When You Keep Getting Easily Distracted While Writing:

When you keep getting easily distracted while writing:

I!!!!! Had SUCH an issue with this!!!!! I think I got metaphorically kicked down far top many times in grade school, since I stopped talking so openly about my hyperfixations by the time junior high came. At least to everyone except my mom, and my closest friends, because I KNEW for CERTAIN that they would never make fun of me.

I still remember a few things that were said that will forever haunt me and make me doubt myself. The one that hurts the most would probably be when I was... Ohh, 12? Maybe 13? I had just experienced my first abrupt fixation shift, from Invader ZIM to I THINK it was Alien??? Or maybe Assassin's Creed... But I remember talking about my new fixation with my mom and step-dad one day, when my step-dad pipes up and tells me; "You know what I find weird? You know how you keep talking and talking and TALKING about [X Interest] nonstop? Yeah. You used to do that with something else, too- you were absolutely Bat Shit Insane over it. You remember Invader ZIM? Yeah, you were Bat Shit over it, and now you just FORGOT it? It's fuckin weird, kid."

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Thanks. Now I will forever be self conscious over how hard I fixate, and how much I gush about them. :)

DON’T MAKE FUN OF THE HYPERFIXATIONS OF PEOPLE WITH ADHD

I have ADHD.

Elementary school - judged for being hyperfixated with cats

6th Grade - bullied relentlessly for hyperfixating on Harry Potter

8th Grade - bullied for hyperfixating on Hamilton

9th-10th Grade - teased by my friends for being hyperfixated on Supernatual; people telling me I talk about Supernatural too much

Result - I’m too scared to talk to people about my hyperfixations because I don’t want to be annoying so I just bottle up all my thoughts about it and it’s really sucky

Just don’t make fun of people’s hyperfixations!! It’s literally such a dick movie!!

I feel annoying as fuck when I start infodumping but when someone else starts talking about their hyperfixation/special interest I could literally listen to them for hours, I love how passionate they can get, it’s adorable!! Even if I wasn’t interested in the topic/thing before they make it sound so interesting because of their enthusiasm and interest for it :’)

I have ADHD so I’m immune to podcast

The ADHD brain-house

Ok, so, I had to explain to someone what it’s like in my head, having some pretty intense ADHD. And I think I found the best analogy finally. And I think it’s something that others with ADHD can relate to and to try to explain what it’s like.

Imagine: 

Your brain is like a house. 

There’s rooms with different functions (one room controls emotions, another allows you to focus, you got a kitchen that helps you figure out what to eat and a timer to tell you to eat, etc.). Sometimes, the light in a room is off, nothing actively going on in there. There’s clocks everywhere, helping you to keep track of everything. There’s a robot, like a roomba, that’ll help you prioritize tasks and will help keep the two or three cats (your thoughts) from knocking too many things over and causing chaos. The roomba also safe guards your rock collection (your emotions, each one unique and distinct from one another), making sure they get returned to their little treasure box for safe keeping.

That is what I think a normal brain is like. 

Yeah, there’s going to be chaos in every house– no one is perfect. Perhaps one of your rooms has a blown out lightbulb that needs replacement, or you got a few more cats than normal, or maybe you only have a single clock. Who knows. No house is the same.

Now, imagine, if you will, the following:

Your brain is like a house. Except now, sometimes the doors between rooms are locked shut, and you can’t find the key to them. You can’t tell if the lightbulb is working in that room. Sometimes, you got several lightbulbs that have blown out, but you can’t find a replacement. Sometimes, you can’t turn off the light in a room, no matter how much you try to mess with the switch (I mean jeez who can sleep with all that light?). It’s always running, wracking up your (emotional) energy bill. There’s not a single clock in house. So, a few minutes could feel like an eternity, but sometimes, 13 hours, doing something you love, without a break, is gone in a blink of an eye.

You still got the roomba… except now, EVERYTHING is a priority. Also, he’s on high alert ALL THE FUCKING TIME and will stab ANYTHING that gets too close to him or your rock collection with the knives that have been tapes onto him. 

And that rock collection? Well, there’s no box. Actually, I think one of the cats peed all over the last make shift cardboard box Stabby the Roomba tried to use to protect them. And well, they’re not quite as… distinct? They’re definitely each a different type of rock. An outsider might be able to tell you the difference between your pegmatite and diorite. But to you, you can’t tell them apart as well. Obviously the black rocks are negative emotions and the colorful ones are positive. But… you can’t tell the difference between shale and obsidian. Or an opal from a diamond. They’re just… dark or colorful.

And lawd… don’t get me started on the cats. They’re no longer just cats. No. They’re flippin’ kittens and there’s like…. at least four dozen. Maybe more. Oh! And half of them are on catnip. And you don’t know which ones are the chill stoner types, the unaffected drunks, and the violent junkie.

And the greatest relaxer for those kittens is bird watching. Stimulation from the outside world gets them to settle down. But not too much stimulation. Otherwise, they’ll return to that same chaos, trying to catching those birds.

And it’s like that… all the. Fucking. Time.