Ihavenoideawhatimdoing69420 - Ahdidfnfnfud

alluka: onii-chan doesn't even know yet!

insp: x x x x

anytime atsushi gets excited his tail pops out and wags but no one tells him becuz they think its funny to see atsushi try and pretend he's not excited and act nonchalant

atsushi is genuinely surprised and confused how everyone always knows what he wants or wants to do

dazai, kunikida, and atsushi coming back from a mission

kunikida, noticing atsushi looking at an ice cream stall: atsushi do u want ice cream

atsushi: oh i dont care either way! if u and dazai san want to then...

dazai: i dont re-

kunikida and dazai staring at atsushi's wagging tail:

dazai: ooh~ kunikida-kun~ how kind~ to offer us ice cream~

kunikida: as if bastard! i'll buy it for atsushi but ur a grown ass man

dazai: if only i had a tail :(

atsushi: what

dazai: what

atsushi:

//

like that

yosano: how did u choose a gift for atsushi? theres so many things i could get... since he's not used to owning much

ranpo: my genius deductive skills obviously

yosano:

ranpo: okay fine i chose like 10 and mentioned them to him subtly and bought the one he wagged his tail for the most

yosano:

yosano: oh shit u are a genius

ranpo: why r u acting surprised

//

atsushi: cant believe i have to work with you again,,, why do we always have to see each other ugh

akutagawa, staring (like wan staring) at atsushi's wagging tail:

//

bet atsushi never takes time off becuz idk he doesn't think he can - like he knows he can but he also doesn't think he can

that doesn't make sense but i hope u get it

anyway he never requests time off - he's only not there if he's sick (and was bullied into resting) or something like he personally never puts in the request

if there's some festival or event or anything that anyone thinks atsushi would want to go and would go if not for work they let the boss man know

fukuzawa: atsushi, you haven't taken much time off, but it's good to take a break now and then. if you want, you can have monday and tuesday off. (which weirdly is the exact time that that one event u wanted to go to is on but obviously thats just a coincidence)

atsushi, tail wagging: oh that's alright

fukuzawa: i insist.

//

what else hmmmmmmmm

kyouka: atsushi, do you want me to make that dish again? you liked it right?

atsushi: oh i did! but you dont have to if you dont want to! i mean if you do you totally can

kyouka, staring at his tail: i'll make it

//

junichiro, after coming back from a longer mission:

atsushi: heyyy we didn't see each other all day!

junichiro, trying not to show how touched he is becuz atsushi's tail is wagging, showing how happy he is:

and so on

someone: whats ur type?

atsushi: hmm not too tall or short... dark hair... dark eyes... goth maybe... wears dark colors but can pull off white...stabby... cares about sibling... hm what else... likes long dramatic coats...murdery... mafia-

akutagawa, holding a tendril of rashomon to atsushi's throat, pissed: my sister?

atsushi: no you fucking moron

akutagawa:

akutagawa, concerned: if not my sister... jinko whoever it is must have lied about being in the mafia as i cannot recall anyone else meeting that description

atsushi:

akutagawa, genuinely worried and a little flustered at being so: you should... avoid the liar... if they are dishonest... they arent worth your time

atsushi:

team yangchen incorrect quotes

Yangchen: Time for plan G. Kavik: Don’t you mean plan B? Yangchen: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Yingsu: What about plan D? Yangchen: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Akuudan: What about plan E? Yangchen: I’m hoping not to use it. Kavik dies in plan E. Jujinta: I like plan E.

yangchen: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. kavik: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

*Yangchen's helping Yingsu out after they get injured, while the others are watching* Kavik: How does Yingsu look? Jujinta: A little better than you, actually.

Yangchen: Can I be frank with you guys? Kavik: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Yingsu: Can I still be Yingsu? Jujinta: Shh, let Frank speak.

Yangchen: I made tea. kavik: I don’t want tea. Yangchen: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. kavik: Then why are you telling me? Yangchen: It is a conversation starter. kavik: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Yangchen: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Yangchen: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday Yingsu: Wednesay Yangchen: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

Yangchen: A theif. Kavik: Thief? Yangchen: Theif. Kavik: I before E, except after C. Yangchen: Thceif. Yangchen: No.

Jujinta: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Kavik: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

Yangchen: If you had to choose between Kavik and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Jujinta: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Kavik: Jujinta! Yangchen: 63 cents. Jujinta: I'll take the money. Kavik: JUJINTA!!!

Yingsu: Why are you on the floor? Kavik: I'm depressed. Kavik: Also I was stabbed, can you get Yangchen, please.

Yangchen: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three- Yangchen and Kavik, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks! Yingsu: Our turn, jujinta! One, two, three- vanilla! jujinta, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Yangchen: Is stabbing someone immoral? Yingsu: Not if they consent to it. Jujinta: Depends who you’re stabbing. Kavik: YES?!?

Kavik: You know those things will kill you, right? Yangchen, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point. Yingsu, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process. jujinta: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Chuuya: look, whoever upset Kenji just come forward and you'll be forgiven

*complete silence*

Chuuya, smirking: smart, cause I would've killed you at sight

atsushi gets super clingy when he's drinking like the first time the ada took him out for drinks, dazai and kunikida could not move because atsushi was holding them so tightly and he finally, tearfully, allowed kunikida to leave because kunikida had to use the bathroom only to jump across the table and hold onto to junichiro (dragging dazai with him), when they finally left and took him home, they had to claw him off ranpo and even then it only worked because since it was his first time drinking, yosano was going to stay with him just in case

anyway, after the first time, the ada just get used to it and it no longer registers to them as anything but normal

akutagawa and atsushi aren't even tentative friends yet before akutagawa runs into tipsy atsushi and ends the night with an armful of atsushi that wont let go no matter how much he pokes and prods but thats a different story lmao

higuchi: sir... why is the agency's weretiger curled up on your lap

akutagawa: he went drinking with his friends.