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Satan!Crowley’s (Mis)Adventures Raising the AntiChrist

I want to read a Good Omens fic where Crowley is Lucifer, and when he is “ordered” to take the baby AntiChrist (his son!) to the Satanic nuns to be switched with the Dowling baby…he. Doesn’t.

Lucifer rebelled against God so why would he do what She says he will? And furthermore why would he put his child. His creation. His heir into the hands of Humans? He knows what the humans are capable of. Besides, he started the whole rebelling thing. There would be no one better to teach his child how to be evil (he can also teach his boy how to see the beauty in the world—give him all the love Crowley thought had been burnt away in his fall. Show Her that throwing him away had been a mistake).

Crowley makes it appear that the switch went off without a hitch, but really all the new parents go off with their own babies. And then Crowley, Lucifer, Lord of Hell and all that. Has to figure out exactly how you raise a baby demon. Or Angel? Lucifer was an Angel but he fell. Demons are fallen angels. So is the baby an Angel? Because he hasn’t fallen? Unless Crowley’s evil was passed onto his child? That wouldn’t be fair though. The baby hasn’t done anything wrong and Crowley will go back to being Lucifer and he will tear Heaven and Hell apart before he lets them punish his son just for existing.

Hours later Crowley is raiding a bookstore trying to find a Manuel on how to raise a child without giving them massive amounts of trauma. He is also worrying himself sick because he doesn’t really remember his time in heaven and isn’t entirely sure if angels were ever babies or not.

Eventually he decides to drag Aziraphale into helping him without explaining a thing.

(God is just watching all of this and wondering if allowing Lucifer to spawn was really a good idea. It seems to be just making his issues worse. Maybe She should have done as the version of Her from a couple alternate timelines over did and gotten Lucifer into therapy.)

just. I want to read where a bumbling bibliophile Angel and the equally dumbass King-of-Hell-in-Hiding raise the AntiChrist. Complete with Crowley trying to not let Aziraphale know the truth because he’s certain the Angel will leave him. And Beelzebub who knows exactly where their idiot king is keeps dropping by and Crowley goes to increasingly extreme lengths to keep them from spilling the news to Aziraphale and Adam. also. Gabriel. Just, Gabriel.

And the Angel and Demon are having to deal with their two sides while also trying to keep the whole AntiChrist thing from Adam.

With a little retro vibe 😈😇

What Are Your Predictions/Hopes For Season 2?

I’m curious to know people’s predictions and hopes for season 2. I don’t doubt season 2 is going to be great and I’m so excited for this summer. Personally, I don’t have any predictions since I’m mostly the type of fan who “enjoys the ride rather than wonder what the destination will be.” But I do have some hopes.

-Season 2 to be more character driven than plot driven.

-Flashbacks of Crowley as an angel or just more hints on why/how he fell.

-Some physically affectionate moments between Aziraphale and Crowley like holding hands.

-Aziraphale wearing a different outfit for a few scene or an episode(more as a fun moment than anything else).

-Anathema, Newton, Adam, Shadwell, Madame Tracy, and the Them mentions

-More angels and demons who don’t fit the status quo of what angel and demon should be

-More Ineffable Husbands scenes throughout centuries

-Another witch character(but I think it would work better in a possible S3)

-More long hair Crowley scenes

My Good Omens LGBTQ+ Headcanons

If I misused any romantic, sexuality or gender identity, let me know.

Here are mine:

Aziraphale: Panromantic, Demisexual, Graysexual, Agender(he/they)

Crowley: Demiromantic, Demisexual, Graysexual, Genderfluid

Anathema Device: Pansexual, Cisgender

Newton Pulsifer: Straight, Cisgender

Adam Young: Straight, Biromantic, Cisgender

Madame Tracy: Bisexual, Cisgender

Sergeant Shadwell: Straight, Cisgender

Gabriel: Aroace, Agender(he/they)

Pepper: Pansexual, Cisgender

Brian: Gay, Cisgender

Wensleydale: Aroace, Non-binary(they/them)

Beelzebub: Biromantic, Graysexual, Non-binary(confirmed)

Hastur: Aromantic, Gay, Cisgender

Ligur: Gay, Cisgender

Michael: Bellussexual, Agender(she/they)

aethetics 

Cards Against Humanity Heaven and Hell

aww

🔥🐲👸

WOAH YOUR BUG-OMENS SO CUTE GOSH!!!!!! On russian language mantis called "god prayer" AND THIS IS KINDA HILARIOUS BECAUSE........ CROWLEY........

(ladybug also called "Gods cow")

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS LADYBUG ADAM TRUTH !!!!!!! (ignore that ladybugs technically eat aphids its the first teeny bug i could think of)

HES RELEASING NEW MUSIC SOON AND I AM SO EXCITED AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

owl city was one of the great pioneers of 21st century music but society just couldn't handle adam young's autistic swag. anyway did u guys see he recently released a remix of smash mouth's all star, isn't that weird

ANIME ADAM WILL BE REAL IN TEN SECONDS.

For some reason, anime owl city is the funniest thing i've seen all year. I'm crying. I'm shedding actual physical tears about anime owl city. He's released a song to be the theme of an anime girl mobile game, guys. Owl city. Icon.

Happy stimming over the end credits of Wreck It Ralph bcuz Owl City!!!!! Ahhh!!!! I hope when the new album comes out Adam starts making songs for movies again :D I love hearing my special interest in random movies!!!!!!!

WHEN BOTH OF THE SPECIAL INTERESTSSS???????? OMG OMG OMG OMG

there’s a realm above the trees, where the lost are finally found so touch your feathers to the breeze, and leave the ground

Every HootOwl (owl city fan) needs to follow me immediately!! You guys are so cool and I need more friends who like owl city (and Adam’s other projects ofc!)

I think it's a bit unhealthy how easily I can quote Good Omens...

DISCLAIMER FOR ANY SENSITIVE READERS: This series is going to deal with heavy topics like abandonment, death, guilt, grief, and a lot of other stuff; this first chapter in particular is probably going to be pretty heavy for the same reason.

I will be writing this is present tense and will be constantly be saying, "if this was a show, this would happen or this is what we see," both because I originally thought of it as a show and because this is a screenplay, but more narratively cohesive.

Got that? GREAT!!!

Let's dive in!!!!!!!!!

Chapter/Episode 1: Union- Part 1

We start off in darkness with the sound of crackling fire in the background. One by one, a red light shines and silhouettes five figures, all standing in a circle as they face each other. If this was a show, the camera would be behind one of these figures as he and the other figures eye each other.

He starts a fire in his hand and two figures bristle while the other two back away-

An alarm clock blares out and we cut to a dark bedroom in a hotel suite, like the sound of the alarm woke US up, along with the character sleeping, who groans as his alarm keeps blaring.

After MAYBE the fifth chime, he sighs and slaps the alarm clock off, his arm slipping down his nightstand and droppong to the side of his bed.

His hand curls into a fist as the door is knocked on.

"Mr. Wagner? Are you awake yet?"

Yes! We start with our boy Lucius Wagner!

Lucius loudly humms, "Mm-hm" and sits up.

"You have an interview at nine', a meeting at a quarter to noon, and a conference at five'. Looks like another busy day."

He hears the person- man, woman, it doesn't matter- walk away and stands up from his bed to pull the curtain to his room back only to wince when the light hits his face.

It's too early for the sun to be so bright.

Despite being tired and not wanting to write to people because he can't talk, Lucius gets ready for his day.

Back to what we'd see if this was a show: the camera would be on Lucius as he stares out at the city before he takes a deep breath and turns away. Jump cut to the camera behind and away from Lucius as he turns and walks to the bathroom, turning on the TV before he starts getting ready, more specifically the news.

The camera stays on the TV as we learn Lucius, despite his young age of 22, is running for senator just like his human father did, but he is more successful because not only has crime rate already decreased, but any political opponents he goes against stepped down within minutes of the debate or conference he's in. With no evidence of bribery or any other scandal involved, as criminals are being found dead, one being brought up in todays broadcadt, Lucius is on his way to becoming Sentator of not only Massachusetts, but of the United States as a whole.

We do a transition from Lucius's room to the scene where the camera zooms in on the TV screen as it shows a body under a blanket and we hear the click of a camera and the lens shutters close and open.

On the streets, we now follow Damien Thorn as he gets as close as he can to the scene and the body. He has been investigating these 'accidents' since the arrival of everyone's favorite new politician, who has never spoken a word on camera, never said anything to or against his opponents, and never spoke during interviews. And somehow he's running for senator. Since it seems fishy to him, and because he keeps getting a sick feeling in his stomach when he sees Lucius on the news, he decided to start digging by tracing the criminals who have died and anyone who stepped down from conferences.

The body he is investigating today is a fisher from the town Lucius grew up in, who was charged for numerous cases of assault and fraud.

He is stopped by a police officer when he tries to cross the police tape.

"Sorry, that's close enough."

"It's for the paper. People want to know what's going on."

"They don't need to see this."

Damien scowls as his eyes go black, uttering a "sorry" as he stares the officer down.

The officer's face goes expressionless and just as he lifts the tape, the announcer gets a breaking report.

"This just in! An earthquake near the United Kingdoms has caused the south western quarter of England and Wales to be flooded and taken out to sea!"

Cut back to Lucius in his room as he chokes and gags on his toothbrush; if you've ever hit the back of your tongue while brushing your teeth, you'll get why he gags. He walks out, mouth kind of full of toothpaste and his toothbrush in his teeth, and sees an over head view of the map, showing just how much of England has been wiped out.

For context, here is what was taken out, circled in red⬇️⬇️

Lucius's eyes widen as he takes out his toothbrush.

I'm not good with fractions, but a third or fifth of England is now gone. And-

"While it is right now unknown how many are injured or missing, authorities have reported countless victims were lost in the catastrophe."

Lucius turns off the TV and finishes getting ready, a time jump/transition of Lucius going to the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste and then transitioning to him looking up from washing his face, like he leans down to spit out the toothpaste wearing no shirt and with some shower head, but when he leans back up, he's in a black dress shirt, about to tie his tie, his hair is tidy, and he is rubbing his face dry with a towel.

Part of England gone. Just like that.

It's a pretty shocking thing to imagine, with possibly hundreds or thousands of people being wiped out in the blink of an eye and the cause somehow being an earthquake.

Seems sort of fishy, if you ask me.

Lucius tries shrugging it off as he leaves his room, dressed to impress, and heads out for breakfast and his interview.

Cut to a pair of men walking on the sidewalk, the white-blonde haired one panicked and finicky while his red haired partner is swaggering beside him with a briefcase. The more brightly dressed man keeps "oh"-ing and whimpering , which is driving his more darkly attired kind of insane.

An angel and a demon.

If you've seen Good Omens, you KNOW who there two are

"Angel, stop muttering. You sound like you're summoning Satan himself."

"What if we can't find him? And what if he says 'no?'"

"We'll make him say 'yes.'"

Aziraphale looks down at the briefcase and then nods.

"And just how are we going to find him?"

"We found the antichrist once. We can find him again."

Aziraphale stops and gives him a withering look.

"Another one. We can find another one."

SPEAKING OF THE DEVIL'S SON!!!

Just as the two continue, they bump into a certain photographer that makes Aziraphale shudder like he's just gotten into an ice bath and Crowley smell either blood or smoke.

This wasn't what Crowley had in mind, but it's a start.

"Oi! 'Scuse me!"

Damien turns as he keeps walking. "Sorry, I have to hurry to..."

Aziraphale now starts trembling and Damien gets a sick feeling in his stomach, not like with seeing Lucius, like he has an air bubble in his stomach or really bad period cramps.

Crowley narrows his eyes behind his sunglasses and steps closer.

"Where you off to so quickly?"

Damien fights a gag as he continues to back away. "I-Interview. Wagner's see-seeing someone. Im-Important for the news."

Crowley steps closer and pulls Damien close by his color, making Damien pale and fall to his knees.

"Lucius Wagner?"

Damien nods.

Aziraphale and Crowley exchange glances before looking back at Damien, Aziraphale taking the briefcase away so Damien can recompose himself.

Cut to Lucius in the middle of his interview, which is being recorded on the news. So far he has been asked the basic political questions and he gave the correct answers to get people to love him. Then comes in ANOTHER breaking news report.

Part of California, Arizona, and New Mexico has also been flooded, but there aren't as many people missing as England.

"Mr. Wagner? How do you see yourself helping the families that are now broken by this tragedy?"

Before Lucius can answer, two people catch his eye.

Like when Damien saw him, Lucius gets a sick feeling in his stomach until he sees two young men, one scowling with wavy blond hair and the other with brown hair and the giddiest smile on a boy.

Suddenly, a member of the crowd pulls a gun out and shoots at Lucius, who throws himself and the woman he's interviewing with to the ground.

The blond smirks and the brunette grows angry.

The shooter gets a look of pure despair on his face as he drops to his knees letting the police drag him away.

Lucius is escorted away instead gets a call.

His schedule has changed completely. He must now go a military base, where a private jet is waiting for him to take him home; his address is classified to the public, so no one knows where he lives.

Cut to Lucius walking through a crowd as he tries to get to his jet, trying his best to wave at the paparazzi and camera people.

"Mr. Wagner, if you'll let me ask you-"

The man who asked grabs Lucius's arm and the two meet eyes. You know that part of the forst Lucius game where time freezes and you see your target with the screen tinted red? Lucius and Damien met eyes and time freezes entirely as they stare at each other and feel the growing urge to kill each other.

They don't hear anyone or anything. They only see each other.

Both are wide eyed as they realize who or what the other is and glare at each other.

Luckily, a body guard punches Damien away and helps Lucius to the jet, where he takes his seat and lets out a breath as he loosens his tie and tips his head back.

"So sorry for all that, Mr. Wagner, sir."

Lucius looks over to see someone like an air flight attendant and writes them a message.

'Don't worry about it. I've had worse happen.'

"Well, at least you're headong home, after all this."

Lucius nods and leans back once more, getting comfortable for his flight to home sweet home.

It's a relatively short flight, mostly because we'd see a timelapse of the sky and Lucius napping in his seat before we cut to him in his house.

Being a senator in the running, Lucius is on a very nice house, one he keeps clean and well furnished. Think Lucifer's penthouse in the shiw Licifer, but it's an actual house and doesn't have a wall of alcohol, just a small cabinet in his parlor and shelf in his fridge.

He turns on a light and nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees Crowley sitting in his living room.

"Hello, Me. Wagner. Nice flight?"

Lucius recomposes himself and raises an eyebrow as he holds a hand out. 'How did you get in here?'

"Just a bit of miracle work from a demon. Takes one to know one, right?"

Lucius takes a seat as he writes a message, showing it to Crowley with narrow eyes.

'I don't exactly know who you are, but you don't have the right to make an accusation like that.'

"You're one of the sons of Satan, I'm pretty sure I do."

'My father was Charles Wagner.'

"Ah, yes, the loon that killed your mother and his own staff while you were sent to the nut house."

'He tried to kill me.'

"Eye for an eye, you prat."

Lucius's eye twitches as he snaps his pen in half, eyes going red.

Crowley only smirks and removes his sunglasses, revealing his snake eyes, befire putting them back on; the lights Lucius has are bright.

Lucius settles and grabs another pen from the coffee table and writes a new message.

'Antony J. Crowley? It's about time London's famed has paid the US a visit.'

"You would think." Crowley leans forward until his elbiws are on his knees. "Look, you're not going to like this, but there's something we need your help with."

Lucius gets up and shakes his head before leaving a messge on the table, and to go the the kitchen to get a drink; like hell he's dealing with CROWLEY sober.

'I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a country I'll be running soon. I don't exactly have time to help you or your pet angel.'

Crowley snarls and follows Lucius to see the young man about to take a sip of a drink.

"Don't you think it's weird that parts of England and America are just gone? That the ocean just took them away and an earthquake was the cause?"

Lucius pauses and lowers his drink slightly, eyes on Crowley as he nods and gestures for the snake eyed demon to continue.

'I'm listening.'

And that will be it for part 1 of Chapter/Episode 1!!!! Man, was this fun to write!!!! Like I said, this is just part 1 and I will be continuing with Chapter/Episode 1 Part 2, I promise!

Sorry for all the yelling, I'm really excited!!

Thank you all so much for reading this and I hope you all have a happy and safe holiday season!!!

A Good Omens Concept: “Fairly Odd Godparents” where everything is basically the same but the wands are just useless accessories since they have magic but they just really want to be “cool” around their godson to whom is also the literal spawn of Satan, instead of that chaotic son of the ambassador

Au where instead of bringing it to the hospital, Crowley just steals the antichrist, and then they become Adams dads.

Crowley tried to name him Jesus, Aziraphale called that blasphemy.

I was hugging Adam

I made this - not so sure if this works on Tumblr as well as it does on Twitter but anyway

“Do you hear voices? What are they saying? What are they telling you?!”

redbubble || ko-fi || instagram

Music Moodboards: Owl City

Living close to the ground Is seventh Heaven, ‘cause there Are angels all around 

Among my frivolous thoughts  I believe there are beautiful things  Seen by the astronauts

The original evil baby

“A road sign warning about evil babies”

Created by DALL·E 2, AI that can create realistic images from a description.

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The heading of this post was used to generate the image, src