I See You In My Dreams

I See You In My Dreams

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Requsted - Yes, @pokey-hedgehog, I'm so sorry this took so long, hope you enjoy it🤎

Prompts -  Forehead kiss, sleepy hug, "I had a nightmare about you and I wanted to make sure you were okay." & "It'll be alright, it was just a nightmare."

You shot upright in your bed, head spinning at the speed in which you’d shifted from laying down to sitting up. The bedsheets moved with you, falling from your chest to gather around your waist as your fingers buried themselves into the fabric. You could hear the sound of your heart hammering in your chest, the sound seemingly echoing around the whole room and your breaths came out in quick little pants that made you even dizzier.

You knew it had been a nightmare, it was one version of the same nightmare you’d been having for months now, each time it ended the same way even if the events leading up to the outcome differed.

Usually you were able to calm down, able to control your breathing and ground yourself with reality. Usually waking up after this nightmare had you lying awake for an hour or so before you finally drifted off again but tonight was different.

Tonight your brain refused to cooperate with the rational side of things, the side that told you Frank was in the room right next to yours, alive and breathing. Logically you knew he was safe but there was a pit in your stomach, anxiety spreading through your whole body as flashes of Frank’s dead body filled your mind and tears began to fall down your cheeks.

Ever since Frank had unintentionally saved you from the gang you had been sold to years ago you had been in his care, no family to speak of and nowhere to call home. You knew at first Frank hadn’t expected you to live with him but after a few months he had confessed to you one night that he didn’t want you to leave, that you always had a space here, had a place that was home. 

Before he had told you that you were still keeping yourself closed off from the man, of course you soaked up his kind touches and soft words, things you hadn’t experienced in as long as you could remember, but you also didn’t want to get too attached, knowing the man would want you gone as soon as possible. Once he had told you he wanted you to stay things shifted between the two of you, you started seeking out his comfort without him needing to initiate it first, now if you were having a bad day you didn’t feel scared to curl up next to him with your head on his shoulder, waiting for his arm to wrap around you and pull you even closer and talk openly with him. 

Life with Frank was easy, it was nice, and you were so glad he had found you all those months ago.

He hadn’t had an easy time getting you out though, you knew every secret that the gang had, people were quite willing to speak around you, not seeing you as a person so much as a thing to be beat on and snapped at. Frank had you behind him, his jacket covering your body as he shot gang member after gang member. You were so relieved to be finally getting out, to see that these men couldn’t hurt you anymore but when one peaked out from his hiding spot, spotting Frank before Frank saw him and fired bullet after bullet you felt your heart stop and your blood run cold, tears falling faster down your face as you began to mourn both your freedom and the man who hadn’t hesitated to pull you out, to put himself between you and the rain of bullets.

In reality, Frank stumbled back with the force of the bullets but otherwise didn’t seem too concerned as he turned his own gun and fired it once, hitting the man straight away and you could only watch through shocked, bleary eyes as his body slumped to the ground lifelessly. When he moved forward but realised you weren’t following him he turned around in concern and you sobbed in relief as you saw the bullet proof vest, Frank’s eyes softening as he pulled you into his arms and led you out of the building, one hand cupping the back of your head to keep you buried against his chest and not able to see him kill more people. 

In your dreams it was always different versions of the same thing. Sometimes Frank didn’t have the protection of the bulletproof vest, sometimes the gunman aimed for Frank’s head, each time you were frozen to the spot, helpless to do anything but sink to your knees beside the lifeless body and sob into his chest. The dreams became more intense, more real, more terrifying the closer you got to Frank. Losing him when he had first taken you from the gang would have hurt but if it happened now you weren’t so sure you would recover.

Finally the overwhelming anxiety and fear became too much as your head produced image after image of Frank dead in a pool of his own blood and you had to pull yourself from the bed, every inch of your body shaking despite the fact that you felt like you were on fire and beads of sweat pooled on your forehead.

You quickly but quietly made your way out of your bedroom door and over to Frank’s. The door was already left half open, something you knew Frank did to let you know you were welcome at any time, something which you were immensely grateful for now as you slipped through the gap and into his room. 

It was still dark outside but the streetlights casted enough of a glow that you could see Frank lying in bed, unfortunately the blankets covered his chest so you couldn’t just quietly confirm that he was in fact still breathing and slip out again. Instead seeing him so still had more tears sliding down your face and your breathing quickening even though it was already impossibly fast already.

You stepped closer until your legs knocked against the bed and huffed a sigh of relief as Frank shifted before his eyes opened, heavy with sleep before they filled with concern and he sat up, immediately reaching for you, and pulling you down onto the bed with him, his arms wrapping around you and pressing you against his chest. Frank rocked the two of you back and forth in an attempt to calm you down but something about seeing that he was alright seemed to cause your sobs to louden and your breathing to become even more erratic.

“M’sorry, m’sorry,” You managed to choke out between sobs but the man just shushed you, continuing to rock you in his arms.

“None of that now, sweetheart.” Frank murmured, pressing his lips to your temple, and feeling how hot and sweaty the skin was. “You’re alright, I’ve got ya, I got ya, kid.” 

“I had a nightmare,” you sobbed into his chest, somehow forcing the words out even with how much your chest hurt from your sharp breaths, “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m alright, kid, I’m right here, not going anywhere, you don’t gotta worry about that.” Frank told you softly but firmly as his heart ached at seeing his kid in such a state. 

“You’re okay?” You managed to ask again and Frank pulled you back far enough so you could see his face and the soft, comforting smile he gave you.

“I’m okay, ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.” He promised and with those words you sagged against him, Frank felt the tension leave you as you melted into him, gripping his shirt like it was your only lifeline. “Hey, you wanna copy my breathing for me? Deep breaths in and out for me, yeah just like that, attagirl,” Frank praised, feeling himself relax as your breathing finally began to slow into a normal rhythm. “That’s my girl, that’s my girl, good job, you’re okay, I got ya.” 

It felt like it had been hours but finally your breathing was steady, your chest still ached but you could breathe easier now and your sobs had slowed to sniffles as a result of the constant rocking and comforting words being whispered by Frank. 

Now you were just left feeling exhausted and drained, any bit of energy you had had simply disappeared but you still pulled back slightly, not going far but far enough so you could look up at Frank who gave you a soft smile, letting one of his hands come up to wipe at your cheeks softly.

“I saw you die.” You whispered, afraid that saying the words out loud would make them true but instead Frank’s smile widened a small bit and he shook his head.

“I ain’t dying on you, don’t gotta worry about that.” Frank assured you, using the hand on your cheek to guide your head towards him so that he could lean down slightly and press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead which you easily relaxed into, making no move to pull away until he did. “It’ll be alright, it was just a nightmare, you ain’t getting rid of me that easy.” 

The words pulled a laugh out of you that sounded strained but still made Frank’s face light up as he looked down at you and you pulled your arms from where they were trapped between your body and Frank’s to wrap them around his waist, Frank not even hesitating to wrap you in his arms again, holding you close.

You felt your eyes become heavy and found them falling shut as you hugged Frank, one of his hands running up and down your back in a way that made it even easier to relax into him and you couldn't help but cuddle further into him, a smile pulling at your lips as you felt more than heard his chuckle from your place against his chest.

You had figured you weren’t getting any sleep for the rest of the night, figured your emotions would be too all over the place and mind too distracted but by the time Frank was repositioning the two of you so that you were laying down in his bed, you resting more on him than the mattress you found you were already more than halfway asleep and couldn’t find the strength to open your eyes again.

The last thing you felt before you fell asleep was Frank’s lips on your head and his softly murmured assurance that he was ok, that you could sleep now and he’d watch over you before you did as he said and drifted off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep safe in the man’s arms, the steady beat of his heart under your head letting you know he was safe too.

___________________

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You Were My Only Hope

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Angstember Prompt - “For what it’s worth, I never gave up on you."

You had been on your own for a long time now, floating through the galaxy and never staying in one place long enough for anybody to know you, hiding your identity and shutting yourself off from the Force completely whilst trying to push through each lonely day without focusing on the emptiness around you.

Obi-Wan had long since taken off, exiling himself to Tatooine to look after the boy, Anakin’s boy. Some days you almost caved and went to the planet but you weren’t quite sure either you or Obi-Wan were prepared to face your past life just yet. The two of you weren’t the same people you had been all those years ago, Anakin’s downfall and death had taken something from both of you that hadn’t yet been replaced.

You had loved Anakin, had loved him more dearly than anything else. You had been praised for how well you followed the Jedi Code but it wasn’t true, for Anakin Skywalker you broke the Jedi Code everyday even if he never knew. You had known he had a relationship with Padmé, though you hadn’t quite known the extent of it, had no idea they were married, but it didn’t stop you from loving him.

Even though Anakin didn’t love you as you loved him, it didn’t mean he didn’t love you in his own way. The two of you had grown up alongside each other in the Temple, you were Anakin’s first and best friend. Whilst Obi-Wan wasn’t actually your Master, he had been in every sense of the word other than officially. You had spent more time training with him and Anakin than you had your own Master and if the Jedi allowed a Master to take on more than one Padawan you knew Obi-Wan would have happily accepted you as his own alongside Anakin. Over the years you became everything to each other, something closer than friends and somehow more intimate than lovers, there hadn’t been anything the two of you didn’t share with each other, at least you’d thought there were no secrets between you right up until Anakin’s fall.

Seeing the destruction he had caused, the death of Padmé, leaving the bodies of children behind in the Temple, helping with the murder of Jedi across the galaxy and making sure that the few who had escaped had bounties on their heads forever, turned your stomach. You knew that if you had had the chance all those years ago you would have done anything to change it, would have given up everything so long as Anakin kept his light.

There was nothing you could do though, Anakin was dead, Obi-Wan had pulled you aside shortly after Padmé had given birth to the children and tearfully told you what had happened on Mustafar, told you that Anakin was gone. The two of you held each other, knowing that nothing would be the same again and you hadn’t stopped the tears that poured from your eyes, soaking the cloak Obi-Wan wore.

From that day on you had been lost, jumping from one planet to the other and it was only when you came across a group of Inquisitors that you were glad you had been running, glad you had shut yourself off from the Force. You had hidden yourself in the shadows, easily blending in with the sketchy figures around you as one of the Inquisitors Force choked a Jedi they had found. You knew this was common, any Jedi found was to be killed, the Empire wouldn’t rest until they were. You had grown numb to it, had seen it happen too many times, in the early years you had wanted to react, wanted to help the Jedi but you knew that meant exposing yourself and you couldn’t do it.

“Where is Y/F/N Y/L/N?” One of the Inquisitors snarled and you felt your eyes go wide and forced yourself to swallow against the sudden lump in your throat.

You knew the Empire was looking for Obi-Wan for whatever reason, over the years you had heard whispers of his name but nobody had found where he was yet, only a few people knew that information and none of you would ever betray Obi-Wan.

The question was, why were they looking for you?

Ever since you’d overheard that conversation you had cut down your time spent on a single planet, making sure to keep your face covered whenever you had to be surrounded by people and kept your head down. You had dodged many Inquisitors in the past few months and again the urge to go to Obi-Wan for help was strong, the urge to reconnect with the Force and call out to Obi-Wan but you never did.

Instead you ran and you hid and you didn’t talk to anybody that wasn’t necessary. You were good but there was only so much you could do without the Force to help you, for it to warn you when danger was near. It didn’t surprise you nearly as much as it should have when you rounded a corner and saw your little shack in the middle of nowhere surrounded by Inquisitors, a ship not too far away.

Without your own lightsaber it really wasn’t a fair fight and it wasn’t long before you were being marched into the ship, a collar around your throat to cut you off from the Force despite you having done that yourself many years ago.

You didn’t say anything though, just let them shove along, rolling your eyes as they gloated about catching you before you were being pushed into a small, dark room. The door shut behind you and you were glad to be separated from the troopers and Inquisitors, if only to be rid of their constant taunting that was nothing more than an annoyance.

You had no idea where you were being taken, you could feel the ship moving and you could feel it making the shift to hyperspace. You spent the journey sitting on the floor, legs crossed as you let your mind wander. Even as a Padawan you had struggled to mediate, your Master hadn’t had the patience to teach you after repeated failures but Obi-Wan was more than happy to sit opposite you and guide you through it no matter how long it took. Mediating without being surrounded by the Force felt pointless but you still tried, if only to pass the time.

At some point your peace was disturbed as the door opened and you opened one eye to see a female Inquisitor enter the room alone. You regarded her for a second longer before letting your eye fall shut again, not giving her a reaction. She waited for the door to shut before she spoke.

“Anakin Skywalker has been waiting a very long time for you.” She told you and you couldn’t hide your reaction.

Your eyes shot open, staring openly at the woman in front of you in shock as your back stiffened with her words.

“What did you just say?” You asked, voice low and cold.

“You heard m-” She started to say but cut herself off, staring back at you for a moment before letting out a laugh, one that showed just how much she enjoyed having some sort of power over you as a smirk spread across her face. “You don’t know.”

“Know what? What do you know of Anakin?” You asked, not having pieced together what she knew.

“You don’t know,” She repeated, glee written on her face as she continued, “You don’t know what became of him.”

“He died.” You said through gritted teeth, annoyed at whatever tactic she was playing.

“Oh no, Y/N. Anakin Skywalker didn’t die, Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader.”

Your blood ran cold at her words, your head already shaking in disbelief because that was impossible. You hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Vader but when one travelled the galaxy as much as you did you heard the stories. There was no way that was Anakin, no way.

“You really didn’t know.” She murmured, pulling you out of your thoughts and glaring at the smirk that was still on her face. “I guess you are right, your sweet Anakin Skywalker is long gone, Darth Vader is who remains.”

With those words she turned to leave the room, leaving you with that bombshell as you tried to sort your thoughts out. There was no way Obi-Wan knew, he would have told you. He, like you, believed Anakin had died on Mustafar but clearly he had received help, something had happened after Obi-Wan left with Padmé.

Even knowing what you knew about Vader you had to believe that Anakin was still in there somewhere, buried deep down under Darkness. Had you known he was still alive you wouldn’t have wasted years running around the galaxy, you would have done anything you could to bring him back to you.

For the first time since you had shut yourself off from it you wished you could connect with the Force.

It wasn’t long after that you felt the ship land, the doors to your cell were sliding open and two Inquisitors flanked by a handful of troopers were revealed. One of the Inquisitors wrapped their hand around your arm and dragged you along, the other gripping your other arm once you were close to him. You let them lead you through the ship and it took a good few minutes before you arrived in front of two heavy looking doors.

Upon seeing you and the Inquisitors, as well as the troopers who had followed you, the trooper standing guard opened the doors and you were shoved forward. You kept a bored look on your face but it was quickly replaced by a sad look as you saw Darth Vader standing in the room.

That couldn’t be Anakin and yet even without the Force to guide you, you had a feeling in the pit of your stomach, one that turned you cold, that the Inquisitor hadn’t been lying.  

“Leave us.” Vader ordered, his voice modified through the suit, sounding nothing like Anakin.

The Inquisitors and troopers left the room and the door fell shut behind them leaving you alone with Vader. You stood tall, a neutral look masking the pain and sadness you felt, staring into the helmet of Darth Vader.

“You have been difficult to find.” He told you and you couldn’t help but smirk, you had only become aware of the fact that the Empire was after you a few months ago, you wondered just how long you’d had a bounty on your head. “I have you now and you will tell me where Kenobi is hiding.”

You struggled to keep your mask in place, struggled not to let it show how painful it was hearing the hate filter through the mask. How had things fallen apart so badly, how had Anakin Skywalker, the person who had never failed to give you hope all throughout the clone wars, the person who you only ever saw the best in, fallen so hard? How could that boy who looked up to Obi-Wan, who had loved him dearly, not even bring himself to say his name? Only able to spit it out like it was poison.

Where had it all gone wrong?

“It’s really you then isn’t it?” You asked him, despite your neutral face your voice betrayed you, quivering slightly before you forced yourself to take a breath. “I didn’t want to believe her when she said you were Anakin but it’s you isn’t it?”

“Don’t use that name!” He spat, one arm raised with a clenched fist and you found yourself  a few feet in the air, Vader cutting off your breath as he Forced choked you.

It was child's play, you could handle being Forced choked, Anakin knew it as well as you did. You had been through worse during the years of the Clone Wars, suffered worse things than a choking. The Clone Wars had been tough, you’d been kidnapped more times than you could count, tortured even more, Anakin had been by your side throughout it all, you both knew this was nothing.

“Skywalker was weak, he was useless.” Vader said as he stopped choking you and you just about stayed upright as you were dropped to the floor.

“Anakin was never weak and he was far from useless. He was the bravest person I have ever met, he inspired loyalty, he was a hero.” You said, stressing the last word as you gave Vader a look of distaste. “Can you say the same about yourself?”

“You abandoned him, left him to die. Don’t speak to me about loyalty.” Vader snarled and even without the Force you could feel his anger, his pain and frustration.

You had to believe there was more than that there though, that there was some light no matter how small and dim, there had to be.

Anakin couldn’t just be gone.

For years you had lived thinking he had died, alone and in pain, left behind by Obi-Wan. You hadn’t blamed Obi-Wan, you had had years to dwell on it, years to run it through your head and knew full well that if you were in the man's shoes you wouldn’t have been able to kill Anakin either.

Even now as you stood before the darkest and most twisted version of Anakin, knew of all the pain and horror he had inflicted on the galaxy, even now you knew full well if you had the chance you wouldn’t be able to kill him.

You could practically see Master Yoda in your mind, shaking his head in disappointment as he spoke about attachments.

“Abandoned you?” You asked, shaking your own head as you stared at him in disbelief. “I thought you were dead. If I had known, if I had even had an inkling that you were alive, believe me I would have found you myself. I would have done everything I could to break through all the darkness surrounding you.”

“You expected me to believe that?” He scoffed and you glared at him. It was hard talking to him like this, not just because of the anger and the hatred but because of the helmet. Anakin had always been so expressive, his every emotion played out on his face but now the man hid behind the helmet.

“You know I’m not lying.” You told him and he remained silent for a few moments.

“There was a place for you at my side, there still is a place for you.” He told you suddenly, voice quiet but firm and you felt your eyes widen, there was no way he thought you would ever turn to the Dark Side but then again you had once believed he would never fall. “All you have to do is tell me where Kenobi is.”

“You know I would never betray Obi-Wan, Anakin.” You told him and watched as he took a step closer to you, towering over you but you forced yourself to meet the helmet.

“I am not Anakin.” He told you, anger clear in his tone and you couldn’t help the sad smile that pulled at your lips.

“You will always be Anakin Skywalker to me.” You said softly before you were slammed into a wall by the Force, Vader doing nothing more than pinning you against it. “And for what it’s worth, I never gave up on you. No matter how lost you are, no matter how far you stray from everything you once believed in, I never gave up on you, not when I saw what had become of the Padawans, not when the order was given for the Clones to kill us. I still believe in Anakin Skywalker.”

Vader stayed silent, the only sound in the room was that of his breathing, heavy through the helmet. You knew you were pushing it, knew this was a dangerous game but you didn’t care, you had to know if Anakin was still there, still believed in the man you had once known, the man you had spent every day loving.

“You are loyal to a dead man.” He told you finally and you felt your eyes close, desperately trying to think of a way to push through the Darkness. “It makes you weak.”

“Lucky for me then because the man I believe in isn’t dead, I know it. The man who held me when my Master was killed, the man who snuck me out of the Temple in the middle of the night because I wanted to see the celebrations, the man who took more beatings and hits than he needed to just so I didn’t get hurt, the man who helped me see the Light when everything seemed so dark during the war. That is the man I believe in and that is the man I know to be alive, to be within you no matter how deeply you have tried to bury him.” You told him, voice shaking and tears filling your eyes but you forced them back, not letting them fall.

This wasn’t about you, this was about bringing Anakin back.

“You can’t tell me this is the life you wanted Anakin. You’re nothing more than Palpatine’s weapon, he ripped everything from you; Padmé, your child, Obi-Wan and me. And for what, Anakin? What did you get out of it that was worth losing everyone?” You keep your voice soft, watching as his fist clenched at his side and you wished so badly you could see his face.

“None of that matters now.” Vader said after a moment of silence and you hated how you couldn’t hear his real voice, how his emotions were hidden through the helmet, robotic and stoic and not giving away anything. “The man you knew is gone, accept it and give up your weak and foolish hope of his return.”

You shook your head, refusing to do as he said. No matter what happened on this ship, even if he killed you, you would die knowing that Anakin was still in there, that one day, maybe not any time soon, Anakin would break through the Darkness surrounding him. Maybe he would break through himself, maybe he would eventually find Obi-Wan hidden away on Tatooine and Obi-Wan would be the one to break through. It didn’t matter how it happened, all that mattered was that you truly believed it would.

“I will never give up hope for Anakin Skywalker.” You told him, standing straighter and looking at the helmet, his anger and annoyance clear even without the Force helping up and the helmet covering him.

“Enough.” He said, using the Force to lift you off the ground again back still pressed against the wall. “I have grown tired of listening to you talk about a dead man, your pathetic attachment to him makes you weak. You could have joined me, Y/N, you could have joined me. Instead you keep your loyalties to a man long dead and a man who will die at my hands.”

Even though you’d been through worse pain, worse torture, suddenly this felt like the most painful thing you had ever experience, the worst kind of pain imaginable, a type of pain that made you cold and empty inside. There was no fear but something shifted around the two of you and you could practically see the thick Darkness clinging to Anakin.

You knew he was so far into it, knew the chances of you leaving this alive were slim to none and yet somehow you weren’t scared. The thing you felt most was your absolute heartbreak as you faced what had become of the man you loved but you knew he’d come back.

He had to.

“You have tested my patience long enough,” He snarled, stepping closer until there was no distance between you. “Now, you will tell me where Kenobi is!”

As he spoke he raised his hand, stopping you from taking breaths and you could feel his phantom grip tightening on you with each second. You stared at him, stared into the helmet that hid his face from you and knew you were going to die but you were not going to die betraying Obi-Wan or Anakin’s children.

“Anakin,” You choked out, voice a broken whisper as you felt yourself getting lightheaded, “I know you’re still in there, I know you can hear me even if you’re not ready to right now.” It was hard to speak, throat closed up and his grip only got tighter with your words. “I know this isn’t you, it can’t be, not after everything. You will find your way back one day, I know you will and you have to know, even with whatever happens today, I never gave up on you.” Your vision was going bleary as you forced yourself to stay conscious. “I love you, Anakin Skywalker, always have, always believed in you.”

Your words were barely audible at the end, his grip on your throat too tight to breath by now and the last thing you saw before your vision blacked out was the helmet of Vader, emotionless and betraying nothing as you choked out something unintelligible before letting your eyes fall closed.

Vader let go of you, let your body fall to the ground. He walked away, desperately trying to ignore the feeling deep inside of him, buried under a mountain of Darkness, that felt guilty, felt heartbroken and angry. Your final words were a declaration of love, a promise that you had always believed in him.

He stormed out of the room, fists clenched at his side as he forced down that part of him, the part that was Anakin Skywalker, no matter how much he denied it. You had been right, not that he would ever admit it but Anakin Skywalker had always been there, a weakness to Vader. He had thought he had destroyed every bit of Anakin Skywalker, thought he had rid himself of such a weakness but then you had come along and reignited the tiny bit of Light in him that he had never been able to kill.

But now you were dead and there was nobody left in the whole galaxy that believed in him. You were dead by his hands and even though your dying words would never leave Vader’s mind, no matter how much he tried to forget them, there was no hope left in the galaxy for him.

That hope had lived and died with you.

________

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August

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Prompts - 'It is August. My life is going to change. I can feel it.'

The change from July to August passed as easily as it always did, the weather was still warm, birds could still be heard chirping away and yet you couldn’t help but feel off. More than half the year had passed and it had passed without anything remarkable happening. The years had all seemed to pass the same lately and no matter how much you promised yourself this one would be different it seemed it was destined to be anything but. 

Of course just when you give up hope of something great, something remarkable happening, is often when your life changes most. 

It was a regular Monday and you were getting by on nothing but a few hours of sleep as you walked the busy streets with a hot to-go cup warming your hands, mind not completely awake just yet and not at all focused on your surroundings. It shouldn’t have been a surprise when you were suddenly jolted, nearly falling to the floor before a pair of arms caught you. 

“Oh god, I am so sorry, are you alright, love?” You looked up, eyes widening at the man holding you in the middle of a busy London street.

His voice was soft and it washed over you, calming your racing heart from both being crashed into and from the man himself, beautiful and captivating and staring at you. 

Of course, you hadn’t answered him and with a mental slap to your face you cleared your throat and answered the question, straightening up as you did, smiling as the man’s arms didn’t leave you. 

“I’m alright, thank you. Sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You apologised, smiling softly at him, and watching as he mirrored the expression back, your heart seemingly skipping a beat at how beautiful the smile made him look. 

“Oh no, it’s my fault really, completely in a world of my own.” He chuckled and you couldn’t help but grin at him. “Oh bugger, your drink! Let me buy you a new one, if you’re not in a rush of course.” 

You weren’t in a rush thankfully but even if you had been you thought you would have cancelled any plans then and there if it meant being able to spend a single second longer in the man’s presence. 

“Thank you, you don’t have to though.” You told him but he just shook his head, cutting you off before you could say anything else. 

“No, no really I insist.” He told you, finally drawing his arms back with a sheepish smile and you felt the loss immediately but didn’t dwell on it, instead your smile widened as you nodded. 

“Then I’d like that, thank you.” You said and his whole face seemed to brighten up as he shifted his bag on his shoulder before nodding and gesturing for you to follow him. 

What were you doing, this was completely unlike you to go off with a man you’d just met, one that was a complete stranger and yet it didn’t seem like he was. Something about this man seemed to put you at ease, radiating safety and warmth and you were drawn to him immediately. 

You’d been saying you wanted things to change, months passed in the same old cycle and this was a welcome break in the chain. Perhaps August was the month for it. 

“I’m Steven by the way, nice to meet you.” Steven, it suited him nicely. 

“I’m Y/N,” you told him, sending him a smile back, completely unable to help the way it spread across your face as you looked at him. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

The two of you walked side by side, looking to the outside world like a pair of old friends or lovers out for a morning stroll. Steven, for all that he stammered and fidgeted, was surprisingly confident in carrying the conversation, rambling on about whatever came to his mind, asking questions about you, where you were from, what you were interested in and he responded in kind and by the time the two of you came to the coffee shop neither of you wanted to leave the others company. 

“If you’re, well, if maybe by some chance you weren’t busy would you perhaps like to have a drink?” Steven managed to ask and you felt your heart beat faster and your shoulders relax. “With me I mean.”

“Yeah,” you told him with a soft, almost fond breath of laughter as you nodded, watching as he grinned at you, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

As the two of you ordered Steven felt the ball of nervous energy in the pit of his stomach grow, completely outside of his comfort zone and yet something about you put him at ease and made it easy for him to take a breath and relax. 

It wasn’t long before the two of you were seated with drinks in front of you, Steven’s fingers tapping a steady rhythm on the sides of his cup. Somehow this felt more intimate than walking the streets of London, sitting across from each other under the low light of some hole in the wall coffee shop and yet, despite the nerves you both felt, neither of you could think of anywhere else you’d rather be.

“So where were you off to before we crashed into each other?” Steven asked with a grin and you felt yourself relax even more, glad for the easy conversation and the chance to memorise his features some more.

“I was heading to the museum, I have an interview and wanted to get there earlier to make sure I knew where to go.” You told him, watching as he seemed to perk up at the mention of the museum before his eyes widened.

“Oh god, you have an interview and I pulled you away from it. You really didn’t have to-” Steven began but you just chuckled softly, shaking your head, and cutting him off.

“It’s fine, really, my interview isn’t until after lunch, trust me I’ve got plenty of time and I’d rather be here with you than nervously pacing around the museum.” You laughed and watched as he relaxed, a soft laugh escaping him.

“You have an interview though, that’s great!” Steven beamed at you and somehow this stranger opposite you seemed just as excited as you were at the offer and you were glad to have somebody around who shared your excitement. “That’s really amazing, honestly you’ll love it, I worked there for a bit but it didn’t work out.” He told you, his nose scrunching up slightly as he shook his head and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Hopefully I’ll love it if I even get the job. What happened with you?” You asked and watched as he turned to look out of the window for a second before shaking his head and turning his attention back to you.

“Oh you know, had a bit of a nasty run in with a jackal and caused some property damage.” He told you, tone so serious that it drew a laugh from you and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing along with you.

“And yet somehow not the worst reason I’ve heard for being fired.” You chuckled before taking a sip from your drink.

Conversation flowed easily from there, somehow you felt like you had known this man, this stranger, for your whole life, like the two of you were long-time friends who hadn’t seen each other for a while and were simply spending time catching up on everything that had happened since you’d last seen one another, except in this case it was catching up on each other’s entire lives.

It was nice talking to Steven, nice to have somebody around who shared the same interests as you, who seemed genuinely interested and listened to every word that left your mouth. Something about Steven made you feel light, feel a happiness that you hadn’t known you had been missing. 

The man was a simply just a stranger who had happened to bump into you and yet here the two of you were, turning an accident into something that would change your futures, would steer you two down a different path, one where your lives became so entwined it would be impossible to remember a time before knowing one another.

You smiled as you listened to him talk, couldn’t help but silently thank the universe or whatever god what listening for sending Steven Grant your way, for having him knock into you and for having you leave for your interview with enough time to spare for meeting Steven. 

Mid-sentence Steven cut himself off, glancing towards the window next to the two of you again causing you to raise your eyebrows and follow his gaze but saw nothing so instead you turned back to him just in time to see his eyes widen as he looked back to you.

“It’s nearly time for your interview!” He told you and your eyes widened as you pulled your phone out, frowning down at the time, easily getting lost in the conversation with Steven and not realising how much time had passed before debating just how much your interview was worth if it meant leaving Steven’s side. 

If you hadn’t been waiting for this job to come around for months you might have genuinely left the interview but you knew you had to leave no matter how much you wanted to stay. Instead you looked back up at Steven with an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry,” You started but Steven cut you off with a smile, shaking his head fondly.

“None of that now, you have to get to your interview. I know you’re gonna smash it.” He told you and again you were almost taken back by how much this stranger seemed to be rooting for your success.

“It was really nice to meet you, Steven.” You hated that you had to leave, wanted nothing more than to sit in this cosy little coffee shop and just get to know everything about the man in front of you. Instead you started to stand but Steven stopped you before you could.

“I, oh god, don’t bugger this up now mate,” you smiled as he spoke to himself, watching in amusement as he shook his head before glancing up at you with a sheepish smile, “I don’t usually, well when I say usually I do mean ever, but anyway I don’t do this but you are really beautiful, I mean look at you, you’re stunning and I would hate myself if I didn’t ask you if I could see you again.” Steven rambled his way through his attempt to ask you out all the while your smile grew wider.

“I’d really like that.” You said, pulling your phone out again before handing it to him, “here give me your number.”

The two of you swapped phone numbers before walking out of the coffee shop together, each heading in opposite directions and pausing to say a goodbye.

“I’m really glad I met you,” Steven murmured, his eyes widening like he hadn’t meant to say the words out loud causing you to laugh softly, “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I’m glad we met too.” You told him honestly, somehow feeling more of a connection with a man you’d known for less than two hours than with anyone else you had met in a really long time.

“I should let you go then I suppose, big interview and all that.” He smiled and you couldn’t help but mirror the expression. “Good luck, Y/N, not that you need it, they’d be stupid not to hire you.”

“Thank you,” You laughed, knowing you really had to leave now or you’d be late. “I’ll see you soon, right?”

“I should hope so, I think I’d rather like to have you in my life.” Steven said and the words were so honest that you couldn’t help the soft smile that spread across your face, feeling a soft blush on your cheeks as you ducked your head before glancing back up at him.

The two of you finally said your goodbyes, walking away with matching wide smiles before turning back to sneak one final glance at each other. It seemed after weeks, after months of pleading with the world it had finally given you an answer to your questions, a cure to the lonely, repetitive days in the form of Steven Grant. You could feel the shift when you were with him, a moment that you hoped and pleaded would be life changing, echoing Steven’s sentiment and wanting nothing more than to have him in your life.

You really hoped August was the month to change your life and really hoped Steven Grant would become a constant presence at your side. 

__________________

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The Perfect Mix

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Prompts -  "I can't believe you didn't wish me a Happy Father's Day" "We don't have a kid?"

The mission had been long but they had come through it and been victorious, they had taken some First Order members down and gotten the information they needed. Everyone on the base was in high spirits, a welcome change from the dread of what was to come and a cause for celebration. 

Poe and you sat pressed together, shoulder to shoulder, in a booth with your friends surrounding you. There were too many empty glasses on the table for any of you to count in your drunken state but more kept being brought over. Everyone refused to dwell on the future, tonight was a win and you all were determined to enjoy this feeling for as long as you could.

You turned your head to look over towards Poe who was playfully arguing with BB-8 about something you couldn’t quite follow, you weren’t fluent at speaking droid and depended on Poe whenever BB-8 spoke but you were getting better. Still, seeing the smile spread across Poe’s face had you smiling over at him, warmth spreading through you that had nothing to do with the alcohol and everything to do with the man in front of you.

It wasn’t easy, some days things got too much. Some days fighting the First Order was frustrating and long and everything seemed hopeless. There were days when one of you would let the frustration overwhelm you and you took it out on the other, starting fights or shutting them out. You were always there though to help the other work through it, to be the shoulder to cry on when the emotions finally exploded, to hold the other close after a long, unproductive day, to bring a cup of caf and sit by each other’s side silently until the one who was scared about everything was ready to talk.

It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t perfect but it was real and it was everything you could hope for. Poe was amazing, you never wanted for anything when you were with him. Your heart ached sometimes with how much love you felt for him. 

One day this would be over, there would be no more fighting against the First Order, then it would be perfect. There wouldn’t be any worries about Poe leaving and not coming back, about him being hurt or killed. You hated when he left, loved how passionate he was to the cause and ached to have him back in your arms.

Looking at him now, his whole face lit up as BB-8 chirped something you couldn’t make out you were glad he had made the first move all those months ago, glad he was so confident and outgoing that he had no problem walking up to you one day after you’d finished maintenance on BB-8 and asked you on a date. You didn’t hesitate to say yes, you knew you’d liked him from the moment you’d met him however long ago when he was injured badly enough that he couldn’t do the maintenance needed on his X-wing and you had offered to help, being the one to do the maintenance of his ship ever since.

“Hey!” Poe exclaimed suddenly, causing you to snap out of your thoughts and give him your full attention, watching as he turned to face you with a confused look. “Why haven’t you wished me a Happy Father’s Day?” 

A huff of laughter left you as you looked back at him with confusion spreading across your own features, eyes glancing to the table that held even more empty glasses and wondered just how much he had had to drink tonight.

“What,” You began, pausing to laugh which only caused his eyes to widen even more and you had never been able to resist that look, “What are you talking about? We don’t have a kid?” 

The words were slightly slurred, of course they were after how many drinks you yourself had had, but Poe’s eyes still narrowed at them, sitting up straighter in the booth and giving you the most offended look he could muster, looking at you like he could hardly recognise you which only made you laugh some more.

“Are you kidding?” He exclaimed and you were confused for only a few seconds longer before he gestured wildly over to BB-8 who was stood by his feet and chirping away happily, beeps you couldn’t understand as he spun in a circle. 

It took a second before Poe’s meaning registered but you couldn’t help but laugh loudly once they did, leaning against Poe’s shoulder as he tried his best to maintain his offended look but when it came to you he was a weak man and a smile spread across his face at the sound of your laughter.

It really was the best sound in the whole galaxy.

It was a few minutes before you managed to contain yourself, your laughter subsiding though a few giggles escaped and you pushed away from Poe’s shoulder to grin over at him, lifting one hand to cup his cheek before bringing your lips together.

The kiss was messy, no coordination on either side but it didn’t matter, the two of you were more than happy to get lost in it, forgetting about your friends who surrounded you as you bumped noses and forehead.

“Happy Father’s Day.” You mumbled against his lips once the two of you pulled away, “You’re the best dad a droid could ever ask for.” 

Poe couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face as he brought a hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing across your cheekbone as he drew you into another kiss. This one was slightly more coordinated but softer and slower and Poe drew you closer to him, only pulling away when BB-8 beeped at him and bumped into his leg.

“Thanks buddy.” Poe grinned down at the droid, pulling away from you slightly to pat BB-8 before turning back towards you, his grin softening into a smile as he saw how your face lit up, even under the bad lighting off the bar. 

He couldn’t resist cupping your cheek again and pulling you into him, your lips soft against his own as he took his time tracing his tongue across your bottom lip waiting for you to grant him access and tried to convey just how much love he felt for you in a single kiss.

Finally the two of you pulled away, breathless and smiling, neither of you noticing the way the people around you grinned over at the pair of you, completely lost in your own little world. 

“You really are a good dad you know, one day you’ll be an amazing dad to a little baby Dameron.” You told him as you entwined you fingers with his, looking down and watching your thumb trace his knuckles and completely missing the way his eyes softened, his whole body softened really, as he stared at you with hope shining in his eyes, thinking that nothing could be better than raising a little baby Dameron with you.

“Little baby Dameron, huh?” He said softly, watching you look up to meet his gaze and let his other hand come up to brush a piece of hair that had fallen into your face aside. “I hope they have your eyes.” 

At his words he watched your smile brighten as you leaned into his touch before turning your head to kiss his knuckles. Poe couldn’t wait to start the next chapter of his life with you, desperate for the fight against the First Order to be done and won so that he could give you the life you deserved.

“I hope they have your smile.” You told him just as softly as he had spoken, your free hand coming up to trace his lower lip.

Poe would do anything he had to to make sure the Resistance won, to end this war as fast as possible so that he could be by your side as he watched you hold a baby that was the perfect mix of the two of you. A baby that had your eyes, his smile, your nose and his hair, maybe Poe’s love of flying mixed with your love of tinkering. 

All Poe knew was that he was ready for that, you were ready for that, and it was up to him to make a future where the two of you could raise your own kid together possible.

See You Again

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Angstember Prompt - ‘The most messed up thing the universe will ever do to you is letting you meet the right person at the wrong time.’ 

 You hadn’t had long together but it was long enough to give you both a glimpse into the future, one filled with laughter and adventure, one overflowing with more love than either of you had ever experienced. The four months spent constantly at each other's side, your lives becoming so entwined, were enough for the two of you to fall hard and fast, ready for the future together that seemed to be destined for you.

It was completely by chance the two of you met. Peter had been focused on the world through his camera lens whereas your attention was on the text message you were sending. Neither of you saw the other until you crashed into each other, the drink that had been balanced in your hand as you typed was now on the floor, just how you would have been had the person you’d crashed into not caught you.

You looked up at him, your breath catching in your throat as you looked into concerned and apologetic brown eyes, the most beautiful pair of eyes you may have ever seen. 

“I am so sorry,” he said, eyes still looking directly into yours. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and-”

“Oh don’t be silly.” You told him, finally snapping out of whatever spell had you completely captivated by him. “It was my fault. I was in a world of my own.”

The man's laugh was as beautiful as his eyes, washing over you and as quickly as that it had become your favourite sound.

“We’re both to blame then.” He told you, his voice carrying his amusement. “Will you at least let me buy you a new drink?”

You wouldn’t usually accept the offer, much too aware of the dangers of strangers but there was something about him that made him seem like wasn’t a stranger, like he was somebody you had known before, somebody you had to know. You had no other choice but to go with him, you couldn’t deny yourself the man's company.

“I think I can manage that.” You told him and if you thought he was beautiful before then it was nothing compared to how breath taking he was when he smiled at you like this.

His whole face seemed to light up, his brown eyes shining with happiness and relief that you had said yes. Dimples appeared in his cheeks and his eyes wrinkled with how wide the smile was.

That was only the first day of your time together, the first five minutes of what both of you wished would be a lifetime together.

Once you arrived at the cafe, a walk that lasted only a few minutes but felt much longer as you both filled the silence with questions and answers, like you were both dying and learning everything you could about the other was the cure. Neither of you were ready to leave so when Peter asked if you had anywhere to be you told him no, shooting an apology text to your friend, saying you couldn’t make it as Peter got your drinks.

Three drinks and several hours passed by, not noticed by you or Peter as the two of you were so absorbed in one another, stories were told whilst smiles and laughs were memorised. Both of you made sure to remember the little details in each other's words and were more than content where you were.

At some point your chairs, which had started out on the opposite sides of the table, ended up side by side so that your knees pressed together and your arms brushed against each other.

Peter’s phone ringing was the only thing to pull you out of the little world you’d created together.

“Sorry,” Peter apologised softly, giving you a sheepish smile, “It’s my Aunt.”

You smiled as he answered the phone, feeling like you already knew Aunt May through the stories Peter had shared with you.

“Hey, hey, relax, I’m on my way ho-” Peter said, pausing mid-sentence as his Aunt interrupted him and you felt your smile widen as he gave you an exasperated look. “Yes May, I bought it before.”

The conversation didn’t last much longer and as Peter hung up, his expression shifting into a frown.

“I’m really sorry, I completely forgot we were having company and my Aunt asked me to pick some things up which I haven’t done yet and-” 

“Peter,” you interrupted him with a laugh, watching as a smile replaced his frown at the sound, “It’s fine, you should probably head to the store.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, picking up his bag and setting it on his shoulder before looking back at you.

It was clear he wanted to say something from the way his mouth opened and closed several times before he shook his head and sat up straighter.

“Can I see you again?” He finally asked and you felt your smile widen which Peter took as a good sign from the way he relaxed into his seat and smiled back at you.

“I’d like that.” You told him softly, not even surprised at how much you mean it. In the span of a few hours Peter Parker had carved a space for himself in your heart.

“Good,” Peter nodded, sighing in relief. “Good, well then, I’ll just-” Peter trailed off as he pulled his phone back out and handed it to you.

Watching Peter leave left you with a strange feeling running through you. It wasn’t often you put yourself out there and made yourself available. You couldn’t remember the last date you’d been on, couldn’t remember the last time you cared to even bother but meeting Peter seemed to have changed that.

Now you were sitting here feeling hopeful for the future, a future that you couldn’t envision without Peter Parker despite only having known him for all of four hours.

It wasn’t long after your chance meeting that you and Peter saw each other again. Only a few days had gone by, days in which you were both attached to your phones messaging each other all day and well into the night. In just a few days you had gone from strangers to something more than friends, something far more intimate, something filled with promises.

Meeting every few days eventually turned into meeting every single day whether it be a quick get together before school at the cafe you had gone to when you’d first met or exploring the city with each other. Some days you’d simply go to the other's house and lay with each other as a movie played in the background, sometimes you focused on it but more often than not it got spoken over, the two of you desperate to know everything about the other.

You were practically dating without making it official, it didn’t need a title, not really. Both of you had fallen hard and fast but never defined things. So when Peter took you to the cafe that was quickly becoming yours you didn’t think anything of it. Not until Peter arrived looking worried and flustered, stumbling over his words.

“What’s going on?” You asked him. 

You hadn’t seen him this nervous since you first met and he asked if he could see you again, from that day there had been no awkwardness, no nervousness or hesitancy between you. So the fact that Peter was acting so unsure now, you couldn’t help the worry that slipped into your tone.

Peter looked at you for a second, looked at the concern clear on your face and smiled, relaxing into his seat as he reached over to take your hand in his.

“I’ve had the best few weeks with you.” He told you softly, watching as a smile pulled at your lips. “I’ve never known anyone like you, I feel like we’ve known each other our whole lives, I can't see myself without you anymore. And I was wondering, well, if you would be my girlfriend?” 

His short speech had you beaming in happiness, his question had you smiling impossibly wider. You felt exactly the same, it had only been a few weeks and yet you could hardly remember a time your days and thoughts hadn’t been consumed by Peter.

“Yes.” You told him, the pair of you sat in your cafe grinning at each other like idiots.

Nothing much changed once things became official between you and Peter. You still hung out every day, except now you could call your time together what it always had been: dates. You still spoke to each other through your phones when you weren’t together.

Nothing had changed.

And then it did.

Two months of absolute bliss turned into something else in the blink of an eye. Exam season had come and gone, as had the time of sending college applications off, something you and Peter had done well before meeting each other.

The schools you had applied for were realistic, they were schools you knew you had the grades for. But there was one school you applied for after encouragement from your advisor, a dream school of yours for years. You had applied knowing full well you wouldn’t be accepted.

So how had you ended up here? Sat on your sofa staring down at the acceptance letter from Oxford University offering you a full scholarship for four years. It was a dream come true and yet you could feel your heart breaking.

Four years was a long time.

Yours and Peter’s relationship wasn’t even four months long, hell it was barely two months since you’d met him. It hardly mattered that you hadn’t known each other long. You had fallen for him hard and fast.

You knew it was love, knew that it was love that consumed you when you were with Peter, when you spoke about him, when you thought about him.

You and Peter weren’t just friends, you were so much more than lovers. It seemed every part, every inch of your beings was connected in some sort of way. The way the two of you moved, the way you seemed so alike and yet somehow so opposite, the perfect mix of one another, balancing each other out like you were two halves of a whole. 

You were soulmates. There wasn’t another way to describe the two of you. It was like the word had been perfectly created and defined with you two in mind.

Four years was a long time though and long distance hardly ever worked. You knew accepting Oxford meant losing Peter.

So what did you pick; a lifelong dream or the boy you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?

Peter came over that night. His usual bright smile turned into a concerned frown as he took in your eyes, red from crying over an impossible choice.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as the door shut behind him, the worry in his voice caused you to tear up again as you shook your head and led him to your bedroom. “What’s wrong?” He asked again, cupping your cheek in his palm, using his thumb to brush away a tear that fell from your eye.

“I got accepted into Oxford.” You told him and watched as a smile spread across his face.

“That’s amazing!” He told you before his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Why are you so upset?” He asked as he wiped another tear away.

“Peter, it’s a four year scholarship.” He was silent for a moment and you saw the exact moment realisation hit him, his smile fading as he swallowed hard. “I don’t have to go, I haven't decided anything yet.”

“Y/N,” Peter breathed out, staring at you in amazement even as he wore a sad smile. “You’re not rejecting Oxford, not for me.”

“I only applied on a fluke, I didn’t think they’d accept me, I forgot I even applied most of the time because I didn’t want to get my hopes up thinking I was good enough for Oxford.” You said, the words falling from your lips quickly and you forced back more tears.

Peter let out a wet chuckle.

“Of course you’re good enough, baby.” He told you, tone so soft and sincere that you couldn’t stop the choked sob that escaped you. “You’re amazing, they would have been stupid to not want you.”

“I don’t want to leave you.” You whispered and watched as his eyes widened in sympathy.

“Y/N,” Peter began but you cut him off with a shake of your head.

“I really don’t have to go.” You said, hating that the universe handed you the man of your dreams only to throw this at you.

“The first day I met you, you told me at our cafe your biggest dream was to study at Oxford. I saw the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about it. You have to go, baby.” Peter’s words had tears falling uncontrollably down your cheeks.

“Peter,” You pleaded, voice breaking.

“I know,” he told you, tears falling down his own cheeks, “trust me, I know but I’m not going to be the reason you don’t go, Y/N/N. This has been your dream for so much longer than you’ve known me and I am so proud of you.” Peter told you, a shaky smile on his face as he rested your foreheads together.

You couldn’t say just how long the two of you stood there for, pressed against each other as you cried, mourning all the time that should have been between the two of you.

Every moment spent with each other from that day on seemed to be filled with an air of sadness, no matter how much both of you tried to ignore it. Sadness at knowing your time together would soon come to an end.

When the day finally came Peter insisted on seeing you off. You said your goodbyes to your family at home before climbing into a cab with Peter, your hands clenched together desperately like it could keep you here.

The ride was over much too quickly and you felt sick to your stomach as the airport came into view.

Peter lifted your bags out of the trunk and wheeled them into the building, whilst still holding your hand tightly in his. Once you got to the point Peter couldn’t go past you took a shaky breath, turning to face him to see he was already looking at you.

Those beautiful brown eyes were darker now than they had been the day you had first met, gone was the warmth and the light. Now they were filled with sadness and pain. You were certain yours reflected the same.

“I really am so proud of you.” He told you, his voice sounding choked and you could see him struggling to hold back tears. “Oxford better know how lucky they are to have you.”

You let out a tearful laugh that sounded more like a sob.

It seemed cruel, it seemed like the most messed up thing you had ever experienced. The universe, in all its greatness, had given you the most amazing gift in the form of Peter Parker. It had given you the most perfect four months together, the most hopeful glimpse into what your futures could be, only to let it end like this.

You wished you had met him at a different point in your life. Years earlier so you didn’t apply to Oxford or four years later when you were back in the States. It seemed so cruel to have met the love of your life only to be ripped away from him for four long years.

You knew it was love and you didn’t care that it was probably too soon. You couldn’t say those three words now though, it would only add to the pain of leaving.

“I’m really going to miss you.” You told him as tears fell from your eyes.

“I’m calling you every day, texting too. Honestly you’ll be sick of me.” He told you, smiling even as his eyes shone with tears. “You’re not getting rid of me.”

You hoped he was right but four years was a long time, it was almost a lifetime given how much both of you would change. Still you hoped the universe would be kind to the two of you.

An announcement playing over the loud speaker had Peter’s smile fading slightly.

“That’s you.” He said quietly and you nodded, neither of you able to say anything else.

You stepped close to him, wrapping your arms around his torso and buried your face into his chest, soaking the fabric of his shirt with your tears. Peter’s own tears fell into your hair, unable to fight them back any longer as he held onto you tightly for as long as he could, committing the feeling of you against him to memory.

Letting go of you was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do.

He leaned down, not ready to let you walk away yet, and kissed you. It was a messy kiss, filled with tears and sadness but also with so much love. The words didn’t need saying, both of you knew.

“I’ll see you again. I’ll be waiting right here the second you get back.” Peter promised, your sad sob of a laugh told him you didn’t believe him and he swore to himself he would keep that promise, no matter what.

He was yours, forever, no amount of distance or time could change that. 

Watching you walk away had Peter’s heart physically aching. He stood there with tears falling down his cheeks until you disappeared from view, and a little longer because he couldn’t see through his tears.

You had to fight the urge to sob, walking away from Peter felt wrong, it felt like the worst decision you could have made. You cursed the universe for letting you fall in love with him only to separate you after much too little time together. 

You hoped Peter was right, hoped he would be waiting for you when you got back. In your heart you knew you and Peter were meant to be, that much was true but now just wasn’t the right time no matter how much both of you wished differently. 

Days were spent thinking about what could have been after you left, missing touches that should have been, moments that could have created a lifetime of memories, of stories that people grew tired of hearing but neither of you bored of telling. There were four years of your lives that should have been spent together but because the timing hadn’t been right that time had instead been filled with pining, with sadness but also with hope that you would find your way back to each other one day. 

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Prompts - Seems like there's always someone who disapproves, they'll judge it like they know about me and you

It was no secret, no matter how much it had started as one, that you and Obi-Wan shared a bond deeper than friendship, a bond that seemed to run soul deep, unable to be broken by the Force itself. It was a bond that had been forming for many years now, somehow still growing bigger and more stable as time went on. You’d felt drawn to Obi-Wan, the Padawan a few years older than you who hadn’t hesitated to take you under his wing as you arrived at the Temple, the Padawan who you spent each day with. 

Master Qui-Gon had watched his Padawan carefully, the man was far more lenient with the way of the Jedi, with the code they should follow. He was content to sit back, to watch as his Padawan grew up and began to navigate his feelings for the younger Padawan he had befriended years ago. He knew the Council didn’t like it, he saw the weary looks that were shot your way as you and Obi-Wan were more than happy to sit alone together, blocking out the rest of the room, the rest of the world, to focus on each other.

Master Windu had warned him more times than he could count that he should put an end to this friendship, that nothing good would come from whatever it would grow into, Qui-Gon had quietly disagreed as he looked to his young Padawan, he thought the bond that was forming would only mean great things. Master Yoda had also pulled him aside to speak of attachments and what that would lead to and again Qui-Gon let him talk but ultimately did nothing to stop the two of you from being friends.

He had always known the two of you would be more than friends, it was rare for Jedi to create the kind of bond the two of you had, to be able to speak freely between your minds, to feel each other’s emotions as if they were your own and yet when Obi-Wan had confided in him that such a bond existed, fear clear on his face that Qui-Gon would march the two of you to the Council and order the bond to be broken, Qui-Gon wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t surprised that the two of you were so deeply entwined with each other, he had been shocked to learn just how developed the bond was but not shocked by its existence. 

You and Obi-Wan weren’t foolish, you weren’t oblivious to the stares and the whispers that were sent your way, you just didn’t care enough to put a stop to them, why should you? It wasn’t forbidden to be friends and you and Obi-Wan had grown up side by side, hardly ever without the other. 

Whilst Master Qui-Gon was supportive, encouraging whatever was happening between Obi-Wan and yourself, your own Master had tried for many years to put a stop to it. It hadn’t worked, of course, his attempts only managed to put a strain on your relationship with your Master until you found yourself training alongside Master Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, much more content to learn at Obi-Wan’s side.

For years you had remained oblivious to your feelings, content to just have Obi-Wan at your side and bask in the friendship he offered to you. It was only as you grew older that you realised just how deeply you liked him, realised that the bond the two of you shared was a gift from the Force and not something just anybody could do. Even when you didn’t know just how deeply you felt for Obi-Wan you knew you had formed an attachment to him years ago, you knew that attachment had formed the day he smiled at you and offered to show you around. You knew the attachment was strong, knew that if something ever happened to Obi-Wan you would turn the galaxy upside down for him without hesitation.

Obi-Wan knew he felt the same for you. After countless nights of staring up at the ceiling, confused and scared that he was a terrible Jedi but not wanting to give you up he had finally sat down with his own Master, thankful that the man was much more relaxed about the Code and encouraged him to see where the Force would lead you and him. It was a conversation he needed, one that he could meditate on after being assured that not all attachments were bad, after Qui-Gon had asked him if he felt like his relationship to you would lead Obi-Wan down a dark path. Obi-Wan knew that if anything happened to you he would be devastated, he would be heartbroken, his whole world would become empty but he didn’t think it was bad, he didn’t think it was a dark attachment, he didn’t feel possessive over you, he only felt fondness, he felt happy and light, he felt love and loved in return.

Obi-Wan liked to think he was a good Jedi, he liked to think he followed the rules and would make a good Knight one day and yet he saw the disapproving stares of the Masters as the two of you wandered the halls together, he felt their weariness through the Force and doubted himself. It never lasted long though, only until he saw you again and you made the risk of not being a perfect Jedi worth it.

Years passed and you and Obi-Wan continued to grow closer. The two of you were practically one with each other, if you were looking for Y/N, all you had to do was find the Kenobi boy and vice-versa, people hardly spoke only one of your names, instead they said Y/N and Obi-Wan because that’s how it was, it was always the two of you. 

The Jedi Council had spent years frowning and disapproving but had never outright said anything to either you or Obi-Wan, they had spoken to your Master’s about their thoughts but nothing beyond that. It was something that was monitored carefully as if they were waiting for one of you to slip and turn to the Dark Side. You silently thought it was stupid of them to be so mistrustful of the two of you, whilst between you and Obi-Wan you were the more reckless and far more lenient with the rules, neither of you had shown any signs from straying from the Light Side, Force forbid you love the boy you had spent all your days with though.

The day you and Obi-Wan finally stopped dancing around your feelings and spoke about them was rather anti-climactic. With how built up the whole situation was, with how much disapproval was surrounding the bond you shared it felt like when Obi-Wan had cupped your cheek in his hand and pulled you in for a soft and slow kiss that something ground shaking should have happened, something beyond the fireworks and butterflies you felt. It felt like you were supposed to pull back and see a Sith eyes staring back at you or were meant to feel angry and murderous, instead you felt happier than ever pulling back and sharing a wide smile with Obi-Wan being pulling him back to you.

You had agreed quickly though that it stayed between the two of you, best not to give the Council a reason to act on their feelings. Keeping it a secret was easy enough as nothing seemed to change between you two, only that now you could actually kiss him whenever you wanted to. Your chambers were much too dangerous however, what with your Master still hating your connection with Obi-Wan, at least with Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon was more than used to seeing you in their quarters, though the first time he had walked in on the two of you making out of the sofa had left you and Obi-Wan blushing madly and refusing to so much as look at the Jedi Master for days after much to his amusement. 

As time passed you and Obi-Wan only became closer and you couldn’t understand just why the Jedi forbid attachments but kept silent on the matter. In all the years you’d known Obi-Wan nothing seemed bad about your connection and yet all it took was one day to show you exactly why the Jedi Order didn’t allow relationships like the one you shared with Obi-Wan.

It was how you found yourself in the turbolift surrounded by other Jedi who shot you looks but ultimately remained silent. The silence was so loud, you knew they all knew what had happened, knew you had been called to the Council room and their silence made you want to get out at the next stop and take the stairs just to be away from them. You wished Obi-Wan was with you, wished he was there to take your hand in his and whisper through your bond that everything would be alright even if it wouldn’t. He wasn’t there though, instead you were stuck in the turbolift giving you time to the strangers who glared and stared at you.

When the door finally opened you didn’t rush from the turbolift, instead you walked at your normal pace, forcing one foot in front of the other and held your head high as you made your way to the Council room. Though you looked calm inside you were terrified, surely they wouldn’t force you to leave but when it came to attachments the Jedi weren’t known to brush it off, it was a wonder you and Obi-Wan had been allowed so much leeway this long. You were sure you mostly had Master Qui-Gon to thank for that, knowing the man had been taking the brunt of complaints for years and yet had never once discouraged yours and Obi-Wan’s relationship.

You were really glad the man was in the meeting today.

It didn’t take too long before you were stood before the Jedi Council, cold looks sent your way but the Master’s shields were so secure you couldn’t feel their emotions, couldn’t determine just how bad this was going to be for you. You stood in silence, waiting for one of them to speak first, waited for them to express their disapproval, to judge every aspect of your relationship with Obi-Wan like they were privy to the ins and outs of it.

“Reckless, young Padawan, you have been.” Master Yoda spoke finally and even as every part of you wanted to shrink against the words, wanted to curl in on yourself, you refused and instead stood straight, pushing your shoulders back and swallowed around the lump in your throat.

“Many lives, you jeopardised. The mission, all for Padawan Kenobi, you risked.” You knew he was right, you couldn’t argue with his words but you stuck by your actions.

What should have been a simple mission with Obi-Wan aiding Master Qui-Gon on a diplomatic trip ended with Obi-Wan and the Senator being capture for days on end with the Council doing little to help, having no ransom demands, no threats, or taunts to go on and no trail to follow.

You had gone to them and told them you could help but they had brushed you aside. You knew if Qui-Gon had been there he would have allowed you to speak but he was still on the planet Obi-Wan had been taken from. 

You could feel nothing but pain coming from the bond between you and Obi-Wan, feeling it as if it were your own. You tried to call to him but he never answered and you couldn’t blame him, not when you could feel the pain and torture he was feeling. You tried to send as much positivity, positivity you didn’t even feel, through the bond, not even sure if he could feel it through the pain but you needed him to know he would be ok, that you were going to get him one way or another.

Stealing a ship wasn’t your finest moment but you could feel Obi-Wan slipping away as each day went by, all the while the Council sat in their meeting room, trying to find out where Obi-Wan was. You had never had to locate Obi-Wan using your bond, there had never been a need for it when you spent every day together, give or take mission days, but you knew you could do it, you knew you could find him.

And you had found him, he wasn’t the only one who had been taken, there were many citizens in the holding place. You hardly spared them a second glance, focus only on finding Obi-Wan so much so that you didn’t hear the person sneaking up behind you, only barely avoiding the blaster shot and watching as it hit a Twi’lek, her body slumping over but you didn’t have time to dwell on it as you pulled your lightsaber out and deflected more blaster shots, not even looking at the bodies around you.

Eventually you were surrounded on all sides and were giving as good as you got, only pausing when you felt your bond with Obi-Wan fill with a pain that almost sent you to your knees before the bond stuttered. Panic surged through you and it hadn’t taken you long to deal with the people shooting at you, leaving their bodies behind as you let the Force guide your way to Obi-Wan.

You froze in the doorway, only able to stare at his body trapped in a containment field, he was being forced upright but his body still sagged in pain, blood pouring from his lip and he looked a mess. Before you could even think about walking towards him a blaster shot ran past your head forcing you to look away from Obi-Wan and begin fighting with the only person in the room with him, as well as the two droids either side of him.

This was the first time you had ever been in a situation like this, one where you had to fight without a Master overseeing your actions but you didn’t have time to dwell on it, didn’t have time to think about anything other than getting Obi-Wan from the containment field and as far away from this place as possible. With only that thought in your head it was surprisingly easy to deal with the human and droids until only you and Obi-Wan remained in the room.

Getting him from the containment field had been easy enough with some help from the Force, carrying this weight over your shoulder was less easy but you managed, walking right past all the other people who had been taken, knowing that somewhere among the people was the Senator that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had been tasked with protecting but your only goal was getting Obi-Wan to safety.

And now Obi-Wan was tucked up in a bed at the far side of the healing chambers and you were stood before the Council ready to accept whatever punishment was decided for you, knowing full well you didn’t regret your decision and would make the same choices again in a heartbeat.

“Anything to say, have you?” Master Yoda asked and you wondered whether you should defend your actions or just accept the punishment and get back to Obi-Wan. 

You found your gaze seeking out Master Qui-Gon, his eyes already locked on you, giving you an encouraging nod to do whatever you thought was best and as much as you wanted to be at Obi-Wan’s side you also wanted to speak.

You knew anything you had to say would not settle the Council, in fact you were aware that your words would do quite the opposite and cause them to question your loyalties, to see just how far the bond between you and Obi-Wan, how it went much deeper than they thought.

Even before you realised your feelings for Obi-Wan you had never understood why Jedi couldn’t fall in love, why attachments were such a bad thing. After realising you were in love with your best friend you hated the rule even more, hated that your own feelings had to be squashed to nothing to serve the greater good, that all you were supposed to have was your duty. 

“I won’t apologise for my actions, Masters.” You began, watching as a smile spread across Qui-Gon’s face. “My goal was to save Obi-Wan, to save the man who I knew was barely holding on, a man who went through pain for days as you sat in this very room doing nothing productive to find him. I came to you all and offered my assistance, told you I could find Obi-Wan and yet I was dismissed whilst he was hurting. Had I been listened to I could have led you to Obi-Wan and with more aid you could have gotten the Senator and the others but I am only one person and I was only there for Obi-Wan.”

The room was silent, nobody willing to admit that you had a point, you had come to them but they had dismissed your plea to help as a way of inserting yourself into the rescue mission to see what was happening. 

However, they could also see the attachment clearly, see how you only focused on Obi-Wan when any other Jedi would have focused on the citizens taken. Qui-Gon was the only Master smiling, the rest sat with frowns and far away looks as you stood tall, waiting to see which Master would break the silence first.

“There is a reason attachments are forbidden, young Padawan, it is an easy fall to the Dark Side from there.” Master Windu said and you just about refrained from rolling your eyes but you needn’t have bothered suppressing it as Master Windu clearly picked up on it. “Surely even you can see that, blinded as you are by your attachment to the Kenobi boy. What would have happened if he was already dead? You may have killed them to save the boy but what would you have done to get revenge.”

“I am not going to go Dark Side, Master Windu, just because I care for Obi-Wan. You can speculate and call upon what if’s all you like but I won’t fall.” You said, voice calm and steady, not daring to show any of the  anger you felt, knowing it would only fuel their doubts about your loyalty. 

You hated how the Jedi only seemed to see things in black and white, how they couldn’t see the middle ground. Love didn’t always have to be a thing to be feared, a thing that would turn a good Jedi to the Dark Side, how the smallest attachment would be catastrophic. 

“Promise that, you cannot. Easy to fall should anything happen to Padawan Kenobi, it will be.” Master Yoda said and you knew there was no arguing with them, knew they had already made their mind up over the situation.

“What is my punishment, Masters?” You sighed softly, just waiting to be with Obi-Wan now. 

You glanced over at Qui-Gon as you heard a soft chuckle, watching as the others glared at him but he didn’t pay them any mind, instead focusing his attention on you and sending you a warm smile.  

“Your punishment, young Padawan, is no more missions until we decide you pose no risk of falling to the Dark Side, you will be in Archive security. When we deem you fit to return to duty and will not be paired alongside Padawan Kenobi.” You barely suppressed the outraged exclamation at not being paired with Obi-Wan anymore, especially when everyone knew the two of you worked together perfectly, completely in sync like you were the same person, always knowing the others move without having to exchange words but you choked it down, refusing to show them how much it affected you.

“Master Windu-” Qui-Gon began but was cut off by the man before he could speak further.

“The decision is final and Padawan Y/L/N should be glad that is all the punishment is.” Master Windu said and you knew to him he thought he was right but to you, taking you away from Obi-Wan was the worst punishment he could give.

“Do you really think it wise to separate them? Not even you can deny how well they work together.” Master Qui-Gon said and you felt a warmth run through you at Obi-Wan’s Master, at the Master who had practically taken you on as his own with no complaints, the man who had encouraged and approved of your ever growing relationship with Obi-Wan.

“The decision is final.” Master Windu said, his voice cold and stern, telling you there was no room for discussion. “Oh, Padawan Y/L/N, one more condition of your punishment before you leave.”

“Yes, Master Windu?” You tried to take a calming breath, tried to push all your emotions into the Force but found it didn’t help.

“You are to end your relationship with Padawan Kenobi immediately.” As the words left Master Windu’s mouth you felt your eyes fill with tears, a laugh of disbelief escaping you as you shook your head. “That is non-negotiable, Padawan Y/L/N.”

You shook your head again, never really having stopped, refusing to even entertain the idea. Instead of saving anything, instead of waiting to be dismissed you turned around and walked out of the room, ignoring the annoyed call of your name telling you this meeting wasn’t over. It was, it was well and truly over because if they thought they could ask that of you, demanded that of you, and you would stick around they weren’t as smart as people gave them credit for. 

You stormed through the hallways, glared as people stared at you in the turbolift. Ignoring the whispers that followed you down to the medical quarters you quickly made your way to Obi-Wan’s bed, drawing the privacy screens to finally block everyone out. 

You wished some days you could just leave, you knew Obi-Wan would follow you. The two of you could just run off together, hide away on a far off planet, a little house just for the two of you. It was a great dream but you knew deep down that wasn’t the path for either of you. You had always known Obi-Wan was destined for something more, something amazing and you could feel you were meant to be at his side, helping him when he needed guidance. 

Your anger could be felt so strongly, you had always known that once you and Obi-Wan got together that the stakes would be high, there was so much on the line and it was always going to be risky but it had finally come to a head, the Council finally deciding that your relationship was dangerous. 

You couldn’t help but scoff at the thought, how anyone could associate Obi-Wan and being dangerous together was beyond you.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you weren’t glad to see me alive.” Obi-Wan’s voice broke through your thoughts, instantly cutting through the anger you felt.

Your head lifted to his, eyes still watery and a few tears had made their way down your face causing Obi-Wan’s concerned look to deepen. 

“What happened, dear?” He asked softly, sitting up in bed and only feeling a twinge of pain after being in the bacta tank for so long.

You could only shake your head, seemingly unable to produce any words as more tears filled your eyes. 

“Come here.” Obi-Wan murmured, shifting over in his bed and pulling the thin covers back for you to climb in next to him.

It was exactly what you needed, crawling into the small bed with him, cuddling into him until an outsider wouldn’t be able to tell where you ended and Obi-Wan started. Obi-Wan didn’t rush you to talk even despite his worry, he just wrapped you in his arms and let you cry into his chest. Whispering soft, comforting words whilst his hand slipped into yours, entwining them together, the hand tough from years of wielding a lightsaber but seemed like it had been made perfectly for you to hold, feeling like your hands belonged together.

“Why do they get to speculate if our relationship is wrong, Obi?” You whispered into his chest after some time had passed.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but frown at your words but before he could say anything you were speaking again.

“They don’t know anything about me and you, they don’t know that I could never fall to the Dark Side because when I’m around you I feel lighter than ever.  I feel my happiest and yet they want to take that away from us, they get to decide the verdict, decide how our lives should be lived.” You ranted, finally able to speak freely knowing Obi-Wan wouldn’t share your words with anyone. 

“What happened?” Obi-Wan asked again when it was clear you weren’t going to say anything else.

“I was called before the Council,” you said, shifting to look up at him just in time for him to see you roll your eyes causing him to smile, “they wanted to discuss my punishment.”

“Your punishment? You saved my life, how could they punish that?” Obi-Wan asked in confusion, leaning into your touch as you brushed a piece of hair back from his forehead before letting your hand trail down to cup his cheek, thumb brushing across his cheekbone.

“I rescued you without their permission, even though when I tried to go to them nobody listened. When I rescued you, Obi-Wan I could feel you dying through our bond, I could feel the pain they inflicted on you and the life draining from you and I acted on instinct. I killed the people who took you hostage and other hostages died because of it and when I got you I left them and the Senator there.” You told him and he could see on your face you didn’t regret it. 

“Thank you for saving me.” He murmured, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours softly, feeling you relax further into him as you kissed him back, pulling him impossibly closer before the two of you pulled away, foreheads resting against each other. “What did the council say?” He whispered, no need to be any louder from this distance.

“That we can’t work missions together anymore,” Obi-Wan’s eyes widened at that, not completely shocked but it was no secret the two of you were an incredible duo, the bond between you only strengthening your success. “I’m not to be on missions until they give me permission and we have to break up.”

Obi-Wan could only stare at you, your eyes filling with tears again as you scrunched them shut in an effort to stop them falling. Obi-Wan shifted and pulled you into his arms, tucking you under his chin and feeling you bury your face against him. 

For a while the two of you stayed silent, content to be in each other’s arms as you let the words hang in the air. Your stomach felt sick as you waited to hear what Obi-Wan had to say, he had always been more concerned at following the rules, at being a good Jedi compared to you.

“I love you, Y/N,” Obi-Wan murmured and the smile that spread across your face couldn’t be stopped, “I love everything about you and no snide remarks from the other Padawan’s or verdicts from the Council is ever going to change that. We knew this wouldn’t be easy, hoped that they wouldn’t find out but knew they would eventually and they might think they hold power over us but they can’t take what’s ours, they can’t take our love away from us. You know you just have to say the words, I’d leave this Temple with you in an instant, I’d follow you to the end of the galaxy and all you have to do is ask.”

“You’re meant to be here, Obi-Wan,” You said, pulling back again to smile up at him with watery eyes and he couldn’t help but smile back. “And I’m meant to be by your side. It’s not going to be easy but you belong here. We’ll make it work, I don’t care how hard it gets so long as you’re mine and we have each other. I love you, Obi-Wan.” 

“You have too much faith in me, dear one.” Obi-Wan told you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I will be yours until you no longer wish to have me, no matter what the Council demands.”

“Then you’ll be mine forever.” You grinned up at him and he mirrored the expression before leaning down to kiss you again, this time more wildly, with a hunger that only your lips could ease. 

“Forever it is, my beloved.” He murmured against your lips before leaning back in to kiss you, fingers tangling in your hair as you gripped his shirt, only pulling away when it became necessary to breathe.

It was easy to forget about the Council member’s decisions, easy to forget about the looks you received walking through the Temple, easy to forget that there was a whole world beyond the privacy screens as Obi-Wan pulled you into his chest. The two of you comfortably tangled around each other as you closed your eyes, the earlier blood boiling anger you’d felt completely gone after being with Obi-Wan and it was easy to drift off in his arms. 

Neither of you were naive enough to think it’d be easy to hide your relationship from the Council now, knew that the next few weeks, months, even years would be long and difficult but like you had said so long as you had each other the two of you could get through anything. So long as you had each other, loved each other with every fibre of your being then not even the Council could take that away from you. 

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