Adult, Writer, writes fanfic in my spare time. Pronouns: She/HerFandoms: too many to name.

480 posts

Odin Is Like When Thor Was Born The Sun Shone Bright Upon His Beautiful Face. I Found Loki On The Sidewalk

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

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More Posts from Hauntedwizardtree

10 months ago

Me about 100 times a day.

Me About 100 Times A Day.

Later, when I read my notes.

Me About 100 Times A Day.
9 months ago

Satan!Crowley’s (Mis)Adventures Raising the AntiChrist

I want to read a Good Omens fic where Crowley is Lucifer, and when he is “ordered” to take the baby AntiChrist (his son!) to the Satanic nuns to be switched with the Dowling baby…he. Doesn’t.

Lucifer rebelled against God so why would he do what She says he will? And furthermore why would he put his child. His creation. His heir into the hands of Humans? He knows what the humans are capable of. Besides, he started the whole rebelling thing. There would be no one better to teach his child how to be evil (he can also teach his boy how to see the beauty in the world—give him all the love Crowley thought had been burnt away in his fall. Show Her that throwing him away had been a mistake).

Crowley makes it appear that the switch went off without a hitch, but really all the new parents go off with their own babies. And then Crowley, Lucifer, Lord of Hell and all that. Has to figure out exactly how you raise a baby demon. Or Angel? Lucifer was an Angel but he fell. Demons are fallen angels. So is the baby an Angel? Because he hasn’t fallen? Unless Crowley’s evil was passed onto his child? That wouldn’t be fair though. The baby hasn’t done anything wrong and Crowley will go back to being Lucifer and he will tear Heaven and Hell apart before he lets them punish his son just for existing.

Hours later Crowley is raiding a bookstore trying to find a Manuel on how to raise a child without giving them massive amounts of trauma. He is also worrying himself sick because he doesn’t really remember his time in heaven and isn’t entirely sure if angels were ever babies or not.

Eventually he decides to drag Aziraphale into helping him without explaining a thing.

(God is just watching all of this and wondering if allowing Lucifer to spawn was really a good idea. It seems to be just making his issues worse. Maybe She should have done as the version of Her from a couple alternate timelines over did and gotten Lucifer into therapy.)

just. I want to read where a bumbling bibliophile Angel and the equally dumbass King-of-Hell-in-Hiding raise the AntiChrist. Complete with Crowley trying to not let Aziraphale know the truth because he’s certain the Angel will leave him. And Beelzebub who knows exactly where their idiot king is keeps dropping by and Crowley goes to increasingly extreme lengths to keep them from spilling the news to Aziraphale and Adam. also. Gabriel. Just, Gabriel.

And the Angel and Demon are having to deal with their two sides while also trying to keep the whole AntiChrist thing from Adam.


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10 months ago

if a surgeon says you have to fast, you have to fast. end of story.

if a surgeon says your child has to fast, they have to fast. even if they are rreeeaaaallly hungry. even if they beg for food. even if they cry. even if they throw a tantrum. even if they scream for hours.

if a surgeon says you have to fast, you have to fast.

10 months ago

PSA: BAD LITTERBOX

i don't usually make posts like this, but this is a truly upsetting topic to me as a lifelong cat owner, so i feel i have a duty to share my knowledge with others.

there is a type of automatic litterbox for cats being sold that is EXTREMELY dangerous and has killed numerous cats through blunt force trauma, suffocation, etc. this litterbox is being sold under different brand names and logos, so i will include the picture of the model and two links to informational videos with more evidence and eloquence than i am able to provide.

please consider not having this type of litterbox in your home for your furry friends. me and my 16 year old tortie, puddy, want the best for all your kitty friends

image of litterbox below:

PSA: BAD LITTERBOX

here are my two video links that provide proof and testimonials of this harmful product:

This Scam is Killing Cats by penguinz0

The DEADLY self-cleaning litter boxes that have flooded the market by One Man Five Cats


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9 months ago

If you could relive any memory, which would it be?

Really interesting question! I think it would be after I published the first chapter of my second fanfic. I woke up to dozens of really excited, encouraging comments. It really boosted my morale and my desire to keep writing. And sometimes writing (whether that is fanfic or original fiction) can feel like a thankless job/hobby so it’s really nice to get feedback!


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