Sub - Tumblr Posts
I was always a shy boy who was ashamed of my submissive desires. When He messaged me for the first time He had nothing to indicate he was a Dom on His profile. He didn't need to, he exuded a calm, non-arrogant power.
When he started listing what He wanted to do to me, arousal and shame competed fiercely in my head. He was going to make me drink His piss. Get on my knees and look up at Him while choking on His dick. I wanted it, my little dick grew hard even thinking about it but what if my friends, or work colleagues found out I was so submissive, so controlled.
To calm my nerves I asked Him if He was discrete. He assured me He was not going to tell anyone and that He was only interested in using me. He felt safe, He was from out of town and just wanted a fuck toy. I could handle this.
He wanted to go for a drink before we fucked. I was surprised as usually 'Dom' guys had just went for a fuck and leave affair. Why would He want to go for a drink?
I arrived at the bar first, with my cock caged and a hole plugged as instructed. I waited there anxiously for Him. The He came through the door. Tall, relaxed and with a cheeky grin as He saw me there. Then I saw his sweater - "DISCIPLINE IS NOT A DIRTY WORD" my heart pounded as I looked around to see if there was anyone I recognised but as I checked the room I could feel my dick swelling up in its cage and felt like I was going to cum! He sat down and kissed my forehead and smiled at me "you ok there". He knew exactly what was happening to me, and had planned it.
Later he fucked me hard, tied me up, pissed on me. It was incredible - but the greatest act of domination was in the bar, calmly pushing my limits by simply wearing a sweater.
That was the day I learned that domination is about the subtle every day acts as much as it is taking a dick hard.
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Pussyboi plugged, bound, and humiliated
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Self Care
Self care is so important for caregivers/doms and Littles/subs alike. It is important for doms because subs depend on you to take care of them and you can not do that without taking care of yourself first. Think of it like this, an empty battery can not power something else. You need to feel good to make sure they feel good. Subs need to care for themselves because you can not always count on a dom to be able to completely care for you especially if you don’t have one.
Dom selfcare.
- let yourself relax. Take a day to just give yourself a re charge
- Take a warm bath
- Jam out to music
- Make yourself a nice meal
- Order take out and laze around in sweats with Netflix or Hulu
- Take a mid day nap
- Binge your favorite show
- Talk to someone and just let out your frustration
Sub selfcare
- Drown in your headspace and let your problems float away.
- Cuddle with your stuffies
- Make a pillow fort
- Take a bubble bath
- Stay in your jammies all day
- Eat an okay amount of sweets and junk food(something not detrimental to your health)
- Color to your hearts content
- Dance around the house to music
Everyone needs to take the occasional personal day to work on themselves and recharge. No matter what helps you do that, it’s worth it if it helps to better yourself. You can not help others if you can’t help yourself.
I know this is shorter than usual but it’s something that I felt needed to be said. Until next time Be good, stay safe, and have fun!
Self Acceptance
Acceptance is different for many people. Sometimes it’s easy to accept yourself and your habits, wants, or needs. For others, it may not be so easy. I have never really thought of it before because I am one of those people where it comes very easily to me. However a few days ago someone needing my help came to me about a little space need not sitting well with them outside of their headspace even though they needed it to be happy and that’s what I’m explaining today.
*happiness
Happiness is something that most everyone desires, needs even to make it through their day to day life. However, if we stop our selves from being happy because what makes us happy is a little off putting then we are only making it worse for ourselves. As long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way that they have not fully consented to or hurting yourself then there’s no problem with wanting to be happy. It’s like having a favorite food combo that everyone finds weird or even you find weird and not enjoying it even though you know it tastes amazing. Happiness is not a crime.
*acceptance
Liking something out of the ordinary is not uncommon. Everyone has their own preferences, likes, dislikes, etc. again, as long as you’re not hurting anyone in any way that they have not fully consented to or hurting yourself then there’s no problem with it. If you like that pacifier at Walmart, you buy that pacifier! You like the tea set at toys r us? I’ll write the tea party invitations for you! Diapers put you in your headspace? Diaper up and giggle away! My point is that even if you think your likes, hobbies, headspace activities, or anything else you like to do is out of the ordinary, just remember that if it makes you happy, relaxes you, de stresses you, or puts you in your headspace then there’s nothing wrong with it. Not even in the slightest.
That’s all for today. I hope this is a help to anyone who needs it. If you want help with anything specific or need to talk to someone my asks and inbox are always open day or night. Be good, stay safe, and have fun!
Safe words!
We’re talking safewords words today kiddos. In my opinion, they are one of the most important aspects in this community next to communication but they also go hand in hand. A safeword is a word used during a scene or 24/7 sub/dom (and the nsfw side of cg/l) dynamic. It needs to be something you would never accidentally say while in the moment or just in everyday life.
Common Safe words-
* green for go
* Yellow for slow down or need a break
* Red for stop immediately
I refer to this as coloring out and I’ve seen the term used a lot in the community. I believe that while doing an intense scene or pushing your subs limits you should check on them throughout by asking their color.
Other Safeword suggestions
* pineapple
* Unicorn
* Dragon
* Freeze
* Mango
* Phone number (from a book. It’s actually sad)
* Ladybug
* Apple
* Drop
The list could go on and on and on. It just has to be a random word that will get your doms attention quickly. Doms who do not listen to safe words are to be avoided at all costs. This is very bad and very dangerous for the submissive, safewords are there to protect you. Not to be taken lightly.
Those are verbal safewords, if the sub can not speak for this or that reason then there are still ways to give them the ability to safeword.
* hold a ball in your hand. Drop it to safeword.
* A small metal bar, drop to safeword
* Tap a designated spot on your body
* Clap( if possible)
* If not, shake your hands(like jazz hands)
* A button strapped to the subs palm, press it so it makes an alerting noise
These can also go on and on. It is really just what works for you and what will get your doms attention efficiently.
A fair amount of new subs or subs with a new dominant do not like to safeword because they feel it makes them look weak, this is absolutely not the case. Safewords are always appropriate whenever they are needed! Do not force yourself to do something you are not comfortable with to please anyone! They are meant to keep you safe, comfortable, and happy.
That’s all for today. Be good, be safe, and have fun!
Dom Drop and Sub Drop
Okay lovelies I will be covering subdrop AND domdrop tomorrow. It’s gonna be long. It’s gonna be extensive but if there’s anything you feel should definitely be in there or an experience you’ve personally had with either of them and you want me to add what helped you or how you knew what was going on or the symptoms you feel need to be covered let me know!!!! Either through anon or messages my inbox is always open but with such a serious topic I want to make sure I cover every base possible. Thank you for all your help lovelies!! Be good, be safe, and have fun!
Subdrop
For the multi-roll labeling purpose today I’m going to refer to it as Drop. Drop happens usually after an intense scene but can also happen after any scene if it was particularly pleasurable and draining. Drop is the result of your brain releasing “happy chemicals” and adrenaline in large doses during a scene and then your body and mental state going through a withdrawal essentially because they are not coming in at such high doses after the scene has ended. For subs it usually happens within a day or two of the scene. However, for doms it could be several days before it kicks in and really hits you. It’s especially bad for subs and doms with anxiety or self doubt. I will be covering both subdrop and domdrop today because they are both very real and could potentially be very dangerous.
Subdrop-
Subdrop tends to happen a day or two after a scene. It does not always happen but those no real way to guarantee it won’t happen so it’s good to keep an eye out for it any time. There are a lot of different ways it can show up. Let’s talk about the physical things first
- It can show up as feeling like a hangover
- like you stayed up too late (even if you got more than enough sleep)
- you could wake up feeling just off
- Drop can be associated with feelings of loneliness, mental and physical exhaustion, confusion, insecurity, tremors and many other physical symptoms.
Not so random fact: pain can make you tired. You’re going to feel it and it’s going to wear your energy down, and your body is going to be short on chemicals to give you a boost. This can make you crash and suddenly become exhausted, and being tired can make you emotional.
Honestly, the emotional side is the more dangerous half. Emotions can wreak havoc on our logic,you could be great one minute like normal, then suddenly you’re completely out of it and it can be mental torture.
- you could feel abandoned
- Depression(especially if you already have it on a daily basis)
- Even feeling unloved is common during subdrop.
Subdrop can not be prevented or avoided entirely. You can try but there’s no sure fire way to do so. Here’s how to help subdrop:
- If you can get to your dom and they can help you calm down and reassure you with cuddles and words that works fairly well for most people.
- COMMUNICATION( I really can not say that enough) Text or call your Dom as soon as possible.
- if you can’t get a hold of them, you need to stop and evaluate.
- Remind yourself that sub drop is normal
- remind yourself of what happened during and after the session.
- There should have been some type of aftercare, go back to that moment and stay there.
- Remember how loved you felt, hold on to the fact that your dom cares for you.
- Take your self to a happy place with happy and positive thoughts
If you’re feeling a little emotional, think of what makes you feel better when you’re sick (because you kind of are). A warm blanket, a bubble bath, candy, a favorite drink, music, etc. If you are someone who likes to journal, keep a notebook with you to write out how you feel to get the words out and down, this might also help you clear your head before you talk to your Dom.
Okay I know I was supposed to have this up a while ago but I had several things come up. I just recently got a new job and that’s been taking up a lot more of my free time which was sparse enough since I try to meet with my friends often. As you can see this only covers subdrop. I’m not confident in the level of research I’ve been able to do on domdrop and don’t want to give vague or incorrect information to you guys. I’ll try to get it done soon but no promises. I will also be at daughters of the moon which is a Wiccan event this weekend so contact and any sort of posting will be delayed until at least Monday. As always be good, stay safe, and have fun!
Hey guys. I had to go on a bit of a hiatus to fix a few things in my life and help a few friends get through some things. I hope to be posting again soon but I am currently on a road trip and I have a convention after that and then I’m moving for college so I’ve got a lot to do between now and mid July but after that I should be back to our regularly scheduled program. Still feel free to message me or send me asks, I really do love answering those, and I will be active as much as possible besides full on posting. This is caregiver signing out, be good, stay safe, and have fun!
Just found it funny that this is casual conversation for me and my friends. I’ve also been called “The Mom That Gives”. Being the mom friend is so nice. Anyways I’m all settled into the new place for the most part. I should be back to posting soon but I’m also still looking for a job so when that happens I might have to slow down a bit. I’ve seen a few people saying their ask box isn’t working so if you’ve sent me an ask or a message and haven’t gotten any sort of reply then please contact me on my kik: Freshie_Fangirl or my Snapchat by the same name. That’s all for now, be good, be safe, and have fun!
Aftercare
Sweet sweet aftercare. It’s an essential ending to any scene, no matter how intense. Aftercare is done after a scene is over and should be done every single time. Maybe at varying degrees but done none the less. Let’s go over some of the types and methods of after care
* Communication, this is so both parties can talk about what happened. What they liked or didn’t like, Anything new they want to explore further, any lingering thoughts or concerns from the scene, stuff of that nature. This may not always happen right after a scene since the sub may still be winding down
* Physical pampering, this includes massaging a subs sore muscles, especially if any sort of tying or bondage would cause the muscles to become tense or stiff; it really helps to use certain oils or lotions, bubble baths, again to relax the bodies of both the sub and the dom and clean off any bodily fluid left from the scene, rubbing soothing lotion over marks and inflamed skin to insure everything heals properly and won’t hurt too bad the next day.
* Nutrition, this isn’t so much aftercare as it is just general health common scense. Drink LOTS of water to rehydrate and maybe even eat a few fruits like apple slices or strawberries. Just something to refuel the body.
* Sleep, this is one of the most important points here. Get PLENTY of sleep. Give your body time to rest and recuperate.
Just because a dom/me may not use all of these methods does not make them a bad dominant. A fair few more experienced dom/mes have their own aftercare routines that they have settled into. However, if a dom/me does not perform any sort of aftercare, run. Run very very far.
I know it’s short but that’s all for today lovelies! Lots of drama since the move so it’s quite a task to adjust but hopefully I’ll speak with you again soon, till then, be good, be safe, and have fun!
For all my lovelies who might need a little nudge to help yourself. I know this may not change your mind on what you think people might do but hopefully it gives you a bit of confidence to do something that will help make being social just a little easier for you. I’ve had friends call me mid-anxiety attack because of having to socialize without something to help ease their mind. I hope this helps even one of you, then I will have done my job. Be good, be safe, and have fun!
God I really wish carrying stuffed animals around with you was socially acceptable
Let Me Be Sappy For A Minute
Okay so it’s very late for me and unfortunately I can’t sleep. I’ve been hoping from one ASMR video to the next and no luck. However, with a lot of those being from Karuna Satori (actual goddess of my sleep schedule) I feel like being sappy because I feel like I haven’t touched base and interacted with you guys a lot. I love all of you dearly whether we talk or not and no matter how small this blog is currently it always lifts my mood to know that in some capacity, no matter how miniscule it is, I’ve been able to help SOMEONE, or make them smile for the first time that day, or helped them solve a problem or hell, even just help with their homework! I’ve done something to make someone’s life just a bit better and that’s all thanks to you guys. I’ve moved back home and gotten in a much better mental state than I was in July. I have two jobs, one of which is my dream job that I wake up ready and excited to go to everyday and it finally feels like things are working out. Thank you guys, so so much. I truly do love and appreciate all of you. As always, be good, be safe, and have fun.
So um, hi? Long time no see? Like, really long 😓
So honestly this account will probably be going through a few changes as I decide what to do with it but first and foremost please note that it will still be kink and agere education and safety.
Few things to note:
I am 20, please for the love of the gods do not ask me to be your domme or caregiver if you are a minor!!! I love you all and I don’t mind you being here if you are 16+. (We’ll get to why in a sec) however, asking me(a stranger on the internet) to participate in any sort of dynamic with a power imbalance is super dangerous and makes me very concerned. Also it makes me a little uncomfy given the age and knowledge difference.
This account will be 16+. I say that because even though I do NOT and will NEVER condone participating in kink while you are underaged, I know I can’t stop you. And as someone who started learning about kink and Cgl as a minor I know how hard it is to get safe and accurate information on how to be safe. I’m happy to talk with you and answer questions in dms or through asks but I will never support actively participating in anything remotely kink related until you are 18. I encourage you to learn as much as you can so that when you’re of legal age and ready to dip your toes in you can be as safe as possible about it.
I’m just here to provide what I was denied. Because ignorance is how people get hurt doing things they know nothing about. Therefore let me know what you want to see talked about!!! Subjects you want to know about or just think aren’t talked about enough in the community!! I’ll try and be as active as possible but I make no promises, till then, be good, be safe, and have fun!
