Every Cybertronian In Tfp Is Just Like.

every cybertronian in tfp is just like.

hello. I am HOMELESS. i am GAY. i have DUMB BITCH DISEASE. i am NEW IN TOWN,

🍉Data sources under the cut🍉

i remember watching the orion pax arc for the first time half convinced we'd get to the end and find out optimus deserved a fucking oscar because he was faking to infiltrate the ranks (idk why i was sure there'd be some kind of purpose tho) and like that didnt happen but im just fuckin thinking about optimus fuckin sitting there listening to megatron straight up lie to him about ratchet of all people destroying cybertron like [pretends to be surprised]

this is also funny because its like the whole "hey why are we called decepticons?" question would have just been to find out what the son of a bitch would come up with. just asking to find out what bullshit he'll say to cover his ass. megatron opens up the """files he was decoding"""" and all he sees is the cybertronian equivalent of "👌 lol"

So what if Ratchet /died/?

*chinhands*

Considering that my Ratchet is currently dying in my thread with Pupu, it suddenly gave me an idea…

Ghost!AU. 

The ghost of the deceased Autobot medic wrecks havoc during the war on Earth. 

Now that Ratchet no longer needs to sleep, he will do anything to help and all kinds of shenanigans occur. 

Random cube of high grade appears next to Optimus or Bumblebee out of thin air.

Some odd text appears on the monitor of the console that turns out to being a hint to where to look for the next relic (or whatever intel they happen to need in that moment).

A wrench appearing from nowhere and smacking Bulkhead directly in the helm.

Wheeljack’s high grade stash is suddenly emptying at an alarming rate and someone pasted Ultra Magnus’ head on every bot in his old issues of the Playbot. 

Smokescreen comes across Ratchet’s own secret stash of porn and just before he’s about to self service to them, the lights go out, the door slams shut and the datapads all mysteriously blow up. (Poor kid’s probably forever traumatized from touching himself again.)

Odd siren noises in the middle of the night for no reason except it’s just a very unhappy and frustrated ghost with nothing to do. 

If OP had hair they’d be turning grey at this point bc of the very graphic lustful dreams he starts having all of a sudden (starring Ratchet, to no-one’s surprise) and OP wakes up every morning with sore chest plates and feeling completely spent, but relaxed. He has never been more eager to go to recharge in time.

Bumblebee is sad and missing Ratchet, when suddenly he feels someone gently hugging him but no-one’s there.

For some odd reason Miko’s guitar or boombox simply refuse to work inside the silo. They work perfectly outside.

Arcee sneaks on the Nemesis and a certain ghost follows. Except he stays and infects their entire datanet like a virus. Soundwave will have a run for his money, because you can’t block a virus that isn’t /data/. Suddenly all their secrets and plans start leaking to the Autobots, and all kinds of weird shenanigans occur. 

Megatron isn’t able to sleep in his quarters because glowing eyes staring at him in the corner. Whenever he does manage to sleep, it’s all nightmares of himself watching Optimus and Ratchet doing the vertical tango

Starscream starts getting anonymous love letters from a secret admirer and it is implied to be either Megatron or Soundwave. Starscream can’t decide which is more horrifying. 

Knockout wakes up every day to a different graffiti decorating his plating. He still hasn’t discovered the one on his aft that says “Let’s Play Doctor”.

Something possesses Raf’s laptop and somehow the government starts receiving detailed up-to-date reports on Decepticon activity and some nicely worded threats to increase Outpost Omega-1′s funding for better equipment and resources.

If it was Ratchet fed up with everyone’s shit when alive, it’s everyone being fed up with Ratchet’s shit now

but it’s not all bad bc Megatron begged to surrender after just a couple of months bc half his crew had tried to offline themselves and Ratchet finally got his revenge

jHDFKHGLDFHGDL

WHY. IS. THIS. NOT. A .THING.

This panel is so cute

the only two ways i can categorize height is if i see something tall i go 'woah, big boy man' and if i see something short i go 'hah.. baby man' and idk what to blame for this. anyway wanna hear about the times ghosts have touched my ass