Silent Suffering

Silent Suffering

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Angstember Prompt - Crying into somebody's chest

Pairings - Obi-Wan Kenobi & Reader, Anakin Skywalker & Reader (can be read as pre Anakin x Reader too!)

Despite having your own Master you still found yourself spending most of your time in the company of Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan Anakin Skywalker. More often than not you accompanied Anakin to his lessons with Obi-Wan, whether it be lightsaber training or mediation. 

The training a Padawan undertook was long and gruelling, days seemed to drag as you were taught the ways of the Jedi. Your Master was a cold man, he lacked the patience needed to train a Padawan which led to him snapping at you whenever you were made to train with him. Obi-Wan, however, was everything a Jedi Master should be, where you struggled to mediate, to shut your mind off to any and every outside distraction, your Master would snap and push you without proper guidance, Obi-Wan was the exact opposite. You still remembered the first time you’d mediated in front of him, how much you had struggled to do what came easily to most Jedi and you fully expected Obi-Wan to lose his temper with you, only to be shocked when he sat down in front of you and spoke, his words soft and gentle as he guided you and for the first time ever you felt yourself fall into that peaceful state easily. 

From there you had been eager to learn under Obi-Wan’s guidance. Compared to Anakin you felt your training was far behind despite the fact the two of you had started training at the same age though you hadn’t met until a few years later when your Master’s had been sent on a mission together with the instruction to bring their Padawan’s along.  

It was from that mission on you had become a permanent attachment to their duo, spending time with them even if it did take you a while to open up to them. The kindness they both showed you was such a stark contrast to how your Master treated you that you couldn’t help but stick with them.

Obi-Wan had wondered whether he should put a stop to how involved in their lives you were becoming. When you started joining Anakin’s lessons he had debated over what to do but Anakin seemed to like the challenge of a new opponent, one whose moves he couldn’t predict as well as he could his Master’s so Obi-Wan let you stay until he became as attached to you as he was his own Padawan. Watching as you grew in your training, how you seemed to thrive under his gentle guidance and encouraging words and sought out his advice on how you could improve made his heart warm and he knew that he wasn’t going to put a stop to you joining them.

Throughout the years Obi-Wan had tried to talk to you about your Master, about why you seemed behind in your training and more inclined to let Obi-Wan teach you. Each time you gave a vague answer, one that never answered his question before quickly changing the subject or darting off somewhere before he had the chance to ask you more questions. 

Anakin had also asked you about your Master, never having heard much about him. Anakin could never imagine training under another Master when he had Obi-Wan and knew that something wasn’t right between you and yours but as you did with Obi-Wan you did with Anakin and did your best to avoid answering the question. 

As the years went by and you got older your Master’s outbursts seemed to become more frequent and less justified. Some days he would yell at you when you weren’t training, when the Council sent you on missions together. You and your Master had never particularly gotten along well but the last couple of years had been worse than when you were a child.

You ignored it though, content to find comfort from Anakin and Obi-Wan, content to hide away with them when things became too much. You knew both men knew something was wrong but you had refused to talk about it and over time they didn’t ask as much as they used to, knowing full well you weren’t ready to talk about it yet.

One morning you found yourself in a training room, Obi-Wan walked around you and Anakin as you both duelled against the other. Years ago it was a challenge, neither one of you could predict the other's next move, the next step but now after years spent at each other’s side, being taught by the same Master it was easy to see four moves ahead. 

That didn’t mean the two of you went easy on each other, if anything it meant the two of you were more cocky, riskier in the moves you made and by the time the doors to the training room opened the two of you had worked up at sweat, panting as you grinned at each other as Anakin managed to get you on the ground with his lightsaber pointed at you.

“Alright, that's quite enough you two.” Obi-Wan told you with a smile.

Anakin holstered the lightsaber and reached a hand down for you, your grin still firmly in place as you slipped your hand into his and let him pull you up.

“Don’t worry, Y/N/N, one of these days you’ll beat me.” Anakin told you, his entire face lit up as he threw an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into him.

“Please,” you scoffed, letting yourself enjoy the closeness before playfully pushing him away, “I was just going easy on you.”

“Padawan,” A cold voice from the doorway said, causing you to flinch slightly, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Obi-Wan or Anakin. “We are being sent to aid the clones.”

You had to force your feet to move, to follow your Master out of the room, forced yourself to ignore the worry you felt coming from the two Jedi left behind in the training room. The air was tense as you followed him into the craft and even more so once you were up in the air and he turned his cold gaze towards you.

“Spending time with Kenobi and the Skywalker child again, Padawan?” He snarled and you barely suppressed a shiver.

This was the cause of many arguments and despite how much you dreaded your Master’s temper you would take any anger he directed your way so long as you could seek comfort from Obi-Wan and Anakin. You knew it wasn’t the fact you were so close to the two that angered your Master, though it certainly didn’t help matters, but it was an easy thing for him to target, an excuse for him to actually be angry at you.

You had no idea what you had done to cause so much hatred from your Master, since you were a child he had never had a nice word to say towards you. You remembered being so young, so upset that he seemed to hate you and tried so hard, did everything right, to get him to like you.

Nowadays you had accepted your Master’s anger, accepted you would never find the reason for it and stopped trying to please him, stopped seeking out his approval. You suspected Obi-Wan had a large part to play in your acceptance, the man was the complete opposite of your Master and where your Master shot you harsh words and hateful glares, Obi-Wan easily countered it with kind touches and soft words. 

And then there was Anakin.

Anakin wasn’t foolish, he could see that you and your Master didn’t get on and though he had questioned but never pushed the matter, he had become an expert in reading you. He always seemed to know exactly when you needed him, was always there with a shoulder to cry on and distractions that often pulled the two of you into some kind of mischief that Obi-Wan never scolded you too much for because he too could see when things had gotten bad.

You loved being a Jedi, loved helping people and saving them but some days you wondered what would have become of you had you not met Obi-Wan and Anakin. Would you have stayed with the Jedi or would you have left the Order many moons ago? You believed you would have left, if you hadn’t had Obi-Wan and Anakin’s kindness to counteract your Master’s harshness. You truly didn’t think you could survive the years spent as a Padawan, not without the Dark Side spreading through you until you were consumed by it .

“Stupid girl wasting your time with those two, though I suppose I cannot expect much better from someone so foolish.” Your Master spoke, pulling you away from your thoughts and bringing your attention back to him.

You barely suppressed a sigh but knew if you let it escape you’d be done for. The words you could take but if he ever saw signs of you fighting back against him, even something as little as a sigh or squaring your shoulders back, you knew that the consequences would be bad. 

It was a lesson you had learnt the hard way and your side still burned from where the Force lightning had been directed.

Instead you sat there, still as a statue and watched as one of the clones announced your Master was needed elsewhere. Once he had left the room you let yourself relax and looked towards the clone, Daar, and shot him a grateful look, smiling as he nodded back at you.

You were close to many of the troopers and knew that they saw how your Master treated you, he didn’t hide it around them, not when he could order them to stay silent and they couldn’t disobey him. A few had offered to though, they had come directly to you and told you they would gladly disobey orders if you asked them to. You had smiled at that but each time had told them to do as your Master said, no point the clones being punished when you could take what your Master gave.

The rest of the trip was blessedly silent, the clones coming up with a reason to keep your Master in another section of the craft and it wasn’t long before you were landing. 

The entire mission was a mess, that was the only word for it. Your orders were to protect both the people and the Senator but your Master seemed to only hear the last part of those orders as he laid out his plan that willingly sacrificed the people of the planet to get the Senator away safely.

The people were starving, held captive by the droid army and from your position you could see many slaughtered innocents. You grimanced before turning back to your Master as he spoke, your eyes wide as you listened to him, he was not a kind man but this was extreme even for him. How he was a member of the Jedi order, a Jedi Master, was completely beyond you.

“We can’t let him do this.” You told Daar as your Master left the craft, lightsaber already out as he and some clones fought droids in order to make it to the palace.

“What do you suggest we do instead?” Daar asked and all the remaining clones turned towards you, each of them waiting for orders from somebody who did not have the authority to give them but all of them willing to follow them no matter what.

You stood silently for a moment, shocked at how the troopers didn’t hesitate to turn to you, to let you give the orders but then a smile broke out on your face and you nodded. Nothing good would come from this for you, you would be punished both by the Council and privately by your Master but you refused to just let the people of this city die for no reason, not when you could save them.

“Out here we only have the droid army in our way, let Master deal with whatever member of the Empire is holding the Senator captive. You think we can get the people out?” You asked Daar and he shot you a grin as he nodded.

“Course we can, right boys?” He asked and the troopers gave a cheer causing your smile to widen.

From outside the craft you could see your Master had made progress with the droid blocking the entrance to the palace, his gaze turning back towards you and calling for more clones.

With a final glance at all the troopers, your gaze landed on Daar who gave you a softer smile and nodded causing you to nod back. The troopers put their helmets on and you all left the craft, you spared a final glance back as you all made your way in the opposite direction to see your Master’s furious glare towards you.

The droids seemed to multiply, for everyone you took down five more appeared. The troopers were fairing no better and there were a number of casualties but eventually you fought your way to where the citizens were being held. It took some effort to free them as droids fought back and you had to deal with your Master yelling every hateful word and threat he could think of through the comms but eventually the droids were down and stopped coming and you ushered the people towards your ships.

Your Master and the Senator, as well as the people who had been trapped in the palace with him, all stood around the crafts and you ignored your Master as you passed him, thankful when Daar put himself between the two of you so he couldn’t grab you and began handing out the food rations you had brought with you.

You tried to drag it out for as long as possible but eventually you had to leave. Boarding the ship, your heart was in your throat and anxiety pulsed through your veins, you waited for your Master to dole out whatever punishment he saw fit but it never came and that only made you more scared.

Daar noticed your anxiety and sat down next to you ignoring the glare your Master sent towards the two of you and patted you knee gently.

“You did go out there today.” He told you, the words quiet but the genuineness of them was clear and you couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips.

“Thank you,” you said, keeping your voice just as quiet, “I’m just glad we were able to save everybody.”

The trip back to Coruscant didn’t take too long, something you both hated and were grateful for. You weren’t foolish enough to believe you could slip away before your Master got a hold of you, knew what was to come but still once the ship landed you tried to leave as quickly as possible.

“Not so fast, Padawan.” Your Master snarled, his hand reaching over to wrap around your bicep, grip so tightly you winced and knew bruises would form but they would be the least of your worries after he was done with you. 

You could see the troopers behind him, could see Daar take a step forward but you shook your head as discreetly as you could, watching him step back reluctantly.

“Come with me.” The tone of the man’s voice was low and harsh as he dragged you away from onlookers.

It wouldn’t be long until you were called before the Jedi Council, your Master had already given the briefing through holocomm, but it was enough time for him to pull you into his quarters, far away from any witnesses and leave you crying out, withering on the floor as you felt the lightning produced by the Force spreading and burning your body, sweat pouring from you as you tried to fight against it but it was useless as you were pinned down by the Force.

Your Master gave you enough time to go to your chambers to clean up, tears and sobs leaving you as you tried to pull burnt fabric from the burns and covered it in as much bacta salve as you could.

You cupped water into your hands before splashing it across your face, desperate to hide evidence of what had happened. Despite it though you didn’t regret your actions, so many people were alive because of you and you would gladly go through that a thousand times if it meant they were safe.

Your Master showed up at your door and grabbed your arm again, dragging you down to where the Council members were gathered. He stopped abruptly outside the door and pressed his hand into where he had burned causing you to wince and bite back a sob.

“If you know what’s good for you you’ll keep your mouth shut.” He warned before standing up tall, a friendly look spreading across his face as he entered the room and greeted the members of the Council, you following behind and keeping your gaze down.

As you stood there you had to fight down protests, felt the anger rise in you as your Master painted a picture completely different to what had happened. As he told them his plan was to save the Senator before helping the citizens but you had jeopardised the entire mission as well as the lives of all the innocent people and the Senator’s to prove yourself. 

The pain in your side made it unbearable to stand but the hatred you felt in your veins, a deep anger you had never felt before made it hard to keep your mouth shut. How dare he, how dare he say you needed to prove yourself! It had never been about that, you only wanted to help people, you didn’t care if the Jedi Council took notice of your actions so long as the people who needed your aid were safe.

Once he was finished you finally looked up and came face to face with a sea of disappointed looks. The only person who didn’t look disappointed was Obi-Wan, instead he had a small furrow in between his brows as he looked between Master and Padawan, seeing something the others weren’t.

“A common occurrence, this is becoming.” Master Yoda said and your jaw clenched under the effort to stay silent. Of course the Council member’s thought you disobeying orders was a regular thing because no matter what you did your Master always, always, found a way to make it seem so. 

You managed to keep quiet, staring straight ahead, knowing that any attempt to counter your Master’s story would only end badly for you. The burning pains in your sides only reminded you of that, reminded you of what your Master was capable of.

“To add, have you anything?” Master Yoda asked you and it took every ounce of strength you had to not fall to your knees before the Council and beg with them to help you, to protest your Master’s fabrications, to show them what he did to you but you knew it would amount to nothing, your Master had taught you that long ago that Master’s could give out whatever punishment they saw fit.

As you shook your head you felt your anger spike again, though it seemed impossible that it could do so. From your side you could practically feel your Master’s smugness coming from him in waves.

The room stayed silent for a moment and you took the opportunity to look at Obi-Wan, his eyes already looking back at you. You watched as the man’s face softened though you could practically see how fast his thoughts were running as he knew something was wrong.

Obi-Wan had known for a long time something was not right. For years you had been by his side, he had watched you grow from a small, shy little thing into the young woman you were now. He had trained you, had brought you onto his missions with Anakin and watched you thrive under his guidance. He rarely got the chance to see you with your Master but the times he did, especially now, the person you were around him was not the person Obi-Wan knew. 

“Archive security, you shall do.” Master Yoda announced and Obi-Wan barely suppressed a sigh at Yoda’s choice of punishment, you weren’t going to like this at all.

“Archive security?” You repeated, the words coming out of your mouth without your permission. Your tone was complete disbelief as you stared at the Council member’s, watching as Obi-Wan rubbed at his forehead.

“A problem, you have with this?” Master Yoda asked and yes, yes you did have a problem with this because even though it got you out of missions with your Master it also meant it got you out of missions with Obi-Wan and Anakin and left you behind, alone with your Master.

You were desperate for that not to happen, you couldn’t cope with being around your Master anymore than you had to be. You knew it was a bad idea to argue with the Council, to do something else to anger your Master but still your mouth opened, words ready to fall when Obi-Wan cut you off, probably saving you from a worse punishment.

“Y/N.” He warned, his tone soft and gentle as you turned to look at him.

Obi-Wan shook his head and you silently pleaded with him but knew that even he couldn’t do anything to get you out of this. He had no proof beyond his own doubts and unfortunately that wasn’t solid evidence.

Oh stars, he thought to himself as he looked at your wide eyes, why won’t she just tell me what’s happening so I can help?

“No problem, Master Yoda, forgive my outburst.” You apologised robotically, hands clenched at your sides as you listened to Master Yoda dismiss you.

You bowed towards them, side burning at the movement and you barely choked back a sob at the pain but made your way out of the room.

You stood outside the Council doors, cursing the face that you were forced to remain here, alone without the two people you cared most for, the two people who made your Master’s actions easier to deal with. You longed to tell them about the burns covering your body but Master’s could do as they saw fit to punish their Padawan and you knew they would only turn you away.

“Y/N,” Obi-Wan called softly as he slipped from the room.  

Your head shot up to look at the man and you couldn’t help but let your thoughts run. Obi-Wan wouldn’t turn you away, right? In all the time you’d known him you had never seen him harm Anakin, no matter how badly his Padawan messed up. Perhaps if you told him, maybe he wouldn’t disagree with your Master’s way of dealing with you but maybe would help you patch yourself up.

Obi-Wan gave you a kind smile as he gestured for you to walk with him, each step sending a new wave of pain through your body.

“What really happened out there?” He asked softly as the two of you walked side by side.

You stayed silent for the longest time, thoughts running wild as you debated whether to tell Obi-Wan what was happening. You trusted Obi-Wan more than anybody, knew his kindness better than most and by the time the two of you arrived at his quarters you still hadn’t made a decision.

Obi-Wan let you remain silent, he could see the thoughts in your head, could see the frown on your face as you battled over what you could tell him. He could see the exhaustion coming from you, could see your anger and how you were ready to let it out. He hoped he could help, hoped you would finally tell him what happened behind closed doors.

The man let you through the doors first before following after you and gesturing you over to the sofa, raising his eyebrow as you grimanced whilst sitting.

“I wish you had been my Master.” You finally spoke after a long period of silence, the words so quiet Obi-Wan would have missed them if he wasn’t sitting so close to you. 

“As do I, young one.” He told you, taking your hand in yours and giving it a gentle, encouraging squeeze.

At his words, your eyes filled with tears, the exhaustion and pain and anger you felt all became too much suddenly as the tears fell down your cheeks one after the other, your breaths coming out as shaky sobs.

Obi-Wan’s own eyes widened at the sudden onset of tears but he didn’t hesitate to comfort you. He pulled you softly against his chest and you willingly went, hand gripping his cloak as he held the back of your head, running his fingers soothingly through your hair. 

The tears refused to slow and you stayed buried against Obi-Wan’s chest for a long time, the man's arms around you, holding you in place as he murmured gentle words of comfort, not rushing you to calm down but allowing you to work through it.

He could tell you had been holding onto these emotions for a long time, the tears coming from you ached his heart and he wanted nothing more than to wrap you up and keep you far away from your Master who was no doubt the cause of all of this. 

He didn’t let his own anger show, didn’t want you to think he was upset with you at all. It was rare for Obi-Wan to feel such anger, he liked to think by now he had a pretty good grip on his emotions but listening to you, your tears soaking his robes as you sobbed into his chest, he couldn’t feel much but anger.

At some point the tears subsided into sniffles, your eyes red and blood stained after crying for so long. Obi-Wan felt your breathing even out and thought you had fallen asleep, especially as you cuddled further into his chest but then you began speaking.

“I only wanted to save them.” You told Obi-Wan, your voice croaky from sobbing uncontrollably but also emotionless, “He was going to let them all die and I wanted to save them.”

“I believe you.” Obi-Wan told you and the honesty in his voice had you letting out a shaky breath.

“He punishes me,” You said, eyes falling closed as you forced yourself to keep talking, “it doesn’t matter what I do, he always finds a reason to punish me. Some days he doesn’t even need a reason.”

Obi-Wan’s own eyes fell closed as he dreaded your next words but asked anyway.

“How does he punish you, young one?” 

You were silent again and Obi-Wan, despite not wanting to hear the answer, needed to. He needed to know so he knew exactly how bad things had got, so he knew just how to help you.

“He uses the Force, uses lightning.” You said, the words bringing on a fresh set of tears but you kept them trapped behind your eyelids, pushing your face further into Obi-Wan’s chest.

Obi-Wan felt his heart stop at your answer, his blood running cold as mental images filled his head of you being burned with Force lightning. How had he never noticed? His grip tightened on you, his arms holding you closer but at your wince he pulled away like he himself had been burned.

“Y/N,” He said, the word so soft as he looked at you. You didn’t let him say anything else, you’d come this far you might as well go further and with that you pulled your cloak away and lifted your shirt enough for Obi-Wan to see the fresh burns as well as the old ones.

Obi-Wan gasped, his hand moving to touch the fresh one before pausing. There was fabric that seemed to have melted into your skin and he winced as he continued to stare. He had seen a lot of injuries in his lifetime but that had to be up there with some of the worst.

“Y/N,” He breathed out, his gaze shifting from your burns to your face, silent tears making their way down as you let your shirt cover them again.

Obi-Wan reached over to wipe at your cheeks, moving towards you and placing his lips to your forehead, letting them linger there before he pulled away.

“We have to inform the Council.” He told you softly and you looked at him, shaking your head but he cut you off before you could speak. “Y/N, he cannot be allowed to stay, what he has done to you is-” Obi-Wan cut himself off, not having the words to describe the pain inflicted onto you.

“Master’s can punish Padawan’s however they want.” You told them, the words were void of emotion and almost robotic, like you were repeating words you’d been told for years and Obi-Wan didn’t doubt that.

“No they cannot.” He told you, voice firm and you looked at him with wide eyes. “How many times has Anakin messed up since being my Padawan? I’ve lost count and I have never inflicted pain upon him. He gets a scolding and if the Council sees a harsher punishment is needed they will see to it but never would it be something that would harm the Padawan.” 

The words made your eyes water even more as you felt foolish, of course you should have known that.

“Don’t be so harsh on yourself, he made you believe something for a very long time. He manipulated you into keeping this pain a secret. You are not to blame, I promise you the Council will see that too.” Obi-Wan told you and you nodded, tears sliding down your face again and you wrapped your arms around him and cuddled into his chest again.

Obi-Wan held you close whilst making sure he wasn’t hurting you and swore he would see to it that your Master was dealt with. 

Anakin walked into his Master’s chambers after roaming the Temple looking for you after hearing about what had happened on your latest mission and stopped just inside the doorway as he took in the scene of you sobbing into Obi-Wan’s chest.

You hadn’t heard Anakin enter the room but Obi-Wan did and he glanced up at Anakin with a sad smile as he held you. He was glad Anakin was here, he wanted to keep you out of this meeting though he knew the Council would want to speak to you, he wondered if perhaps any of the clones had seen anything and would be willing to speak up about it.

He gestured for Anakin to come closer and you jumped when you felt Anakin sit beside you, relaxing when you saw it was him.

“I know archive security is boring but that’s a lot of tears.” Anakin said softly and you couldn’t stop the choked laugh that escaped you causing the two men to smile.

“I have to speak with the Council,” Obi-Wan told the two of you and you turned to look at him with fear shining in your eyes. From behind you he could see Anakin’s questioning look but just shook his head. “If you want to be there whilst I tell them you can be but it’s completely your decision.”

“I’ll stay with Anakin.” You told him softly, sniffing as you rubbed at your eyes. “You can tell him.” You allowed, gesturing to Anakin as you leaned back into Obi-Wan, even more exhausted than you had been before.

You listened as Obi-Wan filled Anakin in on what he had missed, listening with a small smile as Anakin fumed on your behalf, threatening to go and deal with your Master himself but Obi-Wan assured him it would be dealt with and that his only job was to look after you whilst he spoke to the Council.

That seemed to calm Anakin down and he nodded, sitting back down next to you and letting Obi-Wan transfer you from his arms to Anakin’s, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before he stood and readjusted his cloak. 

“You know where I’ll be if you need me.” Obi-Wan said before he turned to leave the room.

Anakin looked down at you as you lay on his chest and smiled softly. He wished Obi-Wan would allow him to deal with your Master but knew you needed him more. 

“Come on.” Anakin said, nudging you up softly being mindful of the injuries Obi-Wan had told him about. He knew sitting on the sofa wouldn’t help your wounds and instead stood, smiling at the soft whine of protest that came from you before you took his offered hand and let him lead you over to the bed.

You had to admit it felt much better to be laying down and as Anakin pulled you back into his arms you couldn’t help but relax, feeling better than you had in a long while. It seemed bizarre that Obi-Wan was going to talk to the Council about this, that it wasn’t normal and the Council were going to have something to say about it. 

It almost felt like a dream, like you’d wake up with your Master standing over you with a smirk on his face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” Anakin whispered as he pressed a kiss to your hair and you smiled, hand holding the fabric of his shirt and cuddling further into him.

“You didn’t know.” You whispered back, eyes heavy as they fell closed and you couldn’t find the strength to open them again.

“Nobody will ever hurt you again, I promise.” You were certain that was a promise Anakin couldn’t keep, no matter how hard he tried but you appreciated it all the same. 

Cuddled up in Anakin’s arms, in Obi-Wan’s moments before, felt safe. It was as safe as you had felt for a long time and knowing that the two of them cared so much about you, that they were willing to speak up for you and, in Anakin’s face, threaten the man who had caused you so much harm, had you believing that things would be ok. Once your Master was gone and you had only the two of them you truly believed that, in time, you would be ok.

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You Were My Only Hope

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Angstember Prompt - “For what it’s worth, I never gave up on you."

You had been on your own for a long time now, floating through the galaxy and never staying in one place long enough for anybody to know you, hiding your identity and shutting yourself off from the Force completely whilst trying to push through each lonely day without focusing on the emptiness around you.

Obi-Wan had long since taken off, exiling himself to Tatooine to look after the boy, Anakin’s boy. Some days you almost caved and went to the planet but you weren’t quite sure either you or Obi-Wan were prepared to face your past life just yet. The two of you weren’t the same people you had been all those years ago, Anakin’s downfall and death had taken something from both of you that hadn’t yet been replaced.

You had loved Anakin, had loved him more dearly than anything else. You had been praised for how well you followed the Jedi Code but it wasn’t true, for Anakin Skywalker you broke the Jedi Code everyday even if he never knew. You had known he had a relationship with Padmé, though you hadn’t quite known the extent of it, had no idea they were married, but it didn’t stop you from loving him.

Even though Anakin didn’t love you as you loved him, it didn’t mean he didn’t love you in his own way. The two of you had grown up alongside each other in the Temple, you were Anakin’s first and best friend. Whilst Obi-Wan wasn’t actually your Master, he had been in every sense of the word other than officially. You had spent more time training with him and Anakin than you had your own Master and if the Jedi allowed a Master to take on more than one Padawan you knew Obi-Wan would have happily accepted you as his own alongside Anakin. Over the years you became everything to each other, something closer than friends and somehow more intimate than lovers, there hadn’t been anything the two of you didn’t share with each other, at least you’d thought there were no secrets between you right up until Anakin’s fall.

Seeing the destruction he had caused, the death of Padmé, leaving the bodies of children behind in the Temple, helping with the murder of Jedi across the galaxy and making sure that the few who had escaped had bounties on their heads forever, turned your stomach. You knew that if you had had the chance all those years ago you would have done anything to change it, would have given up everything so long as Anakin kept his light.

There was nothing you could do though, Anakin was dead, Obi-Wan had pulled you aside shortly after Padmé had given birth to the children and tearfully told you what had happened on Mustafar, told you that Anakin was gone. The two of you held each other, knowing that nothing would be the same again and you hadn’t stopped the tears that poured from your eyes, soaking the cloak Obi-Wan wore.

From that day on you had been lost, jumping from one planet to the other and it was only when you came across a group of Inquisitors that you were glad you had been running, glad you had shut yourself off from the Force. You had hidden yourself in the shadows, easily blending in with the sketchy figures around you as one of the Inquisitors Force choked a Jedi they had found. You knew this was common, any Jedi found was to be killed, the Empire wouldn’t rest until they were. You had grown numb to it, had seen it happen too many times, in the early years you had wanted to react, wanted to help the Jedi but you knew that meant exposing yourself and you couldn’t do it.

“Where is Y/F/N Y/L/N?” One of the Inquisitors snarled and you felt your eyes go wide and forced yourself to swallow against the sudden lump in your throat.

You knew the Empire was looking for Obi-Wan for whatever reason, over the years you had heard whispers of his name but nobody had found where he was yet, only a few people knew that information and none of you would ever betray Obi-Wan.

The question was, why were they looking for you?

Ever since you’d overheard that conversation you had cut down your time spent on a single planet, making sure to keep your face covered whenever you had to be surrounded by people and kept your head down. You had dodged many Inquisitors in the past few months and again the urge to go to Obi-Wan for help was strong, the urge to reconnect with the Force and call out to Obi-Wan but you never did.

Instead you ran and you hid and you didn’t talk to anybody that wasn’t necessary. You were good but there was only so much you could do without the Force to help you, for it to warn you when danger was near. It didn’t surprise you nearly as much as it should have when you rounded a corner and saw your little shack in the middle of nowhere surrounded by Inquisitors, a ship not too far away.

Without your own lightsaber it really wasn’t a fair fight and it wasn’t long before you were being marched into the ship, a collar around your throat to cut you off from the Force despite you having done that yourself many years ago.

You didn’t say anything though, just let them shove along, rolling your eyes as they gloated about catching you before you were being pushed into a small, dark room. The door shut behind you and you were glad to be separated from the troopers and Inquisitors, if only to be rid of their constant taunting that was nothing more than an annoyance.

You had no idea where you were being taken, you could feel the ship moving and you could feel it making the shift to hyperspace. You spent the journey sitting on the floor, legs crossed as you let your mind wander. Even as a Padawan you had struggled to mediate, your Master hadn’t had the patience to teach you after repeated failures but Obi-Wan was more than happy to sit opposite you and guide you through it no matter how long it took. Mediating without being surrounded by the Force felt pointless but you still tried, if only to pass the time.

At some point your peace was disturbed as the door opened and you opened one eye to see a female Inquisitor enter the room alone. You regarded her for a second longer before letting your eye fall shut again, not giving her a reaction. She waited for the door to shut before she spoke.

“Anakin Skywalker has been waiting a very long time for you.” She told you and you couldn’t hide your reaction.

Your eyes shot open, staring openly at the woman in front of you in shock as your back stiffened with her words.

“What did you just say?” You asked, voice low and cold.

“You heard m-” She started to say but cut herself off, staring back at you for a moment before letting out a laugh, one that showed just how much she enjoyed having some sort of power over you as a smirk spread across her face. “You don’t know.”

“Know what? What do you know of Anakin?” You asked, not having pieced together what she knew.

“You don’t know,” She repeated, glee written on her face as she continued, “You don’t know what became of him.”

“He died.” You said through gritted teeth, annoyed at whatever tactic she was playing.

“Oh no, Y/N. Anakin Skywalker didn’t die, Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.”

Your blood ran cold at her words, your head already shaking in disbelief because that was impossible. You hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Vader but when one travelled the galaxy as much as you did you heard the stories. There was no way that was Anakin, no way.

“You really didn’t know.” She murmured, pulling you out of your thoughts and glaring at the smirk that was still on her face. “I guess you are right, your sweet Anakin Skywalker is long gone, Darth Vader is who remains.”

With those words she turned to leave the room, leaving you with that bombshell as you tried to sort your thoughts out. There was no way Obi-Wan knew, he would have told you. He, like you, believed Anakin had died on Mustafar but clearly he had received help, something had happened after Obi-Wan left with Padmé.

Even knowing what you knew about Vader you had to believe that Anakin was still in there somewhere, buried deep down under Darkness. Had you known he was still alive you wouldn’t have wasted years running around the galaxy, you would have done anything you could to bring him back to you.

For the first time since you had shut yourself off from it you wished you could connect with the Force.

It wasn’t long after that you felt the ship land, the doors to your cell were sliding open and two Inquisitors flanked by a handful of troopers were revealed. One of the Inquisitors wrapped their hand around your arm and dragged you along, the other gripping your other arm once you were close to him. You let them lead you through the ship and it took a good few minutes before you arrived in front of two heavy looking doors.

Upon seeing you and the Inquisitors, as well as the troopers who had followed you, the trooper standing guard opened the doors and you were shoved forward. You kept a bored look on your face but it was quickly replaced by a sad look as you saw Darth Vader standing in the room.

That couldn’t be Anakin and yet even without the Force to guide you, you had a feeling in the pit of your stomach, one that turned you cold, that the Inquisitor hadn’t been lying.  

“Leave us.” Vader ordered, his voice modified through the suit, sounding nothing like Anakin.

The Inquisitors and troopers left the room and the door fell shut behind them leaving you alone with Vader. You stood tall, a neutral look masking the pain and sadness you felt, staring into the helmet of Darth Vader.

“You have been difficult to find.” He told you and you couldn’t help but smirk, you had only become aware of the fact that the Empire was after you a few months ago, you wondered just how long you’d had a bounty on your head. “I have you now and you will tell me where Kenobi is hiding.”

You struggled to keep your mask in place, struggled not to let it show how painful it was hearing the hate filter through the mask. How had things fallen apart so badly, how had Anakin Skywalker, the person who had never failed to give you hope all throughout the clone wars, the person who you only ever saw the best in, fallen so hard? How could that boy who looked up to Obi-Wan, who had loved him dearly, not even bring himself to say his name? Only able to spit it out like it was poison.

Where had it all gone wrong?

“It’s really you then isn’t it?” You asked him, despite your neutral face your voice betrayed you, quivering slightly before you forced yourself to take a breath. “I didn’t want to believe her when she said you were Anakin but it’s you isn’t it?”

“Don’t use that name!” He spat, one arm raised with a clenched fist and you found yourself  a few feet in the air, Vader cutting off your breath as he Forced choked you.

It was child's play, you could handle being Forced choked, Anakin knew it as well as you did. You had been through worse during the years of the Clone Wars, suffered worse things than a choking. The Clone Wars had been tough, you’d been kidnapped more times than you could count, tortured even more, Anakin had been by your side throughout it all, you both knew this was nothing.

“Skywalker was weak, he was useless.” Vader said as he stopped choking you and you just about stayed upright as you were dropped to the floor.

“Anakin was never weak and he was far from useless. He was the bravest person I have ever met, he inspired loyalty, he was a hero.” You said, stressing the last word as you gave Vader a look of distaste. “Can you say the same about yourself?”

“You abandoned him, left him to die. Don’t speak to me about loyalty.” Vader snarled and even without the Force you could feel his anger, his pain and frustration.

You had to believe there was more than that there though, that there was some light no matter how small and dim, there had to be.

Anakin couldn’t just be gone.

For years you had lived thinking he had died, alone and in pain, left behind by Obi-Wan. You hadn’t blamed Obi-Wan, you had had years to dwell on it, years to run it through your head and knew full well that if you were in the man's shoes you wouldn’t have been able to kill Anakin either.

Even now as you stood before the darkest and most twisted version of Anakin, knew of all the pain and horror he had inflicted on the galaxy, even now you knew full well if you had the chance you wouldn’t be able to kill him.

You could practically see Master Yoda in your mind, shaking his head in disappointment as he spoke about attachments.

“Abandoned you?” You asked, shaking your own head as you stared at him in disbelief. “I thought you were dead. If I had known, if I had even had an inkling that you were alive, believe me I would have found you myself. I would have done everything I could to break through all the darkness surrounding you.”

“You expected me to believe that?” He scoffed and you glared at him. It was hard talking to him like this, not just because of the anger and the hatred but because of the helmet. Anakin had always been so expressive, his every emotion played out on his face but now the man hid behind the helmet.

“You know I’m not lying.” You told him and he remained silent for a few moments.

“There was a place for you at my side, there still is a place for you.” He told you suddenly, voice quiet but firm and you felt your eyes widen, there was no way he thought you would ever turn to the Dark Side but then again you had once believed he would never fall. “All you have to do is tell me where Kenobi is.”

“You know I would never betray Obi-Wan, Anakin.” You told him and watched as he took a step closer to you, towering over you but you forced yourself to meet the helmet.

“I am not Anakin.” He told you, anger clear in his tone and you couldn’t help the sad smile that pulled at your lips.

“You will always be Anakin Skywalker to me.” You said softly before you were slammed into a wall by the Force, Vader doing nothing more than pinning you against it. “And for what it’s worth, I never gave up on you. No matter how lost you are, no matter how far you stray from everything you once believed in, I never gave up on you, not when I saw what had become of the Padawans, not when the order was given for the Clones to kill us. I still believe in Anakin Skywalker.”

Vader stayed silent, the only sound in the room was that of his breathing, heavy through the helmet. You knew you were pushing it, knew this was a dangerous game but you didn’t care, you had to know if Anakin was still there, still believed in the man you had once known, the man you had spent every day loving.

“You are loyal to a dead man.” He told you finally and you felt your eyes close, desperately trying to think of a way to push through the Darkness. “It makes you weak.”

“Lucky for me then because the man I believe in isn’t dead, I know it. The man who held me when my Master was killed, the man who snuck me out of the Temple in the middle of the night because I wanted to see the celebrations, the man who took more beatings and hits than he needed to just so I didn’t get hurt, the man who helped me see the Light when everything seemed so dark during the war. That is the man I believe in and that is the man I know to be alive, to be within you no matter how deeply you have tried to bury him.” You told him, voice shaking and tears filling your eyes but you forced them back, not letting them fall.

This wasn’t about you, this was about bringing Anakin back.

“You can’t tell me this is the life you wanted Anakin. You’re nothing more than Palpatine’s weapon, he ripped everything from you; Padmé, your child, Obi-Wan and me. And for what, Anakin? What did you get out of it that was worth losing everyone?” You keep your voice soft, watching as his fist clenched at his side and you wished so badly you could see his face.

“None of that matters now.” Vader said after a moment of silence and you hated how you couldn’t hear his real voice, how his emotions were hidden through the helmet, robotic and stoic and not giving away anything. “The man you knew is gone, accept it and give up your weak and foolish hope of his return.”

You shook your head, refusing to do as he said. No matter what happened on this ship, even if he killed you, you would die knowing that Anakin was still in there, that one day, maybe not any time soon, Anakin would break through the Darkness surrounding him. Maybe he would break through himself, maybe he would eventually find Obi-Wan hidden away on Tatooine and Obi-Wan would be the one to break through. It didn’t matter how it happened, all that mattered was that you truly believed it would.

“I will never give up hope for Anakin Skywalker.” You told him, standing straighter and looking at the helmet, his anger and annoyance clear even without the Force helping up and the helmet covering him.

“Enough.” He said, using the Force to lift you off the ground again back still pressed against the wall. “I have grown tired of listening to you talk about a dead man, your pathetic attachment to him makes you weak. You could have joined me, Y/N, you could have joined me. Instead you keep your loyalties to a man long dead and a man who will die at my hands.”

Even though you’d been through worse pain, worse torture, suddenly this felt like the most painful thing you had ever experience, the worst kind of pain imaginable, a type of pain that made you cold and empty inside. There was no fear but something shifted around the two of you and you could practically see the thick Darkness clinging to Anakin.

You knew he was so far into it, knew the chances of you leaving this alive were slim to none and yet somehow you weren’t scared. The thing you felt most was your absolute heartbreak as you faced what had become of the man you loved but you knew he’d come back.

He had to.

“You have tested my patience long enough,” He snarled, stepping closer until there was no distance between you. “Now, you will tell me where Kenobi is!”

As he spoke he raised his hand, stopping you from taking breaths and you could feel his phantom grip tightening on you with each second. You stared at him, stared into the helmet that hid his face from you and knew you were going to die but you were not going to die betraying Obi-Wan or Anakin’s children.

“Anakin,” You choked out, voice a broken whisper as you felt yourself getting lightheaded, “I know you’re still in there, I know you can hear me even if you’re not ready to right now.” It was hard to speak, throat closed up and his grip only got tighter with your words. “I know this isn’t you, it can’t be, not after everything. You will find your way back one day, I know you will and you have to know, even with whatever happens today, I never gave up on you.” Your vision was going bleary as you forced yourself to stay conscious. “I love you, Anakin Skywalker, always have, always believed in you.”

Your words were barely audible at the end, his grip on your throat too tight to breath by now and the last thing you saw before your vision blacked out was the helmet of Vader, emotionless and betraying nothing as you choked out something unintelligible before letting your eyes fall closed.

Vader let go of you, let your body fall to the ground. He walked away, desperately trying to ignore the feeling deep inside of him, buried under a mountain of Darkness, that felt guilty, felt heartbroken and angry. Your final words were a declaration of love, a promise that you had always believed in him.

He stormed out of the room, fists clenched at his side as he forced down that part of him, the part that was Anakin Skywalker, no matter how much he denied it. You had been right, not that he would ever admit it but Anakin Skywalker had always been there, a weakness to Vader. He had thought he had destroyed every bit of Anakin Skywalker, thought he had rid himself of such a weakness but then you had come along and reignited the tiny bit of Light in him that he had never been able to kill.

But now you were dead and there was nobody left in the whole galaxy that believed in him. You were dead by his hands and even though your dying words would never leave Vader’s mind, no matter how much he tried to forget them, there was no hope left in the galaxy for him.

That hope had lived and died with you.

________

Darth Vader Taglist /

@heyitsaloy​, @f-sant​

You Look Like a Museum to Me

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Prompts - “You’re extra beautiful when you talk about this. You know you’re good at it, and that knowledge lights you up.”

Notes -  I know absolutely nothing about ancient Egypt so if anything is wrong, just go with it.

Steven fiddled with the ends of his sleeves nervously as he glanced in the mirror, seeing nothing but Marc’s slightly amused eyes looking back at him as he watched him panic over his first date with you. Despite being reassured a dozen times that he had this, that you liked him just as much as he liked you, despite all of Marc’s comforting words he still couldn’t get rid of the pit of nerves in his stomach.

“You’re gonna be fine,” Marc told him again, not even annoyed at the amount of assurance Steven needed today. It was nice watching Steven with you, watching how flustered he got and feeling how happy he was. “You’re taking her to the museum, right, giving her a tour?”

“Yeah,” Steven sighed, nodding as he wiped his slightly sweaty palms against his pants, “Yeah, she wanted a tour of the museum.”

“Then you’re gonna be just fine, you know everything about that stuff, you’ll blow her away.” Marc smiled as Steven laughed nervously before checking his appearance one last time and grabbing his bag, one more deep breath and he turned away from the mirror.

After a quick goodbye to the fish Steven was heading out the door, just about managing to catch the bus and making his way to the museum. Marc was right, if there was one thing he knew it was this, how many times had he dreamed about giving this tour and now he got to give it to you.  

Asking you on a date had been nerve wracking, even after everything that had happened lately somehow asking a pretty woman out on a date felt scarier than any of it. Marc had laughed, not in a mean way, more in a fondly exasperated way and encouraged Steven to ask you out, went back and forth with him all night with different ways to ask you and different dates that were ideal for the first one. 

“I know this stuff, I’ve got this.” Steven muttered to himself as he got off the bus, not even noticing the side glances he received from strangers. Marc did and it showed when Steven glanced in a window to see Marc standing with a fond smile.

“I’m right with you buddy.” Marc said as Steven walked up the steps of the museum and found that the words eased his nerves a bit and he took one final deep breath to steady himself before he walked through the doors. 

He spotted you straight away, of course he did, even with the children darting back and forth, the tourists looking every which way, the school group that stood huddled together, somehow Steven missed all of them but managed to see you. You were focused on one of the figures, reading the small plaque in front of it as Steven stood still in his spot, more than content to watch you for a moment. 

“She really is stunning.” Steven mumbled, whether to himself or to Marc, even he didn’t know. His eyes were still locked on you as Marc rolled his eyes fondly from his place in the reflection of a glass barrier before he took control for half a second in order to get Steven moving. 

Steven stumbled slightly but managed to catch himself, shooting Marc a glare but Marc just smiled and gestured for him to make his way over to you. 

He took a steadying breath, feeling both more nervous and at ease at seeing you before he finally did as Marc advised and forced his feet forward until he was looking over your shoulder and humming as he saw just what you were looking at. 

“Ah,” Steven said from behind you, causing you to jump slightly before you turned around, a smile spreading across your face and eyes lighting up as you met Steven’s gaze, “that there is Set. Bit of a knob actually.”

“Oh really?” You asked, not even attempting to stop the laugh that escaped you, completely unaware of how the sound momentarily stunned Steven before he shook himself and swore he would do whatever he had to to keep hearing you laugh.

“Oh yeah, completely mental really, I mean what other word is there for dismembering your own brother and having a fish eat his-“ here Steven cut himself off, already berating himself over his words but then he saw your smile widen and your whole body turned to him, giving him all your attention, your head tilting as he paused. 

He could see Marc in the reflection behind you, the reassuring smile on his face telling Steven that he hadn’t messed up, he could do this. 

“Probably best to start a story from the beginning though, eh?” He continued, encouraged by your nod, smile having yet to fade and attention still solely on him. “Well, Set used to be a hero, people called upon him for all sorts, a protector in life and death but what really made him a hero was saving Ra, the sun god, meant he had made sure the sun would continue to rise. But by the time of the New Kingdom, Set gets a bit jealous, now I don’t know about you but when I’m jealous I don’t go around murdering people but maybe that’s just me.” 

Steven paused as you laughed again, trying to commit the sound to memory before he continued.

“See Set was jealous of Osiris, jealous of the fact big brother was the ruler of Egypt and he wasn’t. It wasn’t just Set killing his brother that was odd though it was the way he did it, instead of, you know, just murdering him quietly Set throws this party, one of those fancy ones, and he brings this casket out after dinner.” The entire time Steven speaks his gaze is locked on you, watching you nod along with his words, expression shifting from smiles to questioning looks and Steven can see the genuine interest on your face, can see that you’re actually listening to what he has to say, listening to him ramble about something he liked. 

Steven couldn’t remember a time when somebody had just let him speak, let him share his interest with them without interrupting him or making a disparaging comment before brushing him off. He had known you were something special from the moment he had met you, hell actually from the moment his eyes had locked onto you but this, this moment right here, just confirmed to him how amazing you truly were, a one of a kind girl he had somehow been lucky enough to meet.

“A casket?” You asked, Steven chuckling at the face you pulled, eyebrows drawn together, nose scrunched up and lips twisting into a grimace.

“Weird right? Well after he brought out the casket he had each of the guests attempt to climb into it but none of them could fit. When it comes to Osiris’ turn, well guess who fits in the casket? Osiris does and when he does get in, that's when Set comes along and slams the casket shut, poor bugger was trapped in the thing all the while Set threw him in the Nile.”

You were more than content to continue standing in front of the glass protected figure listening to Steven as he told you the story about the god it was based on, happy to watch as his hands gestured around as he spoke, observe how his entire face seemed to light up as he got to teach you something, watch Steven be at his most confident as his knowledge seemed to give him a boost. It wasn’t a drastic change, it was only noticeable if you were paying attention, he still fiddled with the edges of his sleeves, still tugged on the strap of his bag but he seemed lighter, completely in his element as he spoke without fumbling over his words and it was a side that you guessed many people didn’t get to see, whether it was due to Steven not showing it or other people not giving him a chance to.

When Steven finished talking he saw your face soften, it was almost of fond expression with something else he couldn’t quite place and it made him smile sheepishly at you, an apology on the tip of his tongue, almost on instinct, for rambling on. He nearly had the words out when you interrupted him and your words almost made his heart ache with happiness.

“So what happened to the brother, did he just die?” You asked him. 

Steven felt his smile widen, not only had you put up with his rambling but here you were asking questions, wanting him to keep talking. It was such a rare thing that all he could do was smile at you, completely and utterly captivated by you. 

He really hoped he wouldn’t mess this up, he was already so gone for you and it was only your first date. Steven hoped to any god that might be listening that there were many more dates to come.

“Well the casket floats down the Nile for a bit before it washes up on the shore and this tree, the tamarisk tree, sprouted up to protect it. The tree was so beautiful that the King and Queen of Byblos cut it down and had it brought to their court. Osiris had a wife, Isis and she tracked Osiris down and managed to get his corpse back, all the while Set’s in Egypt and ruling as King, not a good one mind you, he switched between storms and droughts because he was the god of not only war and chaos but also storms, the people ended up turning on each other just to survive, told you he was a knob.” Steven said, pausing to let your laugh wash over him as he moved his hands to play with the ends of his sleeves once he realised he had been gesturing wildly between the two of you.

“Sounds like he was a bit more than a knob.” You laughed and Steven couldn’t stop the bright smile that spread across his face. “So what, Set just kills his brother and gets to rule Egypt? And Isis managed to retrieve his corpse?”

“Yeah, she gets his corpse back and hides the two of them again in some swampy marshes of the Nile. Once they were back though Set found out and started tracking them down. Isis knew of some herbs that could bring Osiris back and she asks for help to watch the body. When Isis is out though Set comes along and tricks Nephthys into telling him where Osiris was hidden, after he found him he went about hacking his body to pieces,” Steven paused, watching as you scrunched your face in disgust again, hoping he hadn’t put you off but you were still looking at him expectantly so he carried on, not giving himself another moment to doubt himself, “Once Isis was back she and Nephthys went about collecting all the body parts to put him back together but his, um, well a certain part of him was missing, well actually it was eaten by a fish which, you know, bit gross.”

“It was actually eaten by a fish?” You couldn’t help but laugh as Steven nodded, a bright smile still firmly in place as he chuckled along with you. “So that was it then for Osiris?”

“Well since he was incomplete he couldn’t return to the land of the living and instead became the lord of the underworld and god of the death and I can tell you that Osiris doesn’t mess around when he’s judging where you’ll spend eternity.” Steven told you, his tone filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite put your finger on and his eyes shifted just over your shoulder to look at the statue of Set. 

Steven's eyes shifted to look at the reflection in the glass casing, distracted by Marc’s amused snort that you obviously couldn’t hear, his own smile spreading into a grin as he focused on you again.

“You say that like you have experience.” You laughed and watched him laugh along with you. “So what happens to Set then, he’s the King, right?”

“For a bit, yeah but Osiris actually had a son, Horus, who battled Uncle Set for control of Egypt. The two of them went before the Great Ennead and were given contests to battle against each other. Turns out Set wasn’t very good, actually he was complete rubbish and lost every battle against Horus.” Steven explained and felt his chest warm as you interrupted him but in a way that was so different to how others usually did. 

“So Horus became King then?” You asked, unable to stop yourself. 

In all honesty Ancient Egypt wasn’t something you sought out yourself, you appreciated it and it was interesting but you had never been too eager to seek knowledge out about it yourself. However when Steven was the one talking about it, telling you the stories that matched the figures you were captivated, completely hooked on his every word, and wanted him to tell you everything he knew.

“You’d think wouldn’t you but no, actually, Set reigned for over eighty years because Ra refused to vote that Horus should be the King and because the decision had to be unanimous Set was free to be King.” Steven told you, physically feeling himself fall for you more and more as the seconds passed as you frowned, mirroring his expression when he had first read the information from one of his many books.

It wasn’t until he looked behind you that he saw a group of school children making their way from one of the figures over to the one the two of you had been blocking for a while now. You looked questioningly over at him before following his gaze, eyes widening as the teacher gave the two of you an annoyed look causing you to bite your lip and look over at Steven, a grin breaking out across both your faces as he took your arm in his and pulled you along, the two of you laughing as you leaned into each other.

Making your way further into the museum, laughs fading off as conversation filled its place Steven found himself glancing down, your arms still tangled together despite the fact that they didn’t need to be. Steven was thankful you hadn’t let go of him, he was more than happy to stay attached to you the whole way around the museum.

“Steven?” You prompted softly when the man had remained silent at your question, his gaze on you but clearly having missed you speaking.

“Sorry love,” he apologised softly and you couldn’t ignore how your stomach seemed to fill with butterflies at the word love. It sounded beautiful coming from Steven, sounded genuine and not meant an attempt to flirt that would ultimately leave you uncomfortably trying to get away from somebody. 

You really wanted him to call you love again. 

The two of you made your way around the museum, Steven rambling on happily about each of the different things that were on display but he found himself stumbling over his words at some points, your entire attention focused only on him, expression so open and he could happily stare at you all day. When he watched you mouthing along as you read from the plaques attached to the displays or when your eyebrows knitted together when you didn’t quite understand something and you would turn to look up at him questioningly, it was only with Marc’s helpful calling of his name and quick repeating of the question that he was able to stammer out an answer, memorising the way your face light up as you listened to him.

He had never made somebody smile like that, like the way you were smiling, he had never had that kind of smile directed at him and he most certainly had never been the reason somebody’s whole face seemed to light up or made somebody laugh in the way he made you, a genuine laugh that made his stomach flutter and took his breath away.

Even as he was surrounded by some of the most beautiful pieces and ancient displays that would usually occupy his attention for hours, they all seemed dull when compared to you standing next to them. Steven found he would much rather look at you, learn everything there was to know about you, than anything that was in this building.

You were as equally as distracted as Steven was, completely captivated by everything about the man, by the way he spoke, even when he did stammer over his words as he was pulled from his thoughts, how his arm felt still tangled with yours, how his eyes seemed to light up every time he looked at you. You had never felt so much for one person so fast, never realised how quickly you could fall for somebody and yet here stood Steven Grant seemingly on a mission to see how fast he could make you fall for him. 

The date lasted hours and yet it still didn’t feel long enough when the two of you stood just past the museum steps, reluctant to pull away from each other but having no other choice as you were getting ready to say goodbye, heading home in opposite directions.

“Thank you for today, I had a bloody brilliant time.” Steven told you, a smile on his face as you laughed softly, nodding in agreement with his words.

“So did I,” You said honestly, “I hope we can do it again?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’d love to, absolutely.” Steven’s smile spread into a grin and you couldn’t stop yourself from mirroring the expression, face almost aching from how much the man made you smile.

“Good, I can’t wait.” As you spoke you looked up, feeling rain begin to fall from the grey clouds above and looked at Steven. “We should probably get home before it really starts.”

“Good idea,” he laughed, seeming to hesitate for a moment before he nodded and stepped closer to you, giving you time to pull away. When you stayed as you were Steven smiled before leaning forward but instead of going for the kiss like you thought he would, he instead placed the softest kiss to your cheek before pulling away with a shy smile. “Let me know you got home safe, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agreed quietly, somehow the soft kiss to the cheek flustered you more than you thought a normal kiss would but thankfully Steven seemed as flustered as you. “I’ll see you soon.”

“God, I hope so.” You heard Steven mumble to himself after you had turned away and taken a few steps away from him, a soft laugh leaving you, fully agreeing with the sentiment and making your way home with a smile on your face even as the rain fell down on you, completely ready for your next date with Steven Grant. 

___________

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I'll Be There

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Prompts - "Are you hurt?"

It had taken years for a Master to take you on as their Padawan, most had heard the rumours that you took the Jedi Code as more of a suggestion than a set of rules to live by, they knew you let yourself feel things more deeply than was allowed and you seemed to form an attachment to anybody you came across. No Master wanted to take on your responsibility, no Master wanted to be defeated by a Padawan, knowing that you would never change how you saw the world.

It wasn’t a surprise to any of the Master’s when Obi-Wan was the one to take you on as his Padawan a few years after Anakin had been knighted, nobody was surprised at all. If Obi-Wan had managed to survive Anakin Skywalker, had managed to raise and train that boy into a Jedi Knight then there was no doubt he could train you, the man’s patience would truly be tested. 

You hadn’t wanted a Master, hadn’t wanted somebody who thought they could change everything about you, hadn’t wanted to be around another person who would give you disappointed looks and sighs of disapproval every time you expressed emotions. You’d heard all about Obi-Wan though, of course you had, he was a hero in the war, he was The Negotiator. You knew how admired he was, how desperately so many Padawan’s wanted him to be their Master and for some reason he had chosen you.

There had been many times where you had considered your own future, wondered why you remained in the Order when every day you saw it stray further and further from what it was supposed to be. You figured you were waiting for something to change, every time you meditated on it, it felt like the Force was pleading with you to stick around a little longer, to wait it out, whispers of promises and a bright future, one without pain and devastation, one where a faceless figure wasn’t crying out in pain, surrounded by flames and burning and pain and loss. 

The Force liked to show you the future in the worst way possible, you could never make it out. The Force Visions always hit you hard, always seemed to speak to you, of the fact that you had the ability to change not only the outcome of the war but also the outcome of the future of the galaxy. Why it trusted you with these visions you didn’t know, sometimes you wished you had never seen them, at least then you could have left the Order, put your abilities towards something good, to actually helping people instead of being trained to fight in a war.

You were one of the eldest Padawan’s without a Master but it didn’t bother you, you hadn’t needed a Master. You spent all your free time learning, there was always something new to learn and you were determined to be as good as you could be, Master or no Master.

When you were told Obi-Wan was to be your new Master you knew it would mean being thrust into the heart of the war. It hadn’t scared you, you knew you were good and could defend yourself and those around you but you were anxious, you had never left Coruscant since you had arrived, had never actually been in battle before outside of make believe ones set up in the Temple.

Obi-Wan was kind, that was the first word that seemed to come to mind when you met him. He was soft spoken and listened intently as you spoke about your training. He had a few days leave in order to meet you and see where you were up to and hadn’t wasted a moment. The first day you met he had you in one of the training rooms, the two of you duelling until Obi-Wan tucked his lightsaber away and regarded you with an impressed look before inviting you to meditate with him.

As connected with the Force as you where you had rarely mediated with another person, you could count the number of times you had on one hand. Usually it was a difficult task compared to being alone, you struggled to sink into a peaceful state, too aware of others around you but when sat across from Obi-Wan you found it was easier. You could feel his Force signature but unlike everyone else’s it wasn’t distracting, instead it was inviting, the Force telling you that you could trust him and so you let yourself sink down into the feeling of the Force and let your mind wander.

From there it had been easy to allow Obi-Wan into your life, he was the first person you had met who didn’t seem to judge or criticise you. You actually liked being around him, not only for the comfort his Force signature gave off, calming you down easily, but because he treated you like you were normal, he was there with gentle words and soft solutions, easy smiles, and a welcoming pat on the shoulder. It made the shift from the temple to being in the middle of a war easier.

Then there was his former Padawan.

You had met Anakin on your first day leaving the Temple, Obi-Wan’s time on leave coming to an end which meant your time at the Temple was too coming to an end. Obi-Wan had led you to a ship and your eyes widened at just how many clones were there, all working on loading the ship. Obi-Wan had told you that two battalions would be coming on the latest mission, his own was the 212th and Anakin’s battalion the 501st. 

He scanned the area before he found who he was looking for and you watched as an easy smile spread across his face before he gestured for you to follow him. You hadn’t been looking where you were going, too focused on your surroundings that you bumped into Obi-Wan causing you to snap around to him, a sheepish look on your face causing him to chuckle before he turned back to the young man in front of him. 

Your breath almost caught in your throat, of course you’d seen pictures of this man, his face was slapped across the city, the Hero With No Fear, and yet somehow you weren’t prepared to come face to face with him. He was beautiful, truly and utterly beautiful, he was a man whose company you could spend hours in, memorising every part of his face until you knew it like the back of your hand.

You had never particularly held the Jedi Code in the highest of regards, you found it easy to fall in love, you fell in love with the way a stranger laughed, fell in love with how children danced around the markets without a care in the world, oblivious to the war beyond the planet, you fell in love with everything. You formed attachments to things just as easily as you fell in love, the young girl you had saved by scarring of traffickers and she had insisted on buying you a sweet treat, the two of you laughing enough to forget how you had ended up there, the sweet twi'lek child who you had helped calm and reunite with his parents, the healer at the Temple who always smiled at you each time you went to her after a bad training session that left you with more cuts and bruises than you could even recall.

Even if you had followed the Code down to each letter you truly believed that one meeting with Anakin Skywalker, one flash of that easy going but charming grin he was shooting you now, would be enough for you to turn your back on it all together. You knew he played fast and loose with the Code too and hoped that it would work in your favour. 

For now though you shook your head slightly, forcing your attention back to the present as Obi-Wan introduced you to Anakin.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N.” He grinned, reaching out and placing his hand on your shoulder. You were sure you felt the Force singing with happiness around you at the small touch but it could have just been you. “Good luck with Obi-Wan here as your Master.”

You laughed at the look Obi-Wan gave Anakin, one that spoke of many years of friendship even as he tried to look annoyed.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” You smiled, voice soft as you felt shyness running through you and Anakin must have sensed it too as his grin softened to a smile and he squeezed your shoulder gently before pulling away.

You missed his touch already.

With another shake of your head and a mental command to pull yourself together you followed Obi-Wan and Anakin into the ship, being introduced to different clones along the way and doing your best to remember them. 

It wasn’t long after that you were in the air and leaving the planet, two Clones coming up to greet Anakin and Obi-Wan and you were introduced to them, Captain Rex and Commander Cody. You had smiled at them, both of them greeting you formally causing you to smile, you weren’t anybody important and yet they still stood straighter as they addressed you.

The journey only lasted a few hours and you spent most of the time trying to keep out of the way as the two Jedi, two clones and the Admiral who all stood around a holomap and discussed different strategies and entry points. 

“Nervous?” Somebody asked suddenly causing you to jump before turning to see Anakin stood next to you, a smile on his face.

“Is it that noticeable?” You asked, watching as his smile grew wider and you couldn’t stop yourself from mirroring the expression.

“You’ve got Obi-Wan to protect you, don’t worry he won’t let anything happen to you, neither will any of the men and of course, I’ll be there. The first mission is always hard though.” He told you, completely unaware that his words of comfort had made your heartbeat faster and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t slow it. “Just stay close and make sure you don’t wander too far off.”

“I think I can manage that.” You told him with a grin and tried to memorise the sound of his laugh, watching how his face seemed to light up.

One of the clones announced that you would be landing in a matter of minutes and Anakin turned to you, his grin fading into an encouraging smile as he reached over to rest his hand on your shoulder again, giving it a gentle squeeze before he led you over to Obi-Wan who smiled at the two of you.

Your first mission had gone…well it hadn’t gone great but it also wasn’t terrible. Even as you followed Anakin’s advice you still ended up nursing a broken arm from where you had been surrounded by battle droids after Obi-Wan had told you to stay hidden where you were whilst him and clones from the 212th handled the droids. 

You had fared well enough on your own for a while, able to hold off and destroy the few that had surrounded you but when more spotted the lone Jedi it hadn’t been long until you were outnumbered and as confident as you were with your skills you hadn’t been trained for real life situations and it was definitely more overwhelming than you’d originally thought.

One had managed to sneak up on you and sent you flying into one of the many tall rocks surrounding you and you’d managed to land funny on your good arm sending a shooting pain through you that had you crying out. You couldn’t let yourself focus on it though, not as the droids surrounded you and you forced yourself up, ignoring the burning pain and focused on the droids.

Thankfully the 501st caught up to Obi-Wan’s battalion pretty quickly and before you could register it Anakin had jumped over the droids, moving so he was back to back with you and throwing you a grin over his shoulder.

“Jumping right in then, huh, Y/N?” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but smile back at him, even with the ache in your arm as you waved your lightsaber through two droids.

“I like a challenge.” You grinned right back before the two of you focused your attentions on the fighter droids, you finding it was much easier to deal with them once you had a bit of back up.

You and Anakin dealt with them easily enough after that, the two of you surrounded by broken droid parts just as Obi-Wan showed up and looked at the mess. Anakin slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close to him as he led you over to Obi-Wan whilst the troopers made their way to the building that had been taken over by Separatists.

“She did well out there, Obi-Wan.” Anakin said, smiling down at you and you desperately tried to not let it show just how much this closeness was affecting you, how the feel of his arm around you, holding you close would be a feeling you would try to remember for a long time.

“Are you alright?” Obi-Wan asked softly, looking you up and down as to check for injuries.

You knew the mission wasn’t over yet, knew that there were more droids inside to deal with and you wanted to help, you didn’t want to be benched on your first mission. So you ignored the pain in your arm and nodded at the man.

“I’m fine, Master.” You told him and watched as he looked at you for a second longer before nodding back and gesturing for you and Anakin to follow the troopers into the building.

Anakin only removed his arm from your shoulder when more droids appeared but he made sure to keep you close to him, positioning himself so he was taking on the brunt of the droids, members of his battalion coming over to help. You forced yourself to focus, there would be plenty of time to let your thoughts wander about Anakin later but now you were in the middle of a battle.

With the number of clones and having three Jedi it wasn’t a long battle against the droids, though it felt longer as more and more seemed to flood from different doors, and eventually the control of the building, as well as the planet was back with the Republic. 

You were glad that the battle was done, your arm was aching, shooting pains ran up and down it and when you peaked under your sleeve you winced at how swollen and bruised it was already. Thankfully you knew it would be a quick fix once you got back to Coruscant but you had no idea if you were even going back there or if Obi-Wan had another mission planned already.

Anakin finished talking to one of the clones before he scanned the room, you watched as his eyes locked onto you and he shot you a grin as he made his way over to you, not hesitating to wrap his arm around your shoulder again, this time brushing against your arm causing you to wince and he pulled back immediately.

“Are you hurt?” He asked, his eyes scanning you up and down much like Obi-Wan had before.

“It’s nothing.” You told him, trying to brush it off but he caught your hand in his gently and you forced yourself to stay still, to not react.

Anakin carefully pulled your sleeve up, pausing to look up at you apologetically when you winced again only to wince himself as he saw your bruised and swollen arm.

“Ouch.” He hissed, his thumb brushing soothingly across your knuckles causing you to smile softly. “Come one, Kix will fix you right up once we’re back on the ship.” 

You smiled over at him as he pulled you along with him, your hand fitting in his like it was part of a puzzle piece and you tried to keep the smile off your face, tried to stop yourself from glancing down to memorise how his fingers looked tangled in yours but you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander.

Even when the two of you got back to the ship and Anakin led you over to a clone, Kix, your mind supplied, he didn’t leave you even though you knew he was supposed to be with Obi-Wan reporting back to the Council. He sat by your side and kept a hold of your good hand, letting his thumb brush across your knuckles, until Kix had patched you up, smiling at you and warning you to take it easy as you left.

You knew from that day something had changed, the Force around you seemed to soar when you and Anakin were near each other, practically buzzing with happiness whenever you touched. It was like something significant had happened, something you weren’t even aware of and you didn’t question it, if it meant that having Anakin around then you weren’t complaining.

___________________

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A World We Can Call Our Own

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Prompts - anon - 79 - “Do you remember when we skipped school and found this place?” “Yeah, I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.” & 91 - ‘Would you lay with me and just forget the world?’ & 99 - Interlocking pinky fingers.

The grounds of Hogwarts were no strangers to explorers, excited children trying to discover all the hiding places and secrets of the both the castle and its grounds. Yet despite the decades and decades worth of children trying to discover each hiding spot there were still more places than could be counted that had yet to be found.

There were places that should never have even been findable to witches and wizards, places that were so well hidden it should have been impossible to find and yet somehow, somehow two second year students had found one of the grounds best kept hideaways. Not only had they found it so many years ago but they returned often enough that it became their own space.

One of them was having a bad day? The two of them could be found together, backs against the beautifully green grass littered with pastel colours. One of them received good news? The two of them could be found together, huge grins on their faces as they sat close enough together that their shoulders brushed and an unmentioned blush spread across both their cheeks. One of them was struggling with a class? The two of them could be found together, books spread out on the grass, ink stains on their hands and their heads bent together as the other patiently talked through the material.

The land that hadn’t been walked since before Hogwarts was built had now been claimed by two teenagers who shared every special moment together in the place that had become theirs.

“What’s wrong?” You heard James ask but didn’t look away from the letter in your hands as you sat on the ledge of the astronomy tower, feeling James take a seat next to you.

You didn’t answer him, you couldn’t answer him so instead you handed over the latest letter of disappointment from your parents and continued to sit in the silence that seemed less suffocating now that James was sitting beside you.

“I’m sorry,” James frowned as he read, hating how your parents were able to bring your mood down with one little letter - between yours and Sirius’ parents nobody was winning parent of the year awards.

“Don’t be,” you sighed, turning so that your head rested on his shoulder, smiling when his head softly lay against yours. “You think I’d be used to this, right? I mean I’ve been getting these letters since first year.”

“I’m sorry.” James said again and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you shook your head slightly.

For years you’d let the letters and the arguments drag you down all because your family saw you as a disappointment for being sorted into Gryffindor and for years James had been the one to comfort you every time without fail.

“Come on,” He said after several moments of silence, nudging his shoulder against yours as he lifted his head. You looked up at him questioningly, squinting against the sun that shone brightly behind him causing him to grin down at you as he held a hand out for you.

You didn’t hesitate to slide your hand into his and let him pull you up. Despite the fact hand holding wasn’t a new thing between you and James, hell James had been holding your hand since your first day at Hogwarts as he watched you watch name after name and house after house get announced. The fear was clear across your face and James held your hand right up until he was forced to let go and took it straight back in his as you sat down next to him, pale faced and terrified. Despite all that, the familiar feeling of his hand in yours never failed to make your stomach fill with a thousand butterflies.

You let James lead you down the many steps of the astronomy tower and all the way through the castle until you were heading out of the front entrance, a small but genuine smile tugging at your lips as you realised exactly where he was taking you. It was no surprise of course, the two of you practically lived there. It was a surprise that other people had never found the place that had become so special to you, a place where there were no expectations, no family rules and honour, nothing but a place to just be yourself with James.

It didn’t matter to either of you that lunch was almost over and you had double potions in only a few minutes. The only thing that mattered was being together in a place that hid you away from the rest of the world, a place where only the two of you existed.

The walk to your quiet corner of the world was long but peaceful and the two of you took your time, climbing up rocky hills and ducking under untamed vines, hands never leaving each other as you walked side by side. Neither of you said anything but unlike the silence back at the astronomy tower, this silence was nice, it was comfortable. This silence was the kind of silence few people ever got to experience, a silence where no words needed to be spoken, where the silence didn’t need to be filled because the others presence was enough.

It was the kind of silence that came with years worth of friendship, the kind of silence that came with years worth of affection and years worth of feelings that blossomed every single day.

You and James had been fast friends, James immediately pulling you into his carriage on the train, misinterpreting the fear on your face for first day nerves rather than fears of disownment but still you had let yourself be distracted by him, let his smile soothe you and his words push the fear away as you laughed along with what he said.

That first night in the common room, long after everyone had gone to bed you remained downstairs, sitting on the floor with your back pressed to the sofa. It wasn’t until James joined you, with no words to make you laugh or a smile to make you giggle, that a single tear fell down your face. James didn’t offer false words of comfort, instead he sat with you in silence, not awkward or uneasy but comfortable and despite the fact that no words were exchanged that night you knew James Potter was going to be your best friend.

And you were right, Merlin, how right you were.

James Potter was your best friend, inseparable from first year onwards and it wasn’t a shock to anyone as you confessed to your closest friends outside of each other that you liked the other. You remembered clearly sitting in the girls dorm, everyone sat on their beds talking about boys and when they turned to you they didn’t need your flustered confession to know that you had feelings for James, just like Sirius, Remus and Peter didn’t need James to tell them that he liked you.

It was quite possibly the worst kept secret at Hogwarts.

Yet years went by and still neither you or James were brave enough to bring the topic up. It was almost an unspoken agreement to keep things the way they were because it was enough, the bond you had with each other was rare, it was something that most people spent their whole lives looking for and few truly found. Why risk messing with something that was already perfect?

Of course, that was easy to think but some days it was almost suffocating how badly you wanted James. How easy it would be to lean over and press your lips to his and sometimes you moved to do it so casually that it was hard to stop yourself. It was a position James too had found himself in more times than he could even recall at this point.

It was how he’d found himself in the boy’s bedroom, coming up with a plan with the others. A plan that would see the two of you finally together because James couldn’t deal with another year of keeping his feelings to himself. He couldn’t deal with another year of sitting in the common room, fire blazing in front of the sofas, his closest friends surrounding him and you tucked up beneath his arm, head resting on his chest and on occasion falling asleep where you lay.

And they had come up with a plan. It was a good plan too, one involving a trip to Hogsmeade and ending with the two of you together. But for some reason as he spoke through it with his friends, something didn’t feel right about it and now as he walked through the opening of his place with you he realised exactly what it was that was wrong.

How could he ask you out anywhere but the safe haven that seemed to have been created solely for the two of you?

The trees stood tall, each of them blocking the outside world away without making either of you feel closed in. The beautiful pastel pinks that hung over top of you from the weeping cherry tree, the pink blending in with the greens and the purples from the jacaranda tree. There was a clearing through the trees that seemed to stretch on for miles, beautifully green grass turning into crystal clear water well off into the distance.

Despite the amount of times you’d walked over the flowers that seemed to cover the grass, despite how many times you had both lay against the soft ground, the flowers sat perfectly, no proof that they had ever been disrupted.

What better place was there for James to finally, finally, ask you out?

Now all that was left to do was figure out how to make his move.

The two of you quickly found yourself in a familiar position, laying next to each other, eyes on the sky that could be seen despite the mess of trees. A position that right now was exactly what you needed because there was no better cure than laying with James and forgetting about the rest of the world.

“Do you remember,” You finally spoke softly, continuing to stare up ahead even as James’ head turned in your direction, looking at a face he had long since memorised, “when we skipped school and found this place?”

You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you listened to James laugh. It was a sound you pulled from him easily and you were glad for it because the sound never failed to send a warm feeling through you.

“Yeah,” James answered, a bright smile on his own face as he nodded over to one of the trees not too far away, watching as you began to laugh too. “I broke my leg right over there trying to impress you.”

“I wouldn’t say I was impressed.” You told him, turning your gaze to the tree, the memory of a twelve year old James insisting that he could climb the tall tree to pluck a flower that bloomed from it.

Of course he hadn’t been able to do it, instead of watching him retrieve the flower, you watched as he stood tall on the tree branch, ignoring your calls to be careful, only to lose his footing and end up tumbling backwards off the branch and landing on the floor with a sickening crunch.

“You were impressed.” James told you, trying to maintain his serious expression but a side eyed glance from you had him grinning despite himself. “I know you were impressed that I managed to grab the flower.”

At that you couldn’t stop the smile on your face softening as you remembered the rest of the memory from that day because the idiot hadn’t even seemed bothered about the pain, hadn’t seemed to care that he had just broken his leg. No, instead he grinned up at you and held a slightly crumpled white flower in his fist out to you.

A flower you still kept safely tucked away in your trunk to this day.

“I still have it, you know?” You told him, turning away from the tree to look at him, watching as his grin fell and his eyes widened.

“You kept it?” He asked, voice quiet as he turned so he faced you completely, supporting his weight on one arm and watching as you nodded.

“You broke your leg getting it for me, of course I kept it.” You watched as a disbelieving smile made its way onto his face and he let out a huff of laughter as he looked at you in amazement.

He was so utterly and irretrievably in love with you.

And just like that all plans went out of the window as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. You didn’t even hesitate to kiss him back, moving your lips against his felt as natural as anything, it felt like it was something you had been doing for years.

It was definitely something you should have been doing for years because as much as you hated to describe it as such it was like all the cliches rolled into one, the fireworks, the butterflies, the rest of the world fading into nothing. It was almost overwhelming and when the two of you finally pulled away, James resting his forehead against yours as you both gasped for air, neither of you could stop the smiles that spread across your faces.

“We should have done that before.” James said eventually causing you to laugh as James’ smile only seemed to grow at the sound. “We’re definitely doing it from now on.”

“At least ask me on a date first.” You laughed and James leaned down to kiss you again just because he couldn’t stop himself and because he was finally allowed to do it.

And spending the rest of the day in a place that was purely yours and James, finally able to kiss each other as casually as you held hands was a truly magical feeling. There was no need for grand romantic confessions, no need to awkwardly stutter through your feelings for one another because you’d always known how you felt about each other. You’d always known that there was a connection, a bond, a love that ran so deep it could never be broken.

It wasn’t until the sky darkened and your stomachs rumbled that the two of you forced yourself up and that was the hardest part about this place, leaving. It was so easy to get caught up in a world that only existed within the safety of the trees but eventually you had to leave.

The two of you walked side by side, hands brushing against each others until James caught your pinky finger in his and looped them together causing you to look down at the joined fingers before turning to James with a soft smile and feeling nothing but love and happiness running through your veins as he smiled back, all thoughts of letters and misery gone from your head.

______

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