First And Last

First and Last

Click here for my masterlist.

Prompts -  'Home is not where you are from, it is where you belong. Some of us travel the whole world to find it. Others find it in a person.’

Though it was tempting to steal a glance you kept your eyes locked ahead of you, watching as the jedi and his droid walked away, watching as Grogu’s eyes never left Din as he was carried away before he finally disappeared from view. You stepped forward silently, taking Din’s hand in yours and giving it a gentle squeeze, resting your head on his shoulder and feeling how it shook with silent tears. 

It was tempting to turn to him, to look into his eyes, to cup his cheeks and wipe his tears away but you didn’t. You let your head rest on the beskar covered shoulder, let your eyes fall shut and tried to suppress your own tears. 

It would have been easy to sneak a glance at the man you had fallen hard for but you didn’t. It wasn’t the time and no part of you wanted the memory of you finally seeing Din’s face, should such a day ever come, to be spoiled by the memory of losing Grogu, the child both you and Din had come to love.

You don’t know how long the two of you stood there, staring at the empty space in front of you but eventually it was time to move on.

Din had shoved his helmet back on and hadn’t taken it off again since. The two of you travelled the galaxy together, Din took bounties and you went along with him. The man almost seemed shocked when you said you were staying with him, like he had already prepared himself to lose you too.

The thought of leaving Din, especially after he had just lost his child, didn’t even occur in your mind. Sure the main reason you had joined the Clan of Two to begin with was to help Din reunite Grogu with his own kind but after spending so much time in close quarters with the man it wasn’t surprising when you started to fall for him. It took a long time before Din finally opened up to you, trusting you more and more as each day passed.

Din had never known such a feeling in his life, the way his entire body seemed to warm as he watched you with Grogu, whether it be the three of you in the cockpit of the Razor Crest, Grogu on your lap and you telling him stories so animatedly, eyes as bright as the stars passing by through the windows or listening to you as you spoke clear Basic in an attempt to pull some words from the child, watching as Grogu beamed up at you but ultimately only let out cheerful coos. The way you were with his child definitely helped him warm up to you quicker but there was no doubting Din had started to develop feelings for you and it had terrified him.

He had always been on his own, never getting this close to another person before. If someone had told Din before he met Grogu that he’d have a child and fall for someone like you he would have laughed, never once believing he could have something like this, never once wanting or thinking he needed it. Of course it was easy to think you didn’t need something until you had it and now the thought of losing you pained Din so deeply, a hole already in his heart from losing Grogu…he was really glad you had shot him an unimpressed look the day he asked you whether you wanted to leave.

Time passed and the pain of missing Grogu never seemed to dull but the two of you found a way to live with it. At first Din had drawn in on himself. The man was never particularly vocal but as he became more comfortable around you, he initiated conversations, he asked questions and looked forward to learning any of your story but after Grogu he hardly spoke unless you did first and even then, at least in the first month or two, the only response you received was grunts and huffs.

You let the man mourn though, never rushed him or forced him to be anything he couldn’t. You stood by and watched as he took bounty after bounty, seemingly becoming more and more reckless like he didn’t care what happened to him. You’d lost track at this point of how many times you’d had to patch up avoidable injuries and eventually started going with him and fighting alongside him.

You were the one to find a new ship for the two of you, whilst you were willing to let Din heal however he needed to, you couldn’t deal with travelling with the general public. Din had hated the new ship at first, shaking his head and muttering how you didn’t need it. You knew nothing would ever replace the Razor Crest and Din knew you were only trying to help so reluctantly began to pilot it.

It took time but eventually Din began speaking first, starting with a quiet ‘good morning’ that was just about picked up by the modulator. The smile that spread across your face had his lips twitching into the ghost of a smile though he didn’t quite let it take form. 

He sat in the pilot's seat one morning and let his thoughts wander, he knew he wasn’t being fair to you, knew that shutting you out wouldn’t make the pain he felt better. In fact you were probably one of the few people in the galaxy that he felt like he could talk to, one of the few people that would sit there for as long as it took for him to work through his thoughts and find the words that summed up how he was feeling.

He knew why he was ignoring you, of course he did. He had gotten so attached to Grogu, came to love him like he was his own child and he had always known that Grogu was never his to keep, Grogu’s own future far more important than anything Din could offer. Still, losing him felt like he had been torn in two, it left him feeling empty and it was hard to remember a time before Grogu where he thrived in his isolation, where he didn’t notice how truly lonely he was.

It wasn’t only Grogu he had gotten attached to though. Just like how the child had wormed his way past the beskar armour and into his heart, you had too. You had come along one day and stolen Din’s heart and it terrified the man, terrified him so much that he had done what he was doing now, shut you out entirely. For weeks he barely spoke to you and if he did it was only short one word answers or grunts but it didn’t stop him watching you, gaze hidden by the helmet. His eyes followed every move you made, memorised every feature on your face. 

Without noticing it he had learned to live with his feelings for you, slowly returning to normal, if not more willing to be open with you, to answer your questions about Mandalorian culture, to tell you stories about his life, to let you in in a way no other person had ever been. It was terrifying to Din but it was also easy once he stopped fighting his feelings, it was easy to fall for you.

But now, now he had lost Grogu and his thoughts ran wild, convincing himself that eventually he would lose you too. Sure you had told him you were staying with him, swore you weren’t leaving but it was only a matter of time and Din was only running on half a heart as it was, he wasn’t sure he’d survive you leaving with the other half.

And so instead of talking about it with you, instead of confessing all his fears and secrets, he pushed you away, kept you at arm’s length even though it killed him, even though he knew you were hurting too. 

Without realising it he had pulled the silver ball out of his pocket and had begun to fiddle with it, so lost in thought he didn’t hear the door to the cockpit open or you sit down in the seat next to him until you cleared your throat. 

“Sorry,” He mumbled, shaking his head as he clenched the ball in his fist and turned to face you. 

Despite the fact that Din could tell you hadn’t been sleeping properly he still thought you looked more beautiful each time he saw you and longed for something more between the two of you, longed to cup your face in his hands, to trace every feature and memorise every inch of you. He wanted to feel your lips against his and sometimes got the overwhelming urge to say rangir (to hell with it) and lift the helmet up enough to bring your lips together, to be done with the helmet all together.

Even though things had gotten better between the two of you there was still a tension in the air as though you were constantly tip-toeing around each other, never sure what the right thing to say was. Din hated it, he hated that his own isolation, his own actions, had caused you to drift apart. 

He knew he had to right things between you, wanted to more than anything but he wasn’t very good with words, he never needed to be when he could talk with a blaster and his fists. Unfortunately this wasn’t a situation he could punch his way out of and the only option was to push past his own unease and talk to you.

He couldn’t live the rest of his life regretting not telling you how much you meant to him, how much he needed you…how much he loved you. 

“You okay?” You asked him, voice soft as to not disturb his thoughts. 

He couldn’t help but plead with you from behind the helmet, eyes wide and swimming with too many emotions, begging for you to read his thoughts, to know what he wanted to say but couldn’t get out but he knew it wasn’t possible, knew he needed to say something.

“Yooba solus mesh’la.” Din told you, voice just as quiet as yours had been but the words didn’t sound as soft as they had leaving his lips through the modulator and yet Din watched as your entire face seemed to light up, a beaming smile spreading across your lips at the use of Mando’a.

Before the Jedi had taken Grogu and it was just the three of you travelling together in the Razor Crest, you had convinced Din to speak Mando’a, both you and Grogu taking great delight in hearing the language neither of you could understand come from Din. You had always tried to speak the language along with him, repeating his words though you had yet to not butcher a single one of them much to Din’s delight, hiding soft smiles behind the helmet, feeling himself fall a little more in love with you as you stumbled over the words. 

Hearing Din speak Mando’a, after what felt like an entire lifetime ago now, almost took your breath away and you couldn’t have stopped the smile that spread across your face if you tried, eyes meeting his despite the helmet covering them.

“Youba soleus meshla?” You repeated and the sound of Din’s chuckle caused your smile to widen even more, verging on almost painful but you didn’t care.

It had been so long since things felt this light between the two of you, you planned on savouring every second of it.

“Not quite,” He said and you didn’t need to see his face to know he was smiling, you could hear it clear as day in his voice even despite the modulator. 

“What does it mean?” You asked, tilting your head questioningly and Din’s heart felt like it was about to beat right through his chest and the beskar covering it.

A beat or two of silence passed between the two of you as you waited patiently for Din to translate Mando’a into Basic but the wait was worth it when he finally did.

“You are beautiful.” He told you, voice soft and hesitant and his eyes watching your face closely, waiting for a reaction.

He didn’t have to wait long though, your reaction was instantaneous, eyes widening as you looked over at him with such open warmth and, dare he say, love. The grin that was spread across your face softened into a smile and your own heart began beating loudly enough that you thought Din could hear it from where he sat.

“Din,” You said softly but the man cut you off, needing to continue before he lost all nerve and retreated from you again.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, a million things he’d like to say to you ran through his head but getting them out of his mouth was easier said than done. “I don’t want another day to pass where you don’t know that, where I don’t tell you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, I’m sorry I pushed you away because I couldn’t deal with my own pain. Yooba solus ner aliit and I can’t lose you too.” 

If Din’s eyes became teary under the helmet, nobody had to know.

He watched you closely, watched as your face seemed to soften even more so than it already was, watched as you reached over and took his clenched fist in your hand, the ball falling onto his lap as he let his fingers curl around yours.

“Yooba solus nair alit?” You asked softly, voice filled with more emotions than Din could make out, hopeful and overwhelmed being the main two he picked up on.

“You are my family.” He told you, his own voice thick with slight fear and hope.

You let out a small huff of laughter as your own eyes filled with tears, not having the luxury of the helmet to hide them from the man in front of you. Din didn’t take it as a bad sign, instead he lifted his free hand up and placed it against your face, cupping your cheek in the palm of his hand and brushing away a single stray tear that slipped out of your eye.

He hesitated for only a moment, half a moment really, before he leaned across, coming closer to you and let his helmet-covered forehead connect with yours, watching as you looked up at him from under your eyelashes. 

“Is this a Mandalorian thing?” You asked in a soft whisper after several moments of silence had passed, feeling like something significant was happening right now despite not knowing exactly what it was.

“Elek,” he murmured, causing you to laugh softly and Din to fall a little bit more in love, “Because Mandalorian don't take their helmets off, this is how they kiss.”

You didn’t move for a moment but when you did Din almost melted as you lifted your free hand to cup the helmet, letting your thumb brush just below the visor. Din couldn’t recall a time where he had wanted to take the helmet off so much, to feel your hand on his cheek, to be able to press a kiss to your palm before placing one against your lips. 

It was almost overwhelming to see the warmth, the happiness, the love in your eyes. Din could have looked away, you would never have known if he did but despite how breathless your gaze was leaving him, he couldn’t bring himself to look anywhere else. 

He let his hand wander down until it rested against your jaw, his thumb brushing against your lower lip and the final straw for him seemed to be feeling you smile against him, feeling the way your lips shifted into a soft smile as you continued to look at him like he was the only person in the world.

“Close your eyes.” He commanded softly, watching as your eyebrows knitted together but you didn’t question him. 

He watched as your eyes fell shut, lifting his hand again to brush his thumb against one of your closed lids before he pulled away completely, taking the hand that was still holding yours away too.

Taking the helmet off felt easier than he thought, there was a swell of guilt in his chest but it was drowned by the absolute love and adoration he felt for you. He knew even with the guilt that he wouldn’t regret his decision, not when it meant he could finally feel your lips against his.

He raised his hand to cup your cheek again, unable to stop the smile that pulled at his lips as you leaned into the touch. He only hesitated for a moment, removing the helmet in front of someone wasn’t something he did lightly meaning he had never kissed anyone and he had never been more glad in that moment, his first kiss would be with you and he knew he would never have another first kiss again.

You were it for him, his first and last.

You gasped when you felt lips against yours, just about managing to keep your eyes closed. Din moved in a way that told you he had little to no experience though it didn’t shock you, you couldn’t help but smile into the kiss before moving your lips together, feeling every cliché you had ever read or heard about.

The kiss wasn’t rushed, the two of you took the time to memorise the way your lips moved against each other, your hands cupping the other’s face, one of yours moving into Din’s hair and you had to stop yourself from pulling back, from opening your eyes and savouring every detail of the man in front of you.

It was tempting but you didn’t open them, you kept them shut as he pulled away. You kept them shut as he rested his forehead on yours, as he took in every piece of you, smiling as you followed his lips to peck them once, twice more. 

“Youba soleus meshla.” You told him, feeling his smile widen as you repeated the words from earlier, messing up each of them but he loved the sound of Mando’a leaving your lips all the same.

Never had the language sounded more lovely.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.” He told you, unable to stop the words from coming out of his mouth and finding he didn’t regret them. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.” He repeated and he swore to himself he’d repeat those words every day for the rest of his life if he was lucky enough to have you for that long.

“What does that mean?” You asked him, fingers still tracing the features of his face and Din felt them stop as he translated the words for you. 

“I love you.” He whispered, he whispered them so softly that if you weren’t this close to him you would have missed them entirely but you heard them and couldn’t help but freeze for a moment. For so long you’d known you were in love with Din, knew that you were completely gone for him months into knowing him but you never once dared to think he could feel the same way about you.

Despite the kiss, despite the fact he was in front of you, your hands on his helmetless face, hearing him say those words seemed to overwhelm you the most and you couldn’t stop yourself from pressing another kiss to his lips, this one more hurried, more desperate as if you were trying to convey every feeling you felt into that one kiss.

“I love you too,” You whispered as you pulled away, only to lean back in for another kiss as soon as the words were spoken, “Nee kartay gar darsum.” You whispered again, the words like a prayer falling from your lips and Din’s smile grew even wider, too wide to kiss you again and instead he opted to bump your foreheads together softly.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, cyar’ika.” He told you, meaning the words with his entire being, never being more sure of anything in his life and promising himself he would show you every day just how much he meant it.

____________

Din Djarin Taglist -

New character, click here to add yourself💜

Holding On & Letting Go

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Angstember Prompt - "I really hope you get her someday."

Even at eleven years old you knew James Potter was going to be an important person in your life. Of course back then you were only young, you didn’t know what lay ahead during your seven years at Hogwarts but you knew there was something about James Potter, something about the confident eleven year old who took one look at the scared muggle born girl on her own and immediately ushered her into his cart and walked next her to get sorted.

You remembered that day so clearly, almost like time hadn’t passed. You remembered James helping you adjust to magic, helping you with whatever you were confused with without hesitation. You remembered how James had dragged you outside, insisting that one of the best things about magic was flying, remembered how he had grinned as you refused to mount the broom only to compromise with you and before you knew it you were on a broom, James behind you as you went on your first flight.

You had years’ worth of fond, happy memories attached to James. For the first few years at Hogwarts there were no bad memories, sure the two of you had arguments but they were resolved before the day was over. You and James were attached at the hip, it was rare to be seen without the other, and so it didn’t surprise Remus when you told him at the beginning of fifth year that you had a crush on the boy.

You’d liked him for a while now, half way through third year you realised you liked him more than a friend but you hadn’t been too concerned with trying to figure out your feelings at thirteen. Now however you were fifteen, everyone around you was getting into relationships and you’d had years to think about what your feelings for James meant.

You also had a year of watching James’ crush on Lily Evans, watching as he made an idiot out of himself over and over again in an almost desperate attempt to capture her attention. Whilst Sirius laughed and encouraged it, you sat on the sidelines, a feeling in the pit of your stomach you couldn’t quite place but ignored as best you could. 

Fifth year came along and James hadn’t been as focused on Lily, instead he reigned himself in, offering up polite conversation to the girl but not much else. That was when you had confessed to Remus your feelings for James, knowing the boy would never share your conversation with him but still feeling like speaking the words aloud would cause something to shift. 

Remus had smiled at you, encouraged you to tell James how you felt, confident James felt the same for you. At first you had been adamantly against Remus’ advice, not wanting to mess up the dynamic you had with James but one night, long after everyone else had gone to bed and you and James had snuck out to lay out by the lake, looking up at the stars you had whispered your feelings to him.

The few seconds of silence that passed after your confession were torturously slow but then James had turned to you with a soft smile and asked you to go with him to Hogsmeade that weekend and you felt a weight you hadn’t known was there fall from your shoulders. 

From there it was easy dating James, the two of you already spent most of your time together anyway and five years of being friends made it feel like you knew everything about the other. There was no awkward getting to know each other phase, no uncomfortableness, it felt like nothing had changed except now you finally got to kiss him. 

It was easy to ignore at first. For the first few months of your relationship with James it was easy to get lost in him, so absorbed by the happiness you felt that you didn’t even realise it at first, not until the whispers around you got louder and the sympathetic looks multiplied. 

That’s when you noticed James’ straying eyes, the way he‘d leave your side and you’d spot him sitting with Lily or how even when she wasn’t involved in the conversation her name still somehow managed to get brought up.

You wanted to continue to ignore, to just remain oblivious and not have to deal with it and despite feeling like an idiot that’s exactly what you did. You refused to acknowledge any feelings James might have towards Lily, refused to listen as people told you it was only a matter of time before the two of them became a thing. If you went to bed with tears in your eyes some nights, having to share a room with the girl you were sharing James’ affection with then nobody had to know.

Just because his feelings for Lily had seemingly returned, or more accurately never left but had been buried for a while, didn’t mean he was any less involved with you. He was still there with you every day, still held your books, walked you to class, snuck the two of you out of the castle and asked you on dates. He still spent his nights with you tucked under his arm in front of the fire and smiled at you like he always had.

It almost made you wonder, one night alone in bed, if he was even aware of his own feelings for Lily, if he realised just how much he liked her. That’s when you paused, your breathing stopping for a second before you sucked in a sharp breath. What you and James had was comfortable, it was familiar, it reminded you of home when you were in his arms and you had to wonder if he felt the same. Surely he couldn’t, right? No matter how much you wanted to believe otherwise you had spent months ignoring the fact that when he walked into a room his gaze seemed to land on Lily before it did you.

The realisation had your heart breaking and you felt the tears sliding down your cheeks as you tried to muffle your cries. You had fallen for James, loved him as a best friend and as a boyfriend, though you’d yet to admit that one out loud, and you knew, no matter what happened between you and James, you knew he would never want to hurt you.

Somehow, even with the ache in your chest, you managed to fall asleep that night dreading your date to Hogsmeade the next morning.

The two of you sat opposite each other at a small table by the window, drinks in hand as you half-heartedly listened to James rambling on, your thoughts still very much still on the same train of thought as they had been last night.

“Hey,” James called softly, gaining your attention as he touched your hand, “you alright?” 

You were silent for a moment, completely unsure about how to answer that question. You knew your relationship with James was over at that point, if you were being honest it had been over for a long time but even now you were hesitant to admit it, hesitant to bring it to attention but you knew you needed to. 

At the end of the day James was still your best friend, even if that would sting for a while, and you had only ever what was best for him. If Lily Evans was what was best for him, or at least what he thought was best for him, then who were you to stand in the way?

Still it didn’t mean your heart wasn’t shattered.

Just as you opened your mouth to answer him you watched as his eyes flickered to the side, over to where the door was. Without needing to look you already knew who had just walked into The Three Broomsticks, you watched as James’ face lit up, a smile tugging unconsciously at his lips as his eyes followed her and still you turned your head slightly so you could see her, feeling your own eyes fill with tears.

Resignation was clear on your face even as your eyes fell closed to stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. You took a breath before turning back to James whose gaze was on you again, concern written across his features.

“I really hope you get her someday.” You told him shakily, two tears trailing down your right cheek as you spoke.

Those weren’t exactly the words you thought you were going to use to start this conversation but ultimately they seemed right. Despite how much your heart ached, despite how much you wished it was you he wanted to be with, at the end of the day all you wanted was him happy.

You watched as the concern on James' face turned to confusion, his eyebrows knitting together as he tilted his head. 

“What?” He finally asked, his confusion just as clear in his tone as it was on his face.

“You like her, James.” You told him, watching as his eyes widened as they moved to look at Lily again before he turned back to you, shaking his head as he did. “It’s ok, I’ve known for a long time I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“I like you, Y/N/N.” He told you firmly, sounding like he truly believed those words and you didn’t doubt it.

“I know,” You told him, a smile making its way onto your face despite the fact that more and more tears seemed to fall from your eyes. ‘I know you do but I’m not her.” Your voice broke as you spoke, the words had you fighting back more tears.

“Y/N,” James tried again but you shook your head.

“Your whole face lights up when she so much as enters a room and when she talks to you, Merlin’s beard, I’ve never seen you smile brighter. I wish it was me, James, believe me I wish more than anything I was the one who could make you that happy but I’m not and I love you so much that I just want you to be happy…even if it’s not with me.” As you spoke you had to pause, needing to take a shaky breath as the tears continued to pour from your eyes.

James’ eyes widened at the love confession casually thrown into the speech, something you hadn’t even meant to let slip out but didn’t regret. They weren’t spoken to make him feel back but more so because you wanted him to know, know how much he meant to you and how much you really didn’t want there to be any hatred between the two of you.

You watched his eyes drift over towards Lily again before he looked to you, looking equally as heartbroken as you felt.

“I love you, you know that right?” He asked you, eyes pleading with you to know he was being honest and you couldn’t help but laugh softly despite the tears as you nodded.

“I know you do, baby,” you whispered, laugh fading into a shaky smile and you watched as James’ own eyes became watery, “just not like how you love her.” 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N/N.” He apologised, words shaky and broken as he reached out and took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

“I know you are.” You said again, squeezing his hand back and watching as a tear fell down his cheek. “I meant it, you know.”

“Meant what?” He asked, the two of you keeping your voices low as you spoke.

“I really do hope you get her.” You told him and watched his eyes shut as he shook his head, opening them to look at you with wide, apologetic eyes. 

Before James had the chance to reply you brought his hand up to your lips and pressed a gentle, barely there kiss to the skin before letting it fall back to the table and giving it a final squeeze. With that you pulled away from him and stood up, watching as his face seemed to crumble even more as he watched you.

He opened his mouth as if to say something more but seemed to decide against it as it fell closed. Instead he forced a shaky smile onto his face as more tears made their way down his cheeks. You smiled back at him, feeling too many emotions to make sense of as you turned away from him and out of the inn, ignoring the looks people sent you, not even caring about what a state you’d look like now with tears still falling down your face.

As you began your walk back to the castle alone you knew, despite how much you were hurting right now, despite how much you wanted to curl up in your room and cry until everything felt better, you knew you had done the right thing, not only for James but for yourself. 

For months you’d let your relationship continue despite knowing about his feelings for Lily, all because you weren’t ready to let him go. You still weren’t ready to be without him in all honesty but you knew it wasn’t fair to yourself to stay with somebody who wasn’t as all in as you were.

You would always love James Potter, it seemed impossible that there was a universe out there that could exist without you loving him. Even if you had to do the hardest thing and let him go it didn’t mean you loved him any less, Merlin, it probably showed you loved him more, the fact you were willing to let him go, willing to put his own happiness above your own. You would always love James Potter, it was just one of the many facts of life, even if he didn’t love you back, even if it meant watching him with another girl, your love for him would never fade.

____

James Potter Taglist /

@haroldpotterson, @rottenstyx, @asherhunterx, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair,  @j-cat, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @chickensrule,@rosaliedepp, @ppgrayson, @onyourgoddamnleft,  @divanca2006, @silverose365, @tc-blossom, @mystic-writings, @touchdeprivedwh0re, @alexxavicry,  @alwaysclassyeagle, @carmellasworld, @labellapeaky, @maeve-7,  @serrendiipty, @father-violet,  @izzyyy-1,  @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1, @mrslizzyolsen, @idli-dosa, @eichenhouseproperty, @lovelyvante, @siriusstwelveyears, @daisyfreshwhore, @polyglot-noodle, @bubsonnobx , @f-sant, @fairydxll

Lucky

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Requsted - No, just wanted to write for Matt because we've finally got him back

Prompts -  'I'll be there to patch you up.'

You thought the day your whole life had changed was the day you woke up with superpowers, strange abilities that allowed you to not only move things with your mind but also let you move faster and jump higher, abilities you’d realised and nearly had a heart attack over when you ended up on top of your building and nearly ran into a wall at the new speed. Not only that but you always seemed to know the next move your opponent would make, a perk of your powers that you hadn’t discovered you had until your first fight which you had won. At first you figured you were just lucky but after testing it out it seemed you couldn’t lose, though there had been times when you’d been up against more than one attacker at a time and were still working on focusing on more than one attack.

You remembered the day so clearly, waking up feeling strange, head bursting and your entire body felt like it was burning from the inside out. You remembered wanting the bottle of water on the other side of your room and then suddenly being slapped in the face with it. You remembered the fear and the excitement, you remembered thinking this was going to be the most life changing day of your life.

And it was but only partly. If you hadn’t had that day then you never would have had the other most life changing day. If you were to give people the choice between these two days and ask them which one was bigger, more life altering, they would have said, without a moment's hesitation, the day you got powers. You were different though, you loved your powers but loved them more because it led to meeting him.

It had been a chance meeting, the two of you both just happened to be in the same place at the same time. At first he had been annoyed at your presence but that hadn’t put you off, you had been tracking these people too, you knew how dangerous they were and how the man wrapped in black wouldn’t be able to take them alone.

The sigh he gave had you grinning at him as he relented and the two of you worked together like you’d been doing it your whole lives, fighting back to back, moving so in sync with one another that the others didn’t see you coming until it was too late. You could tell, after you had all the gang members tied and unconscious, that the man was ready to fight you on what to do with them, clearly not used to anyone agreeing with his methods but you cut him off before he could really start. 

You remembered his silence before he nodded towards you, telling you he would take care of it. You knew a dismissal when you heard one but hung around anyway, not wanting to leave just yet. You had just helped take down one of the worst gangs Hell’s Kitchen had and yet you stood nervously to the side, a question on the tip of your tongue but too hesitant to ask.

Eventually the man turned to you, his full attention on you and you were glad for the darkness of the night as you were sure you were blushing, who could blame you? A few hours with this man had you intrigued. His head tilted slightly, like he was hearing something you couldn’t and maybe he was, everyone had something these days. He had told you the police were coming, that the two of you should put as much distance between yourselves and the warehouse as possible. 

“Wait,” you had called out to him when he turned away. He had paused for a moment before turning his head to you, “we made a pretty good team back there.” 

“I guess we did.” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but grin at him. “I’ve never met a fighter like you, you didn’t miss a single hit.”

“What can I say, I’m pretty lucky.” You didn’t want him to leave but now even you could hear the sirens and knew he was right, you both had to go. “We should do this again.”

“I’m sure we’ll meet again,” He had told you and you wished he was right, pleaded with anyone that would listen that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw him. “See you around, Lucky.”

The memory still made you grin, the name, terrible as it was, still in place despite the fact that after months of knowing each other you had finally told him your name. He hadn’t shared his and after knowing the man for so long you hadn’t expected him to but hearing your name fall from his lips was the best thing you’d ever heard.

It hadn’t taken more than a month until your paths crossed again and from there, after a few more run-ins with each other, you started to work together. It began with you telling the Devil about a group that was trafficking girls and then he came to you about a notorious gang that had moved in from Brooklyn to Hell’s Kitchen. That particular one had taken a few weeks of working alongside each other and you were glad for it, not only because it led to the arrest of the gang, but because you got to spend days at a time with the man, learning things about him that he usually tried to keep guarded. 

It was safe to say in the months you’d known the masked man you had fallen for him quickly, from that very first night you’d known there was something about him, something intriguing telling you that you had to get to know him. You’d watched as he grew more confident, watched him go from doubting his decisions to being sure that he was doing the right thing. You’d watched as he left behind his black, defenceless outfit and replaced it for an outfit that was fit for the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. You watched as he became more and more comfortable with you until it was like the two of you had been friends since childhood.

The night started like any other, it was fairly quiet and you had no gangs to take down just yet so instead you sat on a rooftop, listening for any signs of trouble. You didn’t turn your head when you heard a soft thud to your right or when footsteps made their way over to you. After all this time you still didn’t know how he managed to find you wherever you were and whenever you asked him he would just smile at you, refusing to share his secrets. 

You hadn’t expected the Devil tonight, you knew he was working on taking down Fisk and hated that he wanted you out of it. He had begged you to stay away from Fisk, warned you of what a man like him was capable of, of what he had seen him do. You wanted to help the Devil but had to admit you were scared of Fisk, not only because of the Devil’s words but other people had plenty to say that all seemed to confirm what the Devil said.

It was only when the man didn’t say anything after a few moments that you turned to face him, a curse falling from your lips as you took in his busted lip and the way he was clutching at his side, blood on his hands despite the suit that was supposed to protect him though it looked worse for wear right now.

“What the hell happened?” You asked, already on your knees beside him and pulling his hand away to see the damage for yourself.

“You should see the other guys.” The man managed to choke out, somehow still managing to give you a charming grin despite the blood leaking from his lower lip.

You didn’t do more than shoot him an unimpressed look causing him to grin wider and cause more blood to pool from the cut. You manage to look through the damage made to the suit and saw a deep slash on the Devil’s side.

“It’s pretty bad,” You told him with a wince, knowing it was going to need some stitches. “Give me your cell, I’ll call your nurse.”

“She’s out of town.” The Devil chuckled though it cut off as he coughed, some blood leaking from his mouth as he did. “I’ll be fine.” He tried to assure you and your unimpressed expression didn’t shift as you let out a scoff.

“Sure you will. Come on, I’ll patch you up but I can’t promise it’ll be good.” You stood first, holding a hand out to help him up but he made no effort to move so with a sigh you focused and almost lost concentration when a laugh fell from your lips at the startled noise that left him as you lifted him from the ground with nothing but your mind, quickly wrapping him around you to help him stay upright.

Since jumping from the building wasn’t an option with the Devil’s current state you slowly made your way from the rooftop to the ground floor before having to practically carry him back to your apartment. Thankfully it wasn’t too far a walk but by the time you were putting the key in the door you were exhausted, sweat pooling on your forehead with the effort of carrying the man’s weight.

You got him settled on your bed and darted around the apartment, medical supplies never where they were supposed to be but eventually you were back in the bedroom, carefully removing the suit from his body which took a lot of effort on your half as the Devil himself just lay there, letting out groans of pain as you moved his body. 

“I’m sorry.” You said softly and even in his pained state he managed to send you a smile. You let your hand lift to his face, thumb brushing just below the cut of his lip causing him to wince. “I need to know if you hurt your head.” 

You wouldn’t take the mask off him, not without permission, not unless it was life or death and you knew he knew as much but you didn’t want to leave him with a head injury, if he was hurt you’d just have to figure out a way to work around the mask.

“Not my head,” He assured you, his own hand coming up to rest on yours, his thumb gently brushing across your knuckles. “Just my side.”

“You’re sure?” You asked and the Devil nodded causing you to sigh in relief before pulling your supplies closer and getting to work.

As you started in on the stitches the man winced causing you to freeze, you hadn’t had much experience stitching anyone up, a few times when you were in a real bind you’d had to stitch yourself but never another person.

“I’m sorry, I’ve only ever done this on myself.” You told him, watching as he groaned in pain. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

“You’re terrible at this.” The man told you through gritted teeth as you were halfway through the stitches, you wincing each time he did, not meaning to cause him more pain but you needed to stitch him up.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the Devil, quit complaining.” You told him, causing him to chuckle, the sound quickly being taken over by a groan as his side hurt even more.

“Matt,” He managed to say once the pain passed and you were so focused on his stitches that you almost missed the single word but when it registered your head shot up causing the needle to tug painfully at Matt’s skin causing him to cry in pain.

“I’m sorry!” You apologised for what felt like the fiftieth time. “I’m really sorry but in my defence that one was your fault.”

The man let out a sound that was a mix of a laugh and sob and you couldn’t help but huff as you finished the last few stitches, the man wincing his way through them. 

“So, Matt?” You said once you’d pulled away, looking down at the gauze covering the fresh stitches, hoping you’d never have to do that again.

“Y/N,” he replied, your name easily falling from his lips as he shifted on the bed, reaching for you. 

You let Matt take your hand in his, let him pull you down next to him on his uninjured side and tried desperately to slow your beating heart, knowing full well that the Dev- that Matt could hear it clear as day.

Matt lifted his hand to your face, knuckles gently grazing cheek before stopping at your lips, his thumb gently brushing your lower lip as you looked into the eyes of the mask.

“Thank you for patching me up.” He said softly, feeling the way your lips pulled into a smile. “Even if you did do an awful job at it.”

“Hey!” You protested with a soft laugh, knowing full well he was right. “See if I patch you up again the next time you come crying to me, Matt.”

At the sound of his name from you his smile widened and it was times like this you wished the mask wasn’t in your way. His smile was beautiful and you wished you could see the rest of his face, wished you could memorise and trace each feature.

“What happened tonight anyway?” You asked him quietly, knowing that it was Fisk related and Matt was always so hesitant to tell you about Fisk, not wanting you involved with it.

Matt shook his head, silent for long enough that you thought he was going to ignore the question entirely.

“I had a run in,” He told you, leaning down and letting his masked forehead rest against yours, close enough that you could feel his breath against your lips. “With Fisks’ men. I found out what I needed though, it should help with taking him down.”

“That day can’t come soon enough.” You muttered, smiling as Matt chuckled. “You’re doing the right thing, I’m proud of you.”

Matt was silent again, pulling back a small bit as if to see you better before he leaned back in again, this time closing the distance between the two of you, slotting your lips together as he kissed you softly.

You didn’t hesitate to kiss back, having been waiting for this moment for so long. Weeks after you’d met him you knew you had a crush on him but figured nothing would come of it, now you intended to savour this moment.

“Thank you.” Matt murmured against your lips as he pulled back, resting your foreheads together again and you reached a hand up, letting your fingers brush against his jawline, pulling him back in for another kiss.

When you pulled away Matt winced and your eyes fell to his lips, seeing blood pool at the cut there and you were quick to apologise but Matt cut you off with a grin that didn’t help the cut.

“It was worth it.” He told you causing you to roll your eyes before glancing down to the blanket that had gathered towards the end of the bed and you used your mind to bring the blanket up, watching as it wrapped itself around you and Matt causing the man to chuckle and pull you into his arms, feeling his eyes getting heavier as the exhaustion took over the adrenaline.

You smiled as you heard Matt’s breathing begin to even out, your own eyes falling shut on their own accord. You leaned up to press a gentle kiss to his jaw causing him to smile softly down at you, tightening his grip on you slightly.

“Goodnight Y/N.” He murmured, tucking you further under his chin.

“Goodnight Matt.” You replied just as soft, a wave of happiness running through you as you let yourself drift off in his arms.

__________

Matt Murdock Taglist -

@Janesofia7,  @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @runawaywithmyghost, @ppgrayson, @alexxavicry, @vx-vexedvixen, @battinsonn, @lokismidnight, @Benhardyslut, @baconlover001, @jasontoddthezombie, @qfton, @buckysnumberonegirl, @lazysheepperfection, @parkershoco, @call-me-a-fool, @father-violet, @multireader08, @whore4parker, @lizamango, @urbestgrrl, @lgranger67, @lazysheepperfection, @leniiiboiii, @morganaah, @sylvies4ever, @taylordidsomthingbad, @multifandomgirllol, @SadBlueBerry721, @freeshavocadoooo, @writeroutoftime, @loki-laufeysons-wife, @Srhxpci @jelliebeanss, @mrslizzyolsen, @kosmic-klouds, @inas-thing, @shatteredlovesick,@just-letmeread, @izzy-laufeyson, @eichenhouseproperty, @danzalladaggers, @ukai-hoe, @bxmaaa, @ack3rlev, i@lucyysthings,  @cwritesforfun

I See You In My Dreams

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Requsted - Yes, @pokey-hedgehog, I'm so sorry this took so long, hope you enjoy it🤎

Prompts -  Forehead kiss, sleepy hug, "I had a nightmare about you and I wanted to make sure you were okay." & "It'll be alright, it was just a nightmare."

You shot upright in your bed, head spinning at the speed in which you’d shifted from laying down to sitting up. The bedsheets moved with you, falling from your chest to gather around your waist as your fingers buried themselves into the fabric. You could hear the sound of your heart hammering in your chest, the sound seemingly echoing around the whole room and your breaths came out in quick little pants that made you even dizzier.

You knew it had been a nightmare, it was one version of the same nightmare you’d been having for months now, each time it ended the same way even if the events leading up to the outcome differed.

Usually you were able to calm down, able to control your breathing and ground yourself with reality. Usually waking up after this nightmare had you lying awake for an hour or so before you finally drifted off again but tonight was different.

Tonight your brain refused to cooperate with the rational side of things, the side that told you Frank was in the room right next to yours, alive and breathing. Logically you knew he was safe but there was a pit in your stomach, anxiety spreading through your whole body as flashes of Frank’s dead body filled your mind and tears began to fall down your cheeks.

Ever since Frank had unintentionally saved you from the gang you had been sold to years ago you had been in his care, no family to speak of and nowhere to call home. You knew at first Frank hadn’t expected you to live with him but after a few months he had confessed to you one night that he didn’t want you to leave, that you always had a space here, had a place that was home. 

Before he had told you that you were still keeping yourself closed off from the man, of course you soaked up his kind touches and soft words, things you hadn’t experienced in as long as you could remember, but you also didn’t want to get too attached, knowing the man would want you gone as soon as possible. Once he had told you he wanted you to stay things shifted between the two of you, you started seeking out his comfort without him needing to initiate it first, now if you were having a bad day you didn’t feel scared to curl up next to him with your head on his shoulder, waiting for his arm to wrap around you and pull you even closer and talk openly with him. 

Life with Frank was easy, it was nice, and you were so glad he had found you all those months ago.

He hadn’t had an easy time getting you out though, you knew every secret that the gang had, people were quite willing to speak around you, not seeing you as a person so much as a thing to be beat on and snapped at. Frank had you behind him, his jacket covering your body as he shot gang member after gang member. You were so relieved to be finally getting out, to see that these men couldn’t hurt you anymore but when one peaked out from his hiding spot, spotting Frank before Frank saw him and fired bullet after bullet you felt your heart stop and your blood run cold, tears falling faster down your face as you began to mourn both your freedom and the man who hadn’t hesitated to pull you out, to put himself between you and the rain of bullets.

In reality, Frank stumbled back with the force of the bullets but otherwise didn’t seem too concerned as he turned his own gun and fired it once, hitting the man straight away and you could only watch through shocked, bleary eyes as his body slumped to the ground lifelessly. When he moved forward but realised you weren’t following him he turned around in concern and you sobbed in relief as you saw the bullet proof vest, Frank’s eyes softening as he pulled you into his arms and led you out of the building, one hand cupping the back of your head to keep you buried against his chest and not able to see him kill more people. 

In your dreams it was always different versions of the same thing. Sometimes Frank didn’t have the protection of the bulletproof vest, sometimes the gunman aimed for Frank’s head, each time you were frozen to the spot, helpless to do anything but sink to your knees beside the lifeless body and sob into his chest. The dreams became more intense, more real, more terrifying the closer you got to Frank. Losing him when he had first taken you from the gang would have hurt but if it happened now you weren’t so sure you would recover.

Finally the overwhelming anxiety and fear became too much as your head produced image after image of Frank dead in a pool of his own blood and you had to pull yourself from the bed, every inch of your body shaking despite the fact that you felt like you were on fire and beads of sweat pooled on your forehead.

You quickly but quietly made your way out of your bedroom door and over to Frank’s. The door was already left half open, something you knew Frank did to let you know you were welcome at any time, something which you were immensely grateful for now as you slipped through the gap and into his room. 

It was still dark outside but the streetlights casted enough of a glow that you could see Frank lying in bed, unfortunately the blankets covered his chest so you couldn’t just quietly confirm that he was in fact still breathing and slip out again. Instead seeing him so still had more tears sliding down your face and your breathing quickening even though it was already impossibly fast already.

You stepped closer until your legs knocked against the bed and huffed a sigh of relief as Frank shifted before his eyes opened, heavy with sleep before they filled with concern and he sat up, immediately reaching for you, and pulling you down onto the bed with him, his arms wrapping around you and pressing you against his chest. Frank rocked the two of you back and forth in an attempt to calm you down but something about seeing that he was alright seemed to cause your sobs to louden and your breathing to become even more erratic.

“M’sorry, m’sorry,” You managed to choke out between sobs but the man just shushed you, continuing to rock you in his arms.

“None of that now, sweetheart.” Frank murmured, pressing his lips to your temple, and feeling how hot and sweaty the skin was. “You’re alright, I’ve got ya, I got ya, kid.” 

“I had a nightmare,” you sobbed into his chest, somehow forcing the words out even with how much your chest hurt from your sharp breaths, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m alright, kid, I’m right here, not going anywhere, you don’t gotta worry about that.” Frank told you softly but firmly as his heart ached at seeing his kid in such a state. 

“You’re okay?” You managed to ask again and Frank pulled you back far enough so you could see his face and the soft, comforting smile he gave you.

“I’m okay, ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.” He promised and with those words you sagged against him, Frank felt the tension leave you as you melted into him, gripping his shirt like it was your only lifeline. “Hey, you wanna copy my breathing for me? Deep breaths in and out for me, yeah just like that, attagirl,” Frank praised, feeling himself relax as your breathing finally began to slow into a normal rhythm. “That’s my girl, that’s my girl, good job, you’re okay, I got ya.” 

It felt like it had been hours but finally your breathing was steady, your chest still ached but you could breathe easier now and your sobs had slowed to sniffles as a result of the constant rocking and comforting words being whispered by Frank. 

Now you were just left feeling exhausted and drained, any bit of energy you had had simply disappeared but you still pulled back slightly, not going far but far enough so you could look up at Frank who gave you a soft smile, letting one of his hands come up to wipe at your cheeks softly.

“I saw you die.” You whispered, afraid that saying the words out loud would make them true but instead Frank’s smile widened a small bit and he shook his head.

“I ain’t dying on you, don’t gotta worry about that.” Frank assured you, using the hand on your cheek to guide your head towards him so that he could lean down slightly and press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead which you easily relaxed into, making no move to pull away until he did. “It’ll be alright, it was just a nightmare, you ain’t getting rid of me that easy.” 

The words pulled a laugh out of you that sounded strained but still made Frank’s face light up as he looked down at you and you pulled your arms from where they were trapped between your body and Frank’s to wrap them around his waist, Frank not even hesitating to wrap you in his arms again, holding you close.

You felt your eyes become heavy and found them falling shut as you hugged Frank, one of his hands running up and down your back in a way that made it even easier to relax into him and you couldn't help but cuddle further into him, a smile pulling at your lips as you felt more than heard his chuckle from your place against his chest.

You had figured you weren’t getting any sleep for the rest of the night, figured your emotions would be too all over the place and mind too distracted but by the time Frank was repositioning the two of you so that you were laying down in his bed, you resting more on him than the mattress you found you were already more than halfway asleep and couldn’t find the strength to open your eyes again.

The last thing you felt before you fell asleep was Frank’s lips on your head and his softly murmured assurance that he was ok, that you could sleep now and he’d watch over you before you did as he said and drifted off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep safe in the man’s arms, the steady beat of his heart under your head letting you know he was safe too.

___________________

Frank Castle Taglist -

@call-me-a-fool, @sylvies4ever, @lucyysthings, @freeshavocadoooo, @writeroutoftime, @srhxpci @mrslizzyolsen, @shatteredlovesick, @ack3rlevi, @avengersbabe13, @bxmaaa, @lucyysthings 

A World We Can Call Our Own

Click here for my masterlist.

Prompts - anon - 79 - “Do you remember when we skipped school and found this place?” “Yeah, I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.” & 91 - ‘Would you lay with me and just forget the world?’ & 99 - Interlocking pinky fingers.

The grounds of Hogwarts were no strangers to explorers, excited children trying to discover all the hiding places and secrets of the both the castle and its grounds. Yet despite the decades and decades worth of children trying to discover each hiding spot there were still more places than could be counted that had yet to be found.

There were places that should never have even been findable to witches and wizards, places that were so well hidden it should have been impossible to find and yet somehow, somehow two second year students had found one of the grounds best kept hideaways. Not only had they found it so many years ago but they returned often enough that it became their own space.

One of them was having a bad day? The two of them could be found together, backs against the beautifully green grass littered with pastel colours. One of them received good news? The two of them could be found together, huge grins on their faces as they sat close enough together that their shoulders brushed and an unmentioned blush spread across both their cheeks. One of them was struggling with a class? The two of them could be found together, books spread out on the grass, ink stains on their hands and their heads bent together as the other patiently talked through the material.

The land that hadn’t been walked since before Hogwarts was built had now been claimed by two teenagers who shared every special moment together in the place that had become theirs.

“What’s wrong?” You heard James ask but didn’t look away from the letter in your hands as you sat on the ledge of the astronomy tower, feeling James take a seat next to you.

You didn’t answer him, you couldn’t answer him so instead you handed over the latest letter of disappointment from your parents and continued to sit in the silence that seemed less suffocating now that James was sitting beside you.

“I’m sorry,” James frowned as he read, hating how your parents were able to bring your mood down with one little letter - between yours and Sirius’ parents nobody was winning parent of the year awards.

“Don’t be,” you sighed, turning so that your head rested on his shoulder, smiling when his head softly lay against yours. “You think I’d be used to this, right? I mean I’ve been getting these letters since first year.”

“I’m sorry.” James said again and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you shook your head slightly.

For years you’d let the letters and the arguments drag you down all because your family saw you as a disappointment for being sorted into Gryffindor and for years James had been the one to comfort you every time without fail.

“Come on,” He said after several moments of silence, nudging his shoulder against yours as he lifted his head. You looked up at him questioningly, squinting against the sun that shone brightly behind him causing him to grin down at you as he held a hand out for you.

You didn’t hesitate to slide your hand into his and let him pull you up. Despite the fact hand holding wasn’t a new thing between you and James, hell James had been holding your hand since your first day at Hogwarts as he watched you watch name after name and house after house get announced. The fear was clear across your face and James held your hand right up until he was forced to let go and took it straight back in his as you sat down next to him, pale faced and terrified. Despite all that, the familiar feeling of his hand in yours never failed to make your stomach fill with a thousand butterflies.

You let James lead you down the many steps of the astronomy tower and all the way through the castle until you were heading out of the front entrance, a small but genuine smile tugging at your lips as you realised exactly where he was taking you. It was no surprise of course, the two of you practically lived there. It was a surprise that other people had never found the place that had become so special to you, a place where there were no expectations, no family rules and honour, nothing but a place to just be yourself with James.

It didn’t matter to either of you that lunch was almost over and you had double potions in only a few minutes. The only thing that mattered was being together in a place that hid you away from the rest of the world, a place where only the two of you existed.

The walk to your quiet corner of the world was long but peaceful and the two of you took your time, climbing up rocky hills and ducking under untamed vines, hands never leaving each other as you walked side by side. Neither of you said anything but unlike the silence back at the astronomy tower, this silence was nice, it was comfortable. This silence was the kind of silence few people ever got to experience, a silence where no words needed to be spoken, where the silence didn’t need to be filled because the others presence was enough.

It was the kind of silence that came with years worth of friendship, the kind of silence that came with years worth of affection and years worth of feelings that blossomed every single day.

You and James had been fast friends, James immediately pulling you into his carriage on the train, misinterpreting the fear on your face for first day nerves rather than fears of disownment but still you had let yourself be distracted by him, let his smile soothe you and his words push the fear away as you laughed along with what he said.

That first night in the common room, long after everyone had gone to bed you remained downstairs, sitting on the floor with your back pressed to the sofa. It wasn’t until James joined you, with no words to make you laugh or a smile to make you giggle, that a single tear fell down your face. James didn’t offer false words of comfort, instead he sat with you in silence, not awkward or uneasy but comfortable and despite the fact that no words were exchanged that night you knew James Potter was going to be your best friend.

And you were right, Merlin, how right you were.

James Potter was your best friend, inseparable from first year onwards and it wasn’t a shock to anyone as you confessed to your closest friends outside of each other that you liked the other. You remembered clearly sitting in the girls dorm, everyone sat on their beds talking about boys and when they turned to you they didn’t need your flustered confession to know that you had feelings for James, just like Sirius, Remus and Peter didn’t need James to tell them that he liked you.

It was quite possibly the worst kept secret at Hogwarts.

Yet years went by and still neither you or James were brave enough to bring the topic up. It was almost an unspoken agreement to keep things the way they were because it was enough, the bond you had with each other was rare, it was something that most people spent their whole lives looking for and few truly found. Why risk messing with something that was already perfect?

Of course, that was easy to think but some days it was almost suffocating how badly you wanted James. How easy it would be to lean over and press your lips to his and sometimes you moved to do it so casually that it was hard to stop yourself. It was a position James too had found himself in more times than he could even recall at this point.

It was how he’d found himself in the boy’s bedroom, coming up with a plan with the others. A plan that would see the two of you finally together because James couldn’t deal with another year of keeping his feelings to himself. He couldn’t deal with another year of sitting in the common room, fire blazing in front of the sofas, his closest friends surrounding him and you tucked up beneath his arm, head resting on his chest and on occasion falling asleep where you lay.

And they had come up with a plan. It was a good plan too, one involving a trip to Hogsmeade and ending with the two of you together. But for some reason as he spoke through it with his friends, something didn’t feel right about it and now as he walked through the opening of his place with you he realised exactly what it was that was wrong.

How could he ask you out anywhere but the safe haven that seemed to have been created solely for the two of you?

The trees stood tall, each of them blocking the outside world away without making either of you feel closed in. The beautiful pastel pinks that hung over top of you from the weeping cherry tree, the pink blending in with the greens and the purples from the jacaranda tree. There was a clearing through the trees that seemed to stretch on for miles, beautifully green grass turning into crystal clear water well off into the distance.

Despite the amount of times you’d walked over the flowers that seemed to cover the grass, despite how many times you had both lay against the soft ground, the flowers sat perfectly, no proof that they had ever been disrupted.

What better place was there for James to finally, finally, ask you out?

Now all that was left to do was figure out how to make his move.

The two of you quickly found yourself in a familiar position, laying next to each other, eyes on the sky that could be seen despite the mess of trees. A position that right now was exactly what you needed because there was no better cure than laying with James and forgetting about the rest of the world.

“Do you remember,” You finally spoke softly, continuing to stare up ahead even as James’ head turned in your direction, looking at a face he had long since memorised, “when we skipped school and found this place?”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you listened to James laugh. It was a sound you pulled from him easily and you were glad for it because the sound never failed to send a warm feeling through you.

“Yeah,” James answered, a bright smile on his own face as he nodded over to one of the trees not too far away, watching as you began to laugh too. “I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.”

“I wouldn’t say I was impressed.” You told him, turning your gaze to the tree, the memory of a twelve year old James insisting that he could climb the tall tree to pluck a flower that bloomed from it.

Of course he hadn’t been able to do it, instead of watching him retrieve the flower, you watched as he stood tall on the tree branch, ignoring your calls to be careful, only to lose his footing and end up tumbling backwards off the branch and landing on the floor with a sickening crunch.

“You were impressed.” James told you, trying to maintain his serious expression but a side eyed glance from you had him grinning despite himself. “I know you were impressed that I managed to grab the flower.”

At that you couldn’t stop the smile on your face softening as you remembered the rest of the memory from that day because the idiot hadn’t even seemed bothered about the pain, hadn’t seemed to care that he had just broken his leg. No, instead he grinned up at you and held a slightly crumpled white flower in his fist out to you.

A flower you still kept safely tucked away in your trunk to this day.

“I still have it, you know?” You told him, turning away from the tree to look at him, watching as his grin fell and his eyes widened.

“You kept it?” He asked, voice quiet as he turned so he faced you completely, supporting his weight on one arm and watching as you nodded.

“You broke your leg getting it for me, of course I kept it.” You watched as a disbelieving smile made its way onto his face and he let out a huff of laughter as he looked at you in amazement.

He was so utterly and irretrievably in love with you.

And just like that all plans went out of the window as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back, moving your lips against his felt as natural as anything, it felt like it was something you had been doing for years.

It was definitely something you should have been doing for years because as much as you hated to describe it as such it was like all the cliches rolled into one, the fireworks, the butterflies, the rest of the world fading into nothing. It was almost overwhelming and when the two of you finally pulled away, James resting his forehead against yours as you both gasped for air, neither of you could stop the smiles that spread across your faces.

“We should have done that before.” James said eventually causing you to laugh as James’ smile only seemed to grow at the sound. “We’re definitely doing it from now on.”

“At least ask me on a date first.” You laughed and James leaned down to kiss you again just because he couldn’t stop himself and because he was finally allowed to do it.

And spending the rest of the day in a place that was purely yours and James, finally able to kiss each other as casually as you held hands was a truly magical feeling. There was no need for grand romantic confessions, no need to awkwardly stutter through your feelings for one another because you’d always known how you felt about each other. You’d always known that there was a connection, a bond, a love that ran so deep it could never be broken.

It wasn’t until the sky darkened and your stomachs rumbled that the two of you forced yourself up and that was the hardest part about this place, leaving. It was so easy to get caught up in a world that only existed within the safety of the trees but eventually you had to leave.

The two of you walked side by side, hands brushing against each others until James caught your pinky finger in his and looped them together causing you to look down at the joined fingers before turning to James with a soft smile and feeling nothing but love and happiness running through your veins as he smiled back, all thoughts of letters and misery gone from your head.

______

James Potter Taglist (link in bio to add yourself) - @haroldpotterson, @rottenstyx,  @asherhunterx, @secondaryjob, @canadailluminate, @filmsbyblair,  @mrs-scottmccall,   @j-cat,  @cinderellacauseshebroke,  @black-rose-29,    @chickensrule,  @rosaliedepp,  @divanca2006,  @silverose365,   @tc-blossom,  @transparentweaselpartyeagle,  @mystic-writings,  @touchdeprivedwh0re, @alexxavicry,  @sweetdreamsjg,  @alwaysclassyeagle, @carmellasworld, @labellapeaky,  @maeve-7,  @lazysheepperfection, @serrendiipty, @father-violet, @izzyyy-1, @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1 , @loki-laufeysons-wife​, @srhxpci, @mrslizzyolsen​, @idli-dosa, @eichenhouseproperty, @ack3rlevi, @lovelyvante

Your Jedi

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Angstember Prompt -  "I thought I might find you here."

When you and Anakin first met you were nothing more than the Senator’s daughter. You knew one day you would have to take your family’s seat in the Senate and dreaded when such a day would arrive. Anakin had heard you complain about it on several occasions, watching you rant as he smiled over at your pacing figure. It never took long for you to calm down once you saw his smile and often ended with you flopping down next to him, your head on his shoulder.

Anakin had been a good friend, brought to your side after several attempts on your life. At first you had resented the Jedi guarding you, insisting it wasn’t necessary but then you had met him, one easy smile was all it took to silence your complaints. 

From there the two of you became fast friends, Anakin taking your protection seriously but he wasn’t stifling like the other bodyguards were. With Anakin he was more than happy to sneak out of your house, more than happy to explore the planet with you so long as you stayed by his side. It wasn’t a shock when you found yourself catching feelings for the young Jedi, you saw him every day and he was always more than kind to you. He treated you like an actual person, somebody who could be joked around with rather than a political ally. 

Even though he treated you normally, he made you feel special. It was in the little things he did, whether it was remembering your order from the little Twi’lek run bakery or knowing when you needed to get away from the palace and getting you out as quickly and discreetly as possible, taking your hand in his and leading you down to the lake on the grounds, the two of you sitting there for hours talking about nothing and everything. 

You let yourself fall further and further in love with the young man even though you knew it would only break your heart. Jedi weren’t allowed to date, they couldn’t form attachments or love others as you wished Anakin could love you. It didn’t matter to you though, you didn’t need Anakin to love you, so long as you had him at your side you could be content with what you had. 

Of course sometimes Anakin was pulled away from you when he was needed for a bigger mission but he always came back and you were always waiting for him. 

There was one particular mission that changed everything for the both of you. 

Anakin hadn’t been able to tell you anything about this mission, not because he wasn’t allowed, which he definitely wasn’t but that never stopped him, but because Obi-Wan commed him in the middle of the night demanding he meet him on another planet and to be prepared for anything. 

You had woken up to Anakin bursting through your door, frantically throwing his robe on and attaching the hilt of his lightsaber to his hip as he explained to you he had to go and would be back soon. 

In his hurried state he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead that had you feeling heat in your cheeks before he left, smiling over his shoulder at you as you called a ‘may the Force be with you’ after him. 

From there, there had been nothing but silence from Anakin for a month and a half. Luckily though you were the daughter of a Senator and if you wanted information it usually wasn’t too hard to get. However, information surrounding the Jedi mission seemed to be on a need to know basis and none of your usual contacts could tell you anything. It didn’t matter though, you had gotten quite used to listening in on conversations, blending into your surroundings so people forgot you were there. 

Anakin and Obi-Wan had been sent on a mission undercover it seemed, from what little you were able to pick up on. Apparently it hadn’t gone well and the man they had been sent for had figured out who they were. 

You took that to mean the worst and after hearing somebody say the Council was worried that they had had no contact with either Jedi your stomach turned sick. It was the longest you had been away from Anakin where you weren’t also able to talk to him and your fear only got worse as the days went by. 

You became more closed off, more and more snappish with people who tried to get you to do your duties. More than once you’d stormed from rooms, uncaring about the scandalised looks, important figures shot you and the embarrassed ones coming from your parents. You barely slept, kept awake at night by terrible dreams of all the things that could be happening to Anakin. You wished more than ever that you had a connection to the Force, wished to have a solid connection in your mind to Anakin like he shared with Obi-Wan so he could tell you where he was, so you could save him like he had saved you more times than you could count. 

You hated feeling so useless, hated that Anakin was out there, trapped on some planet you didn’t even know the name of, with no idea what was happening to him. The only people who knew the full details seemed to be the Jedi Council and they weren’t exactly going to give you any information, no matter how important your parents were. 

More days passed and you were forced into a meeting room, forced to sit in on a Senate meeting between your parents and other Senators from four different planets, you hardly bothered to remember their names. You had no idea what was being discussed, paid no attention and didn’t bother to feign like you were. It didn’t go unnoticed but you missed the looks of disdain from the Senators and the disapproving looks from your parents.

“You will work alongside these people one day,” your father told you once the other Senators left, turning straight to you with a shake of his head. “You have to earn their respect and this attitude is not going to do that. It makes you look like a petulant child. I know you’re worried for your Jedi but that is no excuse for such behaviour.”

You rolled your eyes at his words but couldn’t stop the warm feeling in your chest. Anakin was your Jedi and you had no idea what you would do if he didn't come home to you.

Around the two month mark you were a mess. There wasn't a better word for how you were feeling. With every night that passed the nightmares that plagued you grew worse to the point where you were now on day four of having no sleep. You could barely bring yourself to eat, sick with worry for your Jedi and even the thought of food had your stomach churning. 

One night you woke up panting, sweat pooled on your head as you shot up and clutched the bedsheets. It took you longer than usual to calm down enough that you could breathe properly though your breath still came out shakily.

Unable to sit in your room, you forced yourself out of bed, needing a moment to fight against the shakiness you felt before you slipped into a pair of shoes and threw a robe over yourself. 

Making your way out of the palace was easy enough and without a real destination in mind you found yourself walking the grounds aimlessly, the cold air doing you a world of good. Without meaning to your feet carried you down to the river, body seemingly on autopilot as you were taken to the spot Anakin had found for the two of you long ago. 

It was far enough from the palace that it couldn’t be seen, a giant tree decorated with pink and purple flowers provided shelter from the sun and from anyone who might be nearby. 

It was a beautiful place, one that never failed to calm you. It did the job tonight even if being here sent an ache to your heart. Since discovering this place you had never come here without Anakin and it felt strange to do so now but it also brought you a sense of calm, like you could feel Anakin all around you. 

You wished for his safe return every minute of the day, prayed that the Council would find them and bring Anakin home. Your heart ached for him, your mind filled with words that you had never let yourself speak for fear of him leaving, now wishing he was here to hear every word of it. 

He might not have been able to return your feelings but at least he would know how you felt, he would be able to find peace and warmth in the knowledge that you loved him more than anything in the galaxy, that no matter what you would always be waiting for him. 

Your mind wandered far enough off that you became unaware of your surroundings, unaware of the sun beginning to rise and of the leaves crunching from not far behind you. 

“I thought I might find you here.” A familiar voice, one you had missed for weeks, for months said, causing you to whip your head around so fast it hurt. 

You didn’t say anything for a moment, frozen in place and only able to stare as if it were a ghost before you rather than the Jedi that had come to be yours. 

“Anakin?” You finally managed to force out, voice breaking as tears filled your eyes. 

You were on your feet in a matter of seconds, running straight at Anakin with no warning but it didn’t matter, the Jedi was ready to catch you, arms already open for you. The second you were in his arms, crashing into him so hard he had to take a few steps back just to keep the two of you up, Anakin wrapped you up tightly holding you close to his chest.

You held him back, hands fisting the robes he wore as you buried your face in his chest, tears flowing uncontrollably down your cheeks as you sobbed into him. One of Anakin’s hands shifted to tangle into your hair, holding your head close to him as his other rubbed circles into your back, tears filling his own eyes and some trickling down his cheeks.

“Anakin.” Was all you were able to sob out and Anakin softly shushed you, pressing his lips to the top of your head and letting them rest there, not pulling away from you.

“It’s alright sweetheart, I’m here, I’m back.” Anakin murmured into your hair and you grip tightened on his robes as another sob left you, Anakin continuing to whisper soft reassurances until your sobs finally turned into sniffles and gasps for breath.

“I was so scared.” You whispered into his chest and had you not literally been wrapped around each other he would have missed the words. “I was terrified of what had happened to you.” 

“Look at me,” He said, pulling back only far enough so that he could rest his forehead on yours, the hand in your hair moving to cup your cheek. “I’m ok. I’m so sorry, it was supposed to be an easy mission and then, well everything went as badly as it could but I’m ok, me and Obi-Wan got away and the Council got us out.

Your own hand came up to cup his cheek, your thumb running along his cheekbone as you listened to him speak. Two months he had been captured for, two months he had gone through things that would haunt him for a long time if that look in his eyes told you anything. 

Two months of not knowing, of being sick with worry, all vanished as you looked at him. He was a little skinnier than the last time you had seen him, cheekbones more prominent and he had dark circles under his eyes. There were a few cuts on his face, a bruise you could see fading on his wrist and he looked exhausted.

Even with the exhaustion on his face you could still see how relieved he was, relieved to finally be rescued, to be home, to be with you. For two months his thoughts stayed on you, through every beating and interrogation, through every hit and burn his thoughts stayed on you, on making sure he got out of this so he could see you again, so he could hold you in his arms and never let you go.

To finally be here, to finally have you in his arms, to have you this close to him, to feel your shaky breaths on his face made everything better. It made the pain he still felt more bearable. It was all he had thought about, there were times when he truly thought him and Obi-Wan were going to die, that by the time help came for them they would be long gone. Even when he felt his hope slipping his thoughts still went back to you, of how you would react to hearing the news. Nobody would think to tell you first, to give you warning. As far as the Council was concerned you were nothing more than a mission to him, an order to keep the Senator’s daughter safe because she was an easy target and had absolutely no concern for her own safety. 

And of course that was all you had started out as, a mission for him, a task to keep you alive. It was a mission that if the Council knew just what it had caused, knew the feelings it stirred within Anakin’s mind and heart, they would have regretted it. They spoke so much about how Jedi should not form attachments, how love would lead them to the Dark Side and then forced him onto a mission he hadn’t wanted where he had met the girl of his dreams.

Anakin loved you, more deeply than he had loved anything in his entire life. He could see why the Jedi could think it was a bad thing, all the love he felt for you was overwhelming at times. He knew he would do anything to keep you safe, anything you asked of him without a moment's hesitation. You held so much power over him, power you didn’t even know you held and yet Anakin wasn’t scared, he didn’t think he’d ever be tempted to the Dark Side because of the love he felt for you. If anything, the way you had him wrapped around your little finger and the love he felt was enough to keep him Light Side forever, he would never fall because he knew that wasn’t a path you could follow. You were the best person he knew and he would do anything to be the best person in your life.

Anakin couldn’t help himself, after two months of being tortured alongside Obi-Wan, forced to listen to his Master in pain, forced to spend two months away from you, Anakin was a weak man. He had kept himself back for years, told himself it was not the Jedi way to form attachments but who was Anakin kidding? He knew he felt more deeply than most of the Jedi and for years now he knew he was too attached to you to even begin breaking the string tying you together, the two of you so entwined it would be an impossible task.

Without warning, without hesitation Anakin leaned down. There was hardly any distance between the two of you anyway, foreheads pressed together as you breathed each other's air. He barely had to tilt his head before his lips were brushing against yours, it was a soft touching of lips and yet it created so much electricity between the two of you.

Anakin waited for a reaction before he deepened the kiss but he didn’t get a chance as you pulled him closer, seemingly waiting for his lips against yours for as long as he had been. Once you pulled him close, lips slotting against each other the energy shifted instantly. Gone was the soft, barely there touch of lips and in its place was desperation, longing, fear, relief, too many emotions to name crammed into one messy kiss. 

Anakin’s hands cupped your face, pulling you impossibly closer as your hands moved to his chest, gripping the fabric in your hands as you savoured everything about the kiss, the way his were slightly chapped against your own, the way his hands felt on your face and the way the sparks seemed to fly.

Anakin, unlike you, could feel the Force around the two of you, practically singing in happiness as you kissed each other until you were breathless and then some, only pulling away when the need for air truly became too much. The two of you stayed close though, bringing your foreheads back together and panting as you caught your breath.

“I should get captured more often.” Anakin murmured playfully, smiling down at you and laughing as you pulled away from him, just far enough so you could slap his chest before cuddling back into him.

Anakin smiled into your hair, settling your head under his chin as he held you close, more than content to enjoy this moment. 

“You ever do anything like that again-” You started but Anakin cut you off with a soft laugh and a kiss to your hair.

“Trust me, I don’t plan to ever be away from you for that long again. I don’t know what was worse the torture or not seeing your beautiful smile for two months. Stars, I nearly told them what they wanted to know just to see you again.” Anakin told you, grinning at you as you pulled your head back to look up at him, rolling your eyes at his words but not denying him of the smile that spread across your lips.

“I’m glad you’re home.” You told him softly and his grin faded into a smile as he kissed your forehead and held you to his chest.

The Jedi temple had never truly been his home, he used to think his small hut back on Tatooine was his true home but standing here with you, in your spot by the lake, sun rising and casting a soft orange glow across the planet, he knew in his heart this was his home.

Not the planet, not the beautifully rich palace behind him but the girl in his arms. You were his home, you would always be his home and you would forever have his heart. It was yours to hold, yours to cherish and yours to break. 

If it were anyone else before him he might have been terrified at the thought but because it was you it didn’t even cross his mind to be scared of what was to come. He trusted you with his life, with his heart, with everything. He knew you were the one for him, you were his love and he would do everything he could to keep you and the love between you safe.

Anakin Skywalker Taglist -

@captainamericasdaughter15, @daisyfreshwhore, @alexxavicry, @mukbee, @bubsonnobx, @starkillerrr, @heyitsaloy ,@midnightsmelodies, @f-sant, @fairydxll, @midnightlikeschezyt