Guess-whos-now-a-mood - Some Things Need To Be Put Online, Let Me Do That - Tumblr Blog

Tummy ache

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

Ouch? Why you gotta do me like that

Oh? You’re a Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley lover? Hm.. okay tell me more about your deep and haunting desire for someone at their worst to choose to stay with you at yours, protecting you from all harm and hurt like a big scary dog.

harp seal: beautiful heavenly angel so perfect

harbour seal: about what you'd expect…..puppy

weddell seal: 34 year old man named Wilfred

omfg i forgot that i never showed tumblr my greatest achievement. my pride and joy, my pi-ass de résistance

this could be us 🥺😩

I’m spitballing here cuz I woke up unexpectedly and I’m still tired, but some doms really need to learn there are other ways to praise a sub. Coming from an easily flustered sub from praise these are some good ones in my opinion:

“You deserve this”

“You look so pretty down on your knees like that”

“You’re so pretty, say it with me. Say how pretty you are”

“You can do better than that, come on. There we go good girl/boy/pet”

“I wish you could see how adorable you look right now”

“You can take it, that’s a good girl/boy/pet”

🥵 these are my personal opinion but still-

I love how the search function on this site is absolute garbage. I can look up a post word for word and I will NEVER find it

For the sake of the mission, I will do it!😋🥰

If only I had someone I could hold by the throat against the wall and growl in your ear "you are mine to play with and break as I please, do you understand? Your body, your holes, your mind, belong to me and only me"

Standing over them, my beard brushing against their neck, fingers leaving red marks on their skin....

Of course, I'd have to bend them over my knee and start spanking them when they resisted, or refused to make eye contact... Really I'll take any excuse to turn your ass bright red, covered in my handprints, listening to those cute little noises you'd make for me. I wonder how long it would take for your juices to start flowing, leaking down your thighs as I keep spanking you, stopping every few swats to tease your little clit. I might have to pin you to the wall again, but this time on your knees with my cock forcing it's way down your throat, only letting you breathe when I see a vein popping on your forehead, your face turning dark red. I'll make sure to tell you how pretty you look, being my personal fleshlight, as I collect your drool and use it to lube my cock as I bend you over the nearest furniture and start pounding away. Your face is going to be pushed into it, one of my hands wrapped in your hair while the other leaves marks on your pretty skin, claiming you as my toy. Maybe once your legs start shaking and you can't even stand on your own, I'll give myself the pleasure of using your tight ass too, completely claiming your body as mine and finishing the process of turning you into a fuckdoll for me and me only.

Oh, and to claim your mind? Playing with your nipples and clit, with my fingers, tongue, a vibe, whatever it takes to make you cum over and over again, until you think you can't anymore and then even more. You'll be crying trying to get away from my touch, only to be pinned by your throat and forced to endure it. I want to see your eyes roll back in your head, your mouth hanging open, your body shaking so much you go limp afterwards. I want you to be so completely used and spent that you can't do anything but lay there in a puddle of our juices and whine for more. I want you so far gone that no matter how hard I bite or slap you, no matter what I call you, no matter how I'm treating your worthless body, you don't even register that I'm doing anything.

Volunteers?

[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat"]

having trauma feels so cringe sometimes like ohhhh look at me look at me my mom was mean when I was little and it's going to continue to affect me and all my relationships for the rest of my life. I'm gonna be sick

Sweet baby 🥹

She has defied the laws of physics

We always talk about how James thinks he is too much and Regulus thinks he’s not enough, but may I propose the opposite? James, who is constantly living for others, afraid that he isn’t good enough for them so he burns himself out trying to be energetic and positive, while there’s Regulus, who is afraid that talking about his emotions and feelings too much will scare people away and will make them realize how different he really is from the rest of them, so he shuts himself out.

Regulus has a fear of being too much, that’s why he is so closed off. James is afraid of not being enough, that’s why he puts himself out there

honestly my favorite 4chan post

You know what I wish they'd mentioned in the movie? Adamantium is poisonous like lead. Wolverine wasn't born with adamantium bones, they were the result of a government experiment. If not for his healing factor constantly fixing the damage, he would have been killed by his own bones long ago. Juuust like how Deadpool is only alive because his healing factor constantly fights his cancer. Two human experiments who fought their way out of the test tube and are constantly dying but will live forever regardless.

okay so there’s a thing i’ve being doing recently to get myself to do my work tasks. i have adhd and it’s barely manageable even with the meds, the executive disfunction is ruining my career, no kidding. but i might’ve found something that actually helps, even if it’s very embarrassing.

i stuff myself with a dildo, put on my boxers and sweatpants to hold it in, and go sit on my desk to work. i have the following rules:

i’m not allowed to cum until i finish all of my work

for every finished task i reward myself. usually i divide my tasks in three groups and after i finish the first one, i reward myself with stuffing myself with a bigger toy. after i finish the second one, i reward myself with turning the vibe on (and after i finish the third one, i naturally reward myself with finally touching my throbbing dick while the vibe is turning my insides into mush)

i’m currently single so i imagine an abstract dom praising me and teasing me and cooing at me while i am at it. telling me i’m such a good and needy boy, that i just have to finish this thing and i’m gonna get my reward.

it works pretty well, the only problem is that being the undisciplined brat i am i can’t help but slip occasionally and find excuses to give myself a reward without earning it… i can only imagine how effective it would’ve been if i had someone to actually control me and punish me if i try to find an easy way out…

but this is also like. really embarrassing. because i have been prescribed meds and i know lot of normal life-hacks, but this is the most effective thing i’ve ever tried and i hate the fact. but like feel free to try it out, I’ll be glad if it works for you as well.

Y/N being obsessed with Wolverine

WARNING: SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE SAVE AND READ LATER ;)

Warning: Dirty flirting

Wade and Y/N go way back so when he’s captured by the TVA she ends up with him. 

OK so maybe she’s like his sidekick.

She has the same suit but sexier.

Through all the jumps to different Wolverines Y/N is thrilled by the handsome man. 

Wade has always known that she found him attractive. 

When they get to the “right” one she immediately flirts with him.

“Wow, aren't you like the sexiest man alive?” She flirts.

Deadpool looks at her through his mask like “bitch,really?” 

Logan snorts at her and finishes his drink.

Seeing him in his suit? Oh she’s in love. 

She runs his fingers up his muscles and sighs, “Made in heaven.” 

Logan raises his eyebrow at her and turns to Deadpool, “She’s like you but hotter.” 

He called her hot? Oh she gets more handsy. 

Even though she’s Deadpool's sidekick she stays out of the fights between them and is the one that breaks them up.

“You’re supposed to be my sidekick! Just because you want to fuck him doesn’t mean that title goes away.” Wade tells her.

“If he wasn’t here right now I would do the nastiest things to you.” She purrs. 

He looks at her up and down and considers it. 

“I heard that!”

When Deadpool wraps his arms around Johnny, Y/N does the same with Wolverine.

“You’re so buff and muscular. It’s hard to keep my hands off ya.” 

Cassandra gets inside Y/N’s mind and calls her a whore. 

Y/N smirks at Wolverine, “Only for you big boy.”

“Well since you don’t wanna join them in taking her down, Can I suck your dick?” 

Her suit gets nearly shredded and both Deadpool and Wolverine stare at her body, “If you don’t fuck her, I will.” Wade says. 

Wolverine snorts at that.

Seeing Wolverine with his mask nearly made her cum, “And here I was thinking that you couldn’t get hotter. I was wrong.” She sighs, dreamily.  

She cried when she thought she lost both her bestie and her dream man. 

But when he came out shirtless that thought went away. 

“Oh baby you’re gonna have to fuck me soon. I don’t know how long I can take it.” She says.

He chuckles and takes off his mask.

He pulls her into a kiss and she happily accepts.

Deadpool rolls his eyes as the kiss gets deeper, “Okay we get it! You guys wanna fuck. Disney won’t allow that.” 

Y/N breaks the kiss with a love sickening smile.

Wolverine looks down at her with the same look. 

“Ok fuckheads. Let’s get going!” Deadpool says.

Both of them sigh but walk hand in hand.

“You take good care of her and no babies until after marriage.” Logan rolls his eyes. 

“No promises friendo. We are fucking like rabbits tonight.” She smirks at him.