it's my drama. appreciate my flaws & learn from my mistakes. it's okay to cry your heart out but don't forget that there's always a second chance. be strong but don't forget to be yourself. you can be wild and carefree but don't forget to be serious at times. oh remember to laugh too! life is amazing and unfair at the same time... deal with it even if it's not the reality that you wanted!
300 posts
Day 7 Of This Battle: Feelin' Much Better.
Day 7 of this battle: feelin' much better.
i hope everything's fine on her side too...
More Posts from Iamkakasince1991
i thought i was the last man, woman in my case, standing.
out of all four of us here, i thought i will be the one who's going to just let this day passed by. out of all four of us, i thought they will be more eager to talk to her. but they all ended up sleeping. they must be really tired from today's busy life. but i sort of disappointed that they did not even wait for a little longer. at the same time, i feel stupid and unwanted for waiting. i guess i am waiting for nothing. hindi ko lang alam kung sipsip lang ba o tanga lang ako talaga. hahaha nag-aantay ako sa wala. kahit nga siguro tadhana tinatwanan na ako ngayon. para kasi akong tanga na sobrang excited to talk to her pero hindi naman mangyariyari. siguro hindi rin nya ako gusto makausap. ansakit lang eh. alam mo yun. yung feeling na unwanted ka. o siguro madrama lang ako today at na mimisunderstood ko ang mga bagay bagay. ah ewan. Tanga nga kasi AKO!
Day 21 of this battle: the diagnosis.
The traitor, cancer, is my enemy. Stage 4 of colon cancer. Why???? Why does this have to happen to Umpe?? She doesn't deserve this! She doesn't need to suffer because all her life she gave up everything until nothing is left for her self. Why is God being so unfair to her? Why does God kept giving her challenges? She doesn't need them. Umpe does not deserve it. Nobody does! What will happen now? Every seconds, i feel like i am running out of time to spend with her. Me being a thousand miles away from Umpe kills me. I wish I am next to her. I want to be there for her. I want to take care of her. I don't want to lose more chances of being with her. I want to spend more memories with her. I have to be there for her. We will win this battle. We have to. And i will make sure of it.
Day31 of this battle: Mom is flying!
It has been almost a month now. I have no news about Umpe for a week now. I believe I chose not to ask too because I was afraid to know what is really going on. I busied myself with my homework and helping mom packed her things. I guess it was a breather for me too. But now i feel guilty. I wanna call and ask how she's doing. I wanna hear that she's doing a lot better now though i know it is not like that... Good thing my mom is on her way to Batangas now. This gives me a sigh of relief and makes me worry less for Umpe's condition. I know mommy's gonna do everything for her. I believe my mommy. I bet she's currently up in the clouds somewhere above the Pacific Ocean... I can't help but to get excited for her. She's finally going to see everyone after four long years. She will finally get to hug UMPE!!! I wonder if mommy's as excited as I am... How i wish i was next to her so i can hold her hand and tell her to be strong and it will be okay. I know this trip will cause a lot of tears and hurtful memories not only to mommy but also to UMPE. I believe mommy is going to break the news to her so she can get the surgery to remove the big lump on her colon. I wish UMPE will be okay and will allow mommy to help her through this battle. I hope she'll decide to fight and win over this. I am just giving it all up to GOD and praying He will stay by their side all the time, provide them the strength they'll be needing and a miracle for UMPE to stay healthy and happy again. Mommy, please make Umpe happy when you get there. Pleasw hug her for me to let her know how much i love her and i miss her. Please give Umpe a great memory she deserves. Lastly, please take good care of her while you are there... I love you both! *kisses*
Day18 of this battle: talking abt it only breaks my heart.
I started talking abt what i feel abt the situation right now and still, it breaks my heart. I try not to let any tears fall coz i dont want them to see how bad & weak i am feeling right now. I am still in the state of shock and just as what my kuya said earlier... my emotions are still high. It's true. I am still in the verge of tears whenever i am alone, i am thinking, or whenever i am not doing anything. And as much as i want to focus on what is happening at tge moment, i can't help but missed out something. It feels like i am not myself. It's crazy coz my attention just shuts off and i keep zoning out. And before i went to bed, i learned that Umpe is nanghihina daw. Nagsuka sya. Ang sakit malaman na wala akong magawa for her. Tawa ako ng tawa kanina, smile ng smile, salita ng salita nung nasa school and after school. Pero ang Umpe ko masama na pala ang lasa. Ang sakit kasi hindi ko alam kung anu na tlga ang nangyayari. Everytime na i try to get on track, some unwanted stuff comes up. All i am asking lang naman is for Umpe to get better and be healthy again. I know i am asking for too much. But i swear, she doesnt deserve this illness. She deserves to live longer and happier. Please God, wag nio pa hayaang manghina ang Umpe. Tulungan nio po sya. Make her stronger and healthier. Please be with her. Please send the Holy Spirit and some angels next to her para po hindi sya mahirapan. Please make her better. Please dear God. Umpe, be strong! I love you and I will continue praying for you. Kukulitin ko si God na pagalingin ka nya. I love you Umpe ko, always and forever.
