't going to let that happen to any of his friends. Mostly Reid and Baby girl, the others don't need his help all that much.

She was walking fast, suddenly with a mission, and Derek somehow lost her in the lunch crowd. Eventually, he realized he couldn't see her and was getting nowhere, so they made the decision to head back to the bullpen she was probably long gone anyway.

By the time they made their way back after they found a microwave , they had all but forgotten about the mysterious woman until they saw her perched on Spencer's desk stealing his food.

Henquicku catologed the others in room watching in the room. Rossi and Emily were shamelessly watching a few desks away while Hotch and JJ were near his office on the railing, both pretending not to notice.

"What's going on?"He whispered to them. "That is apparently a woman close enough with Spencer to go to his apartment while he's gone and notice his lunch is on the counter so she made him homemade to replace it and brought it to his work." Rossi stated without looking away.

The woman was smiling lovingly at Spencer, and sharing a large dish of some Middle Eastern dish, he'd butcher the name of.

They continued shamelessly staring, but the woman would occasionally look st, then from the corner of her eyes. Spencer was laughing with her and smiling wider than he's seen him smile in years.

" I can't do this anymore. I'm asking them." Emily suddenly announced stsndingnuo and taking the room in great strides.

" Wait, Prentiss-" both he and Rossi tried in vain to stop her and were outmatched by Garcia folding shirts after her much slower.

"Hi, SSA of the BAU Emily Prentiss." She introduced herself with a kind smile and an outstretched hand.

"It took you all long enough to end your blatant eavesdropping." She spoke harshly, staring at the hand as if it had personally offended her.

"Talia, please not now." Spencer hissed at her, his voice scandalized.

"But habbibi-," the newly dubbed Talia tried defensively, attempting to explain himself.

Habbibi? Wasn't that some kind of Arabic word for love or something like it. He really wasn't as languidly gifted as the others.

"These are my friends and coworkers. Please play nice for my sake." Spencer pleaded. He could see Hotch and JJ finally making their way to them from the corner of his eye.

He turned to look questionably to look at Rossi but only got a shrug and a grimace all in one.

"Talia, pleased to make your acquaintance." She spoke as if her words poked at her own being.

" I'm-" He attempted.

"I already know who you all are, kalb." She spoke disdaned.

" Mom!" Spencer shouted suddenly incredibly offended.

"Mom...?" He heard Garcia mutter under bresth. You and me both baby girl.

" Reid, who is this?" Hotch questioned.

" Why I'm his mother. Don't you see the resemblance?" She spoke smoothly, her chin coming to rest on her hand. Her crossed legs and one hand on her lap while the other rested on her leg holding her head up directly contrasting Spencer's scandalized face, but the way he was now leaning backward arms crossed staring her down started to seem a little familiar.

While their mannerism were similar, their everything else was different. Spencer face shared no Middle Eastern features, and with light curly brown hair and chocolate eyes, her straight dark brown hair, and almost glowing emerald eyes, they were far from having any family resemblance.

"I thought your mother was Diana Reid?" Garcia asked hesitantly.

"Well, genetically speaking, yes." He answered, cringing st his own words.

"And legally." Hotch spoke deeply.

"Well, my beloved never cared much about laws anyway." She waved it off, disinterested.

"Mom! We are in a federal building!"

" What? You know he kidnapped Jason off the streets. That's far from the worst law he's broken anyway." She continued.

"He was later legally adopted. I never was." He spoke, his voice wavered slightly.

"Oh, habbibi, he would adopt you the second you asked. He keeps all the papers up to date in his office." She comforted.

" I... Um Hotch?-" His eyes were becoming suspiciously damp.

" Take the rest of the day, Reid." Hotch spoke simply before turning bakc to his office talimg Rossi with him. What a softie.

And as he watched Spencer and his mom walk out, he couldn't help but think more on the enigma of Spencer Reid.

A/n I loved writing Penelope and tried to bleed her cooky personality into her pov. The reason why Talia is a little bit more harsh is because she knows they weren't really there for her son when he was struggling with like Hankle and the other stuff so I wanted to make her have a bit of a grudge against them.

I love writing misunderstandings and Clark scrambling trying to superhearing his way into conclusions is one of my favorite tropes probably a lot of Jason centric because Clark would ask him for help because of crime alley trafficking

On the other the mystery of them looking hut never finding damians body and them realizing there's a chance and scrambling to find him prob have a lot of tim centric down this root just because he looked for Bruce when he was "dead" against the others

Both will take a lot longer just cause I might need to space everything out

Please leave any suggestions, criticism or characters you'd like to see used in this in the replies

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

Imagine Dick actually adopted Jason. Like that's so chaotic— especially when Jason comes back from the dead.

12 year old Jason: Hey, Dick? Since I'm adopted by you, does that mean you're my father?

18 year old Dick: ...I'm still too young to called dad so no, I'm just your legal guardian.

Jason: Okay, dad.

Dick, tearing up: Please no.

——————

Jason after resurrection as Red Hood: I am your son.

Dick dating Wally: Tf?????? How would I— JASON?

——————

Bruce: All of you are my sons.

Jason: Technically, I'm your grandson.

Damian and Tim: ?????? What.

Dick: Technically he's right. You've been a grandpa since I was 18.

Bruce: ...Fuck, I forgot about that.

Damian and Tim: WHAT THE FUCK?????

——————

Bruce and Jason arguing:

Bruce: You're grounded!

Jason: TF? You're not my dad, Dick is!

Dick: Please, for the last time, I'm not really your dad.

Jason's dramatic ass: GASPS?! I'M ADOPTED?!

DP X DC Demon Twins Prompt

When the demons twins were 4, Ra's tried to have Danny killed. Instead, Danny faked his death and ran. Since then, he and Damian have given each other regular updates via a league communicator using the codenames Songbird and Polaris (mostly after Talia sent clones after Damain). This was updated to specific phrases using the codenames after Dan. The pair know just about everything there is to know about the other. When Danny ran, they made a deal. To stop the league from finding Danny, they agreed that they would only reunite for 1 of 2 reasons. Either someone found out about the other twin (Excluding Jason and Dan, who were, technically, there) or there was an emergency and this was the last resort.

One day, a simple message comes through the communicator outside of the regular updates.

'The deal is off'

bruce: i just want to make sure you’re safe

tim: you microchipped me like a dog!

bruce, showing affection the only way he knows how to by planting a tracker in tim’s neck: exactly, safe.