Guys I Swear To God I Almost Fucking Died

guys i swear to god i almost fucking died

i got a notification from my instagram saying someone had requested to follow me and i was like ‘cool, i dont post anything but let’s look ‘em up’

but when i actually registered the name my heart dropped and i stopped breathing

my celebrity crush had requested to follow me

someone who had a shit ton of followers, but wasn’t following anyone had requested to follow me

I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS

literally my first thought was ‘my life is not a fanfiction. this isnt happening, it’s not real, this isnt real, fuck it better not be real’

but then i thought ‘what if this is real? what am i gonna do? im not pretty enough for this, shit what if they expect an actual conversation?! i’m not good at those! fuck it, im ignoring it. shit maybe i should block them?’

i didnt know what to do, i had to call in an expert

cue in my best friend who had as much experience in this as myself, meaning none

she was no help, i never mentioned my celebrity crush by name, i only gushed about them

during my talk with her i came to a decision

i had to delete instragram

i had to say goodbye to my cat memes, my dog memes, my funny comics and my 9 followers

it was time to say goodbye old friend

 so as my last farewell i went to their page to reflect on my decision one more time

and lo and behold

it was a motherfucking fan page or something dedicated to the group

i had never felt so goddamn relieved in my entire life

so the feeling of finding you’re friend’s tumblr is great but once you message them that feeling gets shat out your ass because paranoia consumes you and makes you think it’s someone else

something i like to do a lot is get into fandoms i know absolutely nothing about.

so whenever i get bored i just browse through the genres, choose an interesting title and swan dive into whatever hell is waiting for me.

i like to call this fandom hopping.

this can result in a few outcomes

i'll become hyper focused and obsessed with the fandom, losing sleep and reading as many stories as i can. the ship doesn't always matter

speaking of ships, i have a bad habit of shipping notps, rarepairs or nonexistent pairs. it's awful, i find either abandoned/hiatus fics or non at all. if im really lucky i can get a few pieces to read.

crossovers. you can find them in almost any fandom, whether it be cameos or intertwining storylines. the problem with this? i get interested and then i lose focus on the first fandom just to jump into a second fandom. then i keep jumping back and forth between them, maybe even another one due to another crossover. now i have 50+ tabs open and i lose interest for one reason or another and go into yet another fandom just for the cycle to begin again

i lost track of where i was going with this

sometimes, i wont even find something that holds my interest and continue to fandom hop. or i'll find something and not be in the mood for it so to the tab graveyard it goes. heck, i can be so concerned with finding the right fandom that any others i was previously in will be discarded without a thought only for me to freak out when i cant remember them or find them anymore.

will go into almost any fandom, doesnt matter if i dont like them or if i have never heard, watched or read any of their media. if im interested im interested, if im not im not.

i find a lot of porn fics, which y'know isnt bad but i crave more than just that. give me their happines, their pain, the good times and the bad. let me see them grow and mature, let me see them struggle to overcome whatever obstacles come their way. i want to see the successes and the failures. if i wanted to just read porn, because sometimes that's all that it is, i'd filter my tags.

12 DAYS OF GRINCHMAS — (3/12) ↳ “All this excess and nonsense, it was all about greed. About meaningless stuff, that they didn’t even need.”

y'know what fanart of wenclair we should see? the whole "someone will die" "of fun" trope but have enid being pissed off and about to transform with wednesday in the background with a stoic smirk and her own weapons, ready for the carnage