Tony:I Hate This Feeling. Rhodey:Sobriety?

Tony: I hate this feeling. Rhodey: Sobriety?

Kid avengers AU but it’s like BNHA with a superhero magic class where they all live in dorms

me: what would thor and bruce look like if they switched clothes…?

me: …

me: wAIT i can D R AW

“The real secret of magic lies in the performance” David Copperfield

Bruce Banner had the longest hat-stall in history. It took the Sorting Hat twenty-five minutes to decide where he would go. Ravenclaw? He was smart, nearly dangerously so. He had ambitions to be better than his father ever was, but a temper to match–Slytherin? A kind, determined temperament and genuine care for his friends and environment–Hufflepuff is a bit short of herbologists, perhaps he could be the next great. 

But there it was, underneath every notion of himself. A beating heart to protect those he loved, a brash attitude to carry it out. 

“GRYFFINDOR!” the Sorting Hat had rung out, sighs of relief escaping and “it took you long enough” from the other tables. 

Bruce likes the color red. It is the color of rage, but not–not now. It is not the color of fear and anger and too-much-all-the-time here. It is safety and friends and sometimes anger. But not long anger, not anger to last years. 

He never even knew this part about him. Bruce could never have known that at some point in his life, his mother was an accomplished adventurer who had chronicled some of the most elusive species. She was in Ravenclaw, and people had said the reason she got so close to the animals was because she could be as still as a tree. 

He meets people, and they form their own little group despite certain connotations. 

His first friend is Tony, who is a Ravenclaw. His parents were both purebred Slytherins, cunning and cold and detached. Bruce remembers hearing Tony’s voice falter as he said that he wasn’t sure he was going to home for Christmas dinner. It was okay. He and Bruce went to the Christmas feast and they tried the weirdest food combinations they could and didn’t think about the fact that neither had a loving family. 

His second friend was made in Astrology class, Jane Foster. She didn’t really like the notion that stars controlled your every move and action or determined your future, but she liked learning about the constellations and drawing them on her arms. 

She talks about how she doesn’t really want to do anything in the wizarding world, just become an astrophysicist and discover new ways to travel. 

“It sucks that we’re so limited by Floo and apparating,” she said. “What if we could travel to entirely new places? Like, space places?” Bruce admits it would be cool. 

His third friend is another Gryffindor, just like him. They’re paired with Slytherins for their Quidditch class. Bruce is timid, but Bucky is the picture of confidence. He has a shiny metal arm, plates ever-shifting. 

Bucky is a power house when it comes to getting the Quaffle into the hoops. He’s insanely flexible, using an old Cleansweep 8 like it was a brand new Firebolt 3. 

“It’s all about the delivery,” he says. “Now come on, there’s gotta be something you’re passable at.” Bruce pushes up his glasses, not being able to see the small, golden Snitch that well. They give him a stick, and tell him to be a Beater. 

Bruce is a legend after that class. He beats Bludgers so bad it seems like the balls don’t even want to come near the Gryffindor side. The Quidditch coach–Danvers–grins as she looks at him. 

“You’re gonna be famous, Banner.” 

The fourth friend is made when Bucky gets joined by his best friend, Steve. Steve is in Slytherin, a Seeker despite his huge frame, and likes to laugh. Bruce was told that the house isn’t bad–bad people can come from it, but look at a few other members of history that were from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Everyone has good and bad in them. 

They eat together on the nice days, the ones off school. Joining them is Clint, a Hufflepuff. He’s really good at aiming, getting food from the commons that no one else can find when they’re in first year, and thinks that if they play their cards right, they might be able to get out of the huge end-of-year essay that Professor Coulson has assigned for the last thirty-odd years. 

Joining Clint is mysterious Natasha, and a Slytherin who smiles like she knows enough secrets to get you killed, but has the same dorky sense of humor as Bruce and Steve. 

Then, there’s a match with Hufflepuff that Bruce will never forget. Around Hogwarts, they call it Thunder Stadium Day. 

There’s a wizard from up north, or at least, a student. His name is Thor and he’s built like a power house. He’s confident, nice, and is said to be part of a long legacy of successful Quidditch players. Their team captain–Rhodey–says that he’s been to one of their practices, and Thor beats Bludgers like they’re barely even moving. Grand slam, every time. 

It’s an expectation set on Bruce to at least try. 

And try he does. He does even more than that. Thor is a powerful guy, built like a god. Bruce can’t deny that he doesn’t look good–he’s ripped, has a nice smile, and now is so not the time to focus on that. He’s hitting Bludgers out of the stadium, cracking them like it’s nothing more than a gnat buzzing around him. He sends Sharon–one of their best Chasers–flying out into the audience, nearly knocking into Steve. 

He takes rage, takes all of this energy he has been building up–”You’re so zen, Bruce, how’d you do it?” Tony asks–

BOOM. 

It feels like he just made a crack of thunder, and the stadium is silenced for a moment. 

Thor looks at Bruce with a shocked expression on his face. Bruce just shrugs and grins. 

“Well, this was certainly the most electrifying game we’ve had,” Tony comments. “So, um, Bruce Banner just obliterated any hope of Thor being a total dominator on-field, thank you Gryffindor for still maintaining your reputation as the best, nice one–” 

Hufflepuff ends up winning. Their whole spiel is being good finders, and they still have one of the best Seekers, Peter Parker. Kid is tiny, fast, and talks a mile a minute. He’s damned good at perception. 

Bruce isn’t expecting Thor to talk to him after it. 

“You were impressive,” he says. “You’re as strong as I in the field. Why is that?” Bruce just shrugs. You can’t just outright say “I have issues with my family and have a tendency to bottle everything up”. Please. He was in company. 

“Just practice, I guess.” Thor nods. 

“Well done, then.” 

Bruce sees a lot more of Thor than he thought he would. Thor walks with him to their Potions class, gets in on the lunch group. Bruce enjoys talking to Thor, who is smarter than he appears and kinder than he anticipated. 

They study in the library together. Bruce doesn’t exactly need studying–well, his Transfiguration could use a bit of work, but that could be put off another day–but Thor was well and truly fucked for Muggle Studies. 

“What do you mean you guys don’t have moving pictures?” Thor asks. “Not even..one?” 

“All we got are movies,” Bruce says with a shrug. “Well, unless you count gifs as moving pictures, but those are just one instance.” 

“You are all philistines who won’t last another year,” Thor says. “Ugh, I’m going to fail this test. Professor May said that we need to memorize a ton of Muggle inventions, including an oven for children. Why you lot bake children, I’ll never know.” 

“That’s called cannibalism, and that’s still a crime here,” Bruce says with a laugh. “You dork, it’s an Easy-Bake Oven. They’re little microwave ovens that kids can use to practice baking and shit.” 

“I don’t think I can use that exact phrase on my essay,” Thor says with a smile. “You gigantic nerd.” 

Time passes, and it’s winter. It’s a gorgeous view from the windows, candlelight lighting the place up, sweaters worn always, and fires crackling. 

Bruce Banner Hated Being Cold. He couldn’t stand it. He would never go to the Slytherin common room because even with the extra fire places, it was never warm enough. Tony joked that once it hit eighteen degrees celsius, he couldn’t stand anything. 

This means that Thor has to deal with a very tired and cold Bruce when they go to Potions class. 

“You’re so weak,” Thor says. 

“You don’t even remember what Wi-Fi is, shut up,” Bruce mutters. “I forgot my sweater.” 

“You’re literally right next to the cauldron fire.” 

“It doesn’t matter,” Bruce says. “I want tea.” 

The next time they have Potions–and Bruce forgets his sweater, again–Thor just rolls his eyes and pulls his own sweater out of his bag. 

“It’s gonna be a bit big on you, but it should do fine you big baby.” Bruce smiles as he feels the soft material. It’s perfectly cozy, a nice knit pattern. It also smells fantastic–like burning wood and crisp apples. 

After lunch, Natasha walks with Thor to their Defense class. 

“Your crush is beginning to show,” she says simply. “Quit giving Bruce heart-eyes every single time he’s in your line of sight.” 

“I don’t–” 

“I really don’t think you want to finish that statement,” Natasha says. “Especially because I could have you vomiting frogs for the next week every single time you said a lie, and I bet you would confess.” 

(Thor isn’t exactly scared of Nat. He’s just…intimidated.) 

Christmastime is as joyous as it is tense. People are going home, people are staying. Steve, Sharon, Bucky, and Jane are all going home. Most everyone else in their friend group is staying. Except for Thor, who is going home with his brother Loki. 

They open gifts the night before all the students go home for break. Bruce smiles as he gets many drawings of constellations from Jane, as well as a couple of the Muggle newspaper clippings. She got one of the articles, cut out pieces, just to say, “Neil Armstrong was That Bitch.” (How she got the word “bitch” was unclear.) 

Tony gets him a new Wizard chess set, promising to pass the time playing it with Bruce, and hopefully beating him at least once. 

“We’ll see,” Bruce says. 

Sharon and Steve have a joint gift, a white lab coat with the ability to have ink reappear and disappear at Bruce’s will. 

“We got a Seventh year to do it,” Sharon says. “Just in case that pesky Professor Ross tries to stump you again or you have an idea.” 

There are many presents, many thanks and hugs. 

The most important gift, however, is the one from Thor. 

“You grabbed my favorite sweater, but I need it to return home,” he teases. “So, I’ve brought you a replacement.” 

It’s a soft yellow, not a color Bruce wears at all. It still smells like burning wood and crisp apples, though. Bruce smiles. 

“Doubles as Gryffindor wear, yeah?” Thor asks. 

That night, when Bruce is in the Ravenclaw boarding rooms, talking with Tony about theories and science, it’s brought up to him out of the blue. 

“You like Thor, right?” Bruce blanches at the question. 

“What.” 

Tony shrugs. “You, um, like Thor. You know. You always talk about him, have his sweater as a gift, and you already miss him. It’s pretty obvious, Bruce.” 

Oh no. Tony grins. 

“You just realized this, didn’t you?” 

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┃┃╱╲ In this

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Viv Vision

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bruce has so many CHILDREN